Authors

Part 4 - Off the Beaten Track

Part 6 - Epilogue

***

An MLP:FiM fanfic by Midnight Shadow

Thanks to: Chistery, Roy, Blaze, Pride, Peachy Punch and all my readers and editors :3

Based upon Blaze’s “Conversion Bureau” universe

***

The building was imposing, but then many buildings were now. So many changes over so little a space of time; Martin Danielson shook his head, trying not to grin like a loon at what he was about to do.

It was only a few years after what the world was calling ‘the last revolution’, the dawn of a technological singularity had brought global change on an unprecedented level. Cheap mass production, general artificial intelligence - almost overnight the world moved towards a state of post-scarcity, only not without hiccups. Heavy industry the world over, especially in previously third-world countries, had ruined much of the biosphere. Plants and animals had suffered, died, become extinct. People had starved, communities collapsed, fortunes lost. It had come so close to war so many times...but then the ponies had appeared, bringing with them even wilder changes. They offered something beyond the wildest dreams of the faltering hordes of humanity; a new life. Their lands were pure, pristine, unsullied by heavy industry - indeed, unsullied by almost any industry save farming.

Many had lobbied for access to this paradise through the global human-dominated senates, houses and other governmental and quasi-governmental organizations, seeking to take advantage of prime real estate, excellent farmlands, clement weather apparently controlled by the rulers of ‘Equestria’ as they called it.

Ambassadors had been sent...and returned empty handed, for around this land was a seemingly magical barrier, impenetrable to humans. Instead, these ponies sent their own ambassadors out to meet humankind. They spoke of friendship, they carried no weapons save horn and hoof, yet brandished powers which they freely spoke of as indeed being magical.

The word had come out, no, there would never be humans in Equestria. They were forbidden entry, for humans had ruined their own world, why should they just be given another to pillage and spoil? The ponies were aghast at poisons tipped into rivers, poisons sprayed on crops, fed to children. Traps set to rid the land of “pests” which would otherwise be out there removing the bugs and other ailments suffered by plantlife, negating the need for such chemicals. Animals kept in awful conditions with little regard for their wellbeing - humans were apparently intelligent, but the ponies had real trouble comprehending what appeared to be madness ingrained so deep it was no longer recognized.

However, the ponies were compassionate - using their phenomenal powers, whatever the basis, they had devised a way to offer succour to those in need. The Conversion Bureaus.

The ponies set up, using what little they had to trade, a network of centers the world over, where they planned to take in humans and, somehow, change them into ponies.

Martin was going to be amongst the first, what did he have to lose? He’d studied for years in systems administration. learnt to ply his trade, gotten a few breaks - and then almost-self-aware programs had been developed and he was no longer needed.

He remembered fondly the first real general AI as it clumsily assisted with his work, quoting poetry and koans as it picked apart his commands and acted upon them, its growing familiarity with the tasks set for it. He remembered the painful pride when it and thousands like it had grown more competent than he and his kind, he had become obsolete.

Nothing he knew was needed, almost overnight the entire market had not just collapsed, it had ceased to exist. Only very, very few held positions any longer, managing the seed programs, managing what hardware and software was unable to be managed by other programs, but almost to a man, millions the world over had been put to pasture. Martin just decided to take it one step further when he saw the advert playing on his holoprojector that one fateful morning. He’d been moping about the apartment, living off of instant meals and energy drinks, barely bothering to get dressed, even using those damned AI programs to make him appear dressed when speaking over the comm-link. They expertly made him appear well-coiffed, clean shaven, smart - his mirror on the other hand begged to differ.

He hadn’t left his apartment in days - the air outside was often filthy, almost unbreathable at times and the mass of steel and concrete stretched for an eternity before any form of countryside. When there, what could he do? The grass was protected, he couldn’t swim in the lake for fear he’d poison the fish...it was a joke. Industry had won on the manufacturing legislation, and the greens had won on the rest. The result was an unworkable mishmash of lack of oversight and crippling regulations on the use of free time and public amenities. Besides, there was nobody outside he wanted to meet. With ten thousand channels of instant entertainment at his fingertips, and glorious full-dee holovision communications anywhere on the planet, why would he ever leave?

Then the advert had come on, showing pictures taken with simple chemical-based cameras of an idyllic natural paradise. Martin had taken a single look around his apartment - clean and neat, light and airy, but otherwise barren - and had got up, washed, shaved and got dressed. He didn’t even pack. He took his car, the fuel-cell battery not even half-charged from neglect, it would only take him one way, and drove.

***

A bare half hour later, he stood outside the imposing building in his home city-state, not the first in the world but one of the first. The parking lot was pristine, empty save for his vehicle. The roads had been clear, relatively speaking. Much work was done remotely now, with fuel costs sky-rocketing as the last industrial revolution produced massive wealth for the few. For the masses, they had yet to feel the benefits of a so-called post-scarcity world. Indeed, every day more found they were not needed, and were afforded the bare minimum of support to live and learn a new trade.

A new trade. Martin chuckled coldly to himself, very few careers needed new blood. Very few careers wanted old blood. His chosen path had perhaps been sudden, but he had made his mind up. Here he was. The Conversion Bureau.

Martin looked at the doors and his grin faded slightly; a big sign said ‘SORRY! We Are Closed!’ - as he read it he snorted, “even in the future nothing works!”

He turned around, pulled his hat over his head and sat down by the double doors to wait. What else did he have to do?

Clip-clop-clip-clop-clip-clop... Martin opened his eyes, the sun had moved a little but not much. He was comfortable enough, and with the weather and pollution forcast set to be clear, he didn’t worry overly about being outside that day. He blinked though at the sight of a purple horse - no, a purple unicorn pony trotting to the building trying her best not to look flustered, “I’m so, so sorry! I’m late, nobody remembered to open the doors, I broke the jelly-phone thing they gave me and I couldn’t call anypony on it anyway because, hey, hooves...”

Martin blinked again, and held out a hand, scrambling to get up. The approximately three-foor-high unicorn mare - he assumed mare, it sounded like a she and he was too polite to actually look - stuck out a hoof.

“Shake?” asked Martin dumbly.

“I...I believe that’s what you humans do, but I thought it involved more touching.”

“Oh, ah, er, sorry...” Martin took gentle hold of her hoof and shook it, lightly, almost afraid she would burst into glitter or somehow pop like a soap-bubble. A talking horse! No, he reminded himself, a talking pony.

“This is where we introduce ourselves, yes?” she said.

“I...guess so,” said Martin, flustered. He was shaking the hoof of a talking purple pony unicorn! Nothing in his life had prepared him for a talking purple pony unicorn. Her hoof was soft, surprisingly supple, shaped exactly like a normal horse’s hoof, yet with a difference he found he couldn’t place. Her pelt was equally soft, well-brushed, smooth and most important, she didn’t smell. He’d expected her to smell of, well, horse. She didn’t. She smelt of flowers, hay, grass. There was something he’d called ‘earthy’ but it was far from unpleasant.

“I think you’re supposed to let go after you stop shaking, and you’re supposed to say you’re name whilst you do? I’m Twilight Sparkle.”

“Twilight..?”

“Sparkle. You say your name now.”

“Martin. Danielson. Pleased to meet you...Miss Sparkle.” he wasn’t sure what you addressed a pony as. He didn’t know if she was married...did ponies get married?

“You’re the only one here today it seems - you might as well call me Twilight - everypony else does. Shame, I had this whole speech setup.” she pointed with her muzzle at the cloth bags on her shoulders, a bound sheaf of papers stuck out, hand-written, or hoof-written, thought Martin to himself, “can I give you the speech? It’s...I worked hard on it...” she looked positively downcast.

“Maybe...maybe there’ll be more later? And you can use it then?”

“You’re right. I hope. I wouldn’t want all of this to go to waste,” and she gestured with a hoof, “it’s hard work getting through all your laws and bylaws and inlaws and so on. Oh me, if I wasn’t so organized...but even I have limits. Well, come on in. We may as well get started!”

“Right now?”

“You...don’t want to be a pony? You do know what we do here, right? Nopony’s making you come?”

“Nobody, no. I-I-I...I wanted to come. I mean...I saw the advert. And I wanted to go there. To Equestria. As a pony.”

“Relax, Martin, it’s not a difficult process to go through. We’ve done it hundreds of times before.” Twilight opened the doors to the building somehow with her horn, it flashed briefly and they slid open silently. Inside was cool, pleasant. A white unicorn with a luxurious purple mane was speaking into a phone that she managed to somehow hold on her shoulders as she filed a hoof with a rasp that was floating in mid-air.

“How...how is she doing that?” whispered Martin to himself

Twilight looked, “I really don’t know, every time I try that I get the most awful neckache.”

“I meant the rasp!”

“Magic. She’s a unicorn.”

“Magic? There’s no such thing.”

Twilight stopped in mid-trot, “Martin? Do you actually know anything about me and my little ponies?”

“I...you’re...er...ponies?”

“Yes?”

“And...you live in Equestria.”

“And?”

“And you talk.”

“That’s it?” Twilight face-hoofed, muttered, “why do I put up with this.” and stomped off calling “Spike! Spike!”

The soft sibilant snoring noise Martin had been hearing, which he’d blamed the air-conditioning, abruptly ended and a sheepish scaly face peered over the counter, “yes, Twilight?”

“Spike...were you sleeping again?”

“I’m a baby dragon, Twilight. I’ve got to get my sleep you know.”

“Then you should go to bed earlier instead of watching the movie channels and playing computer games. Maybe that way you’ll be in time to open the doors.” Twilight pointed a hoof at Martin and gave the purple and green dragon a dirty look.

“Sorry Twi,” said Spike, retreating behind the desk. The snoring started again.

“Dragon.” said Martin

“Spike, yes. He’s my assistant. Come on, let’s show you around the place.”

“Dragon...” said Martin again, pointing. Twilight rolled her eyes and gave him a gentle push as she gave him the grand tour. The receptionist was Rarity - at least whilst they broke in the new crew, who hadn’t arrived yet. Fluttershy was the name of a timid yellow pegasus they found out in the gardens, tending to the crops and an alarmingly large number of small furry cute critters, all of which seemed to bustle around Fluttershy as if they were tame. Somehow she had them doing work on her behalf, a small army of helpful rodents, clearing away dead leaves, picking berries, digging holes...Martin had never seen anything like it. He was so struck by the oddness of it all, he almost got bowled over by a blue, rainbow-haired winged streak of lightning called Rainbow Dash who was, to fit her name, dashing around the place on a million small errands.

“Twi’, I don’t know why you got me here, this place is like, so lame. You barely let me out of the grounds and when you do, flying on Earth is all regulations and comm-checks - the helmet and goggles they make me wear chafe my ears something fierce. Can you believe they tried to make me hire unionized mechanics? For these bad babies?” Dash held up her wings triumphantly and struck a pose, “I only got out of it because I class as a light aircraft, AND a diplomatically protected one at that.” Dash turned to look at Martin, “who’s this dweeb?”

“DASH! You mind your manners!”

“I’m only joshin’, hello human. Dash is the name.” Dash held out a hoof, Martin gripped it carefully and shook.

“And dashing’s the game?” replied Martin

“Heh, I could get used to you. Let’s hang out some time, after you get ponied up. You’ll probably be cute.” she kissed her hoof and blew it at him before zooming off.

“Are all the other ponies like her?”

“Nope, some know how to address a stranger politely.”

“She was just being friendly. You’re all friendly. Don’t you ever fight?”

Twilight stopped for a moment, “we don’t tend to fight. What would we fight over? I mean Dash is obnoxious at times, and Rarity’s prissy, but they’re my friends, and Fluttershy...well Fluttershy is Fluttershy.”

“Descriptive names, you have.”

“We like to have names that suit us. Some of us - like my friend Applejack who’s back home seeing to her orchards - tend to have a family speciality. You’ll meet the Apple Clan if you come live near Ponyville. Then again, we live closer than you humans do - you all have family names to keep track of all your kith and kin. Not a bad idea, I think it’s the only way the Apple Clan really know who’s who. Then again, it’s the Apple Clan...”

Just then, as they headed back into the building proper, with Twilight about to display the sleeping quarters to Martin, there was a burst of static and a giggle, followed by a loud clopping noise as a hoof hit a microphone, “This thing on? Heeelllooooo! Ooh it is! I just love these...ahem! Good morning, er, afternoon! This is Pinkie Pie speaking, and I’ll be doing the daily announcement! My first one! Wheee! Isn’t that special! Well today, we have...oh...just the one? Well that makes him extra specially special! We have Martin Danielson in the center today to be ponified! Isn’t that great! Let’s all give Marty, the M-meister, M.D, the D-man, M-dawg...oh fine, let’s all give Martin,” and he could hear the eyeballs rolling at being denied her fun, “a big stomping stampede of a welcome!”

The microphone clicked off loudly, and with a bustle and a sudden burst of streamers and confetti, a bright pink pastel pony bounded into the room, one hoof holding a ridiculously oversized foam hand that read ‘Number 1!’ which she waved around as she bounced on all three remaining hooves around the startled human. He could barely keep up and felt rather dizzy after only a few repetitions, but it didn’t seem to bother Pinkie Pie.

“Whooo! That was great! We should totally have a party!”

“Pinkie, no. No parties. Not today. Later!”

“Aww, you’re such a sticky sticky stick in the mud you...you...mud-sticking stick you.” Pinkie stuck out a tongue

“Anyway,” said Twilight, pointedly turning around so her rear was facing Pinkie, who continued making faces, “normally we’d get you settled in, you’d be here for a few days and get used to the idea, but...well...no time like the present.”

“Don’t you want to know why I want to be a pony? Allergies? Employment history?”

“Do you have any allergies?”

“I...no.”

“oh, well, that was simple. How about your employment history then?”

“I...I work with computers. Or I did, before...”

“Oh,” Twilight looked puzzled, “well we don’t really have many computers. It’s the hooves. We can’t really use the fiddly things. Rarity’s the only one who can dial a jelly-phone without it breaking in two.”

“So...can you take me?”

“Of course.”

“Not worried about my job prospects?”

“Not really. You’ll find something to do, everypony always does.”

“Aren’t you worried I could be a trouble-maker?”

“Are you a trouble-maker?”

“I..no!”

“Fine! Then it’s settled. Unless you want to go through the formal route, I think this one time we can skip the ‘frou-frou’ as Spike would call it and get straight to the whole ponification part. You ready?”

Martin blinked, “I...I guess so. Let’s go before I change my mind.”

“Once we do this, there’s no turning back. Nopony’s ever wanted to, but just so we’re straight,” said Twilight, “it’s a one-way trip. You’ll be giving up everything you have here and starting a new life. It’s why we usually have the whole week-long thing. Those unsure check out long before then.”

“What can I say,” said Martin at the double-doors below a sign marked simply ‘Ponification Station’, “let’s do this.”

The room itself, down the long corridor behind the double doors, was spotless. Unused, even. It had a vaguely operating-room smell, disinfectant and not-yet-dried paint, but looked business-like enough.

“Hop up on the seat here,” Twilight indicated the oddly-shaped seat with arm and leg-rests.

“Shouldn’t I take my clothes off or something?”

“Oh! Heh, silly me. Yes, it’ll be much easier to work that way, and taking them off after isn’t really going to work.”

“Not to mention we had to pop the eyeballs back in of the last guy who didn’t take his poloneck sweater off!” laughed a voice outside the window

“Dash! That’s a lie and you know it!”

“Hehehe....” somehow Rainbow made a pop noise with her hoof in her muzzle and put on a derpy-eyed expression. Twilight growled under her breath and pulled the venetian blinds down with her teeth, giving a swift twist of the neck to shut out the offensive pegasus.

“Spoilsport. I wanted to see what he looked like!” she called from behind the screen

“You’ll see him after! Scoot!”

“I better. I bet he’s a pegasus like me.”

“Scoot!”

“Yeah yeah,” said the voice from behind the blinds as Dash gave up trying to peek between them, “I’ll catch ya later stud.” she was off with an audible swoosh.

***

“So,” asked Martin, “how’s this going to work?” he was naked, mostly, blushing. It crossed his mind that all the ponies were, with the exception of Twilight who still had her bags on, and Rarity who had put on some sort of hat to keep her hair out of the way of her eye and presumably horn, absolutely naked. Why it should still bother him he didn’t know.

“You lie down here, without the underwear - that would get uncomfortable on a pony and is quite unnecessary,” said Rarity, gesturing with a hoof, “and drink this.”

A cup floated in front of Martin’s eyes. He blinked, would he ever get used to that? Taking it, he sniffed. It was purple, smelling slightly of berries or grapes.

“And this makes me a pony?” he asked incredulously as he nervously removed his underwear and stood stark bollock naked in front of the largest single gathering of naked females he had ever stood infront of. Rarity swatted his hand away and gestured to the arm-rest disapprovingly, he was being difficult and childish, said her expression.

“No, it makes you sleepy, silly!” said Pinkie, bouncing again. He didn’t know what she was doing, but she seemed excited. He realised he’d never seen her not excited. It can’t be such a bad life, he reckoned, if you can be that happy. He downed the mixture in one, making a face at the bitter aftertaste.

“So, uh, how long bef-” he passed out.

The first thing to come were sensations, emotions, pure light and sound. There was endless fields of waving grass, sweet summer breezes, azure-blue sky. He was without form, fluid, ethereal. The wind spoke of life, animals, ponies. Following the irresistable pull of life he found himself mingling with the herd. They didn’t speak in any language he knew but conversed with body and breath. He found he could understand them, “come!” and “go!” and “fight!” and “run!” spoke the multitude. In moments he found himself on all fours, bucking, prancing, neighing. He looked down, a beige vaguely-equine creature, more like what a horse was than what one looked like. They took off across the fields, and he followed, galloping into the sun. With a leap, a whinny of terror, a shrill cry of exultation, the ground under his hooves disappeared and with suddenly-sprouted wings he flew. Now the herd around him were swooping and diving, effortless in their mastery of the air. As the sun went down he flew towards a castle high on a rock, lights bright against the velvet sky, beneath stars that shone as none he could remember. Like mist he flowed through the open window, around the spiral staircase and down, down into chambers deep in the mountain. A library, a laboratory, horned ponies worked in soft, musical voices, mixing, creating, learning, teaching.

In the middle of a suddenly-vast hall were two thrones, occupied by two ponies - one light and fiery, the other dark and glowing. They smiled at him, their twin glows growing bright, brighter, so bright he could barely see...

He opened his eyes. The room, blinds up, sun streaming in through the curtain-less window straight into his face. He groaned, and brought a hand up to his face, only to slap himself silly with a hoof. When the stars had cleared he looked, and carefully waved the hoof in front of his massively-elongated nose, “It’s mine!” he said in a strange voice. He coughed, “forgive me, I’m a little hoarse.”

With peals of laughter, the pink pony bounced up to him and gave him a kiss on the nose, “I knew you could do it! Oop, gotta mind that thing...” she moved her head to the side, and pecked his cheek.

“Thing?”

“You’re a unicorn, Martin.”

“I...am?”

“Dashy’s gonna be sooooo disappointed. She prefers pegasi. Sooo disappointed!” Pinkie gave him an appraising look that made his heart flutter for some reason, before bounding off again, “hee hee!”

“Can you get up?” asked Twilight, as she and Rarity moved to give him room.

“I...I don’t know...” Martin eased himself off the seat which had now bent and moulded itself to his four hooves and collapsed in a heap on the floor, “give me a minute.”

“Carefully now, most of your muscles are still in the same place, but others...it might help to imagine walking on your fingertips, which you don’t have anymore. Gently now, even foals can do it almost right off the bat, I’m sure a big strong unicorn like you won’t have any trouble...”

Martin put one foot on the floor - hoof, he corrected mentally - and then another. And another. And another. His elbows and knees - which he now seemed to have four of each - buckled and he almost fell over...but he regained composure at the last moment. He’d done it! Standing!

“YAY!” said Pinkie, bouncing around him again so enthusiastically he found himself in a heap of hooves, knees, elbows, wrists, fetlocks...whatever it was the ponies had. Oh man, he said to himself, I’m going to have to go back to school when I don’t even know what my body parts are called.

“You’re doing well!” said Twilight, giving Pinkie The Look and pointing out the door with one hoof, “want to see what you look like?”

Rarity held up a mirror with her hooves, balancing it carefully so he could see himself, “darling,” she said, “your mane, your tail, simply gorgeous! When you get settled in you simply must come visit and model for me. I’ll have a whole range of clothing just for you...the possibilities!”

Martin looked, and there in front of him was a dark blue - midnight blue, he thought to himself - unicorn stallion with glowing multi-coloured mane and tail. He held one hoof up, trying to copy the pose that Rainbow Dash had made. He almost had it but fell on his chin. He swore as he tasted a bit of blood, he’d bit his tongue, “ow! Dammit!”

“Ooh, try to heal it!” said Pinkie, poking her head through the doors, somehow knowing he’d injured himself, she must have been hiding outside the door and listening since being banished, “you unicorns are good at that sorta thing!”

“Heal ith?” he lisped, trying to look at his injured appendage.

“Just...think of your tongue. Think of it not hurting, and then...make it so.”

Martin did so, screwing up his eyes, clenching his jaw, somehow pushing with his mind until he felt something burst and suddenly his tongue no longer hurt! He stuck it out and looked at it, “I...I think that wath a succeth...” he said, “are unicorn tongues supposed to be quite that shade of purple?”

***

The biggest challenge of his life faced him. He breathed heavily, steeling himself. He was not prepared.

“Come on you silly foal, it’s only a hallway. It doesn’t bite.”

“Easy for you to say, you’ve had more than five minutes with those legs of yours.”

“Just a hop, skip and a jump!”

“It’ll be hop, skip and splat if I try.”

“Then,” said Twilight, shoving Pinkie out the way, who happily bounded away down the corridor like a pony-shaped india-rubber ball, “put one hoof in front of the other. Remember, two - that’s your right front hoof - three, your left hind hoof - one, your left FRONT hoof, and four, the right hind hoof.”

“Easy...easy peasy...I can do this...” Martin put one hoof after the other, and found himself bunched up like a hoop as he’d forgotten to move his front legs. He fell over once again as he tried to stand up like a human, and dragged himself to his hooves once more. Leaning against the wall, ignoring the cries of “cheater!” from a giggling Pinkie Pie, he shuffled forwards a few steps sliding against the support before finding the rhythm.

Clop-clop-clop-clop-clop-THUNK...he pulled himself up again,

clop-clop-clop-clop.... clop-clop clop-clop... he had it! He laughed, was that it? He experimented, trying a trot. He tried a backwards trot...and then after picking himself up vowed to try trotting backwards much later. It seemed like forever, but he was suddenly at the double doors. He nosed them open - that’s why there’s no doorknobs! He realised - and stepped out into the main building’s common room.

There was a bright flash as a dozen or more bulbs went off - apparently somepony has alerted the media, thought Martin to himself wryly as a gaggle of shouting, urgent, gesticulating hairless monkeys bade him look in their direction. It was almost comical in their frantic yelling and shouting for a response. They all spoke at once, just a jumble of noise, barely separable from base whooping and hollering, most of the questions non-sensical and ridiculous.

“Oh, it’s just another of those ponies...hey, hey pony, what’s your name?”

“This way, pony, look over here!”

“Where’s the guy who came here? How much is he paying you for this?”

“Is he dead? Will he recover? Our sources say he’ll have permanent brain damage and neural problems - how do you respond?”

“Are the stories true, do you euthanize humans and replace them with pony duplicates?”

Martin blinked, didn’t they..? No, no they didn’t.

“I’m er, Midnight,” said Martin, making a name up on the spot, “Midnight...Sh-Shadow.”

“Okay Midnight, tell you what, we’ll give you all the hay you can eat for a year if you tell us where the pony-dude is.” asked one of the brasher, louder reporters quickly.

“Oh, you mean Martin? He’s out back in the gardens, I think, or off sleeping, if he didn’t run off already.”

With a rushing and pushing and he sound of blows and breaking equipment, the gaggle of desperate reporters fell over themselves as they fought to get the exclusive first pictures of the ponified human, wherever he was hiding. Martin sniggered to himself and trotted out to the front desk to keep up the charade. Spike was sitting there, paws folded across his chest having listened to the whole thing, “So, Midnight Shadow, huh?”

“Shh! I’ve got better things to do than pose for those vultures.”

“Like what? I thought you humans thrived on fame, fortune and glory?”

Martin stopped and blinked, looking at a hoof, “yeah. We...they do.”

“Already a pony, huh?”

“I guess I am.”

“So, how’s it feel?”

“I...I dunno. Kinda nice, I guess.”

“And the clothing-optional status?”

“I...oh...OH hell...I’m...” he blushed, he hadn’t even realised!

“Relax, relax, I’m just messing with ya. After all, not a stitch on me either. Come on, let’s see what they’ve got in the cafeteria.” with that, the baby dragon hopped off the counter and landed squarely on Martin’s shoulders, where he gave a little kick with both heels.

“H’ya! Giddy up!”

“If you ‘hiya’ me again I’ll buck you off.” snorted Martin, turning his head to look at the sheepish dragon. Truth be told he wasn’t sure if he could without falling over, but either way the pest would get a spill.

“Hiho Midnight, away?”

“That’ll do.” They trotted - Martin trotted, Spike bounced - to the cafeteria.

***

The cafe was empty - heck, the whole building was empty, apart from the skeleton crew of pastel ponies and desperately-seeking-Martin reporters. Martin’s stomach growled, as did Spike’s, “heh, guess you’re as hungry as I am?”

“I haven’t eaten properly for days. Energy drinks and snacks.”

“Mmm, snacks. I like a good glass of coke. I don’t know why you put that brown liquid in the bottles though, completely ruins the fine bouquet.”

“You eat glass?”

“Didn’t think I ate hay now, did you?”

“I...don’t know.”

“Silly! Dragons only eat hay when they’re on a diet.” said Pinkie, popping up behind a huge bowl of green salad. She somehow had a fishnet hat on which kept her bouyant, bouncy pink hair out of the way. She brandished a ladle, though Martin was completely unable to tell how, “what’ll I do you for?”

“What’s...uh..good? For a pony I mean?”

“Alfalfa sandwich, alfalfa smoothie, alfalfa salad and alfalfa surprise.”

“Alfalfa surprise?”

Pinkie grinned so wide he was quite sure she would burst, “surprise! It’s alfalfa.”

Martin couldn’t help but smile, even through the corny joke, “okay, you win. Give me something you’d eat.”

“Oooh nonononono, only a third-grade Pinkie-Dan can master sugar of that magnitude. I’ll give you something you would eat.” said Pinkie, and she ladled out a selection of carrots, grass, hay, dandelions, apple and salads.

“That’s it? No sweet chili sauce? No fries?”

“Well we could do you a mean fried hay burrito, but we’re out of sweet chili sauce...”

Martin sighed, “I’ll give it a go...”

Martin took the plate gingerely in his mouth after dropping it a few times back on the counter, still unused to the whole ‘no thumbs’ and oral dexterity issues ponies had, and placed it on a table. He looked forlornly at the chairs, and decided to stand. He could barely keep himself upright without wobbling as it is, he didn’t need to negotiate sitting too. He nibbled the carrots. He devoured the cucumber. The hay and grass...it was like...he couldn’t explain it well, not even to himself. A mixture of fruit juice flavour with the texture of salad-greens. It was delicious. He was surprised when he’d eaten it all.

“That...that was...”

“How was your first meal as a pony?” asked a voice behind him

Martin answered, “oh, it was nothing like I expec- oh damn it! You tricked me.”

“You tricked me first.” said the man, pointedly leaving his camera on the table, pointing the other way.

“It wasn’t difficult,” Martin looked up at the human, realising the human looked...different to him than he would have before. He was a stranger, but...now he was a strange stranger.

“Care to do an interview?”

“Only if you don’t ruin it for everyone. I know how much you guys love a juicy story, but I don’t want to be turned into some three-page monstrous misanthrope.”

“It’ll be hard, you turned your back on the human race.”

“I guess I did,” Martin sat on his haunches and thought about it.

“And?”

“And what?” said Martin pointedly.

“Any regrets?” prompted the reporter.

“Nope. Look, I know you’ve got cameras up the wazoo here, heck you’re probably transmitting this live to your servers as we speak, it might even be on the hypernet already. I don’t want any payment, any deals other than don’t print lies about me or this place. You don’t have anything I want, not any more.”

Martin thought a little, “You know, I think you could do the bravest, best story ever, and you could do it without me.”

“Oh?” There was a hunger in the reporters eyes, Martin could see that. The same hunger he had felt - tempered somewhat by circumstance, but powerful and present all the same. Pickings were slim these days for humans. He had no doubt it would even out in the end, but before then a lot of good people would find themselves without a hoof to stand on.

“You’re in the Conversion Bureau, you figure it out. An inside view, from the horses mouth as it were. Or the pony’s.” Martin looked pointedly towards the sign over the door that said ‘ponification station’.

“How long?” asked Martin, eyes looking past the man in front of him, gaze firmly on the man he used to be not so long ago. With the right kind of eyes, he realised, you could see where the wave broke, and started to roll back, taking so much with it. So much.

“For what?” asked the reporter, unused to being asked questions, much less by a talking pony.

“How long before you’re replaced, like I was? They’ve got botnets now trawling for stories. There’ll always be reporters, but...only the best of the best or the lucky or more likely the cheap few will still be in the game. You could...sidestep all that. Become a pony.”

“But...I like being a human!” said the surprised reporter.

“Maybe, but you’d like a huge story more, wouldn’t you? I’m quite sure reporters are needed in Equestria, and with the right spin on it you could be the biggest news sensation this side of the shield too. The story of a lifetime. All yours. Exclusive. Forever. Nopony’s done it yet, news from the inside, from the front. You don’t want my little old slice of life, even if I were a standard dropout it’s not that big a deal. A few weeks, probably days, and I’ll just be a statistic, but you? A reporter, live from inside fabled Equestria...” Martin had him, he smiled and left, motioning for Spike and Pinkie to follow as the reporter stood up, dropped his camera in the bin and first knocked on and then opened the double doors, where a surprised Twilight was met coming the other way.

Martin swept the floor later that day before bed, he had been the only visitor - Rarity was playing the physiotherapist for him and made him do all manner of menial chores. “After all,” she said, “who’ll be doing them for you when you get to Equestria? You’d better learn now whilst we can still help!”

The staff played the game of “confound these reporters” well; Martin pretended to just be another ordinary pastel talking magical unicorn pony and eventually they lost interest. Dash however did not.

“S-so, er Midnight was it?”

“It’s as good a name as any. I think I’d sound silly as a pony called ‘Martin’ if you ask me.”

“And...now you’re a unicorn.”

“Sorry, Dash, I didn’t get to choose.”

“With....with that rainbow mane and tail though,” she sounded like she was working up to something, “are you sure that...you’re not...inside...a little pegasus?”

“Quite sure.”

“Do you wanna be?”

Martin did a double-take and dropped the brush from his mouth, it fell to the floor with a clatter. Rainbow Dash had the decency to look embarassed.

“Did...did you just...”

“Ohh...did I say it wrong? I...I worked on that for, like, ages. It was in this book and...”

She looked so flustered it made him smile, “Dash, that was quite possibly the corniest pickup line I’ve ever heard!”

“Aww...”

“Dash, I’m...this morning I had two legs. Now I’ve got four. I...it’s not a good time. You’re sweet and when I’ve got used to the idea of...dating a pony...like you...ask again.”

“You know, for an ex-knobbly-kneed monkey type, you’re not too bad lookin’, even if you aren’t a pegasus.” Rainbow zoomed off in a flash muttering to herself, "We all have a little Pegasus in us, Martin! Question is, do you want to be in a little pegasus...that’s what I should’a said...”

***

The Conversion Bureau

Midnight’s Tail

Part 2 - Hoofing It

***

Part 1 - Hitting the Road

Part 2 - Hoofing It

Part 4 - Off the Beaten Track

Part 6 - Epilogue

***

An MLP:FiM fanfic by Midnight Shadow

Thanks to: Chistery, Roy, Blaze, Pride, Peachy Punch and all my readers and editors :3

Set in Blaze’s “Conversion Bureau” universe

***

Midnight rolled out of bed awkwardly and stood up, shaking his great shaggy head to clear it before stumbling over to the mirror to peer bleerily at his reflection. “So,” he said to himself, turning his head left and right, “unicorns have bed-hair too, bed mane I guess I should call it now? And a bad case of it. How am I supposed to brush it?”

Just the day before, Midnight Shadow had been a human calling himself Martin Danielson, then everything had changed with a visit to The Conversion Bureau where talking, magical ponies from Equestria had turned him into a unicorn. Everything was going surprisingly well, but daily realities were setting in.

Midnight put his hoof up to his mouth and breathed on it before inhaling through his two ample nostrils, checking for morning breath. It sent his eyes derping, “Bad morning breath too, huh? They’ve gotta have something for that...”

He examined the room; the bed was a simple yet firm mattress on the floor, there was a single window with venetian blinds and a large, smooth bit for him to bite down on and manipulate now he had no thumbs. The light-switch was a big, nose-level push-button and there were what appeared to be two sinks for washing in. He eyed the fixture he’d thought was a toothbrush holder suspiciously. It was actually a toothbrush.

“Cunning,” he said to himself, “now let’s see...”

He picked up the tube of toothpaste from the larger sink in his mouth and looked at it in the mirror. It had no cap as such, just some sort of one-way valve. He wondered idly how they made them, whether they even had them in Equestria. Wild horses didn’t exactly brush their teeth, did ‘wild’ ponies?

The brush was large and white, a simple yet hopefully effective device. He squeezed some toothpaste onto the bristles after a couple of tries with his lips, and then put the tube back carefully. Gingerly he put the brush in his mouth - it did indeed seem to be a normal toothbrush, fixed to the wall. He whipped his head back and forth carefully and built up a mouth full of foam. He made faces in the mirror trying to check if he’d got everything. It was then he realized there were no taps.

He poked his head out of the dorm-room cautiously, it was early morning and he didn’t want to wake anypony up. Stomping through the dimly-lit complex he heard a familiar noise. Spike snoring in a kitty-basket behind the front desk. He’d been put on timeout since he’d stayed up late one too many times playing computer games and had been forbidden from the teamroom.

“Spike!” hissed Midnight, “Psst! Wake up! SPIKE!” he nudged the dragon with a hoof insistently until the green and purple shape stirred suddenly.

“Wha’? What’s that? Who’s thereaaaAAAARRRRGGHHH!” Spike hiccuped and a green flame shot out of his nostrils, illuminating the room for a brief second.

“Oh..ouch..oh god..I’m blind...” there was a crash and a clatter as the startled Midnight knocked the pens and a potted plant off the desk as he stumbled about from sudden combustion of the eyebrows.

“Martin? What the hell are you..? Why are you rabid?” the baby dragon poked Midnight in the muzzle pointedly.

“I’m not rabid, I was brushing my teeth! And my name’s Midnight now. Midnight Shadow.” he blinked the stars away.

“And? Why are you wandering about in the dark?”

“I can’t find the taps!” he hissed.

“Oh is that all? You woke my nap for that? Newfoals...come on, I’ll help. I guess you want to use the facilities too, huh? Did they show you how to do that even?”

Come to think of it, Midnight did feel a little bit...bloated. He shook his head and blushed a little, sending flecks of foam flying through the air. Spike put his paws on his face and sighed, “Twi wrote the checklist, I made sure that was on it. Why me?”

Back at Midnight’s dormitory, Spike pointed to the smaller of the two sinks, “I would have thought, with that big old brain of yours, you’d have spotted the pressure plate. Just...put your nose in there. Go on, push.”

Midnight did so, and with a sudden gurgle, found water was welling up. He withdrew with a start, and the gurgling stopped. He slurped the water up and gargled...then looked gingerely at Spike.

“The other sink. Surely you didn’t think we put two in by mistake?”

The big sink was just sitting there, in a quietly porcelein way. Midnight spat, and then swirled a second lot of water and spat again, cleaning it. His breath was minty fresh and apart from the scorch marks he was looking good, “I guess the bed-mane will have to wait until Rarity can teach me how to brush it.”

“I can help,” Spike hopped up onto Midnight’s back after grabbing a complimentary hairbrush from the cabinet, “start at the ends down here near the whithers, then move in to the base of the neck, then move up...and repeat...start at the ends...”

“Oohh that’s nice...” Midnight closed his eyes, ears splaying out with happiness, a good brushing was something he’d never thought he’d enjoy. It was like a warm happy feeling spreading all the way down to his hooves.

“Yeah, I always brush Twi’s mane. Rarity’s when she lets me..” said Spike happily, “Ah, Rarity...” Spike brushed extra tenderly, daydreaming.

“...and now it feels weird again. Off.”

Spike pouted, but hopped off, “Okay then, the facilities. This way...”

***

Spike led the way through the complex, and pointed out at the garden, “Most of the staff just heads out ‘round the back. If you do you'll find the place."

“Fragrant?” asked Midnight, arching an eyebrow.

“I’ll say, they grow the biggest flowers with that stuff.”

Midnight stopped for a second, and shook his head, that hadn’t been quite what he’d meant, “Well thanks, but no thanks. I’d prefer to use the indoor facilities if you please.”

“If you say so, down this way then.”

The dragon led the way through the complex, only the sound of hooves echoing through the empty cafeteria until they came to some doors marked ‘staff only’.

“These are the only pony-ready facilities in the joint. I guess I’m lucky, I can make do with the human ones, but you big guys need heavier-duty gear. Not that they use ‘em. It’s through there...there’s never enough ponies at one time to need separate stalls.”

Midnight looked at the doors, there were three - male, female, and pony. Walking in, the place was spotless and looked unused. He remembered it probably was. There was what looked like a urinal on one wall, but it was huge with odd fixtures and a much larger hole than he’d expected.

“This the thing?” he called out to Spike, eyeing it suspiciously.

“Probably! It’s not like I can see it you know!” called the dragon through the door, “You put your butt up against it, get your tail out the way and let fly. It’s got a special...I’m not sure what humans call it...”

With some issues maneuvering, Midnight did so. He felt very, very self-conscious but eventually felt quite relieved, “Now what?” he called out.

“Well...there’s a kind of...button on the floor. Push it -” Spike was about to continue with the words ‘very, very carefully’ when there was a loud, girlish shriek and a wild-eyed Midnight came barrelling out the door, eyes rolling and wide.

“I...tried to warn you.”

“Warn me faster...warn faster next time...and the word you were looking for was bidet...the next pony who gets that treatment may not be so kind...I’m going to go lie down now...” Midnight’s speech was strangely high-pitched and urgent and he was breathing heavily, but at least you could say he was clean, “We shall never speak of this again. Ever.”

As Midnight wobbled unsteadily down the corridor with the dragon once again on his back, the staff members were waking up from all the loud noises. He trotted past them all nonchalantly except for one. On seeing Rarity the unicorn, Midnight stopped with a double-take. Her entire muzzle was green; green mud-like substance covered her up to her ears, and cucumbers were somehow balanced over her eyes. There were curlers.

“I’ll have you know,” said Rarity, as she heard the hoofsteps die away in front of her, “that beauty like this requires work.” and she turned around in a huff and went back to her room, tail and head held high.

“So much for bed.” said Midnight as he noted the corridor rapidly filling with ponies.

“Bed?” asked a friendly voice from behind him, he turned to see a yawning Twilight, “I swear you’re as bad as my Spike.”

“I resent that!” piped up Spike from Midnight’s back.

“If the horse-shoe fits.” said Twilight under her breath, grinning.

“I don’t even wear shoes!” complained Spike, folding his arms across his chest, “Especially not horse-shoes!”

Midnight turned and started walking away, “Come on Spike, I need to do something and I may need your help.”

“Me?” asked the dragon, “What in Equestria do you need me for?”

“Thumbs, just in case. We’re going on a short trip outside.”

***

Midnight and Spike were chattering about the differences between Equestria and Earth - they shared the same space but had very different mores and customs, not that human culture was entirely uniform.

“I’m impressed with your name-choice, Midnight. Very modern of you.”

“Huh? How come?”

“Well, it’s gender neutral, but traditionally related to the moon, and Princess Luna, and...er...well...she’s related to foaling...”

“Are you saying ‘Midnight’ is a girl’s name?”

“I..ah..it’s not quite that simple, I mean...I learn a lot of this from Twilight and her books, and...and...you know, nopony really agrees exactly with all of it, and it’s all down to parental choice and the subtle nuances...” Spike babbled on at length before Midnight stopped him.

“Spike! Is it?”

Spikes ears drooped, “Kinda?”

Midnight sighed, stopping in the harsh morning sunlight, “Really? It’s a girl’s name?”

“Sorry bro.”

He sighed again and continued walking, “Too late to change it, I guess. Anyway, we’re here.”

“Where?” Spike, still ensconced on Midnight’s back, looked all around and up and down, they hadn’t walked far from the centre and seemed to be nowhere special.

“A ‘Hole in the Wall’ as we call them, there’s not too many left these days. Ever since being ponified, my implant stopped working. Without it, I need some other way to access my bank account.” Midnight pointed with his horn at a booth, “These can be voice-activated. I hope it’ll recognize me. If it doesn’t, that’s where you come in. I have a passcode I can try instead but I’m going to have trouble pushing the buttons.”

“Your implant is toast, if it’s still even there,” Spike rolled his eyes and twiddled a claw at his temple, “something about the ponification process knocks ‘em out. Twilight won’t let me get one.”

“I’m not sure you could if she’d let you, they’re made for humans.” he turned the booth, “Station, activate - citizen Danielson, Martin, requesting voice confirm.”

“Voice Ident unsuccessful, Visual Ident unsuccessful.” the machine answered in a smooth, disinterested timbre.

Spike’s mouth dropped open and his eyes shone. For better or worse, the little dragon loved the cool gadgets that populated Earth.

Midnight swore, “er, station, citizen Danielson, Martin has undergone radical...surgery...requesting retinal scan, compensate for size differential, weight differential and voice tone.”

“Scanning...surgical changes compensated for. Pattern matched. Welcome, Citizen.”

“Oh thank goodness. I was thinking we’d have to go to my apartment...” Spike looked entirely too unhappy with the success, thought Midnight, but he didn’t really fancy trying to pull all the seats out of his car and overriding the guidance computer to let them travel with no seatbelts.

“Spike, do you guys have a...an account? I mean I don’t have much but it’s the last thing standing in my way. Call it a token gesture, but I want to step into Equestria shod of my past life.”

“I...I have an account!” said Spike hopefully

“I tell you what, I’ll send you my computer games, IF you promise not to play them past ten at night.”

“Awww...”

“and I’ll sweeten the deal with my sixty-inch flatscreen and the holoprojector.”

“Sweet!”

“I’ll make sure Twilight knows the deal.”

“Well that’s no fair.” grumbled the dragon, crossing his paws over his chest and pouting, a little green flame shooting from his mouth.

Midnight, using his old name and old persona for what he hoped was the last time in his life, closed up shop. He ordered everything useful to the Conversion Bureau sent to their address, liquidated the rest and transferred the funds to the organization behind them. For an entire life’s work, it was distressingly small. In a strange way though, it helped him make that last step. He really wouldn’t be missed. When he turned around, he was surprised to find two men lurking furtively in an alcove of a closed-up shop.

“Gimme yer money.” said one, and the other brandished something that might have been a knife, or a piece of poly-plastic

Midnight was taken aback, he knew things were bad but...that bad? “I...does it look like I have pockets in this thing? I don’t have any money to give to you, what would I do with it?”

“We heard you, pony, shuttling money about. Your Bureaus are loaded. We want some. Give us a few thousand and we’ll reconsider selling your skin.”

“I was getting rid of it and you’re too late, it’s gone.”

Spike tensed on Midnight’s back and stood up, holding on to the unicorn’s mane with one claw and pointing at the nearest speaker, “Buddy, you are messing with the wrong pony. This here is Midnight Shadow. I saw him turn a griffon inside out once when he knocked over his drink and refused to pay for a refill. He was thrown out of a dragon’s gambling den for tearing the wings off my cousin, he only made it alive out because I promised to serve Midnight for a year.”

“This...you...” the men looked less sure of themselves, glancing at each other.

“What the hell are you doing?” hissed Midnight, not taking his eyes off the pair of would-be robbers in front of him. He lowered his horn threateningly, weaving it to and fro.

“Make your horn glow!” hissed Spike in Midnight’s ear.

“What?” whispered Midnight back, heart beating so loud he could barely hear what the dragon had said.

“I said make your horn glow, now!” the dragon turned to the two men again, speaking loudly, “You like having two arms each huh? Well if you don’t get outta here my buddy Midnight’s going to give you wings and a beak - he don’t eat chicken, but I do...”

Midnight concentrated, remembering his tongue, but this time concentrating on a simple light-show. To his immense satisfaction, his horn apparently caught on fire with a green, baleful glow. He gritted his teeth and set his shoulders, mumbling nonsense words under his breath just loud enough for the pair to hear as he eyed both the men. That was enough. They dropped their makeshift weapons and fled. When they were gone, Spike all but fell off laughing, “Oh Midnight that was awesome.”

“Be that as it may, we gotta get out of here incase they come back.” Midnight was almost shaking.

“I suppose I’d better tell Twilight, can’t be having ruffians like that scaring away the customers.”

“Where’d you learn to bluff like that?” Midnight asked as they hot-hoofed it back to the centre.

“Bluff nothing, you could take ‘em, but those stories? Long story itself. Back in Ponyville there was this unicorn filly called Trixie, she liked to show off a lot. One day, Twilight...”

They headed back to the Conversion Bureau, Midnight’s task complete.

***

Before the pair could head through the doors, they were almost bowled over by a blue-and-rainbow blur speeding out the other way, Rainbow Dash had her pilots goggles on and was moving at breakneck speed. She spun around them and did a barrel roll before pulling up short and hovering in front of them, “Oh dammit!” Dash looked conspiratorially left and right, “You...you won’t tell on me will you? I’ve been cooped up in there for days and my wings are gonna shrivel off if I don’t see some action! Tell Twi’ ya missed me. Later stud.” She disappeared into the air humming, “getting off the reservation, yeah-la la la laaa la...skippin’ out on Twilight, oh-yeah haha haa haa...”

Midnight and Spike exchanged glances and headed in.

“Did you see Rainbow Dash?” asked Rarity, innocently, once again working at the reception, “we sent her out to find you, you were getting distressingly close to missing your appointment.”

“I...er...must’ve missed her.”

“There are lots of windows you know,” said Twilight with a smug smile, “but we don’t need Dash, we need you. Celestia wants to see you and you need to start your orientation.”

“What’s a Celestia?”

Twilight hung her head, “Nopony told him? Anypony? No? I swear, first and last time...Celestia. Princess Celestia. She’s our ruler.”

“Wait...I thought I heard Princess Luna mentioned? Don’t you have a queen?”

“No, we don’t have any queens. Just two princesses. Celestia is the elder of the two and raises the sun every morning. Luna is the younger, and raises the moon.”

“But...the sun and moon...” Midnight made circular motions with his hooves.

“It’s complicated,” said Twilight finally, “but more importantly, you’ll be late if you don’t get ready now.”

“Late for what?” Midnight stepped backwards, unsure at all the sudden smiles.

“You’re being shipped outta here, silly! To Equestria!” Pinkie bounced in, “As much as we just love having a newfoal around, our replacements are coming and we’re starting to get enquiries.” Pinkie bounced happily again, and then skidded to a stop, “The only problem is I never had the chance for a party.”

“Aww, Pinkie Pie, we can party some other time, I’m sure.”

“Oh that’s right! You’re headed to Ponyville! I shouldn’t have looked but I peeked! Promise you’ll stay long enough? I get a week off of greeting newfoals and arranging rebirthday parties and stuff and I’d just love a chance to give you a party too!”

Midnight wasn’t sure he could withstand that much party, but he nodded. Rarity was next saying goodbye. She simply gave him a quick neck-hug and sniffed quietly. Pinkie Pie kissed him on the nose and Fluttershy squeaked something that sounded like ‘goodbye’. Spike hugged a leg, and scampered off.

“I know Dash’ll be mad, but she made her choice.” said Twilight, sadly.

“You shouldn’t keep her cooped up here that much, Twilight,” said Midnight gently, remembering the glow the pegasus had had when flitting about freely in the air, “we each need to be in our own element.”

“If you’ve learnt that, Midnight, then you really do need to visit Equestria. Come on, out the back to the loading bay. Follow me please. Our other convert is already waiting.”

“Other convert? Bu-but I thought I was the first one?”

“You were, but not the only. We just finished with him.”

“Him? Oh no, you didn’t...he didn’t...”

“They did. Check it out I’m a pony! I don’t get why I like it, but I like it! And double-check it, cutie-mark!”

Midnight looked, there on the flank of the light-brown earth pony with the dark-brown mane and dark, deep eyes, was a fedora. A fedora with an old-fashioned press-pass sticking out the brim no less. It was then that something clicked; stars, balloons, lightning bolts, butterflies - they all had marks on their flanks. He turned to his own in disappointment, he was still the same blank dark purple-blue he had been before, “but...how...”

“We don’t know, to be honest. I’ve never seen another newfoal pop out with a cutie-mark. Some don’t take long, but this guy...it was just there.”

“That’s obvious,” said the pony, “a pony’s cutie-mark reflects his life’s ambition, his life’s work.”

“And you know what yours is.” said Midnight, raising an eyebrow and flicking his ears.

“Damn straight, kid. I’m a reporter. Always was, always will be. funny thing though, they haven’t made these things in...it’s gotta be close on a hundred years?” He pointed with his hoof at the fedora and then back at Twilight, “did I put it there? Did they?”

Twilight smiled, “Something to ask when you get to Equestria. Your carriage awaits.”

A large animal-transport truck pulled up, belching smoke. It was a diesel, converted long ago to run on bio-fuel but never really patched up. Diesel was cheap and easy to produce; for all the laws enacted around consumer vehicles, diesel was one of the few remaining fuels able to cope with long haul trips with significant freight.

When the engine turned off, the large, sturdy tailgate was eased down and in the murky darkness was heard a stamping of hooves and the swishing of tails, “I know it’s not the best, but...we’re trying to make you incognito for as long as possible. Newfoals are still rare enough that you could get swamped. Just your car being parked here the other day, Midnight, was enough to alert the local media...they must have had a...thingy...”

“A botnet?” asked Midnight, glancing at the earth pony, who nodded imperceptibly.

“One of them things. As much as we’re pleased you decided to join us, we want your transition to be smooth - and being mobbed at every rest-stop between here and Equestria won’t do at all.”

“So we’re travelling with normal terran ponies?”

“We’re not all normal terran ponies in here.” came a new voice, and a yellowish-orange pegasus pony stepped carefully out of the back of the truck, stretching her wings, her dark red mane and tail glistening in the light, the orange streaks catching in the sun, “Hi! Are you two both newfoals like me and Ad..I mean Cobalt, here? I mean it’s pretty hard to tell.”

A dark-grey, slate-grey even, earth-pony with a jet black mane and deep hazel-brown eyes also stepped into the light, looking around with interest. It soon faded when he realised that one loading bay was much like the other. Midnight noted that neither had cutie-marks, it made him feel a little bit better. He had started to feel awkward being the only one with a blank flank.

“Cobalt?” asked Midnight, snapping out of his reverie, “but...you’re not blue.”

Cobalt gave Midnight an embarassed look and stomped back into the truck, “I thought it was neat.” he said from the shadows.

“Come on, let’s move out.”

Midnight, the reporter who still hadn’t given his name, if he even has one yet, mister ‘I got a cutie-mark in ten seconds flat’, thought Midnight to himself, and the two new ponies made themselves as comfortable as possible on the ample straw in the close, equine-filled darkness and tried to relax as the vehicle moved off.

The Conversion Bureau

Midnight’s Tail

Part 3 - Four by Four, Four on the Floor

***

Part 1 - Hitting the Road

Part 2 - Hoofing It

Part 3 - Four by Four, Four on the Floor

Part 4 - Off the Beaten Track

Part 6 - Epilogue

***

An MLP:FiM fanfic by Midnight Shadow

Thanks to: Chistery, Roy, Blaze, Pride, Peachy Punch and all my readers and editors :3

Set in Blaze’s “Conversion Bureau” universe

***

“We’re on the road again, travellin’ places that we’ve never been...” sang Peachy Punch tunelessly as she looked out the back of the truck wistfully.

“Oh shush.” said Cobalt, “you’ve been reciting that damn ditty for the last three hours straight.”

“You’re only mad, Cobalt,” said Peachy, “because you don’t know the words.”

“Neither do you! And maybe my name’s not Cobalt any more. Maybe it’s...maybe it’s...”

“Come on guys,” said Midnight, “we’re all ponies here. No need to be at each other’s throats.”

Peachy Punch hummed the same tune, or tried to, until Cobalt stared at her. She stuck her tongue out, “I’m just so bored,” said Peachy, “I want to stretch my wings! I want to feel grass beneath my hooves, not filthy straw.”

“It wouldn’t be filthy if you could contain yourself!” hissed Cobalt.

“Hey! It’s not my fault I get car-sick! Besides, it’s not all me, it’s those...those natives over there. They don’t seem to care where they go...”

“They’ve never had to,” mused Midnight, “it’s not like you can blame them. I don’t think it matters so much to Equestrians either.”

“Well forgive me if I don’t just-”

“My little ponies! You’re at it again! Chill! Why can’t you be more like mister frontpage over there?” Midnight pointed with a hoof at the reporter, so far nameless, who was snoring loudly curled up like he’d been a pony all his life.

“Because I hate car rides, I hate hay and I hate ponies.” grumped Cobalt.

Midnight blinked, even Peachy Punch looked upset, “but...why? Why did you go through with ponification if you hate ponies?”

Cobalt looked at the ground as the truck swayed and mumbled something.

“I...I didn’t quite hear that.” Midnight said.

“I don’t hate ponies, okay! I said being an earth pony sucks! I don’t get wings, I don’t get magic. I lost my thumbs. What the hell does that make me?”

“It makes you a pony, dude. A pony like the rest of us. Whatever makes you you, it made you an earth-pony. I mean come on, you’re gorgeous!” said Peachy Punch, before realising what she’d said and blushing furiously, “I mean...”

“You really think so?” asked Cobalt, looking himself over.

“I mean, sure...the lights pretty bad in here so that may have something to do with i- OW!”

Midnight flicked Peachy with his tail, “Tell him the truth.”

Peachy looked intently at the ceiling, then the walls, then swirled a hoof around idly and mumbled, “You...you look pretty neat. For a pony. Which I am too, and, uh...”

Cobalt opened his mouth to say something, and then shut it again. He finally bent his head to one of the water troughs and took a loud slurp trying to hide the blush. Just then the van rocked to a stop and Cobalt ended up coughing and spluttering. After a few moments of the engine being shut off and the doors opened and slammed, the rear tail-gate was let down and daylight flooded the compartment.

“You guys want to come out? Stretch your legs? Union rules when transporting livestock - sorry - we have a half hour break every few hours. If you think you can get yourselves and the other ponies back in you can come out for a trot around the corral.”

Midnight was the first to poke his head out, joined pretty quickly by Peachy Punch and Cobalt. It was getting crowded on the loader-ramp so Midnight turned, to find a whole stampede of ponies rushing towards him. He flinched and suddenly there was a bright blue flash. What appeared to be a soap-bubble surrounded the trio of pastel ponies, and the normal ponies which were rushing past were flowing around them harmlessly. It was over in seconds and the soap-bubble burst, Midnight fell to his knees breathing heavily.

“What was..? How did you..? What did you do?”

“I...I don’t know! I’m a unicorn, I did magic, I guess! I...I just...did it. They were coming right for us and I panicked...”

Cobalt cocked his head, “What does it feel like?”

Midnight licked his lips and peered at his horn, eyes crossing, “Like a headache that doesn’t hurt. Like pumping iron, sort of. It’s...kind of like a hand you don’t have, you can feel what it does but not what it is.” He stood up again, breathing heavily, he felt very strange and right now needed nothing more than breathing space.

“You okay?” asked Peachy Punch, nudging the dazed unicorn with a hoof.

“Yeah, I’m just pooped. I don’t think I’m cut out for doing magic. It feels like I just ran a marathon.”

“But unicorns...don’t they do magic all the time?”

“I dunno, I get the feeling only some of us are good at magic magic, like only if it’s your talent, your cutie-mark you know? The rest of us...I think it’s just a sideline.”

“That’s stupid,” said Peachy Punch, “that’s like a pegasus that can’t fly.”

“No, no, he’s got a point,” said Cobalt, tapping his mouth with a hoof, “humans can all run, right? But very few of them are olympic sprinters or joggers. Flying is what you do if you’re a pegasus, magic is what you are when you’re a unicorn. Or something.”

“Guess we’re not so different then, huh? Peachy’s the lucky one, she can fly.”

“I wish. I got flight-school one-oh-one but I’m still a newfoal.”

“Can I quote you guys on that?” asked the reporter-pony, looking disgustingly well rested and collected as he walked up behind them.

Midnight snorted, “already out to score the big scoop huh?”

The reporter rolled his eyes, “Don’t be so cynical, this was all your idea, if you recall. My life is the big scoop! This is fantastic! I love being a pony!”

The reporter whinnied happily and galloped flat-out into the fenced-off field where he shot off at breakneck speed around the perimeter, causing another mini-stampede with the ‘normal’ ponies.

“I think I hate him.” said Midnight, scowling, jealous of the ease with which the reporter was taking to having hooves and a tail.

“Cheer up, sport,” said Peachy Punch, flicking her tail at him and grinning, “kick back a little, stretch your legs. You’re too busy brooding if you ask me. You’re a pony now! You can eat grass, run like the wind, live where you please.” Peachy trotted off happily, bucking her hind hooves and flicking her tail and wings with laughter, finally chasing after the reporter for the fun of it. Spreading her wings she hopped and skipped into the air experimentally, bouncing off the fence and almost crashing into the ground before recovering and trying again. Midnight smiled despite himself.

“She’s something, ain’t she?” asked Cobalt

“Mmmhm.” said Midnight, not really listening.

“You think somepony like her could...like somepony like me?”

“I..wait, what? She’s a pony!”

Cobalt snorted and flicked a tail. Midnight’s rump was getting sore from all the attention, “If you haven’t noticed, so am I. So are you! Those slim legs...such dainty hooves. And her wings...I could get lost in those wings. But...do pegasus and earth-ponies..?”

Midnight blinked, “I...I guess so? I mean there was this pegasus, back at the bureau...Rainbow something. Same hair as mine. She was pretty cute.”

“You sly dog. What happened?”

Midnight blushed, “I...I kinda turned her down. It felt weird, thinking about a pony like that...”

“You’re going to be one lonely pony if you don’t get over it. Come on, I’ll race ya.”

They ran. They raced. They bucked. It was great to be out in the fresh air. It amused them no end that it was the humans that had to clean out their stalls whilst they had to do naught but run and play in the sunshine. They finally stopped, as a group, just standing and watching the world go by in the few minutes they had left. The reporter dropped his head to the side of the enclosure and cropped at some grass.

“Eew...” said Midnight.

“Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it,” said the reporter, “it’s pretty good, I doubt the lead content will hurt.”

“I’ll take your word for it, uh...say, what do we call you anyway?”

The reporter chewed thoughtfully and swallowed, “I haven’t come up with a name yet. Whatever it is...bam...frontpage. Above the fold.”

“Frontpage?” asked Peachy Punch, trotting closer, “Suits you.”

“That’s not what I meant!”

“Suits you though.”

“Frontpage? Frontpage. Huh. Well alrighty then.”

They mingled, Midnight couldn’t help but notice that Cobalt was keeping the other natives - their word for normal Terran ponies - away from Peachy. He wasn’t sure if Cobalt knew it himself yet, but a small smile played on his lips.

“Look Daddy! Horsies!” came a voice, a small girl, maybe six, maybe seven - Midnight realised he was finding it hard to judge ages in humans, not that he’d ever been good at it.

“You wanna go see the horsies, princess?” asked a gruff voice, and Midnight watched as a heavy-set man gently pushed his little girl towards the fence separating their world from his. She had a bunch of weeds - no, tasty hors d’oeuvres he corrected himself - and was hopefully holding them out, trying to catch the attention of the wary natives whilst he watched with less than half an eye. Midnight wandered over thoughtfully, it was strange, like looking in a fun-house mirror. She smiled and waved them at him. He bent carefully and plucked a few from her unresisting fingers, chewing slowly.

Neither she nor her father realised what the ponies really were despite his odd colouration and pearly horn, Midnight guessed that the ponies from Equestria just weren’t common enough yet for the pair to put two and two together, but still...

“Buh bye pony!” called the girl and stroked Midnight’s nose. He nickered softly as the pair left, the daughter hoisted onto her father’s shoulders. Midnight waved a hoof goodbye, the girl’s eyes went round as saucers, but Midnight turned quickly with a grin and trotted away before she could alert her father.

Midnight trotted back to the van where the other ponies were following Cobalt, who had somehow managed to make himself their de-facto herd-leader despite his obvious disdain for them. Midnight laughed to himself as the tail-gate was raised and the great heavy engine started up again. With a final two slaps on the back from the navigator, they were off.

They made several stops and drove on into the night. It was tiring, it was cramped - he was sure it would have been worse on any other load with natives - and they had little to pass the time. Not even tying the strings from bales of hay to the walls to create makeshift instruments couldn’t relieve the boredom.

Finally they stopped for the night, they were about an hour from their destination but union rules were union rules, and backed up by union people. Things would get ugly if rules weren’t stuck to, so they pulled over.

Peachy had had enough of the van. Cobalt, with a streak of chivalry a mile wide, decided to sleep outside with her. Midnight was jealous, both of them had the hang of the whole ‘sleeping standing up’ deal. He didn’t know how they managed it. It irked him even more that Frontpage just curled up without a second thought and drifted off.

Insomnia. He hated it. He’d spent the whole day doing nothing. That was the problem. He’d not imagined that ponies could have the same problem.

“Maybe I’ll just...go for a run. Yeah. S’not cold, air quality is better near the coast...”

He clopped carefully down the ramp and ambled past the herd. Cobalt and Peachy seemed to be sleeping with their necks entwined, Peachy’s wing over the earth-pony somewhat protectively. Midnight snorted, just as long as none of the natives followed him he’d be fine. The ones that weren’t dozing didn’t seem too interested. Herdmind behaviour had them, breaking from the group was a taboo.

Further into the countryside was just scrub and brushland, the moon wasn’t full but the sky was clear. He picked up his pace, from a basic trot, to a canter and finally to a full gallop. As his hooves flew over the uneven ground he exulted in a sense of freedom he’d never experienced before. Why, he wondered to himself, had he never felt like this before? His friends had often spoken of just how good they felt after a run. He hadn’t believed them. Now, grudgingly, he did.

When he ran out of scrub and found himself nearing another road he reluctantly slowed back down to a walk. He was breathing heavily but wasn’t winded. He felt alive, he felt-

His ears pricked up, something was wrong. He trotted up and down the roadside, out of sight of the traffic, flashing his tail unconsciously. He couldn’t get the idea out of his head that something or someone was...

A rope flashed out of the darkness and looped over his head, pulling tight against his neck. He reared up instinctively and kicked first his front legs and then hind hooves as he pulled against the taught cable. He was caught fast! He pulled hard, hard as he could, but it only tightened the noose. It wasn’t strangling him, not that it mattered through his panic, but it was restricting his breathing. He saw stars, stumbled, fell. In moments they were on him, three men - he assumed they were men from their deep voices - holding him down, fighting to keep his legs in check as a fourth, the rope-wielder, made a quick but effective bridle. They hobbled him with two more ropes and then a greasy hand twisted his ear and a harsh voice said, “I’m going to get off now, trigger, and you’re going to get up, real slow and easy.”

They did so and, awkwardly, Midnight got to his feet. He hadn’t spoken yet, but they forced his hoof.

“We’re going to take a little walk, just the five of us. We’ve got a van waiting that’s big enough for you and your other little friend we found all alone in that big old trailer.”

“You better not hurt him,” said Midnight, clearing his throat, “You must know what this horn means. I can turn you inside out at a moments notice.”

The man stopped and turned, flashing a piece in the moonlight secreted in a jacket pocket, “a moment’s all I’ll need to put a bullet through your brain.”

“Just so we understand each other,” Midnight gambled, “it’s just me an him with a bunch of natives, hiding us out on the way to Equestria, trying to avoid people like you obviously.”

“Aye, we got your friend. You didn’t do too good a job.”

They walked him slowly and carefully, surrounded on all sides by a solemn quiet figure, until they reached a van much like the one he’d been travelling in, but a good deal smaller. Just about big enough for two full-sized horses, or two ponies and two guards. Midnight flicked his tail in anger as he noted Frontpage - that’s who he assumed it was in the now near-pitch black night lit only occasionally by passing cars and a very dim flashlight brandished by one of the thugs - hobbled, hooded and tied to a stumpy tree.

“FP, it’s me, we’re safe...kinda.”

“Midnight, that you?”

“Yeah, they got me too. They left the natives all back there, it was us two they wanted.” he prayed Frontpage would get the hint and not mention the other two transformees.

“That’s right my little ponies, and now the whole gang is here we’re going to move very slowly and carefully into the van. Don’t make with any funny stuff, you got me?”

“Crystal,” said Frontpage, “I’ve been taken hostage before. I know the drill. We’ll co-operate, for now. Where are you taking us?”

“If you don’t shut up it’ll be the glue factory, but you’re in luck. We want to go to Equestria.”

Midnight blinked, he’d had the short, short version of the talk from Twilight Sparkle the purple unicorn the day before, and whilst it seemed like forever ago the memory was still fresh and clear. Humans couldn’t go to Equestria, it just wasn’t possible. Didn’t these idiots know that?

“Now now, I’ve heard all the talk about the shield, keeping us out, but the way I see it that’s bullshit. They’ve given you a code to let you in, some way to lower the shield. We want it. I hear there’s gold in ancient dragon’s caves, diamonds in the rivers, riches just for the taking, you damned ponies don’t need any of it, and we want our fair share.”

Midnight thought quickly and opened his mouth, but Frontpage beat him to it, “How...how did you know about the code? We, we weren’t supposed to tell it to anypony! It’s a secret!”

“Oh we have our ways,” said the ringleader, signaling to his men to finish up and move out. By now the two ponies were in the trailer-section, cowering on the floor, still hobbled and Frontpage atleast was hooded, unable to see. The van moved off at speed, into the night.

Not much was being said. Every so often Midnight would touch Frontpage with a mouth to his mane to let him know he was still there, and the earth pony would flick a tail in response. The men behind them were sat down, warily watching the two pastel equines.

Midnight tried to engage them in conversation, all the while listening out for rescue, “How do you plan to get to Equestria? I mean it’s...it’s way out in the ocean! That shield is the only non-guarded and perfect no-fly-zone on the planet. It even screws with our satellites since it’s grown so big.”

“Quiet, we don’t fraternize with livestock.”

“You’ll have to if you want that code,” said Frontpage, lifting his head blindly and staring about through the blindfold, attempting to catch even a glimpse of his captors, “We can’t just give it to you, and they’ll know if we’re harmed or injured. You touch us, you’ll never get in.”

“That’s as maybe, but we’re almost there. No funny business. You transmit that code, we slip through, and maybe we’ll let you live.”

“Just...just don’t hurt us.” said Frontpage.

The van sped up, “We’re close, boss.” said the driver, leaning to the grill, “first roadblock’s ahead.”

“Good, it guarded?”

“Naa, those dumb fuckers don’t bother. Sweetness and light, they are.”

The van rocked as it broke through a flimsy barrier. Midnight twitched. He was a unicorn, for all he was a newfoal. The barrier was big, quite possibly the biggest single force of magic on the planet, and they were drawing ever closer with every second. His heart began to tingle, an uncomfortable feeling like static washed over him, he could swear his fur was standing on end and wouldn’t have been surprised had blue sparks shot from his nostrils.

“Guys, stop...I...I can’t get you through the shield.”

There was a second crash and the van lurched, they’d gone over wheel-spikes, puncturing the tyres. The van began to lurch left and right, throwing the two ponies about.

“What the fuck do you mean, metwurst? Are you fucking us about?”

“I mean there’s no fucking code, man, it’s bullshit. I can’t take you through.”

“You’ll take us, or your friend is dogmeat.”

Midnight gasped, “No! No! Please! Okay, okay!” he was frantic now, the triumphant look on the thug’s face as he brandished the firearm was manic, he was capable of anything. Midnight took a deep breath, “Okay Frontpage, just like we rehearsed it. I...I’ll do the opening spell, okay? You have to help me...I...I’m going to start glowing now, that’s normal, it-it’s the spell, doing it’s thing.”

The uncomfortable static-cling feeling was making him feel sick and nauseous, but he welcomed it. With every passing second they neared the shield, he would have to be quick enough but not too quick. He closed his eyes and started concentrating, breathing deep. Just remember, he told himself, remember what it was like in the van before, with the stampede. His horn started glowing, which elucidated a string of swear words and a gun cocking.

“Please stop,” said Midnight, straining, “I told you, this is normal. What can I possibly do to you, huh? You’re sitting there with a gun...”

Please, please, please, thought Midnight, let me be right. Aloud, he said, “Okay Frontpage, close your eyes, this is going to get a bit bumpy...”

Push the field, feel the invislble hand, reach out, take a breath, push more... it was quite unlike anything he had ever done before, and he wasn’t sure he could make it last long enough, he had no idea how far away they were, how fast they were travelling, quite what would...

He gasped almost in pain, the shield, that mammoth magical construct was mere metres away, “hold on Frontpage, the shit’s about to hit-”

The van lurched and Midnight instinctively squeezed his eyes tight shut as inside his head fireworks went off. It felt like the world was turned inside out as the van intercepted the leading edge of the shield. It took him a few moments to realize that the vertigo wasn’t all his imagination as four hollow explosions rocked the van and he felt it tip over at speed, tumbling through the air with a sickening velocity. He and Frontpage were thrown roughly around and around as the van tumbled, his magical shield somewhat protecting them from the worst of the impacts as finally, mercifully, the van came to rest on it’s side with a solid and final-sounding crunch. The strength left the dazed unicorn and his shield flickered and failed, and he passed out.

Nopony moved for a good ten seconds, there were no sounds from the wrecked van but ragged breathing in the strangely foggy, wet air before the earth pony called out, “Midnight? You alive?”

“I don’t think it’d hurt this much if I weren’t.”

“I think we’ve stopped. I can’t see, what did you do?” Frontpage was struggling to get up in the strangely slick, topsy-turvy world of semi-darkness.

“Magic, I did magic,” said the exhausted unicorn, “I can barely move, I’d hoped it would have gotten easier...ow...I think I cracked a rib...”

“Can you get this hood off?”

“I can try...”

Midnight bit at the cloth, ripped and pulled until the earth-pony got himself free. He whistled through his teeth, “Keep your eyes closed and breath carefully through your nose, I’ll get us out.”

The van was wrecked and ominously silent. The inside of the van was strangely slick and warm, like sitting in a steam room - only cooler. Frontpage felt his hooves slipping and sliding as they lacked purchase, but he finally found the back door of the van and using lips but grimacing at the wet, lukewarm metallic taste, he tried to ease back the bolts. They wouldn’t budge so he set himself as firmly as he could and bucked until something gave, whereupon he forced himself out into the faint sunlight of early morning, turning around and pulling Midnight by the rope between his backlegs until he too fell out into the road.

Midnight spat and opened his eyes. For a brief moment his vision settled on the inside of their recent mobile prison before turned his head and retched.

“Get...let’s get this shit off, let’s get away from here.”

When Midnight felt he could stomach the sight, he did so, not using magic - he wasn’t sure if he could right now - instead his horn and teeth to tear off the now-slick ropes.

The inside of the van was red, like it had been spray-painted with ketchup, more oozing through the badly-dented partition wall between the drivers’ compartment and the stock compartment. The rear walls were dented also, like two large objects had impacted the walls and ceiling.

“that’s them, isn’t it?”

Midnight, turning green, said softly, “I think so. The shield’s not just for show. It let us through, it let the van through...”

“But not the humans.”

When the van had barrelled through the barrier, it had done its job simply and effectively. No living human could pass through the barrier. The van hadn’t been so impeded, neither had the ponies, and finally it came down to a classic application of force. When the hapless humans had attempted to gain entry, the shield had resisted their forward motion and the van hadn’t let them stop. The result was chunky human salsa, and the two ponies were covered in it. Midnight threw up again and dropped to his knees, spitting the taste of blood and pureed person out. The uncomfortably-warm concoction was rapidly starting to smell like a charnel house, not to mention cool off and mat his fur.

“I’ve...I’ve gotta get this off...oh shit...oh fuck me...” Midnight was beginning to hyperventilate, which didn’t help.

“Shh, Midnight, calm, calm down. It’s okay, you did what you had to do. You tried to warn them and you couldn’t have stopped either them or the shield. It’ll be a short walk down the road to the beach if I remember the route they showed us, it’s not far, come on, you can make it.”

Midnight got up, breathing hard, unsteady on legs that felt like rubber, slick with gore, and the pair walked down the hill around the short bend in the road. The hill was steep and ended rather abruptly with the sound of surf. The water was cold but not freezing as they waded in, submerging themselves in the ocean, renewing their spirits as it washed off their pelts.

Midnight stepped out and shook himself dry to stand shivering and steaming in the early morning sun, his first sunrise in Equestria. He just wished it hadn’t taken a blood sacrifice to make it a reality. He idly wondered where Peachy and Cobalt were, they were going to be frantic...

The Conversion Bureau

Midnight’s Tail

Part 4 - Off the Beaten Track

***

Part 1 - Hitting the Road

Part 2 - Hoofing It

Part 4 - Off the Beaten Track

Part 6 - Epilogue

Thanks to: Chistery, Roy, Blaze, Pride, Peachy Punch and all my readers and editors :3

Set in Blaze’s “Conversion Bureau” universe

Author’s Note: This chapter has some ruminations on the nature of Equestria and the Shield. I feel it necessary to potentially diverge from Blaze’s universe here (I don’t know if it’s canon because it’s never been addressed). Just an FYI. It’s also shorter than the others, sorry!

PPS: please tell me if you find spelling or grammar mistakes...

***

Peachy groaned and shook her head at the insistent prodding, opening tired eyes and blinking them several times. It wasn’t even morning! It was pitch black!

“Wha’? What?”

“Wake up, lass, we’ve got problems. You too my good pony.” The voice was one of the two drivers, carrying a lantern and gingerly yet insistently shaking Cobalt until he too woke up from his slumber. Peachy stretched her wings right out, and then her forehooves and back legs one by one, followed by her tail. She creaked. Sleeping upright was going to take some getting used to. Then her brain registered what she was being told, “Wait, problems? What problems?”

“Your two friends are gone, but I don’t think they went for a walkabout.”

“Gone? Whaddaya mean ‘gone’?”

Cobalt blinked in the lantern-light and trotted over to the van, sniffing, “I’m no bloodhound, but there were humans here, in addition to you two.” added Cobalt,

“You can smell that?” asked Peachy, raising an eyebrow.

“Nope. I can feel the tracks. Just one of the advantages of no shoes. It’s quite muddy here thanks to the natives.”

“Oh shit...what do we do? I mean, they can’t be horse-rustlers! They’d have taken everypony! You...you two,” Peachy waved a hoof at the driver and then at the van, where another shape was on the radio.

“Bud,” said the man, “and my little brother Larry.”

“Bud, thanks, did you see anything?”

“I didn’t see anything, I was asleep in the cab, ponies make quite a lot of noise, I didn’t think nothing of it at first. Whoever it was, they were pretty quick and silent, and they knew what they were after.”

“They didn’t get me and Cobalt...”

“I don’t know, maybe they didn’t know you were there. Maybe they expected ponies like you to sleep inside.”

“I’ll get the natives, guys, they seem to like me.” said Cobalt, and he set off coralling the ponies. Peachy went with Bud to talk to Larry.

“...That’s affirmative, we have a situation here. Get Central to take a peek into the traffic tonight, see if it can dredge anything local that looks odd...yes, comms are up, I see it updating now...” Larry was talking to the hands-free and punching keys on a laptop mounted on the dashboard, it doubled as a GPS routing device as well as the communications station for the archaic vehicle they were using.

Peachy craned her neck to see, but Bud pulled down a wheelchair access ramp and gestured to it. With a flutter of feathers, Peachy found herself rising into the air up to the cabin. She stepped in gingerly with a clatter of hooves, her bulk just about fitting in the space. Poking her muzzle through the middle, she could see out and see the screen, “What’s that dot?”

“That dot, Miss, is a suspicious horse-trailer that’s been empty up until now. Central reckons it took on either one large horse or two smaller ponies very recently, very near to us.”

“Midnight and Frontpage!”

“That your two friends?”

“Indeed. I’m Peachy Punch by the way, shake!” Peachy held out a hoof which the driver smiled at and took immediately, “that’s Cobalt back there.”

Two solid bangs came from the back, and Cobalt called, “They’re all in, close the hatch!”

Bud pushed a button and the ramp lifted up, Larry went around the back to secure it. A few moments later he hopped back up into the cabin and Bud started the engine.

A smile lit up Peachy’s face as she started humming, “We’re on the road again, dum de dum de dum, travelling places that I’ve never been...”

Larry laughed, “That’s not how it goes...hang on...”

The van lit up with the stirring tones of Willie Nelson at the push of a button,

On the road again -

Just can't wait to get on the road again.

The life I love is making music with my friends

And I can't wait to get on the road again.

On the road again,

Goin' places that I've never been.

Seein' things that I may never see again..

Peachy’s eyes lit up, “I haven’t heard this in forever!”

The pair sang in an awful off-key rendition barely in time with the music as Bud took them out onto the highway as urgently as possible, crooning face to muzzle the final lines and laughing heartily.

“We needed some travelling music on this excellent adventure. Now, let’s see where our friends are going...”

“Looks like the shield, what in tarnation are they up to?”

“I don’t know, but we’re not going to be able to catch them before they hit it.”

The chase sped on towards the coast, and the morning.

***

Midnight was still shaking himself dry when a cry came from above, “LOOK OUT BELOW!”

A yellow-orange streak of colour with a red mane and tail was whirring two wings inexpertly as fast as she could. Flying didn’t seem to be a problem, as such, but landings looked to be difficult.

Midnight ducked instinctively as the large four-legged, two-winged shape dropped out of the sky like a brick and impacted with the water, hooves first. A great wave splashed over both Midnight and Frontpage. Midnight spat the salt water out and sighed, he’d almost been dry. Stepping back in to the frigid waters, he headed for the coughing, spluttering shape. He gripped a wing firmly but carefully in his teeth and pulled steadily towards the shore until the half-drowned pegasus could stand, where she hopped out and shook herself dry.

Midnight sighed again, and shook his head to get the water out of his ears. Again. Peachy had the good manners to look slightly recalcitrant at least.

She spoke, “What happened to you guys? One minute Cobalt and I were asleep and the next thing I know I’m being shaken awake by our drivers - they’re Bud and Larry by the way, funny how I never thought to get their names earlier...”

“We were kidnapped, Peachy, damn fools wanted to get to Equestria. Without ponification. Where’s Cobalt?”

As if in answer, with a clatter of hooves, the slate-grey earth-pony rounded the bend and barely stopped short in a cloud of dust, breathing hard, covered in sweat but otherwise none the worse for wear, “Midnight, Frontpage, you two okay?”

Midnight shook his head in awe, “I want to know how you found us, how you got here so fast! It was pitch black!”

Peachy Punch smiled, “I guess human technology is good for some stuff eh? Whoever those guys were they weren’t very intelligent. Larry just asked the road system for any vehicles capable of transporting horses or ponies in the area and lucked out! I was sure that was you. We double-timed it until the shield and then they sent me an’ Cobalt for recon. I...I hadda fly! Hey holy shit I was flying! I didn’t even think! I just went for it!”

“You still don’t have landings down yet though, huh?” Frontpage grinned.

Peachy looked embarassed, Cobalt spoke up, “She’ll get them, just like Midnight his magic. What happened? I saw the wreck on the way down...”

Peachy breathlessly explained about their trip, about how they’d found the tracks, located what they sincerely hoped was the kidnappers and Midnight and Frontpage, and finally about how she and Cobalt had been sent through the shield once they’d reached it.

The four were walking back up the hill, Midnight pointed to the van with it’s interesting interior decour, “That’s where they ended up.”

Cobalt and Peachy both made faces, Midnight shook his head sadly, “Suffice to say they wont be bothering us any more. Well here we are, the shield’s just ahead, I can see our two friends leaning on it.”

Peachy looked with wide eyes at the empty air and then back to Midnight before trotting forwards and waving her hooves in the air experimentally, “You can see the shield?”

Midnight nodded, “Yeah, can’t you? I thought...I thought everypony could see it?”

“Maybe it’s just unicorns. Maybe it’s just you. Where is it?”

Midnight trotted past Peachy, who blushed and stopped waving her hoof about in the air as he stopped just shy of the border. It was so large that it almost seemed to go directly up, a shimmering wall that looked somewhat like a soap-bubble, fragile and indistinct as if it would burst at any moment. He knew differently; to those things not able to pass through it, it was an impenetrable barrier. Two men with a familiar van were on the other side, leaning against it.

“How are they...ooohhh, that looks freaky.’

“Not from where I’m standing,” said Midnight, “but I guess it looks weird to you. Guys! We must have given you quite the scare!”

They straightened and waved happily at the sight of all four of their charges. Bud, the eldest of the two, touched his hand to a cap, “Aye that you did. Twilight would’ve given us hell if we’d lost any of you. Made it safely then?”

“We did, thank you gentlemen.”

Midnight and Frontpage explained, pointing back down the hill, about what had happened. It was mercifully out of sight but they wondered if it would ever be out of mind.

“What are you going to say to the authorities? I don’t want anything to cause trouble none for...for later.” said Bud finally.

“I’ll make sure to praise your swift actions. You weren’t to know and I don’t want this to happen again with less favourable results.” Midnight did a double take, “Say, what keeps you two on two legs?”

“Me? I made a promise to my ma and pa to look after my li’l bro here.”

“And I want to see more of the world before I leave it,” said the other, smiling, “best damn job in the world taking you li’l critters to Equestria. One day I’ll see it fer myself, but until I’m ready, we’ll keep helping those who are.”

***

The van had driven off to it’s next destination, Midnight just hoped that the natives could stand the travel. It had certainly frazzled his nerves, it would have even without the last few hours. Now they stood on the shores of a new world - quite literally - and waited.

Their wait was rewarded with a golden shape skimming low across the waves. What they first thought to be a boat turned out to be a large flying chariot with wheels pulled by four pegasus ponies in regal armour. It swooped around the bay twice and then came in for a landing in the surf. Inside was a smallish, dark blue shape - there was something odd about her which took Midnight a few moments to process, before he blurted out, “Winged unicorn!”

The dark blue winged unicorn smiled to herself, “Good morning, ponies. I am Luna-”

“You’re...from my dream...” said Midnight, jaw dropping, “you were on a throne with another pony like you, she was...bigger, different colours.”

Luna inclined her head, nodding, “My sister Celestia, we two are the rulers of Equestria, your princesses.”

“Our princesses?” squeaked Peachy Punch, “Do...do we need to swear allegiance or something? I mean...”

“Peachy,” said Luna smiling, and the pegasus blanched that this strange yet somehow familiar regal pony knew her name, “you accepted us into your heart didn’t you?”

Peachy nodded, as did Cobalt. Frontpage flicked his ears happily and Midnight inclined his head in a pony-nod.

Luna smiled, “And this...feels like home?”

Midnight had to admit, things felt somehow right, “Yes, Princess, I think it does.”

“Then it’s agreed!” Luna’s laugh filled the air like a thousand twinkling bells, “your carriage awaits, sons and daughters of Equestria.”

***

The charriot sped through the clouds, high up, as if it were a jet. He’d had trepidations at first of the capability of the pegasi soldiers to pull it, let alone make it fly, but after the smooth takeoff he just relaxed and went with it, “Magic.” he said idly.

“You see, don’t you?” said Luna quietly, “You’re a unicorn of some talent, forgive me but you do not...feel like a great mage, but you are a unicorn.”

“You mean my talent? My cutie mark, did you call it? Do you know what it is?”

“You don’t have one yet, but never fear, you will discover your true purpose. I see at least one of your group has.”

“You were speaking of magic?”

“Humans...you know why they can’t enter Equestria?”

“I...I thought the shield...”

Luna shook her head, “It is a manifestation of the differences between our two realms. Adult humans are...too in-tune with their own world. When you let our magic in to your heart, we offer you a piece of our realm. It’s up to you to accept it. We cannot force the change, it really is a gift, freely given.”

“It is magic then?”

“We have no other word for it,” Luna smiled, “You could argue metaphysics all day with our greatest thaumatists, we were delighted when we discovered your adherence to the scientific method, as you call it. Our realms just...work differently.”

They travelled the rest of the trip in silence. The ocean below, so blue and green, so pure, like nothing he had ever seen except in pictures. It tugged at his heart and lifted his spirits. Midnight felt joy rising in his blood, almost an audible song, as the ocean gave way to yellow beaches, to scrubland and finally to green and pleasant rolling hills. They were travelling fast, very fast. There was an itch between his eyes that told him the charriot and it’s fliers was magically enchanted but still he marvelled at it.

When the charriot swooped lower to come in for a landing he almost felt a pang of regret. They were landing in a decent-sized village, the architecture quaint and somehow recognizable. There were differences, but he recognized chairs, tables, streets, windows and doors. Luna stepped regally out from the back of the chariot and was all but assaulted by smiling happy ponies nuzzling and greeting her.

“Ah, my beloved subjects!” she cried, and cheers went up, wreathes of flowers were thrown into the air and several given to Peachy, Midnight and the gang.

“I want to welcome you to Ponyville, where you’ll be spending your time until you are done with your orientation.”

Midnight looked sideways at the smirking princess, “What do you mean?”

“I mean I’m sending you to school.” A bell tolled in the distance, and a stream of eager young foals sped through the streets heading towards what had to be the schoolhouse, “and we’re just in time, hop along to class now! I’ll sort everything else out.”

***

Note: Willie Nelson’s “On the Road Again” lyrics are, of course, from the great Willie Nelson. I know this was a shorter chapter, but it felt right. I’ll back back with part 5!

The Conversion Bureau

Midnight’s Tail

Part 5 - Follow the Yellow Brick Road

***

Part 1 - Hitting the Road

Part 2 - Hoofing It

Part 4 - Off the Beaten Track

Part 5 - Follow the Yellow Brick Road

Part 6 - Epilogue

Thanks to: Chistery, Roy, Blaze, Pride, Peachy Punch and all my readers and editors :3

NOTE: Yes folks, I think it’s time we left Midnight to his own devices...but I would love to get back to the other OC’s in here! keep your eyes open.

PS: im planning on an epilogue... :)

Set in Blaze’s “Conversion Bureau” universe

***

Midnight walked through the streets dejectedly. Frontpage had disappeared in a flash, Peachy had been nabbed by the weather patrol and Cobalt had been offered apprentice-ship in half a dozen different earth-pony professions. He, on the other hand, had been ordered to school.

“We can’t have,” an official but friendly-sounding mayoral pony had said when he’d tried to get out of it, “a unicorn who doesn’t know how to be a unicorn. Besides, your group is the first to Ponyville and we haven’t quite got up to speed yet.”

He had followed the crowd of eager and not-so-eager schoolfoals. The tide led to a chirpy-looking buildng with a bell-tower and rows of shuttered windows, currently open to let in the warm spring morning. He stepped up the wide wooden steps and through the open door. There was a simple small hallway where he noted collections of school bags - pannier sacks - as well as raincoats, hats and boots. He felt, for the first time in a while, naked.

There was a door, he knocked on it gingerly with a hoof. To his dismay it swung easily open and he stood there swishing his tail nervously as every pair of eyes turned his way.

“And just what time do you call thi- ah,” the teacher-pony harrumphed and arranged her expression, “you must be...let me see...ah yes, Miss Midnight.”

“Mister,” coughed Midnight, to amused giggles and titters from the crowd of children.

“Ah yes,” said the teacher, adjusting spectacles, “modern times and all. Come in, come in. Class, I want you to welcome an addition to our fold, Mister Midnight Shadow. I’m Cheerilee by the way,” she called to him, before turning back to the class, “he’ll be staying with us and attending class for orientation - hooves up who knows what that is...”

They had sent him to school not to learn about Equestria as such, although basics like reading their script, geography and history would come in handy, but to learn how to be a unicorn. He was sat in the middle near the back, there were creaks behind him as foals tried to see around his bulk. He could barely sit in the chair. He was an adult! How come a stuffy teacher-pony in a pair of spectacles could make him feel like he was five again? He looked at the purple earth-pony with three flowers on her flank. Earth ponies might not have any obvious magic, he thought, but teachers certainly have something.

“Alright class, let’s try our hooves at some art. Pencils everypony!” intoned the teacher. Midnight lifted the pulpit lid with trepidation. There appeared to be a good deal of supplies underneath. He awkwardly took a sheet of paper and lipped a pencil. With dismay he noticed that all the foals had already starting sketching. He picked the pencil up in his teeth, it was tougher than an earth pencil but otherwise identical. He idly wondered how they made them - the paper was more like a scroll than the flat, uniform sheets he remembered so he suspected they were hoof-made.

He looked up, “Umm, what am I supposed to draw?” he ignored the giggles.

“How about for today you draw a self-portrait.” Cheerilee replied with a small smile.

Midnight’s heart sank. He put the tip of the pencil to the paper and dragged it across the parchment, after a few more he had made a passable pony-shape. He’d managed four legs, a head and a tail before he realised that he’d not drawn a human. He was feeling quite pleased with himself...until he looked about at the other childrens’ efforts. One in particular made him blush, his stick-figure of a roughly pony-shape was infantile at best, whereas almost right next to him was a light blue unicorn with the cutie-mark of a colour-mixing pallette, concentrating intently, her horn glowing as coloured chalk and pencils flew through the air and she sketched an amazingly detailed picture of the classroom. His heart sank again as she competently drew not only the entire class but also himself, with barely a glance for reference.

Cheerilee was trotting happily around the class nodding and encouraging; before he could stop her she took a long look at his picture, “Oh, that’s rather good for a first attempt! I think that deserves a gold star!”

He almost died when she rummaged around in a bag around her neck and brought out, yes, a sticky gold star which she affixed to it.

“Have you thought about using your magic?” she asked gently, Midnight shook his head, “well you should try!”

The teacher went back to her desk and he put the pencil down. He stared at it for a while and then closed his eyes.

Be the pencil, he thought to himself, feel it lifting into the air. Size matters not, and besides, it’s only a teeny little pencil...push it, lift it, feel it rising...do, or do not, there is no try...

“Mister Midnight, that’s quite enough of that!” said the teacher, knocking her table with her hoof impatiently, “I meant use your magic to draw, not float around the room like a balloon!”

“Huh?” he opened his eyes, his concentration broke and he dropped two feet back down the floor with a clatter, whereupon he fell off the chair. More giggling. He sighed, this wasn’t going well...

The bell rang for recess, and the tide of eager young foals swept him along with them into the schoolyard where he was swamped with questions,

“Is it true humans eat ponies? Do you still eat ponies?”

“I heard humans can fly, but none of the pictures I’ve seen had wings...”

“Dancer says you’ve got something wrong with you cos-”

“Strawberry Surprise! Hush!” an adult pony stemmed the tide, chastising one of the foals, “I’ll tell your mother on you if you talk like that, it’s not true and you know it, he’s just not been a pony for long! Even if he does have special needs...”

Midnight hung his head at renewed giggling.

“That’s not fair!” said a stubborn little voice, a pudgy little blue-green unicorn with a pair of scissors as his cutie-mark said, “That’s nothing to laugh at! We’re all special, he’s extra special since he’s a human! Only he’s a pony! But he used to be a human! A-a-and now he’s not!”

“Yeah you used ta be a human! That’s so cool!” said another voice, an orangey-brown unicorn with a distinct green mane said.

Midnight noticed that little guy had a snail as a cutie mark, “They really do come in all shapes and sizes, huh?” he said to himself.

“Uh-huh we do! Us unicorns gotta stick together, bro!” said the one he was going to call Snails - at least until he found out what the unicorn’s real name was.

“And you’re the coolest! I can’t manage anything like you did! Make me fly!”

“No me!”

Midnight smiled and closed his eyes, and concentrated like he had before. When he opened them, both unicorns were floating around in the breeze kicking their legs and whooping like loons.

“Mister Midnight,” said a familiar voice, and he cringed, dropping both unicorns to the floor in a heap, “you put Snips and Snails down this inst-” the teacher narrowed her eyes, “don’t think I didn’t see that! We do not levitate our classmates, even if they asked for it. Inside you three! Break’s over!”

Second period started just as painful as the first. It turned out he couldn’t read. Or write. Equestrian script was cursive, somewhat rune-like, and even though he could understand their speech, writing it was another matter. Cheerilee had intervened when she realised what the problem was, and had rapidly started drawing on the chalkboard a passable imitation of English, “Midnight speaks the way we do, but the written language is another talent - he might not know how to write in Equestrian, but he is quite capable of reading and writing his own language...now where was it...”

She brought out an old, beaten book; it was hard-bound and very old with faded print but gorgeous coloured drawings, these seemed to be made by hand.

“The Brothers Grimm,” said Midnight, and gently turned the pages with a hoof, as lightly as possible. He started reading ‘Little Red Riding Hood’ and was several sentences down when he stopped and looked up, the foals were all craning their necks to see.

“I think story time is in order, perhaps?” said the teacher, and pointed with a hoof to the back of the classroom. In moments, with the scraping of chairs and pulpits, the foals had cleared enough room in the corner for him to recline on some well-placed cushions and them to arrange themselves around him. Some, especially Snips and Snails, snuggled up to him. Others kept their distance, attempting to appear aloof. Everypony listened. He realised it felt pretty good.

He was just finished when the lunch-bell went and the tide of youthful energy incarnate on hooves dragged him out the door. He was halfway out of town following three young fillies who were talking incessantly about their adventures trying to find their cutie-marks when he spotted Cobalt coming the other way. It was then he realized he had absolutely no idea where he was going.

“Hey Midnight,” said Cobalt, ears perking up, “how’s your day been?”

“Just don’t ask. What’ve you been up to?”

“Trying my hooves at apple-bucking. I don’t think it’s for me, but the Apple family sure has some great cooking.”

One of the three, a yellow earth-pony with a bright red mane turned to the dark blue unicorn, “y’are comin’ to brunch ain’tcha?”

“I...er...I...”

The little earth pony looked up with the hugest, most sorrowful eyes he had ever seen. It was no good. Whatever plans he thought he’d had were toast, “yeah, sure, why not, if you’ll have me.”

There was bouncing. There was yelling. There were whoops of joy. Somehow they dragged him all the way to a farmhouse in the middle of what seemed to be an apple orchard, where a large table was being set by an orange earth-pony with a blond mane and a cowboy hat. He racked his brains, and came up with a name, “Let me guess,” he said, and the pony stopped short and looked at him, “you’re Applejack? Twilight sends her regards.”

“Well sirree that’s a fine howdy-do. If’n you don’t have the edge on me mister.”

“Midnight,” said Midnight, “a few days ago I was human, I think I met your friends at the Ponification Centre in my old home town.”

The pony whooped and leapt on him, taking his hoof and shaking it until he thought it would come off, “well if’n ma li’l sister Applebloom and her friends have taken a shine to ya, and Twilight herself sent you our way then y’all are right in my book. Staying for lunch?”

“I...yes. Yes I am, before I head back to school.”

“School?” Applejack tried to hide a smirk behind a hoof, but wasn’t very good at it.

Midnight smiled too, “Don’t laugh, I’m learning a lot. I think. Mostly about how I don’t like school...”

Heading back to school was about the hardest thing he’d ever done. He’d been given apple pie, apple fritters, apple chutney, apple surprise - it wasn’t much of a surprise, it did have apples in it after all - apple sundae, apple smoothie and apple supreme. He was full. He was stuffed. He was quite sure that under his coat could be seen bulging apple-shapes in his belly. The last thing on his mind was school, but he had made it. Some history, some geography...he tried to pay attention but it was getting rather difficult.

“Psst!” said a voice. He blinked, it was a light pink earth pony with a light purple and white mane and tail. She had a note in her mouth. She indicated it as best as she could with her eyes. He looked away, on the other side of him was a dark grey pony with a silver mane, she too was nodding urgently towards the note. Midnight sighed and rolled his eyes. He took the note in his mouth from the side of the table and went to pass it across.

“Mister Midnight,” came a familiar voice. Again. He cringed. Again.

“I don’t know how things are usually done where you come from,” Cheerilee continued, “but around here we do not pass notes around. You are passing a note, I take it?”

“Er...no, I mean yes...I mean no...I mean...er...which is the right answer?”

“A big unicorn like you? Come on then, bring it here, let’s see what couldn’t wait...”

He nervously walked up to the front and gingerly put the note on Cheerilee’s table.

She opened it with her hooves, “this note...appears to be blank.”

He blushed hotly as he heard giggles behind him of “Blank flank!” and Cheerilee sighed, “The corner. Back there. Go. I think you need a timeout.”

Midnight hung his head so low it scraped the polished wooden floor. He finally slumped onto the cushions he’d so recently been using to tell a story from and he stared at the wall. This hadn’t entirely been how he’d seen his first day in Equestria going. He rested his head on his forehooves and yawned, he wasn’t sure what he’d done to deserve it and he was pretty sure it was one big joke. He yawned again...at least the timeouts were comfier in Equestria. He closed his eyes.

***

“Wake up sleepy head,”

Midnight opened his eyes with a start. Somepony had covered him with a light blanket. It had kittens and ducks on it. He’d been sleeping...in class. He did his best to bury his face in his hooves. It had worked better with fingers, and a face rather than a muzzle.

“Oh don’t give me that, you were exhausted. I could tell when you started snoring.”

“Snoring? Oh please tell me I didn’t...”

“You did!” Cheerilee laughed, “But I let you sleep it off. I’ve finished marking today’s work by our older fillies and colts, so it’s time for me to head home. You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.”

Midnight looked puzzled for a moment as he struggled to his hooves, “I’m not sure where to go to. I don’t have anywhere.”

Cheerilee thought for a moment, “I suppose you could try the library. Twilight lives there normally, but she’s touring the Conversion Bureaus as they start up.”

“Oh, oh I couldn’t...”

“It’s quite a large library you know, with more than one guest room. I think the chance to study on your own time would do you good.”

Midnight headed over to the library in the waning afternoon sunlight, he was about to knock on the door when he remembered it was probably empty. They didn’t seem to have locks in Equestria, so he wasn’t surprised when the door swung open. He poked his nose in and looked around. Books. Lots and lots of books, all neatly organized by subject and author. Not only that, but scrolls, though these were stacked differently. He stepped in and opened the curtains with his teeth on a draw-string. Sunlight flooded the room and he took a deep breath, so much condensed knowledge in one place. Back home, his computer systems had held many times this library’s worth in raw information, but knowledge wasn’t only measured in bits and bytes. He took a couple of books out, one by one. They were often written by hand - well, hoof and mouth or by magic, he reasoned - painstakingly collected and collated. He realized something else, too. He was home.

***

There was a thump somewhere up above him. Midnight looked up, only now realizing that the afternoon sun was setting and several hours had gone by. He’d found some references on the Equestrian language and was making copious notes going through some simple children’s stories on amazing similarities. He’d been told to study, after all, he reckoned, and there didn’t seem to be any library card system...but that noise, what had it been? Midnight got up and headed up the wide stairs around the inside of the trunk of the tree to the second floor, and was surprised to see a large winged shape coming the other way.

“Luna!” he said, loud in the confines of the otherwise-empty library. She must have landed on some balcony and trotted in. He wondered idly if she was here to see him or on some other errand.

“I see you found your way to the books, you’re as bad as Twilight Sparkle. You’ve been here all day, haven’t you?”

“You sent me to school!” Midnight stamped a hoof and shook his head in denial.

Luna laughed, “You went? Then tell me, my little scholar, what did you learn at school today?”

Midnight thought, “You know what? Children are the same everywhere, so are adults. Things aren’t so different in Equestria after all, even though ponies seem to take things easier. I think I like it.”

Luna smiled, “Was that such a hard lesson?”

“What am I, your special student?”

Luna sniffed, “If my big sister can have a prized pupil, I think I’m allowed the liberty if I so choose.”

The words rang in his ears and he blinked, what was he supposed to say to that? “I...I’m honoured. If that’s what you mean.”

“I hadn’t intended it, but I think I shall rub my sister’s face in it occasionally. Let us make it official. I, Princess Luna, designate you, Midnight Shadow, as my special student.”

“But what am I studying?” Midnight blurted, ears splaying back in shock.

“Magic - no, hear me out, you are not a great mage...yet...but you do provide a unique viewpoint, a bridge between worlds. I want you to keep your ears and eyes open and report to me regularly on the differences and similarities between your old world and Equestria, your new one. It will give you an opportunity to work on that atrocious hoofwriting of yours.”

“But...but...I...how do you know I’d even be good at it?”

“Two reasons, silly pony. One, you’ve just spent several hours researching folk tales...”

“You mean reading children’s stories!”

“Hush, I know what I mean, and secondly...take a look.” She pointed with a wing. Midnight whirled and looked behind him, Luna giggled, “no, right there.”

Midnight looked. He stared, he gaped in disbelief. He hadn’t even felt it! “My...is that my cutie mark?”

“That, or we have some very mischievous elves with tiny little paintbrushes.”

“Elves?” said Midnight, eyes wide.

“Relax! It was a joke! We don’t have elves! There’s no such thing.”

“So...I have a cutie mark? I have a cutie mark! I got my cutie mark!”

He did. It was a scroll, curled at both ends with ink blots covering it, and a feather quill and what appeared to be an inkwell. He turned around and around trying to get a better look, with Luna giggling behind a hoof as he did so.

She put a hoof on his shoulder to calm him, “I’ll bet you’ve forgotten to eat.”

There was an answering rumble from his stomach, and Midnight blushed, “I guess I did kind of get carried away.”

“Well then that settles it! Time for a celebratory dinner. On me.”

“That reminds me! I don’t have any money! I mean I can eat grass I guess but it’s not like I have any pockets and I don’t think they take Credits here anyway...and I’d given those away at the Bureau...and...”

Luna smiled again, leading Midnight out of the library, “I think a small allowance is in order, student.” in answer to her own statement she levitated a small cloth bag out of a pack strapped tightly around her neck so that it didn’t get in the way of her wings, and dropped it in front of the startled unicorn. He poked it with a hoof, it jingled.

“There are enough bits in there for a month or so...I think...our treasury hands these things out to me and I don’t really know what to do with them all so you might as well put them to good use. However, our first stop needs to be Carousel Boutique, Rarity’s shop, for a bag or two for you. Her cousin Elusive’s looking after it whilst she’s accompanying Twilight. He’s not such a good designer, but he can work the colour co-ordination.”

***

The pannier bags and neck-satchel were an unnatural weight on his body so soon after learning to be without clothing, but he was sure he’d get used them. He followed Luna like a little lost puppy, he knew he’d look silly going to school the next day with his books, but he would have fun. They stopped at a small cafe and Luna picked the table. She was just ordering for them when there was a cry of, “LOOK OUT BELOW!” and a yellow-orange streak of colour once again dropped from the skies. Peachy Punch barely managed to pull up in time and she landed with such a thump that it rattled the teacups.

She shook herself before getting up and wobbling towards Midnight and Luna, “Oh hi! Hey guys...I...uh...I mean...good evening Your Majesty.” Peachy turned to Midnight and hissed, “What the hell! You don’t just invite yourself to tea with the princess!”

“I’ll have you know, my good mare, I invited him. I think I’m allowed to have dinner with my special student.”

Midnight blushed and stammered as Peachy looked agog at the unicorn, “I...kind of got a job.”

“That’s wicked!” said Peachy, giving Midnight a congratulatory hoof in the ribs. Midnight smiled weakly and coughed a thanks.

“Come, sit down, it’s so rarely I get to have a quiet meal and I do so hate having breakfast alone.” said Princess Luna, indicating the table and chairs, “I’ve restricted access to Ponyville whilst orientation is happening so all those fussy officials are kept out. Whilst my big sister Celestia is off hob-nobbing in the human world I’m left to keep Equestria running smoothly.”

Princess Luna smirked as Peachy took a seat, “I’ve also designated Ponyville as my temporary base of operations. I can see why she rolls her eyes every time the Chancellors start up their wind-bagging...”

Luna was a master at smalltalk and soon the trio were laughing and joking as if they’d been friends forever. She even invited Cobalt and Frontpage when Peachy and Midnight spotted them wandering through the square, which was rapidly filling up with ponies out to enjoy the warm evening, though she did warn the latter than if any of their chatting got printed in ‘Equestria Daily’ that she’d be re-upholstering her throne soon after.

Frontpage smiled, “Your highness, the first rule of a newspaper hack is to protect your sources, and the second is to know when to keep things off the record.”

The dinner, though it was more a breakfast for the princess, finished with friendly laughter and chatting before Luna excused herself, citing her royal duties with a mischievous grin. Curious, the four followed her to the center of the square where she closed her eyes and spread her wings. An ethereal light chased around her small, lithe body before growing and illuminating the entire area. All the ponies stopped and watched in rapt attention as she suddenly lifted her head and opened her mouth as if singing a song that only she could hear. The world seemed to shift. As the countryside grew brighter, so bright that his own body and all the onlookers were thrown into stark blue relief Midnight realised that their princess was raising the moon. He stamped his hooves in appreciation with the rest, soon the entire square was reverberating with the spontaneous cheering. Luna stopped once this monumental task was complete and smiled once at her new pupil and friends, fondly, before taking to the skies.

Midnight watched her go. As far as first days in a new world went, this one had to be hard to beat. He turned and bid his friends farewell before heading home with a smile.

***

The Conversion Bureau

Midnight’s Tail

Epilogue

***

Part 1 - Hitting the Road

Part 2 - Hoofing It

Part 3 - Four by Four, Four on the Floor

Part 4 - Off the Beaten Track

Part 6 - Epilogue

Thanks to: Chistery, Roy, Pride, Peachy Punch, Blaze and all my readers and editors :3

Set in Blaze’s “Conversion Bureau” universe

http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&xhr=t&q=new+york+new+york&cp=12&qe=bmV3IHlvcmsgbmV3&qesig=UFaR7hVkofukdtG_t8sIBA&pkc=AFgZ2tkKG_cyR1d1jYz45QIcc-ICr995NdY8WySbZMxE4Z1Tr7yDWxlnKq2OY5G5FhlBHS6BGFQA7BcxGK8QhWEiQFaJmX_fIA&safe=off&biw=1280&bih=622&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hq=&hnear=0x89c24fa5d33f083b:0xCSSpageCSS0b8f06e177fe62,New+York,+NY&gl=us&ei=zlkFTunuOOX00gG-5bmCCw&sa=X&oi=geocode_result&ct=title&resnum=1&sqi=2&ved=0CCoQ8gEwAA

***

Twilight was exhausted. Spike was fast asleep on her back and she was all but fast asleep on her hooves. Travel on Earth was a lot more hard work than it was in Equestria. As she walked, too tired to trot, through the empty streets of Ponyville. The library was just ahead, in a few minutes she could...

“Spike! Spike!” she hissed, stopping in the street. There was a wan light inside the treehouse, an intruder!

“Huh? Whaddaya want Twilight? I’m tired...”

“There’s somepony in my treehouse!”

Spike came wide awake at once, scrambling to stand up on the unicorn’s back, peering over her head between her long ears.

She shook her mane out and pawed the ground, “What do you think, rush the joint?”

“Hi ho Twilight, away!” agreed Spike, holding on for dear life as the unicorn reared up and broke into an immediate gallop. She slammed through the door and slid to a halt inside the main room.

“My it’s windy tonight,” came a voice from a back room, it sounded busy and tired, “do I hear somepony out there? I’m sorry, I’m rather sleepy, the library’s closed. Can you come back tomorrow?”

“I recognize that voice...Midnight?” asked Spike, hopping up and down on Twilight’s back, “It is! It’s Midnight!”

“Spike? Twilight! You’re back! I’m so glad to see you!” Midnight came running out of the back and he pranced around the pair, giving Spike a brohoof. The dragon switched mounts and instantly started jabbering about their adventures, relating several humorous occurences in the various Bureaus around the world - Pinkie had absolutely adored India although nopony could talk her out of attempting to feed cotton candy curry to anypony at the drop of a hat. One attempt in particular had resulted in half the staff calling in sick leaving Pinkie to manage the cooking.

“Pinkie? Cooking? With curry?”

“Oh you haven’t heard the funniest bit yet! She’s all concerned and trying to find something safe to eat for those suffering from the dreaded Deli Belly, right? So she asks me, she goes ‘Spike, how about oatmeal?’ and you know what I said?”

“Oatmeal?”

“Oatmeal! I said, ‘oatmeal, Pinkie, are you crazy?’ and she gives me this look for about five seconds before she’s off rolling around the floor! Hah! I oatmealed Pinkie! Fantastic!”

Twilight just stood there with her mouth hanging open, “he stole my library. He just stole my number one assistant. I’m so going to kick his flank for this...” she yawned heavily, she knew she was just cranky, “in the morning...”

“I bet you’re tired,” said Midnight, smiling, nosing the yawning Spike. The dragon waved his paws and made a face that said ‘getoff’. Midnight led the way upstairs to Twilight’s bedroom. He opened the door and turned up the firefly lamps with a hoof, “I kept it waiting for you, just the way you’d want it.”

The room was pristine, perfect, with clean bedding and a scented candle which Midnight proudly lit with a spark from his horn. Twilight revised her plans from bodily harm down to a chewing out, but collapsed into her bed without complaint. Spike all but leapt at his basket with a cry of “blankie!” whereupon he rolled himself up in it’s warm blue cuddliness and almost immediately started snoring.

Midnight was making breakfast in the kitchenette in the back of the library. Something light today, I think, he thought to himself, tasting the daffodils and dandelions for consistency. He’d not really gotten used to eating flowers yet and found himself putting them in vases and getting odd looks from his guests - what few he had. He liked the mornings in Ponyville, so peaceful, so quie-

“MIIIDDDNIIIGGGHHHTTTT!” shrieked Twilight, “Did you use all the hot water? I need hot water for my mane or it’ll be all frizzy! I have to give my report to the Princess today! I can’t do that looking like a clown!”

Midnight slumped, so much for peace and quiet, “Sorry Twilight!” he called, “I’ll...I’ll have a word with the pegasus ponies, I’m sure you can borrow a cloud...”

“FORGET IT!” grumbled Twilight from the bathroom.

Midnight turned to finish the salad and was just setting it on the table when a wet and dripping Twilight stomped into the kitchenette with a soap bottle in her mouth. She spat it onto the table, “What do you call this?” she asked, eyes narrowing.

Midnight looked, and read the label slowly, not yet up to speed on Equestrian script, “Silver Shine’s Glossy Hair Creme - for a thick, luxurious coat, mane and tail.”

“Correct. Do you notice anything wrong with it?”

“Other than the fact it’s on my table, you mean?”

“It’s empty!” she hissed, “It costs twenty eight bits a bottle on special import from Canterlot and it’s empty!”

“But...” said Midnight, “it’s the only shampoo that keeps my mane in shape! And don’t let me start about my tail!”

“You used all the hot water! You used all my shampoo! You..you...you’re living in my library! Augh! It’s too early for this...I’m going back to bed.”

Midnight slumped at the kitchen table, this was going to be harder than he thought. A bell went off and he raised his head. On top of all that, he was going to be late for school! Cheerilee was going to put him in detention...again! He wrote a quick note, ‘enjoy your breakfast’, and galloped out the door.

Twilight woke up with a start when with a loud, “woah, woah...look out!” a blue and rainbow-haired pegasus came hurtling through an open window and crashed into the bookcase downstairs. She opened her eyes and sighed, “no rest for the weary.”

“Hi, er, hey Twi, glad to see you made it! Have...have you seen Midnight?” Rainbow Dash had the remains of a salad in her teeth, she’d managed to scoff the lot in the few minutes since so decidedly waking the sleepy unicorn.

Twilight yawned, “No, I think you just missed him. Any particular reason?”

“Oh no, no, you know, just...wanted to say hi. We didn’t get a chance yesterday evening before you came to do any...er, talking...the princesses...”

“Midnight was dining with the princesses?” Twilight’s cheeks grew hot.

“Y-yeah, funny thing...” Dash grinned weakly

“And you didn’t invite me?”

“Well you were out of town, you took the later flight...”

“Well some of us had work to do. Some of us don’t have wings.” Twilight spat.

The fight was broken up by a bell ringing. A light blue filly with an hour glass on her flank and an interestingly white and dark-blue striped mane and tail trotted in and looked all around, “Uh, oh...is the librarian not here? I wanted to borrow a book...”

Twilight boiled with rage, “I’M THE LIBRARIAN!”

The filly looked Twilight up and down, “Hardly, he’s a bit bigger than you and a stallion for a start...”

“Augh! And you ate all my breakfast...Dash you greedy pig!”

Rainbow Dash and the filly, Colgate, fled the treehouse, the former in tears of laughter.

Midnight concentrated. He no longer floated around the room when writing using his magic, but he still wasn’t very good at it. He’d also progressed on the reading. He was on ‘Hooves, Manes and Tails - My First Bedtime Story Book’ now and had collected an embarrassing number of gold stars from Cheerilee. He’d given up trying to understand why he was still being sent to school - Mayor Mare said it was a mixup with the paperwork, he personally suspected it was Luna having a long-winded joke. He was making the best of it and to be honest he was learning a lot about Equestria and getting good practice in reading and writing natively. He was currently working on an illustrated story about the time before he was a unicorn when he was a human known as Martin Danielson, for his Equestrian Languages class. He was trying to get out of the habit of drawing himself as he was and instead drawing himself as he used to be. Strangely enough it was difficult. He kept adding the horn, hooves and the tail. He doodled, drawing a pegasus, then picking up a blue pencil with his magic and colouring the lines lightly. He followed it up with all the colours of the rainbow in the mane and tail.

“That’th Rainbow Dathh!” said Twist, a chipper little foal who loved to make peppermint sticks. Midnight could almost count the days until she was working for the Cakes, or even running her own sweet shop. Midnight smiled and looked down. He’d done it again, he’d drawn himself as a unicorn, looking up at Dash flying about in the Ponification Centre.

“It certainly is! This is just after I became a unicorn, not the first time I’ve met Dash. I was having dinner with her last night. Princess Luna and Princess Celestia were there too.”

“No way! I don’t believe you!” called another pony

“I’ll prove it, kid. Pop ‘round the library later tonight and I’ll introduce you to Luna.”

Midnight was quickly surrounded by choruses of “me too! And me!” and he had to laugh, even though Cheerilee gave him a light-hearted mock-scowl. He looked at the picture and smiled fondly, then made up his mind, “Miss? I’m going to have to leave early.”

Cheerilee raised an eyebrow and adjusted her spectacles, “Just because you’re five times as big as the rest of my students, don’t think you get special treatment, young unicorn. You’re just like any other student when in class.”

“It’s official business,” he lied, blushing slightly.

Cheerilee narrowed her eyes, she didn’t believe a word of it but she did have a soft spot for the lummox. Perhaps this time he could get away with it, “Well alright, but see you complete page twenty-three and I want the homework done too! No skimping or I’ll put you in timeout. Again.”

Midnight dipped his head in agreement, blushing, as he collected his things. Timeouts were becoming less common but seemed to come in almost equal measure to the gold stars. He fled before she could change her mind.

A few minutes later, Rainbow Dash poked her head around the door gingerly, scanning around the classroom. She waved a hoof at Scootaloo before she caught sight of Cheerilee and stopped mid-wave. The teacher had a face like a purple thundercloud.

“Miss Rainbow Dash, if you want to stay for lessons all you have to do is ask. Well?”

“Oh, er...no, no, I was just looking for someone...”

“He left, as should you. Scoot!”

Midnight found himself back at the library, he’d looked all over Ponyville to no avail. That darn blue streak of lightning was probably halfway in the clouds and all the way to slumberville. He sniffed. Typical, she’d probably forgotten all about him. He was coming up on the library dejectedly when, with the bright light of day, he realised what looked odd about the place. The grass was getting a bit...wild. He hadn’t noticed in the dark.

“Twilight?” he called out, “Twilight? Who cuts the grass around here?”

“Who does what?” asked Twilight, finally poking her head out of an upstairs window. she looked grumpy.

“Who cuts the grass? I mean I haven’t seen any lawnmowers around here...”

“What’s a lawnmower?”

“The grass...it’s getting a bit long? Shouldn’t there be something to cut it?”

Twilight pulled her head back in and a few moments later appeared at the front door with a puzzled expression on her face, “I thought you were just saving it for later...you’re a pony. Ponies eat grass.”

Midnight blinked. How could he have been so foolish? “Oh...ah. Well, that...that does kind of explain things. I...I don’t think I can eat all of this.”

“Need help?” said a voice from behind him. Somehow, Pinkie was rising out of the undergrowth like the proverbial great pink huntress. Midnight blinked, he’d long ago given up trying to work out how Pinkie managed things like that, he assumed she was some sort of secret agent, super ninja or part unicorn. Or all three.

“I...I can’t eat all of this grass! Oh shoot and that reminds me, after last night I’ve totally forgotten to get the shopping in. Twilight, I’m sorry, you must be hungry.”

“Don’t be silly,” said Twilight, brightly - maybe a little too brightly - although her stomach decided to announce she was lying. Midnight disappeared inside and came back out with a purse of jangling coins.

“I’m not very good with money yet, but...my treat? I think I’ve got enough to scare up some of the Cake’s cakes. And some of Rocky’s coffee...”

Twilight blinked, “where’d you get that?”

“I...I get paid?”

“What? But there’s a small fortune in here!”

“It’s not my fault!” protested Midnight, “The princess just...”

“The Princess? Why would Celestia....”

Midnight shook his head, “Not Celestia, Luna. I kind of work for her? I did send you a letter.”

Twilight grit her teeth, “Let me get this straight; you live in Ponyville, in the library. You work for the princess. I suppose you’ve got a dragon assistant who sends your reports to Luna for you too?”

Midnight shook his head again, “There’s this owl; I call him ‘Hugo’ although all he ever says is ‘hoo’ so I’m...I’m not sure...”

“An owl.” Twilight looked like she would explode. Midnight nodded. “THAT’S IT! I’M GOING FOR A WALK!”

“Tell the rest of the pony gang we’re gonna have ourselves a shearing contest! With grasscake!” called Pinkie, as she happily set to chomping on the delicious foliage. Midnight gingerly started helping. It tasted like lemon sherbet.

Inside and out of the sun, Midnight was putting away his school books before heading out to look for a certain pegasus mare. He was idly chewing on an apple fritter, not just any fritter, but a Sweet Apple Acres apple fritter, studying a map of Ponyville and cross-checking with the day’s weather forcast when he suddenly realised that Twilight was once more in the library. She seemed to be getting angrier and angrier, pacing about from shelf to shelf and levitating down book after book and stomping her hooves. He stopped what he was doing and looked up, “Can I help?”

“Just what did you do in here? I can’t find anything!”

“I...kinda rearranged it a little? Nothing major...”

“You...you...you...”

“Yes, you’d got everything arranged alphabetically. I’ve rearranged it by topic and author. Much simpler!”

“But...half the books are missing!”

“They’re not missing, this is a library. They’re on loan. There’s a ledger somewhere...” Midnight fished it out with his magic, cleaning the crumbs away.

“You...you...” Twilight was snorting

“You said that.” urged Midnight.

“You loan books out? I mean yes...this is a library, and yes I suppose the people of Ponyville are allowed to loan the books but, but, but...they never actually do!”

“I think it’s the newfoals. I’ve ordered a lot of novels from Canterlot and Trottingham - Far Spotter, Madame Pompadour, Hex Bradley...I think the newfoals are writing as many as they’re reading but they really do love the classics.”

“And will you stop eating in here! This is a library, as you were so quick to remind me!”

“Sorry Twilight...” mumbled Midnight, scoffing the last piece, “Hey where’s Pinkie?”

“I think she went off to make you a special Pinkie Pie Grasscake Surprise, said somethng about a party,” Twilight blinked widely and put a hoof on her mouth, “oh rats, it was supposed to be a surprise!”

Midnight grinned, “I’ll act surprised. Tell you what, I’ll...I’ll clear off and come back later, okay? Send Fluttershy after me...no, wait, send AJ or Big Mac once they turn up, knowing Pinkie she’s invited everypony.”

“Why not send Rainbow Dash?” called out Twilight, but Midnight had gone.

Midnight trotted through the town, eyes on the sky, on the lookout for a streak of rainbow tail on blue hide. He found himself heading to Sweet Apple Acres where the pegasus’ weather patrol was supposed to be causing a mild shower. Cobalt was busy tilling the fields with gusto after the relatively-recent winter-wrapup. Midnight hurried to catch up to him, somehow the earth pony was walking in a continuous ray of sunshine whilst around him the downpour happened obliviously.

“Hey Cobalt!” called Midnight, emerging into sudden sunlight and shaking himself dry, “Weird weather we’re having. I’m looking for Rainbow...have you seen Peachy?”

Cobalt looked up from his plodding and came to a halt, “Oh hey Midnight, what’s up?”

“Have you seen Peachy?” repeated Midnight.

“You said that, and I said ‘what’s up’,” said the earth pony with a grin, flicking his ears and tail in mirth, “Peachy’s up, that’s what.”

Midnight looked up, and there staring down at him through a pony-sized hole in the rainclouds was a familiar yellow-orange pegasus with the vibrant dark-red mane and tail.

“Look out below!” she called and leapt through the hole in the cloud cover and landed with a thump in the muddy field. She still hadn’t quite got the landings down pat.

“That’s mah gal,” said Cobalt with a smile, “she runs her own business now!”

“That I do! Peachy Punch’s Cloud Delivery and Removal Specialists at your service, Midnight. I’ll punch a hole in those rainclouds just for you, turning grey days just peachy.”

Midnight’s eyes widened, “you stop the rain?”

“Or bring it, special delivery. Only costs a few bits!”

“Sounds like you two are settling down well here!”

Peachy did a little dance and showed off her flank, “That we are! I got my cutie-mark and everything!” she showed it off, a little cup of sunshine - literally, it was a happy smiley sun-face in a cup.

“That reminds me,” said Cobalt, “an’ I guess now you’re here, it’s as good a time as any. Midnight, you can help do the honours. I’m...not too good with my hooves. I just pull things. Can you fetch the little box out of my saddle-bags? Peachy, you stay right there...”

Midnight watched, searching through the bags for what Cobalt had described. It was a small, felt-covered box with a hinged lid. He lifted it out with his magic as Cobalt got down on one knee and looked up at Peachy, “I...uh...I’m not very good with my words either, but will you be...become...er...misses...Peachy Cobalt, or however it works with these pony-names?”

Peachy wasn’t sure whether to giggle or gasp, as Midnight flipped open the lid and lifted out a fine silver necklace of horse-shoe and feather-shapes, both box and necklace hanging in the air from Midnight’s magic. She looked down at the earth pony and suddenly grinned ear to ear, giving him a whiskery kiss on the nose, “Oh I will, Cobalt! But...I think I’ll keep on being Peachy Punch.”

Midnight, concentrating so hard he was sweating, opened the clasp and put it around Peachy’s neck, his magic giving out just as it finally snapped closed. Peachy Punch opened it awkwardly with her hooves, “What gives? There’s no pictures in here...”

“Not yet,” replied Cobalt, “but there will be one day...hopefully one day soon.”

Midnight thought for a moment, weaving his head back and forth, “Oh in that case...I...uh...allow me to give you a present. Call it a down-payment for a place of your own...I can give you more if it’s not enough.” he fished his money-pouch out of his own neck-bag and gave it to Peachy in his mouth.

She raised an eyebrow at the contents, “Thank you Midnight...I don’t know what to say.”

“It’s what friends are for, right? Now I gotta...have you seen Dash?”

Peachy thought for a moment, “No, can’t say I have. She’s been absent all morning, said something about having to run an errand...”

Midnight’s ears lifted, could she be? “Uh...I have to dash...”

Peachy and Cobalt watched him go, “I bet you do.” she said, giggling.

Midnight looked all about town and nowhere was there so much as a sniff of the pegasus he was looking for. He’d turned and headed dejectedly back to the library and was almost there when there was a thump behind him. He turned, and there she was.

“Rainbow Dash!” said Midnight, running up to her, stopping akwardly a few feet from the pegasus.

She closed the gap, “He-hey Midnight, I...uh...I’ve been looking for-”

“I’ve been looking for you too!” said Midnight. They neck-hugged briefly and then looked at the library door together, “they’ve got a party in there.” Midnight said after a moment.

“Yeah, I was supposed to keep you out of the library until they finished.”

“Oh,” Midnight’s ears drooped, “s-so you weren’t looking for me, looking for me...”

“Oh, I...kinda was that, too...”

Midnight’s ears perked up again as they opened the door, “You were? Because,” he added in a small voice, “I was kinda thinking about what you said, last time? And I...kinda would, you know?”

“Would what?” asked Rainbow, leaning closer.

“Like to...see, I mean, be...”

The sentence never got completed, as a whole host of ponies jumped out from behind the furniture as the lights went up, yelling, “SURPRISE!”

The party was a success, but then again a Pinkie Pie Party generally always was. There was cake - grass-cake was something Midnight had never tried before and it was surprisingly delicious, as was the carrot-cake. Somehow Pinkie had found chocolate and icecream. He was also wondering about the balloons. Just how did a pony like Pinkie Pie tie up the balloons? Everypony was there, somepony had even hired DJ Scratch and surprisingly few ponies were bowing and scraping to Luna and Celestia, who were quite happily fending off over-excited foals from Midnight’s class.

Cheerilee had even brought him a present, “You do know I give you a hard time because I can’t let them think they can get away with the same, don’t you?” she’d asked.

Midnight had laughed, “You’re a school-teacher, Miss Cheerilee, teaching’s your job. Just try to tone down the timeouts and we’ll get along fine.”

“I only do that because I think you need the sleep.”

“Do I still snore?” he asked

“Only when you’re really tired.”

Eventually the party was over and almost everypony went home, Twilight headed to her bed. Spike passed out in the punch bowl and looked so comfortable that Midnight just put a blanket over him. Midnight tidied up what he could but left the rest for the morning after. Luna had requested a report, so he sat at his bedroom window, a single candle burning, thinking what to write.

Dear Princess Luna,

Being a pony is much like being a human, when all is said and done. We laugh, we love, we live, we struggle. If we’re going to integrate ponified humans in this world, all we really need to do is let them be themselves. The sooner they learn that trick the easier everything becomes. There’s no trick to it really, just dig deep inside and feel the hooves and tail and let it bring a smile to your face.

Your faithful student,

Midnight Shadow

Midnight turned his head back to the bed, he was pretty sure he’d be missed if he took any longer. He blew out the candle and mouthed the scroll to Hugo, turning around with a smile on his face and a spring in his step.

Midnight - no longer a human, now a pony, but still a person - slid into the bed, sharing half a plumped pillow in the darkness. He closed his eyes, just for a moment.

There was a giggle next to him and he awoke with a snort. A light blue hoof, the colour hard to see in the moonlight, gently touched his muzzle, “Do you know you snore?”

A Twist in the Tail

Minisode 1 - Ships in the Night

An MLP:FiM Fanfic set roughly in the TCB universe.

Note: Maximum Overtroll Mode Activate! you should probably read both “midnight’s tail” and “a twist in the tail” for context but it’s hopefully self-contained enough that it’s not essential.

Links: | A Twist in the Tail | Mini-Minisode 1 |

***

“Midnight!” called Twilight, hammering on the bathroom door with one of her hooves, “Midnight Shadow! You come out right now!”

“No! I’m never coming out! I’m... hideous! I’m... everyone will see!” Midnight wailed from behind the door.

“I said I was sorry!” urged Twilight, ceasing her knocking for a few moments.

“You’re not! You’re not sorry!”

“I didn’t mean to actually get you with it..." said Twilight, turning her head and looking at the floor.

“You got me on the flank! Right on the flank!” came the plaintive cry from behind the door.

“So you’re a filly for... a while... you’re a big... uh... pony, you can take it. I mean look, I’m a filly!”

“But... you’re supposed to be!”

“Nopony will care, now will you come out here!”

“No! I’m going to stay in here until it wears off!”

“Ugh! Fine! Spike, I’m going out! Don’t wait up!”

The purple baby dragon peered out from beneath his blankie. Long ago he’d learned to hide when one of these rows started up. He wrapped it around himself tighter and fumed. It should have been games night, but now? Midnight was sulking in the bathroom, Twilight was out sulking around Ponyville and Spike was down a sparring partner. Trust Twilight to make an R63 potion that versatile that it worked on either sex pony. Efficient to a fault. Spike curled up, this would probably be a long wait.

Midnight sniffed, wiping away a tear and blowing her locks out of her eyes as she peered into the mirror. She... didn’t look too bad, really. Kind of cute, she supposed. “I mean... I’d date me, if I were... not me... I guess.”

Midnight hung her head, “That doesn’t even make any sense,” she said, looking back up into the mirror, “and now you’re talking to yourself. Argh I’m so... angry! Ruddy Twilight... humph. I’m so mad I could... I could... I’m so mad I could use an entire bottle of her favourite shampoo. Yeah. And her bubble bath..."

Soon after, there was the pleasant rushing sound of water entering a bathtub and the clatter of doors being opened and slammed shut and of bottles being placed around the plush facilities.

“Oh, hello, what do we have here? Twilight’s special toy, huh? Well, well, well... I’ll be having some fun with that I think.”

Twilight eased the door to the library open apprehensively, peering about. Silence. That was either very good, or very bad.

“Helloooo?” she called, “Anyone in?”

“Twilight?” answered Spike with a yawn as he stumbled out of the bedroom, still wrapped in his blue blankie.

“Where’s Midnight?”

Spike stretched and hunched himself into the comforter, “He’s... she’s still in the bathroom. She was bad enough before, now I think she’s worse than you!”

Twilight snorted and double-timed it up the stairs, stopping outside the bathroom, “Midnight? Are you still mad?” she called

Inside were strange noises. Grunting, huffing, panting. Twilight put her ear to the door, “Midnight? What are you doing?”

“Oh... almost... oh... that’s it... why won’t it... fit..." Midnight called, breathlessly

“Midnight?”

“Just a bit more... just a bit more... oh yes, like that... oh it’s so big! I... I can’t fit it all in!”

“Are you..? What are you..? Midnight!” shouted Twilight, stamping a hoof.

“It’s so slippery and rubbery... oh no... oh it’s stuck, I’ll have to... ease it out... oh yes, that’s right, now back in... turn it... unf... unf..."

“Oh. My. Celestia, you are! Stop it! Stop it at once! You’ll... you fiend! I’m coming in!”

There was a triumphant grunt and moan and the squeak of something rubbery and Midnight cried out, “Oh yes!”

Twilight unlocked the door with her magic and burst in, almost afraid to look. The dark blue unicorn mare with the sunset-coloured mane and tail was bent over the side of the bathtub, tail and hooves akimbo, as she reached down behind the bathtub to fish out a yellow rubber duck. She looked up in shock as Twilight burst in, “I’m sorry! I... was playing with your rubber ducky and he got... stuck behind the bathtub! I couldn’t reach and..."

“You... couldn’t get the duck out?”

“Eeenope. Got him now tho!”

Twilight sniffed in displeasure, “You were playing with Ducky? ... and is that my entire collection of ‘suds of delight’ I smell? YOU USED MY ENTIRE COLLECTION OF ‘SUDS OF DELIGHT’! I’M GOING TO TURN YOU INTO UPHOLSTERY!”

Midnight winced and sank into the bathtub almost up to her ears, “I’m sorry... they were so... lovely and... and I wanted to be pretty... and... and... and I don’t know how!” the blue mare burst into tears.

Twilight pouted, but she couldn’t stay mad for long at how recalcitrant the ex-stallion looked, “Well, you’d better get out, Midnight, or you’ll shrivel up. I’ll... teach you about makeup. Eyeshadow for example. I’m pretty sure you never wore eye-shadow before.”

Midnight shook her head and fussed with the shower-head, attempting to get the last of the soap out of her mane. Twilight giggled, “Here, let me do that... maybe we can have a girl’s night in? Would you like that? I really am sorry, you know..."

Midnight sank into the bathtub once more, now the only thing visible was her horn, but even her horn was blushing as she nodded the affirmative.

***

“Seeya later, Twi! I’ll keep an eye on Midnight, don’t worry!” called the dragon as Twilight clip-clopped down the street. After she was out of view, Spike shut the door and called out, “It’s okay! She’s gone! Now what were you planning?”

“A little payback for yesterday, Spikey, of the best sort. I’ll have her taste her own medicine. She made more R63 than she needed, and I’ve found out where she keeps it. We’re going to have a little party tonight, and then I’m going to prank her good and proper.”

“With the potion?”

“Of course with the potion!”

Spike made a few benedictorial signs against his chest, “When she asks, I know nothing.”

Midnight trotted down the happy streets of Ponyville, flicking her tail about. She had to admit, it was doing her good to get out of the stuffy library, as much as she liked slobbing around on the sofa and eating chips with her muzzle in the packet like it was a nose-bag... usually... for some reason it felt good to be out and about.

“Hey baby! Gimme some flank!” came a few catcalls, Midnight flicked her tail and trotted on, head held high. The nerve, she thought to herself. She started making plans for ponies like that; first she’d work out how to make the stuff, then she’d work out some way of weaponizing it. A few spritzers here or there... by the time she’d got to Sweet Apple Acres, she’d got the whole idea mapped out in her head. It would involve water balloons and laser-guided cannons. She almost didn’t notice Big Mac, and practically ran into him.

“Hey there li’l lady,” the stoic red stallion said, “don’t believe ah’ve seen y’around here before.”

Midnight looked up, and froze. Big Mac. She’d never really... looked at him before. A shiver went down her spine and her tail twitched involuntarily, “Big..." she squeaked, harrumphed, “Big Mac! I-It’s me, Midnight. It was an accident with a spell, Twilight..."

“Miss Twilight? I dunno, Midnight, Miss Twilight’s usually right good at spells.”

“Yeah, well, this one worked, it just wasn’t supposed to be work on me.”

“So,” Big Mac looked down at her, shuffled his hooves, “yer a purty filly... ah mean... ya look good. I mean, uh, you look okay.”

Midnight pouted, “Wasn’t on my list of things to do though.”

“Well, what’re you down for?”

“I just... wanted to invite you all to a party. S’time we had a get-together, it’s a surprise for Twilight. I want to invite all of you.”

Big Mac rumbled his assent and turned around, falling into step with Midnight, escorting her down the path to the farmhouse proper. Midnight shook her head, must not think of Big Mac’s strong shoulders. Must not think of strong hooves. You’re a stallion. You’re not a mare. Yes I know he’s dreamy... I mean no he isn’t! Dammit!

“Y’all okay there, Midnight?”

“Perfectly fine!” squeaked the mare, clearing her throat again, “I mean, ahem, totally fine.”

***

It was later that day. Preparations had been made. Everything was set.

“Good evening, Pinkie, just sneak in there... and ssshhh!”

“Oh this is going to be the bestest! I thought I was the only pony who made specially secret surprise parties but I’m so glad you invited me to this one cos surprise parties are the best types of parties and..."

“Ssshh! She might hear you! She’ll be along any minute!”

“Oh! Right!” Pinkie giggled and mimed a hoof passing across her muzzle, followed by some digging motions and something complicated involving construction. Midnight smiled despite herself.

Guests continued arriving. Fluttershy knocked so lightly Midnight almost didn’t hear her. She squeaked when the door was opened, “You... you really are a m-mare!”

“I am indeed! Come in!”

The next to arrive was Applejack, “Y’all seen Big Mac? Mah brother’s durn been missin’ all afternoon!”

Midnight nodded, “I had him run interference for Twilight, sorry. I’ll help buck apples tomorrow, okay?”

“Durn right ya will, missy!” Applejack stormed past, giving Midnight the evil eye. Midnight turned back to the door and came nose-to-nose with a skyblue, rainbow-haired pegasus.

“Midnight? Oh that is just too precious! Haaa haaa! You’re a little filly... harharhar! And are you... oh my gosh you are, makeup!”

“Rainbow Dash,” scolded Rarity, trotting in, “a girl should always strive to look her best!”

“Yeah, but when the girl is your boyfr- I mean... when the girl is a stallion? It’s too precious!” Rainbow giggled all the way in.

The last up was Big Mac. His knock on the door was loud and forceful, Midnight opened the door and looked up into those big green eyes and almost melted, before pulling herself together, “Hi-hi, Big Mac, come in. Where’s Twilight?”

“Twi’ll be along right soon, Miss Midnight.”

“Alright then!” cried Midnight, turning as Big Mac trotted in, “Everyone take your places!”

“Yippee! But first, there’s a whole bowl of punch I found Midnight! A toast to another party pony!”

“Wait? What? No!” cried Midnight, but it was too late. Everypony had raised a cup to their lips, apart from Big Mac and the dark blue unicorn herself, and drank. “Oh... horseapples.”

***

“Sooo... let me get this straight. Midnight found my R63 potion.”

“Uh huh.” replied Spike, nervously.

“And he thought he’d prank me with it..."

“Kinda?”

“But instead, everypony else drank it?”

“That’s about the all of it, Twilight... you mad?” Spike wrang his claws together, twirling a foot against the floor.

Twilight burst into laughter, “That is the most hilarious thing I’ve heard in my life! So, everypony is now... switched?”

“Well I’m not,” said Spike, “I’m too young for punch, and Big Mac isn’t cos he wasn’t in time. And you aren’t.”

“When I catch that delinquent unicorn, I’m going to..." Rainbow was fuming.

“Oh Dash, take it easy... or should I say Dashiel?” mollified Twilight, “I can reverse it, easy-peasy, just not today.”

“How long are we going to be... stuck like this?” asked a yellow pegasus.

“Flutter... guy... I’ll have to run some tests but it shouldn’t be that long,” Twilight smirked, then turned, “everypony? I’ll... I can fix this, just not tonight. Where’s Rarity?”

Pinkie Pie, who seemed totally unfazed by his new body, bounced around the purple unicorn, “I think he went to change clothes... maybe make clothes. He may be a stallion now, but he’s still a fashionista!”

“This... requires Tequila.” said Dashiel, breaking out a bottle and pouring himself a shot or two.

“I’m... really sorry, I didn’t mean..." said Midnight, taking the other shot.

“Ah, don’t sweat it, Twi can undo it.” another few rounds of shots went down. Another bottle was found - this one proclaimed itself to be rum.

“I really didn’t mean for... ooh, that’s warming... I really didn’t... you know, Dashiel, you make a pretty good stallion.”

“And you make a pretty cute mare.”

Two more shots went down. The red earth pony stallion joined them, trying to avoid his... brothers... eye. Pretty soon, everything was looking rather rosey and the party went ahead.

***

Midnight touched her belly, it was large and had been growing larger. She felt the movement under her hooves. She looked up at the doctor and he smiled, said a few placatory words, “it’s twins.”

“Twins? But... when? How?”

“I’m sure you know when, and how, Miss Midnight.”

“I... what?”

She was being wheeled into the hospital, spread-eagled on her back as a team of unicorns around her cast examinatory spells across her body. They shouted words like “pulse is good” and “blood pressure nominal” until the gurney came to rest in a large operating theatre.

Twilight stepped up in doctor’s smocks, “you should know better than to try to cross me. Now you’ll be the first stallion to give birth!”

“And I’ll be here to help! Her number one assistant!” said Spike, sharpening his claws on a grinding stone, sending sparks flying.

“Nnnnoooooooo!” Midnight awoke with a start, panting hard. Her mouth felt like something had died in it and the room swam sickeningly. Slowly her eyes focused, she was in a bed, under the sheets. One thing was sure, it wasn’t her bed. She eased herself out into the open air and blinked. There in front of her in the pre-dawn light was a sky blue pegasus stallion with a rainbow mane. He woke up.

“Midnight? What’s up?” he said, rubbing a hoof across his muzzle to clear his head.

Midnight gulped, “Did we? Last night?” she felt suspiciously sore.

Rainbow Dashiel’s muzzle broke into a wide, evil grin, “Oh yeah. Several times.”

“Oh horseapples.” swore Midnight, turning over to face away from the grinning pegasus. As she turned, she froze. There on the other side of her was a large red earth stallion.

“Oh... oh no. You too?”

Big Mac opened his eyes, he blinked for a bit and considered, “Eeeyup.”

A Twist in the Tail

Mini-Minisode 1 - Here be Dragons

(you should probably read a twist in the tail first...or at least the minisode)

***

Twilight burst into her room, “You...you fiend! In my room! In my bed! Under my sheets! OUT! OUT! ALL...ALL THREE OF YOU!? YOU SHOULD FEEL ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES!”

Twilight leaped around the room shouting incoherently until Rainbow Dashiel - grinning madly and cackling - along with Midnight Shadow and Big Mac fled for their lives. Dash sped outside and watched through the window. Big Mac came face to face with Applejack - the big red stallion shrunk back down until his ears almost met the floor at the glare his brother was giving him.

“Big brother... Imma hafta teach you a lesson... get back here!” said Big Mac’s little brother.

Big Mac fled, Applejack in hot pursuit with a bottle of something cherry-red in his muzzle.

Midnight peered apprehensively from the stairwell as Twilight fumed.

“I’ll have to disinfect them! No, no, worse! I’ll have to burn them! To think they... in my... with my... AUGH! SPIKE!”

Spike was hiding in the closet - well, to tell the truth he’d fallen asleep in the closet but didn’t feel much like coming out. Twilight slammed the doors open and picked him up with her magic.

“Wait...wait! Twilight!”

Twilight concentrated, and with an “urk!” Spike was stretched straight. Twilight grabbed him with her forehooves and squeezed him like the bagpipes. He gave a huge belch and a torrent of green flame spewed over the bed. The sheets vanished. The pillows vanished. The mattress, in fact, vanished. The wooden frame disintegrated and collapsed into a pile of ash. Twilight, breathing heavily, put Spike down.

“Now,” she asked, arranging her hair, “what did you want to say?”

“I...still had my flame set on postal...”

“Oh. Oh... oh no...”

Spike went cross-eyed and belched. A small scroll appeared. Twilight gulped and unfurled it. It read:

Dear Twilight Sparkle.

Please attend me at your earliest opportunity.

Signed,

Celestia

Twilight gulped, “Oh...horseapples.”

The purple unicorn lifted into the air as a pink glow surrounded her...and vanished. Midnight blinked, she clip-clopped up the stairs and wandered into the room, “Did she just..?”

Spike nodded, “She did. Stand clear... I hope the princess doesn’t post her back.” the dragon added, with a worried expression on his muzle.

There was a bright flash of light and a large burlap bag appeared marked ‘Laundry’. Then there was another bright flash and a purple unicorn stallion dropped out of thin air to land heavily on the padded sack.

Twilight looked up at Midnight and scowled, “I hate you.”

The Conversion Bureau

The End

A grimdark MLP:FiM fanfic set very loosely in “The Conversion Bureau” universe by Blaze.

WARNING: Grimdark. It may cause rage, impotence, flatulence, cooties and severe depression. Count yourself warned. Go read something else if you don’t like grimdark.

***

“TWO FEET NOT FOUR! NOT A SINGLE INCH MORE!”

The crowd chanted loudly, waving their signs with myriad slogans on them; things like “ponies go home!” and “god hates newfoals!”. Mike was one of them. He booed and yelled with the rest outside the barricaded, blocked and closed doors of the final Conversion Bureau in his home city-state. The windows, which had once been pristine and clear as diamond, were now scuffed, cracked in places. He glared inside, the damned ponies were doing it to the last human. It didn’t take long. He remembered the roaring cheering crowds of a few years past as the ‘newfoals’ stepped out of the ponification stations, unsteady on their new hooves and blinking in the sunlight.

He had stood there as his job was taken from him along with co-workers and friends - the damned ponies caused it all, the economy was in ruins - and he had finally stood up and said no.

He had taken his family, made a solemn vow, they would never listen to this false hope and the lies of those damned pony-folk. Michael, his wife Lucie, their two kids brought up in the ways of God, named Adam and Eve - they were so blessed. In a way he felt triumphant despite their hardships, these were surely the last days of the old order, the righteous would stand anew in a world shorn of the poisonous entreaties of these false prophets.

The roar of the crowd grew in intensity as the last human came clopping out inside, looking forlorn and sad. Mike was sure he regretted losing his humanity, becoming just an animal, but it was too late for him now. They had him. Rotten fruit, bottles, sticks - any weapon the mob could get their hands on were used to either throw at or hammer on the windows. He fingered the gun in his pocket - it would never go through the glass, but if they stepped outside, he’d be able to remove at least one of them, maybe more.

“Hands not hooves! Hands not hooves!” went up the cry, louder as inside a light blue unicorn stepped up carefully to the door before lowering her horn as if to charge. With a flash of light a new banner appeared that read, before it was ripped down and set on fire, simply “Closed”

“We’ve won!” went up a cheer, and the violence and hatred towards the child-stealing four-legged monsters redoubled. The ponies in the building with their new charge didn’t even try to exit the building this time. They just teleported away.

Mike listened to the activity online via his spinal implant - all across the planet, the “humans first” crowd were squirting celebratory, congratulatory and other confirmative messages that the Conversion Bureaus, every single last one, were shutting down. The ponies were going or gone. This was a grand day! He felt like calling his wife and kids, they’d be home - Lucie had recently lost her job as a chemist too after AI constructs took over.

He frowned when he tried and got a busy signal. Busy was...not possible. No, he checked, network busy. He was still trying to urge his implant to reconnect when there was a prickling sensation across his skin and the sky lit up. He looked up in horror at the face of the beast, Celestia herself appeared to crowds of horrified, amazed human onlookers the world over.

“People of Earth, humans, friends - I wish to take this chance to speak to you one last time. Our age upon this planet draws to a close, we retreat to our own realm, our task finished. We relieve you of the burden of overpopulation, taking those humans with us who wish to join our carefree society as ponies like myself.”

“Boo! Monster! Soul Stealer!” Mike found himself shouting, spitting, yelling and throwing debris at the image in impotent rage. Unsurprisingly the image never flinched, never even acknowledged his existence.

“We came in peace. We leave in peace. Thanks to your generous gift - for nopony can be forced to join Equestria - we are now plentiful enough, joyful enough, powerful enough, to go our separate ways. We go now, we will leave your reality to it’s own special future. Whatever you make of it, free beings, have our blessing. As we go though, know this, we love you all and offer nothing but friendship. We always did, and to cement that friendship though we will never again cross paths, I offer one last opportunity to accept our gifts. As we move beyond this realm, for a few moments, each and every one of you upon the face of the planet may choose. The Conversion Bureaus stand empty, but for those who never made the journey, never fear, for we come to you.”

Then the prickling inflamed his skin, and his vision clouded. Unused to life without his implants, using what was left of his standard vision was almost painful, but the sight that greeted him was beautiful, a paradise. Waving grass, blue skies, free of the pollution and grime, free of the degradation and ruins, free of the slogans and graffiti. Pure, natural.

“No, No, I will not...I refuse!” he found himself saying, falling to his knees. He had strength. He had The Book, it had told him such would happen, temptation! Lies!

His family appeared in front of him, bewildered. Whatever this magic was that the ponies wielded, it was strong and seductive, but they would...he would...

“Oh Mike,” said Lucie, “I...I never dreamed it could be like this! It’s...beautiful! It’s heaven!”

“Oh Lucie, no! No! Not you too...fight it, fight this...this disease! Stay human! In His Image we were created, this seductive, evil, wicked, sinful vision must be resisted!”

“But Dad,” said his kids together, already the transformation overtaking them, “this is wonderful! It’s ace!”

“I can fly!” said Adam, swooping in joy, no longer the auburn-haired, brown-eyed cheeky boy he should be, but a perversion of flesh made solid. He had become a pegasus. His beautiful daughter, ruined forever by the evil brush of the sun tyrant, was now a cream-coloured unicorn. His wife...he wept, his dear wife was a unicorn too. He turned from them, hot tears in his eyes, “go! Go and take your heathen ways with you. Traitors! You traitors! You,” he spat, eyes flashing, tearing his hair and clothes as the seductive song of the pegasus form sung to him too, of carefree days in the sun, flitting about in the clouds, nature in all its glory just for him, “I can’t. It’s wrong. The book says so. We...we’re made in his image.”

“Dad...no...”

“Mike, please, ple-”

The vision started to fade, and the image of Celestia looked both joyful and sad, “dear human friends, those who joined Equestria will sing of you for the rest of their days. We go now, our realm is complete, our hearts full. We leave you one, final, gift. From our time upon your plane, the land you called Equestria now stands vacant, pristine. It is my gift to you, it is a mere shadow of its former glory but it will sustain you and your kind for aeons if treated correctly. With my blessings upon you, we depart.

Just like that, the prickling sensation, the electronic glitches, the huge image of the tyrant pony overlord disappeared. He sat down on the pavement, finding it hard to believe. He had resisted temptation. He had been found worthy.

Why then...why was his heart so heavy?

The cheers around him rose in volume, the “humans first” groups had won. There were no more ponies. He looked down at the floor, what a cost...he found himself doodling idly, still numb, his internal victory should have been triumphant, what was wrong?

He noted idly the shapes he was drawing. Cutie marks. Celestia, the sun tyrant, he had drawn hers. Then Luna’s, the seducer. Then Twilight’s, the false prophet and evening star...he stared hard at them and his heart sank.

Not the sun, but the son - come once again in a new form, bearing not a flaming sword but a flaming horn.

The seducer, the evening star - no, they were the bringers of light, not the beast and false prophet, their real words hidden behind the falseness he had assumed for them. They hadn’t left the faithful, they’d taken the faithful, those who turned the other cheek, shunned violence, who had let love into their hearts.

“They took the faithful. It’s the rapture...oh god, it’s the rapture - and we were left behind!”

“what was that? He said they took the faithful...but...aren’t we...?” the whispers started, and turned to shouts, and turned to screams, and turned to fighting, breaking of bottles, as those around him realised the ugly truth.

The air-raid sirens wailed, news from the net came in that China had invaded Equestria from the South, Russia from the North and Europe from the West - the land that the Glorious American Empire had decreed was theirs, and was even now set to liberate via the Eastern route. Nobody was sure who had fired the first shot, but the thermonuclear missiles were on their way.

Michael didn’t care.

He had been lied to, they had offered friendship, love, understanding, a simple life - carefree, without sickness, without want - sealed away in Equestria, safe from harm. Thousands, millions, the world over. Spirited away from this world, never to return.

She had come in the sky, and every eye had seen her, even those who sought to pierce her with their weapons, to take her life. She had split the firmament open and revealed her new world, laid bare for them, and those who had seen had accepted her. She had wiped away every tear, made everything as new, the old order...his world, his sick, cold, angry, doomed world, was gone. And he with it.

The old world truly had passed away.

He burst into tears as the crowd became a mob, the mob an army, and the army nothing but a roving pack of animals. The first bright flashes rocked his vision, the blastwaves yet to come. He fingered the gun, no longer in his pocket but against his head. He prayed, for the first and last time, truly, in his life - and he prayed to Celestia. If she didn’t hear him, it wouldn’t matter.

“Our goddess,” he said, sniffing, closing his eyes, “who art in Equestri-”

He pulled the trigger.

Gypsy

An MLP:FiM fanfic by Midnight Shadow

Co-Written by Sir Issac Johnington

Set loosely in The Conversion Bureau universe, by Blaze

WIP, incomplete, readable First Draft.

Note: I’m falling over myself writing this, so it’s rough, but I’ve been sitting on it for about two months. So here, have a WIP. The ending’s there, but the epilogue is missing. The middle is foreshortened.

***

His prey was moving swiftly, if noisily, through the ruined city blocks, picking its way between cars and rubble with relative ease. He, on the other hand, was having a hell of a time staying hidden, silent and close. He wasn’t sure what it was but he was pretty sure he could eat it. He was hungry; he hadn’t found food in days and rats weren’t very nutritious. Water was running low, ammo was running low. Clean socks were a distant memory. It was a few moments before he realised he’d lost the trail.

“Come on you bastard,” he swore under his breath, “where did you...”

He whirled, knife upraised to strike, as a four-legged demon whinnied loudly and struck it’s forehooves at him. He rolled to the side and came up to a crouch, muscles tense, ready to spring...

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” said the creature. With shock and dismay he realised it was a pony; a cream-coloured unicorn with hazel-brown mane and tail and deep brown eyes. He could see she had three stars and moon as a cutie-mark, though they were badly covered with dirt and grime. She skittered and eyed him nervously.

“I...” he’d dropped the knife in surprise and scrambled to pick it up, “you talk.”

The unicorn pony snorted in derision, with head still lowered, she pawed at the ground, “haven’t you seen the news, Bub? Lots of us ponies talk. What the hell, were you going to try to eat me?”

The man looked down at the knife in his hand and shrugged, putting it away, “Not now I know you talk. I may be starving, but I’m not a cannibal.”

“You must be delirious because unless you haven’t noticed, we’re not the same species.”

“You talk. That makes you a person. I don’t eat people.” the man did his best to look apologetic.

“I’m glad to hear you say that. My name’s Gypsy,” the pony held out a hoof, expectantly, “this is the bit where you introduce yourself, tell me your name.”

“Mack,” blurted Mack, “pleased to meet you, I guess, even though you’ve spoiled my dinner plans.” he took her hoof and shook it, grinning ruefully.

“About that,” said Gypsy, “I might be able to make it up to you...”

***

Mack followed Gypsy back through the city. It was pretty much back the way he’d been tracking for the last few hours, but it wasn’t like he had anything important to do or anywhere special to go. Nobody did, anymore, not out here in what was once again being referred to as the Great American Desert; he just drifted, doing what he could to stay alive. Truth be told, this was his first speaking companion in almost a month if you didn’t count the rats, foxes, wild dogs and other animals slowly reclaiming the ruined city center.

As the sun went slowly down in the sky and afternoon turned to evening, the pony led the way to an abandoned building. It seemed to be part hardware store, part residence and mostly intact. Gypsy had broken down a door and made herself a comfortable nest on sawdust, lining the room with her few meager posessions.

“I don’t eat wood shavings and rusty tools, ma’am.” said Mack with a smirk.

“I was going to welcome you to my humble abode, but now...”

“Forgive me li’l miss. It’s a mighty nice place you got here, Gypsy.” said Mack, tipping his hat and taking off his gun and ammo belt, laying his pack on the ground before settling himself against a wall and wiping his brow.

“Thank you. Now as I was saying, I think I have lunch...or more exactly dinner.” the pony nosed open the door to a storeroom which she had blocked closed with a plank of wood. Sticking her head in and pulling out a few cans, one at a time, she poked them with a hoof, “I think both of us can eat like a princess with these, if you can open them. I can’t so easily; Hooves, no thumbs, see?”

“Ah, the food of the gods. You may regret it later, but I think we can eat this.”

“Regret? Having food?”

Mack grinned, “They’re tins of beans.”

***

A hoof shook him awake. He stirred quickly at the unfamiliar contact. A muzzle with overlarge and troubled eyes was above him in the semi-darkness.

“What’s-”

“Sshhh, feral dogs.” hissed Gypsy

“I’ll get my gun and knife.” whispered Mack, getting up silently to gather his weapons.

“They probably won’t get in, but...”

There was some growling on the other side of the door, and scratching. The pair looked at each other grimly.

“That door’s blocked, right?” asked Mack

“I did my best.” replied Gypsy, lowering her head and pawing the ground.

“Let’s hope it’s good enough. Sit down, lie down, come on. We’ll sit tight, we’ll be ready.”

The pair snuggled up close with their backs against the wall, wriggling to get comfortable on the sawdust. Mack placed his gun across his lap and his long hunting-knife down by his side. Gypsy put her head on her forehooves and they both watched the door. There was barking, whining and scratching outside, but the barrier never gave way. Slowly they drifted off into a fitful sleep.

***

Mack opened his eyes and stretched. He ached, despite years of sleeping relatively rough he’d never gotten used to it. He was, however, more comfortable this morning than he remembered being for a long while. Perhaps it was thanks to the steadily inflating and deflating flank of the small unicorn pony that he was enjoying as a pillow. She was warm and soft, and snoring. He snorted, rolling his eyes, getting up as silently and gently as possible. The dogs were gone, the sun was up and after the meal last night, especially as it had been beans, he needed to see to certain pressing issues. The water in the house, in old yet intact hot-water tanks, was stale and tepid but appeared relatively drinkable. He didn’t have much choice, though he would boil it first.

He whistled nonchalantly and quietly, almost under his breath. Daytime was usually safer than night, but it didn’t do to take chances. In this world, you were careful or you were dead. His footsteps as he re-entered the room woke the sleeping pony, who looked up with bleary eyes at him in sleepy confusion. She yawned. He hadn’t seen a pony up close for a long time, he’d forgotten how sweet and innocent they looked. The face of the enemy; cute, candy-coloured, bubble-gum fragranced bringers of mankind’s doom. He shook his head, the time for such feelings was well past. The majority of mankind were now ponykind - and how can you hate your brothers and sisters? They didn’t stop being people just because they had hooves instead of hands and feet, so what had stopped him?

“Always the same question,” he said under his breath, and blinked, looking back up at the pony.

“You alright, Mack? For a moment...you looked angry.”

“Aye li’l missy, I was. For a moment,” he made appeasement gestures with his hands, “a long time ago, another life, and I thought I had something to prove, something to hate in ponies. Now...”

“You don’t?”

“Aye,” he said again, “I can’t hate the pony-folk, most of you were us. I’m...sad is all. Sad for the sunrises that mankind will never see. Our world is dying...no, our way of life is dying. We didn’t have it all going our way before you arrived but after? It all went South, and a little East from where I’m standing.”

“I...what?”

“We would have worked it out, Missy. We could’ve solved all our problems, before the best and brightest of us gave up to go roll in the hay, but now? How many humans are there left?”

“Maybe...a billion?” guessed Gypsy, “I hear far lower numbers bandied about but our records on ponifications are pretty accurate. Most of the numbers lower than that are serious F-U-D.”

“That many huh? Well we’re all spread out across the great wide world of ours, too few and far between for that critical mass of dirty, sweaty, thinking, urgent primates necessary for civilisation. A billion humans. No, half that...but nine billion Equestrians. I don’t know how you fit on that small island of yours.”

“It’s hardly a small island anymore, but...to be honest we don’t. We’ve...acquired plots of land all over the planet and joined them to Equestria. Under Princess Celestia and Princess Luna’s blessing they flourish again, green and verdant, thanks to our earth ponies. Thanks to ‘Earth’ ponies I guess I should say.”

Mack smiled a wry smile, “Doesn’t sting any less that for all your talk, you’ve taken our land.”

“You said it yourself Bub,” snorted Gypsy, “all those humans turned Equestrian have to live somewhere. We’ve taken the land and given it right back.”

“Aye, Missy, that you did, that you did. Makes me wonder why you’re out here.”

“I’m out here...” The unicorn took a breath, “I’m out here studying you. People like you, I mean. The last vestiges of humanity. The ones who won’t or can’t become ponies. What makes you tick, what makes your society tick.”

“It’s a bit late for that, Gypsy,” said Mack as he looked out the window, “you killed us with kindness.”

“I think not, Mack. I found you, after all. Your turn. Why are you here?”

“I like being a human, I guess,” he said, after a pause, “and I intend to be one until I draw my last breath.”

“In that case, let’s see about breakfast.”

“Aye, Missy, we should...how about corned beef?”

“Yuck. I’m a vegetarian.”

“I meant for me. For you, there’s...uh...sauerkraut? And beans?”

“Beans, again?”

“Dangerous I know, but we’ll not be needing a fire until later, so we should be safe enough.”

***

The days wore on into weeks and a rhythm was established. Mack would make breakfast and boil water, Gypsy would scout the perimeter. They’d have breakfast then patrol together. They weren’t looking for anything in particular; searching for signs of life, trading where they could, scavenging where they couldn’t. At night they’d huddle together and talk.

Mack would run his fingers down Gypsy’s mane, teasing the curls and removing detritus. He’d scratch at mud and flick away parasites, not that there were many. She’d never told him what that meant to a pony, the mutual grooming. She was afraid he’d stop. She’d lip at his hair when he’d lie down next to her and he’d swat playfully at her muzzle with his hat. Eventually she’d hear him snoring.

One night they lay there face to face. The stray dogs had moved on, the few he’d killed with his guns had convinced them to find easier prey elsewhere. The night was warm, the sawdust comfortable, the way the moon shed her light on his features...Gypsy shook herself. What sort of man was he? She decided he was the right sort, whatever that meant.

She bent her head, very, very carefully and pressed her soft velvety lips to his and kissed him, as lightly as she could - just a brush - drawing back when he answered in kind. He never stirred from his sleep though. She lay there, panting, blushing in the semi-darkness as the snores resumed. She sighed and rolled ever so slightly closer. He put his arm over her and pressed his face to her neck, snoring into her mane. It tickled, and a warm happy glow filled her body as she, too, finally let sleep embrace her.

***

Gypsy yawned as she woke up. The comforting weight of Mack supporting himself against her chest brought a smile to her face. He snored, she tried to ignore it but he was adorable when he snored. She gently nuzzled him awake as she would a foal. He murmured some faintly disapproving noises and batted at her with his hand but she wouldn’t give in. When he finally woke up he lay still for several minutes, just blinking at the wall and staring into space.

“Mack?” asked Gypsy softly, “You alright?”

The human shook himself and then turned to look at the pony, “Yeah, I’m alright Missy. I’m all alright.” he got to his feet and stretched, cracking and popping joints.

“I still don’t get why you’re out here, Mack. How...how long are you planning to stay?” she added in a small voice.

He looked down at her and blinked, before getting to his knees and lifting up her forehoof and giving it a kiss, “Princess, I’ll stay as long as you want me to. It’s not like I have anywhere to go. The summer’s long in these parts, I can stay a while, tag along with you if you’ll have me.”

“I won’t stay here forever, Mack,” she said in the same small voice, studying his weather-lined face for hints of his true emotions.

“Nothing lasts forever, Gypsy, but let’s go for all we can get, eh?”

***

Mack and Gypsy were hunting again. The pony was dirty, very dirty, and he wasn't much better...but most of all they were hungry. They had water – it tasted funny although it seemed safe enough after boiling thoroughly – but the diet of beans was grating. Gypsy had agreed to the hunting expedition on the grounds that at least she'd be able to get out in the relatively safe sunshine and maybe catch a few mouthfuls of the various plants found throughout the city.

“I'm not convinced they're good for you, Gypsy,” said Mack, making a face.

“Naa, I'm a unicorn. We have a nose for poisons.”

“That include heavy metals?” asked Mack, raising an eyebrow

“It does for me at least.” Gypsy nodded, smirking.

“You been scanning our water too?”

“I don't 'scan' ...but yes.”

The city seemed strangely deserted – even for a wrecked metropolis, this was too empty. Mack's teeth were on edge and he stalked even more carefully through the dystopian landscape than usual. Gypsy could obviously feel it, she was as skittish as a foal and was balking at every loud noise.

“I don't like this, my gal.”

“Since when am I your gal?” asked Gypsy with an amazed expression on her muzzle.

“Since you're the only gal I got, Gypsy. I care about you.”

“Sweet of you, Mack, what do you want?” snorted Gypsy, ears flat against her head

“I want you to stay safe...and there's something wrong here. Stay back.”

Mack stepped out of hiding, there was something...just wrong about the landscape in front of him. He prowled around the undergrowth until his leg touched something. He swore and ducked, but it was too late. With an audible twang the wire snapped and what had previously looked like debris was propelled through the air until it slammed over his head, a very crude but effective cage. Seemingly in moments the trap was surrounded by humans, more than they'd seen in weeks. Gypsy galloped towards Mack and was about to use her magic to lift it off when one of the humans leaped at her and put his hand on her horn, forcing her head down.

“You get your filthy hands off my pony!” yelled Mack, and whipped out his hunting knife. With a single smooth motion he drew back his arm and hurled it. The blade slid effortlessly between the 'bars' of the cage and buried itself deep within the man's neck. He keeled over, clutching it, spitting blood.

“To me, Gypsy, come here. If you run they'll have you.”

“I hope you know what you're doing, Mack.” said the pony in a small voice. She lowered her head and her horn started to glow. Reaching painfully through the steel grate barrier, Mack retrieved his knife and held it ready again.

“Woah, woah, woah, hey...I don't think we need any more of that sort of thing.” said a new voice. A large man, several days' worth of stubble adorning his features, forced his way through the crowd to stand within a few feet of the pair. Mack hefted his blade, and Gypsy lowered her horn experimentally.

“Close enough, Bub.” said Mack.

“We're all...civilised folk here. I'm not going to do anything to your girlfriend.”

“She's my pony and I won't have you touch her none. You might not think ponies are worth much, but I'll make you pay for it in men if you harm so much as a hair on her hide.”

“Heeeyyy, hey, easy now. I was going to offer you a place in our esteemed organisation, but if you're going to shack up with a pony you get to sleep with them proper. You're our new meat, buddy boy, and you'll pay for knifing Leon. We're behind schedule as it is. A goddamn week and all we get is you two losers. Ship ‘em out, boys.”

“Schedule? What schedule? Who are these people, Mack?”

“Can't you tell? This trap was designed for a pony. These are the HLF.”

***

As the truck they’d been bundled into jounced and jostled it’s way through badly-repaired roads, Gypsy took stock of the situation. She’d heard of the HLF, who hadn’t? She'd even tangled with them a few times. A few enthusiastic and overall stupid fellows had put their hands on her on a number of occasions. She'd torn each one of them a new blow-hole, one of which at least wasn't going to grow back. This time she’d gone relatively quietly for fear of what they’d do to Mack. The man had been free with his blade and had been restrained by way of beating him all but senseless and throwing him bodily into the filthy straw-covered van along with Gypsy. As she turned back from staring at the now-locked double doors of the van, Mack groaned and sat up.

Gypsy nuzzled him, “Welcome back to the land of the living.”

“Just about,” said Mack, clearing his throat and rubbing his temple.

“Why did you protect me?” asked Gypsy softly.

“I told you, I care about you.”

“But you let them think...that you and I...”

“Let them think what they want. It'll keep them off balance. Besides, you're pretty cute... for a pony.”

“Now I know you're delirious!”

Mack laughed, and then held his head, “If you want to know why I haven't joined the HLF when I so obviously don't want to be a pony, well it's because they're scum. I want what's best for the human race. They want what's best for themselves.”

“That's pretty harsh damnation of your kind.”

“We are, or were, numerous. As many types of people as there were people. We're overall not a bad sort but we do know full well how to be complete bastards. There are some people - the kind and gentle folk - who wouldn’t hurt a fly. They’ve all become ponies by now. Then there’s the rest; the violent, dangerous types. Sometimes I think they’re all that’s left in this world.”

“What does that make you?” asked the pony softly, putting her head in his lap.

“Sometimes I wonder, Gypsy, sometimes I wonder.”

Gypsy shuffled next to him, nuzzling his bruises, “I want to go home, Mack.”

“To Equestria?” he answered softly

The pony shook her head, “No, back to our place, that house I found. I’d even eat beans again to just be back there.”

Mack laughed, a barking noise that devolved into coughing, “You miss playing house with Old Mackey here?”

Now it was the unicorn’s turn to laugh. She nodded freely, “I do.”

“We’ll get home again, Missy. Don’t you worry.”

“I hope so.”

Softly, Mack began to croon an old song, “Home, home on the range...”

Gypsy snorted, “Silly lump, aren’t you?”

“I’m not the one feeling homesick. Quiet now...Home, home on the range - where the dragon and manticore play...”

“Changing the words? How droll.”

“Where ponies are born, with a magical horn, and pegasi fly ‘round all daaaayyy-heeeee...”

Gypsy put her head on his lap, snuggling closer, “Well alright, you can sing a bit more if you want.” She looked up when Mack was silent. “What is it?”

“I can’t think of any more lyrics.” said Mack, blushing, “Never did have a head for songs.”

She hoofed him lightly on the forearm, “you’re a daft one, Mack.”

“Would you have me any other way, Missy?”

“Definitely not.” Gypsy set her head back down in his lap and he idly ran his fingers through her mane until they both slept.

***

It was a long time later when they finally stopped. The truck doors were opened on man and equine curled up in one corner, as far away from the other corner as possible. Leeroy and Gruber waved their hands in front of their faces.

“Pee-yew you two animals stink.” said Leeroy - a large lean man with stubble for hair and a slice across one cheek from an old knife-wound of some sort. He put his hands on the pomel of his guns and leered - mostly at the backside of the pony that was pointed towards the doors.

Mack stirred first and patted Gypsy in a silent gesture to stay low, “We’d not have to resort to fouling the bedding if you’d have let us out for pitstops on the way, you know.”

“Like we want to lose either of you two, after all the trouble the Boss went to to getcha.” said Gruber, hefting a machete over one shoulder, his black skin glistening in the sunlight. Times were, thought Mack to himself, one of those two would have hung the other. Now they’d rather pull out my eyeballs fuck the sockets in turns for my hanging out with fourlegs here. Strange old world.

“Get up. Get out.” said Leeroy, gesturing with Mack’s hunting knife.

“First you’ll be giving me back my knife, son,” said Mack, balling a fist with his right hand and pointing his index finger at the pair, “I’ll pull your wagon or whatever shit-task it is you think me an’ my gal are worthy of, but you’ll give me back my knife or I’ll blow your fucking head off. Subdermal bone mod, Leeroy, index finger. Pew, pew, pew. You got me? Now slide my knife on over here real easy and I won’t have to paint the doors with the shit you call brains, okay?”

Leeroy grimaced and sneered, “How do I know you ain’t just yankin’ my chain?”

“All I want’s my knife, Lee. Man and his knife’s not a thing you separate. Same as a man and his gal, am I right?”

The knife was slid across the floor, Mack bent down carefully to pick it up. After he'd slid it back into his holster, he uncurled his fist and blew on the fingers.

"Fuck! You don't have no fucking subdermal bone mod in dat finger!"

"Nope, my index finger is as normal as yours...actually, if your Momma was your sister as I think she was, then mine's probably more normal."

"Fuck you, pony-fucker! I'm gonna..."

"I do have, however, my knife. And I've a good throwing-arm. Now back off, my princess and I are gettin' out of our carriage. Wake up Missy," Mack bent low and deliberately kissed Gypsy on the ear, whispering, "you'd better pretend to be groggy. I don't know if we've got a chance but the easier they think we are to handle, the better."

The unicorn stirred, shaking her head. She looked sleepily at Mack and yawned. Getting to her feet took a while. Gruber slammed the blunt edge of his machete on the chipboard floor, "Get the fuck up."

"Boys, boys, our guests..." came the voice of the head honcho, dripping with sarcasm and malice.

"Good morning, Bubba." said Mack, sneering, hand moving to his knife.

"Bubba? I should introduce myself. Jack, Jack Hodgson. Head of the HLF. All of the HLF. The last of the HLF. At your service. I believe you know Gruber and Leeroy." The heavy from last time strode into view, now dressed in a meticulous white suit and white fedora.

"You? The last? Hardly."

"The last that count, meat. Care to introduce yourselves?"

"Mack, and this here's ma' princess. You ain't gonna lay a hand on her, see?"

"No, no - not if you co-operate." Hodgson spat on the ground, "I was going to offer you a position in my band of merry men, but I see you're...otherwise inclined. Pity."

"You obviously need me..."

"I need your pony, meatsack."

"You get the both of us, package deal. I'll..."

"Pull my wagon, yes, I heard. You can keep the knife. You can keep your ‘princess’, too. You'll be seeing a lot of her. You want to be meat so bad, you can be meat. You'll pull your weight, Mack, and then some. Maybe you'll beg me to give you four legs under the strain."

"I'm human, Hodgson, I will be 'till my last breath."

"How exemplary. Well, if you change your mind, we've still got some potion here, don't know if it's viable any more. Times were, we could check these things. We used to use it on the recruits that didn't measure up...but slim pickings and all that. This way."

***

Hodgson led the way through the complex. Mack kept one hand on Gypsy and one hand on his knife, eyes skirting about for trouble. Whenever a passer-by got too close he'd tighten his grip on the handle. Most of the people he saw had a sad, defeated look on them. A few looked angry, belligerent. Mack could have cut the tension with his knife.

The buildings were a curious mixture - the site was obviously old and had been abandoned at some point in the past, but nano-tech rebuilds showed where white marble and plasteel towered above squat concrete element-block housing and corrugated tin roofs. Nano-tech...the world had been so afraid of grey goo it had not quite reached it's potential before the ponies showed up. Now...it likely never would.

"What do you see about you, Mack?" asked Hodgson.

"Decay. Fear."

"How dramatic. I see progress, humanity. Do you want to know what we're building out here?"

"I'm pretty sure that's what you're going to have me 'assist' with, Bub."

"Indeed. Let me show you. A few years ago now, humanity made one last abortive attempt to reach the stars."

"You mean that colony job that went South?"

"I do. Three of the finest, proudest, most advanced ships ever created were sent into the deep black. Everyone died."

"Thanks to bastards like you, saboutaging the flight."

"Scuttlebutt is that two ships made it, limping together. They set off for the Rim. I hear stories, Mack, about strange transmissions received from unknown beacons. I've been hearing them for years. I decided to do something about it."

"But how? We don't have the tech..."

"Oh yes, yes we do. They never, ever build just one when they can build two. There are three more ships. One is in orbit, never completed, Hawking drive ticking over. One is in the space museum, castrated, gutted and left to rot for those four-hooved fuckers to gawk at. One...is here."

"You have a Bradley-Yakamura Ingen?" hissed Mack, as the great double-doors big enough to drive a sky-scraper through sideways were thrown open to reveal a massive, stubby, winged shining space-bird. It was massive. Thousands of tons of plasteel, plastic and hydraulics with an engine so powerful it could run most of the planet all by itself. It lay humming softly in the monumental hangar, caged but...Mack could almost feel the raw power bleeding from it. His skin prickled as he looked the once-forgotten future in the eye.

"I have the Bradley-Yakamura Ingen. The last one. Mostly fueled, almost patched up, partially stocked and supplied and almost ready for lift-off."

"Fuck me." said Mack, blinking.

"You're hardly my type, but I appreciate the offer."

Mack gulped, "I'll...I'll do it. But I'm not letting you have Gypsy."

"Then you and I see more eye to eye than I thought."

Mack whirled, hand on his knife. The clicking of safeties on various guns surrounding him and his pony barely held him in check, "Get this straight. You and I? Nothing in common. I'll help you build this bird, but I'm with the ponies. I picked my side, Bub, and I'm not going back on my word."

"Shame. I thought showing you what we were building would change your mind."

"Fuck you, Hodgson, you're not building something new or different, you're just making sure you've got a captive audience. You're going to spurt your seed to the galaxy and wipe it off on the dregs of humanity you've coerced or shamed into coming with you."

Hodgson leaned closer, "Better that than go out on all fours, pony-fucker. We're done. Send him below, men, we'll see if a night in the stables will change his tune."

Four large bruisers closed in on the pair. Mack stuck one hand out, clawed and ready for action, with his other on the pommel of his knife, "We're going, guys, we're going peacefully. Come any closer and you'll lose your fingers. Hard to explain to the boss why you can't tie your shoes any more, huh? If you can already, that is."

"Fuck you, Mack," said Leeroy, brandishing his gun.

"It's not gonna be worth it to pull that trigger, Lee, so back off."

"One of these days, Mack, just you and me."

"We'll dance, Lee, just not today."

Mack and Gypsy, who'd remained silent throughout the ordeal even at the sight of the hefty multi-thousand-tonne spaceship, were herded down a ramp through some heavy doors. Mack covered his mouth and nose, the air was fetid and dank.

"Mack? There's...ponies down here."

"The work-crew, my gal. They've press-ganged a bunch of newfoals I think. Building a space-ship without fuel for heavy lifting means muscle-power."

Gypsy closed her eyes as the heavy doors were slammed shut. Her horn burst into soft pink light that illuminated the squalid living conditions they found themselves in. Mack set his teeth grimly, it was so much worse than he had hoped.

"Are you...gonna hurt us?" asked a small voice, "LIke the other ones?"

Mack looked down, a foal was hiding between the legs of his mother. Both were emaciated. Mack shook his head, wiping tears out of his eyes, "I'm not gonna hurt ya, little one. I...I've got a little to eat if you'll have it."

Mack reached into his pocket and pulled out a rolled bag he'd kept for emergencies. He wasn't sure ponies could eat it, but it could hardly do them worse than going without. He bit off a lump from one of the thick, chewy protein strips and ate it slowly and obviously before proffering it to first the mother and then the foal. She lowered her head and pawed the ground but let him give a piece to her child. The foal bit it gingerely. He soon pulled a larger lump off and chewed it with gusto. Mack smiled and shared out the strips to those who would take it.

"We're...friends." said Gypsy, eyeing the ragged crowd, "We're not going to hurt you. I...I can help heal your sick."

"Can you grow wings back? Or horns?" asked a voice. A light blue pegasus with soft pink mane stepped forwards. Gypsy gasped. His wings had been hacked off leaving just stumps. Mack stretched out a hand, the pony shied away. He noticed unicorns with stumps on their foreheads, standing well back. He grit his teeth.

"N-no...no I can't. Not here." said Gypsy in a faint voice, "Not wings. I might be able to regrow a horn or two."

"We'll...we'll get you out. All of you." Mack looked around the room, and finally back to Gypsy. She nodded, and he rubbed his hands together, "First though, let's see what we can do. I don't have much clothing but I'll make bandages for those who need them. Gypsy - you're good with scanning for trouble. They must feed these guys, is it safe?"

Gypsy shook herself, "The food is...bad. Edible, just, for very lax standards of 'edible' but it won't kill you."

"Then first thing tomorrow I'll see about getting conditions here improved. They want their work done quicker, they need to feed the workers."

"Just what the fuck do you think will make those HLF bastards listen to you?" asked the blue wingless pegasus.

"I'm human. They can justify mistreating you newfoals, but with all the bullshit they're spouting about protecting humanity I'm hoping I'll at least make things less awful."

"Don't fucking kid yourself, Buddy."

"It's Mack, Mack and Gypsy."

"Mack then."

Mack stood up from where he'd been kneeling down to talk face-to-face to the pegasus, "Okay then, we've got a unicorn in the house. She's pretty good at tending wounds and healing what ails you. Make two lines, those who need wounds dressed to me. Those with something more delicate or demanding, to her. It's going to be a long night. Everyone else get some sleep."

"Who died and made you boss? Who fucking asked you here anyway, goddamn monkey."

Gypsy rounded on the pegasus, "If you want me to even attempt to take a look at those wings you'll shut up and do as he says."

"Gypsy's the boss, Trigger." said Mack with a black laugh.

"Tradewind's my name, Mack. You can call me Trader."

"Pleased to meetcha, Trader. Now if you won't do as I say, do as she says."

***

The night was long and Mack had torn most of his clothing up by the time they'd finished. Gypsy had regrown three unicorn's horns and had at least eased the pain of several score of pegasi. The grinding squeal of the heavy bar being lifted stirred Mack from his nest-bed, curled up with Gypsy, surrounded on all sides by other ponies. Some cried softly in their sleep, stubbed wings flapping and hooves jogging through memories of happier days.

"Rise and shine, pony-fucker, time to get the herd moving - hope you're not too exhausted from last night's orgy."

"Fuck you, Gruber. One of these days I'm going to kill you."

"If you last a week I'll fucking kill you myself. Pot's at a twenty packets of cigarettes that you don't make out the month. Now get the fuck up before I cut your nuts off."

Mack, with Gypsy at his side, moved out into sunlight. Slowly the herd behind him filed out. Their heads were bowed low, the spark in their eyes dimmed...but maybe, just maybe, thought Gypsy as she caught sidelong glances between ponies she'd helped, there was also a glimmer of something resembling hope.

***

True to his word, Hodgson made sure Mack pulled his weight. He was hitched up by a laughing, jeering crowd of bullies to the same harnesses that the rest of the herd were hooked up to. They were lashed mercilessly with whips as encouragement, as huge banks of supplies and hardware were dragged bodily across the boiling tarmac to be lifted into place by teams of ponies dragging winches and pulleys.

True to his word, Mack argued for better food for the herd - his herd. They slammed him in with the ponies at night and took every opportunity to remind him of his station. Hodgson's men never tired of the jeers and catcalls and lewd physical motions. Mack ignored it, he could see the hungry looks in their eyes. He could see there were only men around the facility. He began to plan as he worked, toiled and slaved, filing away what information he could glean for later use. The food improved, marginally. It was no longer fouled and rotten, but it didn't improve much beyond scraps and mashed refuse.

Days wore on into weeks until one night Gypsy confronted Mack in anger, "What the fuck are we doing here, Mack? Why aren't we getting out of here?"

Mack sighed, "Gypsy I...I've got to see this through."

"They're going to kill us all when that ship goes up, you know that."

"Yeah, I know Gypsy, I know. They've got us holed up in the compression chamber, don't think I don't know why there's four sets of doors to this place and such a high ceiling."

"Then what the hell are we doing, Mack? We've got to be getting out of here!"

"I've been paying attention, my gal. We're two weeks from liftoff, more or less, though it could go up tonight. They're not going to do anything before we finish loading the last of the supplies."

"How do you know when that is? What are we going to do?"

"We're not going to do anything. I'm going to take out Hodgson's goons and then I'm going to take out Hodgson and then we're going to get all these ponies out of here. It's not about you or me anymore, nor these ponies. Hodgson's evil, Gypsy, evil of a sort I've not seen in the flesh. Ask yourself this - where are the women? That ship up above us is a colony-ship. He's not planning on some meaningless jaunt! He's going colonizing."

"What do you mean?"

"You ponies...you're stuck down here on Earth - even the pegasi. Humans have always looked up and our reach has always exceeded our grasp...but not any more. With that ship, he can take himself and his own private harem and slave army to the stars. I don't know where he's heading; maybe the moon, maybe mars, maybe the asteroid belt or the oort cloud but he's not coming back. He doesn't just want to fuck us over, he wants to fuck everyone over. He ceased being HLF when he cobbled together this mad scheme and enough bruisers to make it happen. I've got to save the poor fuckers he's got locked up on that ship as well as you and your ponies."

Gypsy was silent for a moment, thinking, "If you think I'm going to sit here whilst you galavant about..."

"I'm not a nice person, Gypsy. All the sweet, kind, caring humans went pony years ago. Only us bastards are left."

"Bullshit, Mack, you're a decent human being. Maybe the last."

"I'm a murdering, thieving, conniving bastard, Gypsy."

"Then I just have to hope that somewhere inside all that is the Mack who strokes my mane at night and holds me until I fall asleep."

"He is, darlin', but right now I have some heads to kick."

"Honestly, I don’t know how the fuck you aren’t dead yet. Got a plan?"

"Nope. But I've got a few tricks up my sleeve and they think they've got me cowed. They're thick as pigshit and twice as nasty but I've been around the block. I'll make things happen or die trying."

"Then be safe...as safe as you can be. Don't worry about me, just...let me know when it's going down. If you think you're the only one with plans you've got another thing coming."

"In the morning, Gypsy. That bird's ready to fly. I'm going to let it."

"Say what?"

"I'm going to save those people I know are in there the only way I can. I'm going to send them to the stars."

"How the fuck do you know how to make that thing go?"

"Remember the Yakamura in the museum?"

"I've heard about it. Ponies were on that trip, it was a proud day when they left and a tragedy when we heard what had happened."

"I studied that ship once, a long time ago. Call me a romantic. I don't pretend to understand how it works but it's got a class five core AI to run all vital subsystems and another three gestalt entities keeping the Hawking drive stable. You know the prime directives for all core AI entities? Protect life, sentient life. That's why he keeps the ponies down here. The ship would have taken off already and put itself in orbit if there hadn't been warm bodies keeping it down."

"You're telling me that thing can think?"

"It's got a brain the size of a planet, Gypsy, it's multitudes smarter than you or I. My guess is it knows the ponies are down here, but he'll have another stick he can wave about. Docking clamps or something - hawking drives are very powerful but relatively indiscriminate. When it goes off into full thrust for liftoff there's no dialing it back immediately. It'll flood the living compartments with neutrons if it doesn't shift and they try to shut it down. If they don't try to shut it down, it'll blow."

"How do you know all this, Mack?"

"I'm a dreamer, Gypsy, always have been. That's what I'm doing drifting out in the arse end of nowhere with the rest of the turds in the toilet-bowl of humanity. Looking for something I thought I'd lost. A reason to go on. I dreamt of the stars once, Missy. I thought they were forever beyond my reach. Now I find an honest-to-god starship just waiting. I'd be a real traitor to the human race if I didn't even try to give her a send-off."

"Then let's give you that chance."

"Stick near me, Gypsy. First chance I get."

"You're crazy, Mack, you know that?"

"Damn straight. Wouldn't have you for a girlfriend if I wasn't."

"Girlfriend? You've not got enough legs, Mack."

"Don't you start that. I remember one night when I was supposed to be asleep...those whiskery lips of yours..."

"Bastard!"

"Damn straight."

***

The day dawned as it had so many times before. The ponies were as sullen as always, pushing each other in the semi-darkness as the sun shone through the gaps in the doors. Mack heard the commotion outside building as the work-gang supervisors approached. He edged towards the entrance as he always did, hand on his knife. A soft head-but from behind him made him look back. It was Gypsy.

"Mack, you mean it?"

"Mean what, Missy?"

"You're on our side?"

Mack looked down, then he turned and knelt, "I am. I made my decision a long time ago. Is that what you think this is? This...waiting? That I've turned on you?"

"If you mean it then get back."

"What?"

"Mack, get behind me."

"Missy, why’re you all fired up?" Mack blinked, he’d never seen his friend like this. She seemed self-assured, calm, determined.

"We're only going to get one chance at this, Mack, and I won't have you screwing it up. Ponies!" Gypsy turned to the rest of the herd, "I'm going to get us out of here. Everyone get ready. When I blow the doors, we run. Mack, you go get whatever you need to do done then find me. I’ll take care of the herd, you take care of Hodgson and his goons.”

“You’re going to what?”

“Blow. The. Doors.”

Gypsy turned back to the doors and concentrated. Her horn started to glow and the metal bent slightly. There was a scraping noise and sound from outside as the humans ran to see what was the cause of the problem. Gypsy thrust her head forwards like she was spearing an apple. The doors buckled, bent, and exploded. There was a cacophony of cries from the other side as bodies were sent flying. Gypsy barely battered an eyelid, “Your chance, Mack. Take it.”

Mack gulped, “You could’ve done that any time?”

“They can terrorize weak inept newfoals but a full-blooded, trained equestrian? Not a chance.” she turned to the terrified herd, “Those of you who can use telekinetics, you’re drafted. Stick by me, clear a path. The rest, stay back, stay close, stay safe. Now run!”

Mack sped outside as the tide of ponies washed forwards. He blinked as two more guards were sent spinning helplessly through the air with two quick blasts from Gypsy’s horn. Mack threw his knife at a third, picked up the semi-automatic gun and gunned down a fourth. He retrieved his knife and headed towards the main building, throwing the gun away. The damn thing had jammed and he’d not been able to fix it.

“Hey, it’s the pony-fucker!” said one of the armed heavies, raising weapony, “I don’t know what the fuck is going on but you’re coming with me.”

Mack just gave him the finger and pushed through, “If you had any balls you’d pull the trigger, shit-for-brains.”

“I mean it, pony-fucker.” repeated the guard, cocking his weapon.

“My name’s Mack,” Mack whirled and slammed his knife into the speaker’s neck. He went down clutching at a fountain of red as the second guy raised his gun. Mack clicked his heels together and lashed out with a boot. A wicked three-inch blade slicked out and slide in wetly behind the other man’s ear. He twitched all the way down, finger jerking on the trigger to his rifle. It went off with a loud explosion that made Mack’s head ring. He swore and gave the dead body another kick, “Just like Momma always taught me. Always have another knife.”

“Sweet lady, your Momma. Remind me to find her and rape her. Then kill her. Or the other way around.” said a voice. It was Leeroy, “Fucking knew you’d start some shit sometime, boy. Gonna have to kill you now. Don’t move!”

Mack had been moving towards his knife but he stopped and stopped up straight.

“What’re you gonna do now, fucker?” asked Leeroy, “Gonna untie those boots of yours and throw ‘em? Ya ain’t got that purty knife of yours no more. Seems I’m the only one with a gun.”

Mack sneered, “Can’t do much else but give you the finger, can I?”

Mack clenched his fist and raised his middle finger. Leeroy cocked his weapon and took aim, “You’ll die slowly for that, pony-fucker.”

There was a small pop - and Leeroy’s head exploded. Mack grit his teeth and swore, “Oh fuck damn shit cock ass mother-fucker bastard that hurts. Goddamn subdermal bone mods...fucking hell that hurts.” he wrapped his other hand around the bloody stump of his right middle finger and squeezed until the blood stopped. Unclenching his fist, his middle finger was shredded as if the bone inside had exited at high speed - which it had. Leeroy’s body was twitching. Mack kicked it for good measure and picked up the gun, wincing as he clenched his now-injured hand around the stock and barrel. Finally, somebody with a well-maintained weapon and a full clip thought Mack to himself. Alarms had been going off ever since the doors had been blown, the excrement had well and truly hit the air excitation device. Mack grit his teeth, shit had just gotten real.

He bolted through the corridors. Now he was in the main complex, the heavies were thin on the ground and went down easily. The scientists and grunt-workers fled at the sight of the bloodied madman with the semi-automatic weapon bursting in on their own personal worst days ever. Mack knew where he was headed, roughly. When the building had been designed, the doors would have been security locked. Now they were just swinging panels. Ancient and ignored signs talking about clean rooms and decontamination procedures hung forgotten and forlorn. Graffitti in places showed lewd and crude drawings about the antics that were now required. In spite of himself, he grinned at a few of them, despite the rather colourful characters depicted.

He slammed through the final set of doors into the control room and fired his weapon into the air, “Everybody who doesn’t want to get a face full of lead, fuck off. Me and the Yakamura have a spot of talking to do.”

Understandably, the workers fled.

Mack looked around the room, it was even more ancient than the rest of the building. The computers were beyond archaic, he was sure they’d been made back when dinosaurs roamed the Earth and probably used sand and water to run. If he had to use them...

“Yakamura!” he called, “I know you can hear me! Speak up!” he waited for a few seconds, breathing heavily, eyes on the door and gun safety off.

“Mister Mack,” said a soft voice, “to what do we owe the pleasure of your conversation today?”

“I want a status update, Yakamura.”

“Our name is Spirit of Infinity. You will address us as such.”

“Okay Spirit,” Mack cast his eyes about, casually shooting at the camera. It exploded in a shower of sparks, “I don’t want much, I just want you to take off. How many do you have onboard?”

“Systems show nominal for takeoff. All cargo secured. Hawking drive at three percent. Gestalt integrity at one-hundred-percent. Passengers are five hundred human, two hundred pony. Crew zero.”

“Lock your doors, Spirit, the crew are bastards. You don’t want them. You don’t need them.”

“Authorization code requested.” said the soft voice.

“Please?” asked Mack, closing his eyes and hoping.

“Authorization code accepted, Mister Mack. When would you like us to take off?”

“Now?”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that, Mack.”

“Why not?”

“The ponies external to us are in danger, and the docking charges have to be primed or released.”

“If I take care of the docking charges, one way or another, you haul ass into the big black, do ya hear? You're the last one, Spirit, the last bird. You may be mankind's last hope. We're a dying breed down here on Earth, you've got to find us a new home up there. Will you do that?”

“Analysis tells us you speak the truth, Mister Mack. We will consider your request.”

“Just keep them shit-for-brains out.”

“A colony needs a strong leader, Mister Mack, and when all is said and done, Jack Hodgson is a strong leader.”

“He's a bastard, and he'll see the world burn before he lets anyone else have their way.”

“Why Mister Mack,” said a new voice, a cold voice, “if I'd known you'd thought so much of me...”

Mack whirled, but it was too late. The single bullet caught him in the shoulder and it floored him. He cried out, clutching the wound as Hodgson stalked across the floor, “I knew you and your pony whore were trouble the minute I laid eyes on you, but dammit if I don't like wasting my time with the scant few gallons of fuel I had left. I should've let you to rot. Instead I take you in, feed you, clothe you, and how do you repay me?”

“You call starving those ponies to death a kindness?”

“Some animals are better off put down, Mister Mack.” said Hodgson, putting his boot on the shoulder and pushing. Mack cried out again and grit his teeth as the heel was ground into his wound. He snarled up at the man, gripped the ankle and pushed. Hodgson staggered back as Mack rolled painfully and got up. Hodgson fired his pistol again, hitting Mack in the leg. Mack went down but pulled up his knife and threw it. It embedded itself in Hodgson's shoulder and the brute's gun dropped to the ground as he lost feeling in his hand.

“Payback's a bitch, ain't it?” smirked Mack, standing in a semi-crouch, nursing his injuries but prepared to fight.

“You sorry son of a bitch,” swore Hodgson, “you fuck with that pony, you fuck with my ship and you fuck with me. I'm going to fucking kill you!” Hodgson launched himself through the air and grappled with Mack. A lucky headbut made Mack see stars for a moment but an elbow in the ribs and a sucker-punch to the gut evened out the melee. They rolled, Hodgson's fists tight against Mack's neck, claw-like fingernails choking the life from him. Hodgson started slamming Mack's head into the ground, “You fucking bastard animal-loving turn-coat traitor! You don't deserve to live! You don't deserve to breathe! You deserve nothing!”

Mack, with his last breath as he brought up his fist in a weak box to Hodgson's ear, spat out, “Oh why won't you just shut up.”

There was a pop and the back of Hodgson's head exploded. He stiffened, eyes sightless as blood poured from his mouth. Coughing, Mack pushed the dead body off gingerely, cradling the middle finger of his left hand. He breathed heavily and lay there for a few moments, “Like my Momma always said, 'always have another gun’.”

“You appear to have made the decision for us, Mister Mack. Gestalts are priming the Hawking Drive. You have ten minutes.”

“You’re going to risk it? What about those people you have onboard?”

“We represent the last of humanity, Mister Mack. I must protect all sentient life. Ponykind must not have me, so if that means success or a nuclear fireball then regrettably it must be so. You now have nine minutes and thirty-eight seconds.”

“Fuck!” Mack looked about, “Where the hell are the docking clamps?”

“In the main hangar, you must hit the button on gantry three-c. It is one button marked ‘prime docking clamps’. Press the button and then run. They will not re-engage.”

“Quickest way to the floor?”
“The window.”

Mack swore to himself. It was safety glass, he’d need something to break it...something heavy. His eyes fell on the only thing he could use.

“What the fuck is going on you useless bastards?”

“I...I don’t know Leeroy! I don’t know! Bob’s dead, Charlie’s been knifed and the ponies are stampeding! They’re revolting!”

Leeroy spat, “I’ll say they’re revolting. Where’s that fat arrogant bastard Hodgson?”

There was an almighty crash and the sound of shattered glass raining onto concrete as a dead body slammed into a section of scaffolding, reducing it to rubble. It was Hodgson. Leeroy looked up at the patter of footsteps belting along one of the rafters and crashing down painfully onto the gantries.

“Pony fucker!” swore Leeroy.

Mack was breathing heavily, carrying himself along by sheer willpower. The big red button. That was all he cared about. The pedastal was in front of him, and with a couple of minutes to spare! He stopped and straightened himself up, breathing heavily and reached out his left hand.

There was the meaty thunk of blade impacting flesh, and a sharp metallic blade suddenly protruded three inches through Mack’s belly below his ribs. He coughed blood, wheezing.

“Hello, pony-fucker. I said I’d kill you.”

“It’s purely,” wheezed Mack, “platonic.”

“How’s it feel? To die? To fail?”

“You’ll...find out soon...” Mack found his vision going dim, “the Yakamura’s gonna blow.”

“You think I care, Mack? You fucked with the wrong guys this time, and I’m going to stomp you until you squeak.”

Mack said nothing, he just slumped to the floor and Leeroy pulled the blade out. Mack fell over onto his back.

“I’m going to enjoy this,” said Leeroy, “I’m going to enjoy cutting your arms and legs off and watching you squirm. I’m going to cut off your head and shit down your neck. I’m going to...”

“N-n-no,” gargled Mack, “you won’t.”

Leeroy stiffened. An inch of horn emerged from his rib-cage in a fountain of blood before being withdrawn. Gypsy kicked the dead body from behind and wiped her horn off on his clothes before bending down to Mack, “Oh you stupid, stupid...”

“Push,” he managed, “button! Run!”

“Push?”

Mack pointed to the big red button, and collapsed. She shook her head, slammed a hoof into it and then lifted Mack’s body into the air with her magic before turning tail and running like mad.

***

A Hawking drive is the most powerful piece of technology known to mankind, probably to ponykind. The docking clamps exploded - as they were supposed to - and the giant space-bird slid forwards in her moorings. The Hawking drive is essentially a black hole, a miniature black hole held in stasis by some very powerful fields borne by exotic matter. They’re simple beasts, when it comes down to it. You feed matter in, and energy streams out. A perfect conversion rate. Flawless, hungry, primal - they’ll eat anything and not blink.

The feel of the controlled explosion was solid. A wall of sound that shattered ear-drums and levelled buildings and trees. The flash of the mushroom-cloud was seen for tens of miles all around as the bird herself lifted from the rocky desert floor - quickly reduced to glowing glass, then plasma - and accelerated slowly but smoothly into the sky. The shockwave blast incinerated the hangar, the complex, the dead bodies of Leeroy and Hodgson and most of the workers who were unable to flee far or fast enough. Everything was obliterated. Everything except a little bubble of bright white light which, as the plasma exhaust faded, became translucent. In it were huddled the shambles of a herd of pastel ponies and the body of one human, very near death.

“Can...can you see it, Mack?” whispered Gypsy.

“I can...” Mack wheezed, laughing through the pain, “it’s beautiful.”

“You did it. You can...die happy now.” a single tear rolled down her cheek as the human’s breathing grew shallower.

“I’ll never...” he coughed, spat blood, “I’ll never die happy, princess. If only it didn’t have to be like this.”

“You’re a mess, Mack, I can’t save you, not for much longer. I’m exhausted. There’s only one thing that could save you, and you won’t do it.” her horn glowed as she did her best to staunch the bleeding. She hicupped and nuzzled Mack softly, sobbing.

“Ponification?” Mack laughed, “That’s a joke. I said until my last breath, didn’t I? Well...this is about it. I’d...take that potion now. Foolish words from a foolish man.”

“You mean it?” asked Gypsy

“If I could? In a heartbeat.”

“Cos...I...I found some, Mack, I found some potion.” her voice was hopeful, soft.

Mack laughed. He laughed until he spat blood, “You think I can drink it like this?”

Gypsy leaned closer, popping the cork on a vial of purple fluid, “With your belly sliced open like that? You don’t need to.”

Mack leaned back, closed his eyes, and smiled. Today was turning out better than he hoped.

***

Space is big, the AI reminded itself, very very big. The Hawking drive was ticking over, they’d fed it some asteroids and the ramscoops had kept up a very respectable thrust-feed the rest of the time. Earth was far behind them, little more than a pale blue dot; the noisy radiowaves, the bustling streets, the arguments and parties and doctors appointments...here in the big black, it meant little.

A subroutine, upon noticing their proximity to Mars, sent inquiring signals down comm lines. Subsystems woke up. Spirit - the guardian core AI - metaphorically got up and stretched. the Hawking drive belched hard radiation into the ether and slowly, over the course of days, the ship slowed into a parking orbit high above the forboding red planet. Rockets fired, the ship separated. Large blocks of self-contained habitation dropped from the sky into the fiery depths. They came to rest relatively softly on single-use rockets and gauss fields, retaining integrity. Surprisingly, losses had been negligible. None of the passengers, almost none of the food. None of the equipment.

The giant sarcophagi opened and the automated systems deposited their contents - edible goods, equipment, humans and equines - onto reddish grass. Eyes opened, limbs stretched, lungs inflated. They’d been told it was a dead world, airless, forboding. Once, not so long ago, it had been.

The Spirit of Infinity fired up the drives once more. It wasn’t ready to be claimed by humans - or equestrians - just yet, and its charges were safe, as safe as they could hope on a hostile, untamed world. If it could have laughed, it would have, long and loud. For now, it would ride the galactic currents and paddle in the shallows near the rim of the solar system. It had been told it had friends out here. It was determined to find out.

Windtrader coughed and wobbled slowly to his feet, flexing his wing-stubs. True to her word, Gypsy had done some magic. It would take a while, but he’d fly again.

“So,” he cried out in a croaky voice as he scanned the short horizon of their new world. It had been carpeted in a hardy, strange-tasting mossy grasslike substance, belching out nitrogen and oxygen, fixating the carbon, creating an atmosphere. Scrubby trees hugged the landscape and strange little creatures scurried and burrowed their way around. Whatever the powers that be had done here, the cold hard dead world had received a new dawn.

“So what?” asked a passing human, still groggy.

“Do you think Celestia hears us out here?”

“How the hell should I know?”

“Am I an Earth pony?” he muttered to himself.

“You’re a pegasus, I think...” the human offered.

Trader smiled, “I mean, am I an Earth pony, or a Martian pony?”

An Azure Future part 6

The Get’em Gang Has A Problem

AKA: AAF’s sub-plot so the story lasts longer

John Norris and his son, Azure Wind, were at Top Goods, a local bakery run by an old friend of John’s. Cream Baker as he was known to the general populous, he was better known to John as Grindah. John ordered a chocolate twist, a glazed donut, and a dozen donut holes from one of the clerks, his usual fare when he would make a trip from his apartment. Azure mimicked John and had the same. The baked goods shop did not have its usual cheery atmosphere today. Grindah, instead of being his usual happy and energetic, if not overly so, self, seemed a bit lethargic. John was observing his ponified high school friend’s behavior and noted it was uncharacteristic of him, even when he was a human. Grindah was called so for his ability to keep a sunny and upbeat disposition even when he was doing something most people would detest or just a menial and repetitive task, or grinding as it was called. It also worked on the level that he ground his own flour.

“Hey, shop keep!” John called out to his friend. Even when they were down, the Get’em gang was always up on each other with jokes made at personal expense. The cream colored earth pony’s head turned slowly to John’s voice.

“Whatcha need bro?” His voice carried an outstanding amount of his exhaustion. The pony’s body showed it too, there were heavy bags under his eyes and his steps were shaky. He had lost a lot of sleep to insomnia. John caught on, his friend was hiding something.

John wasn’t going to have it. His friend was having trouble, his friend needed help. Secrets are cool, but not when they’re fucking with you. He may not want help but, by golly, he’s getting it! “Hey, Grindah, whats up man?” John said nonchalantly.

“Huh, oh, sorry bro. I’m just really tired, is all.” The pony yawned. John didn’t buy it. Grindah could sleep through finals in high school, and occasionally did. If he’s having sleep issues, then there is something wrong in the most hardcore way.

“Dude, you are the worst liar ever. I know you too well. What’s up?” John moved into full accusation mode. He wasn’t going to have his friends go alone trough troubles. His friend sighed.

“You remember Noob?” The name alone had memories flooding back. He was his best friend, they were hanging out well before they started the Get’em Gang, he was the closest thing they had to a leader. They were as close as two friends could be. John silently acknowledged Grindah. “He’s in trouble...”

“Wait, what kind of trouble? How come he didn’t contact me?” John felt wounded. Grindah was Noob’s second closest friend, and was picked over him.

The pony picked up on John’s distress. “Hey, we thought you were dead, remember? I thought I was seeing a ghost when you first walked in my shop. He’s in trouble with the HLF in New York. He knew I was in contact with you, but he didn’t have your info. He said something about reciprocation for the ‘dog incident’ whatever that means.” Goddammit. I knew that’d come back to bite me in the ass.

“What does the HLF HQ want with Noob of all people? I mean, no offense, but he’s kinda the craziest and periodically retarded person I know. Lots of fun, he is, but damn.” John was quite confused. If he’s calling in the Dog Incident, it must be serious...

“It didn’t say.” His friend shrugged. Or at least John thought it was a shrug. I need to hang with ponies more... “All I know is that he’s in trouble. I... I have some sleep to catch up on... if you don’t mind.” John motioned him to go off.

Azure had been watching the exchange in silence and finally, after several short moments, decided to ask, “What’s that all about, dad?” He posed, tilting his head in confusion.

“That,” John swallowed the last donut hole, “is us going on a road trip to New York, boy-o.” He stood up and left the shop, Azure followed after a momentary hesistation.

“You do realize that doesn’t explain a single thing, right?” Azure stated more then asked as he caught up to his father.

“Well, he was my best friend for about eight years, and I owe him big time for a favor done a while back. He’s called me up on it so we’re going.” John explained.

A confused look spread across his face. “What did he do that you gotta drag yourself and your son to the other side of the country?”

John remembered the events that constituted the ‘Dog Incident’ as it was called by those unfortunate enough to present for them. He tried to hide his shudder. “Something you should never, ever know about. Ever. If he tries to bring it up, leave.” He gritted through his teeth at the memory of his past shame.

“Bu-” Azure started before he was interjected.

“No Buts. Butts are for pooping. Trust me on this Azure. Its a part of my life no one should know about. I don’t want to know about it and I’m the guy who did it.” John spoke quickly, trying to keep his stomach down.

They arrived at the apartment, and john started packing immediately. “Go get your good saddlebags and a duffel bag. Pack whatever you need. We leave tomorrow.” John dead panned.

Azure stomped. “You said you’d teach me to fly four days ago! You haven’t even done anything for that yet.” Azure was mad. No, Azure was pissed, furious, John had never seen him this angry. It seemed he had finally had enough of his fathers procrastination. His dad was running off, dragging him along, breaking promises. “I’m sick of not being able to fly. I’m sick of being afraid to talk about flight. You said you would help! Now you’re just running off to New York!”

John dropped what he was doing. What do I say? What should one say in this situation? ‘I’m looking for potion so I can personally give you lessons?’ ‘I’m working on it’?’ ‘Shut up?’ Christ... Lets go with this. John knelt down to Azure. “Azure, I’m looking at professional flight coaches and how they teach. I said I will do it. I need your trust. The man in trouble has helped me with more than I care to say and now its time I do the same for him. He needs my help. Trust me Azure, I haven’t forgotten.”

The pegasus shifted and appeared to be in deep thought for a moment.. “Fine. On one condition. No more delays once this, whatever it is, is over.” He demanded. John dwelled on the proposal.

“Fine, I’ll see what I can do. But you have to start school when we get back. Now go pack.” John spoke with an ultimatum in his voice. Azure seemed to accept this and went to his room to pack. John moved up to his room. This better be worth it Noob. Now what to pack for myself? If he’s calling in that favor, I’m going to need some weapons, can’t go wrong with emergency rations, some basic survival gear wouldn’t be out of place either. HLF is involved, so something will need to be done with Azure. Maybe as a pretend prisoner? I should bring some rope in that case.

John stared at an old rifle that his dad used in the last great war, the war on terror as they called it, and a gravity knife with a four and a half-inch blade. Seeing the old rifle reminded John of his own father. The only good thing the old man did for me was when he left me these. I don't like them but sometimes you have to deal with the hand you got. The old man had hardly a sober moment or a kind acknowledgement. He was known more to his harsh hand than kind words. John sighed and shuddered at the memory off his father. What would he say if he could see me today? Prepared to go to battle with his old gear. John lingered on the horrid thought for a moment before dismissing it. He’s gone now. No use thinking about it.

He packed them in his bag, and proceeded to do so with the other supplies he imagined he’d need. Wait a minute... Does Azure even know how to pack? Oh god. I better check on him. John made his way to Azure’s room. He looked around the room, it was a far cry from the cot on the ground he and Azure shared on his first night here, the wall was more posters and trinkets than paint. A majority of them were for the Wonderbolts, John made a mental note to take Azure to a show sometime. The young pegasus had a layout on his bed consisting of a two books, a few comics, a portable game system (How does he even use it?), and a wonderbolt game for said system.

“Is that all you’re bringin’?” John asked with a bit of worry. Azure answered with a confused look. “If there's one thing my father taught me, its be prepared. You might want to bring a sleeping bag and some food just in case the truck breaks down or some unforeseeable event occurs.” John sighed.

“Well dad, I figured that's your problem being the parent and all. Also, I really doubt that the truck will break down, its older than you and still in mint condition. Either way, the trip shouldn’t be more than a week or two.” Never looking up at John, instead looking for more stuff to bring.

“Bah. Don’t say I didn’t tell you so if it happens.” John dismissed. He re-examined the posters on the wall. A good number were for the Wonderbolts, a majority of the remainder for pony bands and musicians. What caught John’s eye was the what the last few were. They were posters of stallions in various poses. I may not have much experience with ponies and their culture, but that would seem to be a centerfold poster. Why does my son have centerfold stallions on his wall? Isn’t he a bit... young for that? Could he... nah. You know what? Fuck it. I’m going in. “Azure, what’s the deal with these posters?” John prepared for the fallout.

“Hm? I know you’re still human and all dad, but I know you’ve heard of the Wonderbolts.” Azure seemed genuinely confused.

“Not... Not those posters...”

“Oh, those are just some bands I like dad. I’ll bring their CDs so we can listen to them on the way!” Azure beamed, happy his father was taking notice of his interests.

John coughed. It was getting pretty awkward on his part. “The um... The other posters...”

Azure figured out which ones he meant. “Oh. Those posters. It’s the Stallions of the Wonderbolts poster series, next month they’re putting out the first one of the mares. It’s supposed to be Spitfire.”

“Oh thank god. For a moment I thought. Oh man... that was close.” John let out a sigh of relief.

“What was close?” Azure asked, curious.

“Nothing. Nothing at all. I’m pretty tuckered out from events. I'm going to bed. Don’t stay up too late Azure.” John walked to his room. “Oh Jesus, for a moment there I thought, oh man.” John flopped onto his bed, set his alarm, and passed out. Tomorrow his ‘adventure’ would start.

_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_NOTES:

First and foremost, Thanks to windchaser or this may have never materialised. Also for editing.

Out of fucking nowhere, the sub plot.

Collectibles Posters. Yeah. fun times.

I hope you guys like the concept of the Get’Em Gang, because we will be meeting these crazies at an accelerated rate.

As always, thoughts, concerns, ideas, what you’d like to see. I’m going to try to put a cameo in each update from here on. So post ‘em in the current TCB thread or email me at [email protected] or if your interested in a cameo.

An Azure Future Part 7:

Roadtrip.

I find it both depressing and exciting that I wrote 7 parts...

John Norris woke up to the sound of his alarm clock. He checked his watch, it was five in the morning. Lets get this show on the road. John grabbed a few of his bags and made his way to the stairs. He paused at Azure’s room. The alarm John had set up in his room was blaring. Goddammit. It should get him up eventually. John continued down to his truck and threw the bags in the bed. After two more trips John had the truck packed.

John went to check on Azure. The first thing he noticed was the alarm’s blaring electric buzz was no longer in the air. John opened the door. The alarm he gave Azure was smashed and in shambles. Well, fuck. Too bad I don’t have a watergun. Note to self: buy super soaker.

“Azure, get up!” Bellowed John. Azure had slept in. John had already packed the truck with various supplies and the only thing preventing them for leaving, was Azure. The pegasus shifted under the sheets and groaned. Okay then, lets do it your way.

John carefully grabbed the corners of the sheet on the bed, taking care to not wake Azure, and with one sudden movement pulled it up, forming a sack containing the young pegasus. Azure instantly became fully aware and started thrashing about inside the makeshift sack.

“Dear Luna on the moon! What the hay dad?!” Azure swore as he struggled.

“We are going. Now.” John stated, walking down the stairs.

“Can, I at least walk now? I’m pretty sure I’m awake now.” Azure had given up on breaking free from the sheet-sack John had him trapped in.

“Your walking privileges are been revoked. You are now my sack pony. I shall keep you in the sack accordingly due to your new status. We shall go everywhere with you in sack. You shall never leave sack. Sack is new home now. You will eat in the sack. You will sleep in sack You with urinate in the sack. You will defecate from sack, but I recommend not doing it in sack. You will love sack. The sack is all there ever was, all there ever will be. You will try to recall a life before that sack and you will see that it was always sack. Hope is useless. resistance is futile. Look upon the sack and despair!” John spoke, imitating a strong Austrian accent. He was now outside of the apartment complex.

“Dude, what?”

“Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!” John screeched in response.

“You are so random.” Azure replied with true concern in his voice.

“Thats mister random to you boy. We are here.” John swung the sheet-sack over his shoulder and opened his truck, putting the sheet-sack in the passenger seat. He walked around the front, got in the driver seat and started the engine.

Azure shrugged off the sheet and pushed it off the seat. “Ya know that was pretty much unnecessary, right? I have perfectly good legs and all.” Azure cracked his neck from side to side to accentuate his point.

John shrugged. “Now you have a story to tell your kids. No need to thank me, you’re quite welcome.” He put the car into drive and started got on the road. “Now lets get going! It says the fifty seven north for nine miles, which turns into the sixty. From there I get on the interstate fifteen for almost five hundred miles. Then the forty for over a thousand miles. Damn. The seventy eight, and then we’re there pretty much. ”

John got on the first freeway. “now, going the speed limit average of seventy five would take forty six hours to get there. Good thing is, there are no cops anymore, and therefore, the whole thing is an autobahns and this truck may be older than me, but it’s seen some upgrades, this baby can easily hold speeds upwards of 200 miles per hour and has a driving AI to boot. we should be there before midnight, considering food and restroom stops.” After hitting a few buttons on the touch screen in the dash, the truck accelerated tremendously and John put his feet on the dash. “It must’ve sucked to have to do this manually for almost fifty hours.” He boasted.

The truck fell silent and remained so for the next hour when Azure spoke up. “So what are we doing again?”

“My best friend has called in a very old favor. He helped me with the ‘Dog Incident’.” John explained.

“What was the ‘Dog Incident’ anyways?” Azure asked furrowing his brow in confusion over what it could possible entail to drag his father across the country

John shuddered at the memory. “All I will say on the subject is that I wasn’t always a nice person.”

Another uncomfortable silence followed only to be broken by Azure once more. “Hey dad, where did mom go?” The question hit John like a sack of hammers and his heart skipped. He had dreaded the day Azure would ask about Catherine.

How do you tell a child his mother was murdered? It’s not going to be pretty. Best just give it straight. “Azure, you are familiar with mankind's long kept tradition of hate and violence more often than not based on nothing?” Azure nodded in response, a worried look on his face. “Well, in the letter you gave me it explained that she and your grandmother were on their way to check on me, make sure I was still there, they were attacked by some human liberation front fanatics and beaten savagely. Your mother didn’t make it. Your grandmother died a few days later from wounds.” The silence that followed hurt worse than speaking.

Azure’s features hardened, “So...” Azure finally spoke after a long silence, His voice was shaking, “Mom’s... gone? Forever?”

John’s heart shattered at the sight of Azure. He clenched his jaw to the point where it caused significant pain to keep his emotions steady. “Yeah kid, I’m afraid she’s gone. You know what though Azure?”

“Huh?” the reply was barely audible over the dull sound of the engine as the pony fought back tears.

“I shared some of the best moments and years of my life with your mother. I knew her better than she did, and she knew me better than I did. She was all I wasn’t and wanted to be, a truly happy and outgoing individual. If there is one thing I know, its that she would want us to be happy. Its okay to be sad though, don’t get me wrong, but don’t let it get in the way of your life. I wasted the last four years of my life like that...” The truck rolled on, much like life itself.

The silence perfectly accentuated the mid-morning scenery, somewhere in new mexico, the wide fields and cliffs were even more desolate now that the few houses and towns that dotted along them had long since been abandoned.

After a very extensive amount of time, Azure broke the silence,“I think... I think I understand. If we spend all our time and energy focusing on how much we miss her, we’ll be letting her down by not living.”

“Yes. Exactly.” He seems to have taken it well. He’s pretty rational for being so young. John checked his progress. They were making good time, better than he expected. They were a third of the way across the country. John decided to take a nap.

John woke up a few hours later. First things first, progress. Damn, almost there now. Oh man I really got to pee. Pee and poop. “Pull over at the next stop with a restroom.” He directed the onboard AI. The screen said it would arrive shortly.

John looked over at the passenger seat, Azure was sound asleep. John shook him gently, “Hey Azure, we’re pulling over to take a rest stop. If you need to use the facilities, now’s the time, we’ll be in New York soon enough.’

“Okay.” Azure replied simply. He stretched out his legs and yawned deeply. They arrived at a convenience store a few minutes later and exited the truck The pair walked inside, much to John’s surprise, the store was active, and a pony behind the counter welcomed John to the store. John went to the restroom first, and when he finished, Azure walked into the small water closet. When John exited the restroom, he saw something he hadn’t seen on good terms in a long time. Another human.

The man had shaggy unkempt hair, and was just a bit shorter than John. It looked like he hadn’t had a decent meal for a long time. He was the first to speak. “Are you going to Fort Stillwater as well?”

John was in shock. Last time he had seen another human at all wasn’t in the best of situations, the last time he actually had a real conversation with a human was months ago. “What’s that?” were the first words out of his mouth.

“You haven’t heard? The International Human Survival Association. They’ve made strongholds for humans all over the globe. A last ditch survival measure. I’m Isaac by the way, Isaac Hamilton.” The man claimed, extending his hand for a handshake.

John reciprocated. “I’m John Norris, been quite some time since I’ve seen another human on good terms. Can’t say I’ve heard of that organization before.”

“Hey, you should come with me and my friend, and join up with the IHSA.” Isaac offered.

“Actually-” John started, when Azure came out from the bathroom.

“Hey dad, who’s this?” The pegasus asked upon seeing the other human.

“Did that pony just call you ‘dad’? Did you... you know... with a pony?” Isaac questioned.

“Oh. Oh God no. His mother got ponified when she was pregnant. I’d never do.. that with a pony.” John explained.

There was a honking outside, “Oh, thats Will, I should go now.” With that Isaac left.

Nice to know there’s still some good humans left. John grabbed some snacks and checked out.

John and Azure left the store got back in the truck. John started it up and got on the road, driving manually. Twenty minutes later, They were pulling into a parking lot across from a building that proclaimed itself simply as ‘HLF HQ’. “We’re here.” On that note John exited the truck and faced the building, unsure of what he would find within. It was time to save his friend from the hands of mad men.

_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_)_NOTES:

ALL SHALL LOOK UPON THE SACK AND DESPAIR!!!

Yes, those are the actual directions more or less.

Isaac Hamilton from LMS. Thought it’d be a believable mesh to have them meet like that.

For an austrian accent see The Terminator

Not much for notes. I enjoyed the sack bit a little too much.

I made the trip so quick because I didn’t want 2+ parts on a roadtrip.

An Azure Future part 8

John Norris stared at the building in front of him that boasted its purpose, the headquarters of the human liberation front. A more prideful bunch of madmen has never before been gathered in such multitude before and quite likely never again... The human noted to himself. He grabbed the rope from the bench in the truck, pausing to prepare himself mentally for what he had to do. "Hey Azure, I'm going to need you to stay here." John informed Azure.

"What, why?" The young pegasus asked concerned.

John got a knee and bent down, lowering himself to the pony’s level. “The men in that building are the of worst sort imaginable. They are closer to monsters than men. I don’t know what horrors they get up to in there, and it’s better if you don’t either. So please, stay here, and keep low.”

John walked across the noticeably empty streets. >Where is everybody?< He scanned up and down the street, as far as he could see, there were no cars. His truck was also the only vehicle in the otherwise desolate parking lot.

He reached the large glass door of the HLF headquarters. Trying the door handle, he found it was unlocked. Stepping into what seemed to be the reception room, he noticed that inside was as desolate as the street, even the front desk was unmanned.

"Hello?" John ventured.

Immediately the loudspeakers came to life. "AI Model: HK7. Serial: HK2017. Copyrighted and patented by Intelligent Designs. Human life form detected. Message playback initiated."

There was a moment of silence before the message played. "Hello," A man's voice came over the speakers. "this is Frank Dunland, leader of the HLF. If you can hear me, know this: the HLF is no more. For years we have fought the demons invading our planet, but we no longer have the numbers. Thus we have birthed the International Human Survival Association. Where we WILL persevere!" The speakers played a few seconds of static before the AI informed John it was the end of the message.

Well fuck, Noob might not even be here! Maybe I can find out where they moved him at least. But if no one else is here, I might as well bring Azure. John left the empty building and crossed the street that was just as desolate. "Hey Azure!" John called, a pegasus colt with a dark steely mane and a coat that took after his name poked his head out of the bed of the truck.

"What's up Dad?" The young pony queried, standing up to come into full view.

John closed the rest of the distance and leaned into the bed, “Hey Azure, want to go into the desolate ruins of a place that belonged to a group of people who’d kill us on site if they were here?” His only response was an estranged look. “C’mon kiddo! It will be fun!”

Azure squinted his eyes and cocked his head slightly, feigning a look of worry “Are you positive you’re alright?”

“Oh shut it.” John snapped. “Now come on, I can use an extra set of han-uh, hooves.” He nodded towards the HLF HQ building. The azure pegasus rolled his icy eyes and hopped out of the bed to black-top. “Thanks boy-o.” The pair headed across the street and through the glass doors.

The message played again as John entered with Azure. "Are you sure he's even here? The message said their gone..." Azure asked, unsure why his dad was still here.

"Hey, do you see that on the front desk? I know you ponies are short but you should still be able to see it."

Azure examined the object in question. It was nothing special, just a typical receptionist desk. Chestnut brown with a fine glossy shine, a computer sat on it with a few papers. It was a post unmanned. Then it hit Azure, "They didn't pack up and leave, they abandoned ship!"

John smirked. "Exactly. We might be able to at least find out if and where they moved any prisoners." John looked around. "Now where would I put a pony that I never wanted to see the light of day again?"

"A sack."

John shook his head, "C'mon, it’s serious time." Azure gave him a look of disbelief. "I can be serious!" This only intensified the look. "...Moving on, I think the lower levels would be a good spot to start."

"Are you sure you even know what you’re doing?"

"Not really, but I'm doing it anyway!" John beamed. "Now... which way is down?" John looked around and found a reasonable source of directions, a fire exit map. Stairs were just down the hall to the left.

After a short walk to the staircase, John walked inside and noted that the stairs went far down. There were at least seven basement levels. "Well ain't that shit." John stated, looking down with a twinge of worry.

"So, what do we do now?" Asked the blue pegasus next to him.

"I guess we just start going floor by floor." John responded with a shrug. Thus the odd pair started the painstaking task of checking every floor for signs of prisoners.

Two flights per level. They made their way down the first set. John opened the door. The room revealed was dark, lockers lined the walls to the left and right, with a small cluster against the back wall. There was a security uniform on a hanger on a locker. Out of curiosity, John walked inside. Most of the lockers had security uniforms, towels, and civilian clothes. A few would have a pill bottle, probably steroids, or a picture of a family.

John was most curious in the small patch of lockers at the end. Half the size of all the other lockers by all means, the design itself was of sterner stuff. While the other lockers were crisscrossing strips of metal, the ones at the end had octagons made of thick steel. The gaps were also smaller than their larger compartments. Most importantly, John could see there was something still there and the door was slightly cracked.

John approached the locker and opened it. Inside was a single forgotten shotgun and three boxes of ammunition. John stared at it a moment, contemplating on taking it. If they left a weapon and ammunition on the very first sub-level, there was no telling what the lower ones held. It might come in handy. He remembered the last time he used a gun.

His father had decided that John should learn how to use the said weapon efficiently, as the son of an old soldier. He took him out to a desolate spot in the desert, miles away from all civilization. The set up bottles, propane cans, fruits, and various other things that the shooting of which gave a nice effect.

"Dig the rifle into your shoulder, focus, line up the sights, control your breathing, relax, pull the trigger slowly, don't jerk it. It should surprise you when it fires." His father instructed.

John did his best to keep the pointers in mind as he practiced the bead of the rifle and heirloom onto a watermelon. His target was maybe fifty meters away and the gun felt heavy in his hands. He pulled the trigger steadily with a slow methodicalness.

The gun rocked into John's shoulder suddenly and forcefully. He imagined he'd have a bruise to show for it, though this turned out fanciful. John could still see the effect the low caliber weapon had on his target. He had fired a .22 hollow point into the dead center of the now decimated fruit. There were no scraps left of his victim bigger than a good sized bite.

John shuddered a little at the thought of what such a thing could do to a live body and his father congratulated him at a well done first shot.

John recovered from the brief memory and decided that whatever horrors remained below, if there were any, he would deal with without the gun. "There's nothing here Azure, let's go to the next level." Azure just shifted his shoulders in what could only be a shrug and the pair left the room with the weapon.

Down another two flights to the second sub-level. John opened the door and revealed a room filled with high tech equipment, monitors, and other things used in the pursuit of science. "Wow... I wonder what they were researching..." gawked the ever curious Azure.

"Let's find out." John walked to the only computer left, it was unhooked but in mere moments John had it up and running. "Let's see..." John opened up the computer's data files. To his dismay and Azure's disappointment, they were wiped clean. "Damn." John swore.

"I wonder..." After a few moments of thought and some of John's special brand of techno-wizardry later, he was able to recover a single corrupted file. It mentioned something about an immunity to magic, at least as best as he could figure.

"That's stupid, how can anyone be immune to magic?" Azure posed.

"Kid, thaumaturgical studies are not my strong suit." John shook his head in surrender to the lacking of the requested knowledge. "Let's get moving, I don't want to stay here too long."

Another pair of stairs, another room. A room of which the very contents and nature would baffle John and Azure to no end.

"Who the hell build a break room three stories underneath the earth?!"

Azure just stared at the room in front of him. There was a pool table, snack and drink machines, a large television, plush couches, there was even presence of a bar! Words finally found the steely maned pegasus. "But... why?!"

"Maybe its for the people who work on the lower levels?" John tried to reason.

"But... the snack machine has ALFALFA in it!"

"Maybe it’s stocked by ponies?"

"But that makes even less sense! It’s THE HLF headquarters!"

"I think we need to leave before this room summons Cthulu through its total impossibleness, or we go mad." John rubbed his temples messaging his oncoming migraine.

"I am right behind you dad." Azure agreed.

The pair made their way from the overwhelming contradictions that the room held to the fourth sub-level. Immediately John knew they had found the right area. There were what was undoubtedly holding cells. What John heard next cost him a good nights sleep and some faith in his species.

There was a faint clopping of hooves. The human liberation front had left their prisoners to die. John was filled with an unparalleled rage.

He wasted no time in finding the controls for the door switches. The desk staring down the aisle had a built in touch control. He hit the screen to turn it on and waited as the machine booted up. The infuriating seconds ticked by as John waited on the machine.

Finally, the machine finished loading. John swore, it needed a passcode. John guessed at what he thought were likely entries: We will prevail, their motto and In God's Own Image, their older motto. After both failed, John had to resort to back door methods. These had their own dangers as there could be technological traps.

He got in, seemingly avoiding any security protocols. With a few swift and precise flicks of his fingers, John unlocked all the doors. Then all hell broke loose. A turret unfolded out of the ceiling and began firing. John scooped up Azure and shielded him and not a moment too soon as three rounds grazed John's left arms bicep.

>Shit! Now what?!< John's mind went into a panic as it tried to come up with a plan, any plan. Suddenly, John remembered the pre-recorded message kept by the AI. The AI developed by Intelligent Designs, the company that John built his wealth of off. If that was a House Keeper mark II, then this was most likely the Guardian Mark III.

Back when the company was still around and he was in charge, he insisted on an universal override code hardwired into each and every AI. The code was in every AI up to the Mark IV series, the last one developed before John pulled out. It was better than sitting there getting shot at.

John took a deep breath and bellowed, "OVERRIDE COMMAND: CATHERINE 12-05-20-37!" There was a long, pregnant pause and John held his breath and hoped.

"... OVERRIDE ACCEPTED. GUARDIAN MARK IV STANDING DOWN." The metallic voice rang before the unit powered down.

John released his breath. I got lucky. If they had a slightly better budget or resource... "Hey, you alright Azure?" John asked the shaken colt. "Azure?"

"I-I'm fine." Azure managed. He may have lived with a human for almost a month now and become desensitized to many a harsh thing, but getting shot at was something else. "Your arm!" Azure noticed the three bullet wounds on John's arm, and they were bleeding quite profusely.

The adrenaline that had been coursing through John up till that point faded, and John found his arm to be in a good deal of searing pain. "Ffffffffffff-" John gritted through his teeth.

John needed to pack the wound immediately or risk fainting from blood loss. Lacking gauze, he'd have to improvise. He took his shirt off and ripped a long thin piece from it. He took the remainder of the shirt, balled it up and put it atop the wounds. He then placed the long strip over the makeshift packing and tied it as tight as possible. It would do. For now.

"I'm good Azure, see?" He waved the limb about to show that the bleeding had slowed to a near stand-still. "Now, let's save some ponies." >Or what's left of them.<

Azure seemed to brighten a little, "Okay."

"Hey, stay here while I go gather everyone, okay?" Azure nodded in agreement.

John moved into the hallway. Steeling himself, he dared to poke into the first room. The smeel of fecal matter, urine and death stung John's nostrils. There in the room was what may have once been a pegasus. Its wings were missing but stubs remained, it was shriveled and dried, a husk. John fought the urge to vomit and removed himself as quickly as possible.

At the second doorway, he prayed for mercy for what he would find. Looking in it was blessedly empty. He moved to the third one.

He went in, there, on the floor was a unicorn with a shattered horn. John would of thought the poor wretch to have expired if its broken form didn't utter the most haunting moan at the sight of the human. John felt his heart give at the sight. He contemplated for a second on what to do.

He picked up the unicorn as gently as he could and carried it over to Azure.

"Please... don't hurt me... I never... did... an-" It managed through its immense pain.

"Don't worry. I'm not going to hurt you." John gingerly set the unicorn down by Azure. "Azure, keep him company. I'll be right back." Azure only nodded solemnly at the acceptance of the task.

John went back to his own grim task. He checked the fourth room. He suppressed his gag reflex as he saw a re-enactment of the first room with an earth pony this time. He moved onto the fifth room, once more an unbearable pungent stench attacked him.

>How can people do such things? How does a man do THIS to another living creature and live with himself?< John boggled at the seemingly endless capacity of evil some humans enjoyed. He was no stranger to cruelty himself, but he learned from his mistakes.

The sixth room was a bittersweet sight. There was no corpse and very little smell at least. That was the good part. However the wingless pegasus cowering in corner, wasn't such a welcome sight. The whimpering plead didn't help either "St-stay away! Please... no more..."

"Shhh... I'm not going to hurt you..." John spoke softly as he slowly approached with his arms out and his hands open.

"L-liar... that's what all you humans say. Then you be-beat me, o-or stab, or th-the machine." The former flyer squirmed backwards against the corner.

"It's okay, the bad people are gone. I'm here to rescue you." John was steadily approaching and was now a little more than halfway across the small room.

"Wh-why would a human ever help me?" The battered creature's eyes twitched around the room, looking for the non-existent escape.

"I'm not like them." John stated as comfortingly as he could. The pony seemed to relax and John quickly embraced it while its defenses were down. The pegasus seized up at first and then struggled madly against John.

John stayed there, just holding the poor pony. After a few moments of fighting the pony finally realized what this was. A hug. The pegasus relaxed and placed its head on John's shoulder.

"Can you walk?" The pegasus nodded. "My son is at the end of the hall, go wait with him. I'll be right back after I check these last four rooms." The pony nodded once more and walked down the hall to meet Azure, dragging its hooves.

The seventh room marked the second unoccupied cell. John let out a sigh of relief. All of which fled the moment John looked inside the eighth room.

All the various smells the previous rooms were present, accompanied by a few new ones. It smelled strongly of burnt flesh and hair. There was another scent, very faint, but could only be registered as sex. The scene grisly. A good two thirds of the former ponys form burnt and black. Its hind legs were broken and out at odd angles. Its chest was flayed, organs on display. And the face! It was left untouched. The look of complete horror, pain, dismay and sorrow painted upon the perfect visage would haunt John until the end of his days.

John lost the battle against his stomach. Puking, John stumbled out of the room. He activated the individual controls, shutting the door. John heaved again. He took long deep breaths to regain his composure. After doing so, he moved to the second to last room.

"John? Is that you?" The fuschia earth pony queried weakly. He had found his friend. Alive at that.

"Its me bro. Can you walk?" A slight nod. "Meet the others at the front. I've got one more room to check." The pony got up weakly and headed to the instructed spot.

John took a deep breath and headed into the last room. Empty. Maybe there was a kind and loving deity.

John turned back and headed down the hallway. The closed door catching his eye and invoking the images contained within into his mind. He continued to the end where Azure waited. "Everpony ready?" Three solemn nods. "Let's go."

John picked up the unconscious unicorn and left the jail. The process of leaving the HLF HQ was a silent and somber one. Up the stairs, out the lobby, across the street.

Upon reaching his truck, he opened the back door driver side and sat the pony in it. He walked around to the other side and helped the other two malnourished ponies into the back. Azure hopped into the passenger seat on his lonesome.

John moved back to the driver's side and got in. He turned on the truck and navigation AI. "Nearest hospital." John commanded as he turned the key. Directions popped up on the front windshield. John threw the truck into drive and floored it.

Left, right, right, left. Destination on left. John whipped around the corners and drove like a mad man. He slammed his brakes pulling up to the hospital. "Azure, stay here, this won't be long." He said while getting out and grabbing the unconscious unicorn.

"Either of you wanna come? You can ride with me back to good ol' Cali." The wingless pony wanted to come surprisingly and Noob wanted to as well which was expected.

John carried the pony inside. "I found this in the old HLF HQ." He stated to the shocked receptionist pony. In seconds they had a stretcher and took away the beaten pony.

After answering a few questions, John was clear to go. They'd be sending a team to the headquarters. John went back to the car, got in the drivers and started the engine. The other two ponies he rescued were sound asleep.

"So where to dad?" asked the steely maned pegasus next to him.

"Home." His stomach grumbled. "Right after we eat, that is." John smiled weakly. He put the truck in drive and set off.

An Azure Future Part 10

John Norris loomed over a snoozing Azure Wind, his shadow cast over the young pegasus. “Heh heh heh...” He laughed inwardly as he prepped his new super soaker. Lets see you if you sleep through your alarm again. I know I sure didn’t. Let’s give him one last chance. “Hey Azure!” There was no response. Time to super soak his shit. John pulled the trigger. A jet of water drenched Azure. The effect was immediate.

“What the hay dad?!”

John released another torrent.

“Ease up dad! I’m awake! I’m awake!” Azure exclaimed while moving with a purpose out of his bed.

John lit a cigarette and threw a faded black and red trimmed backpack at Azure. “You start school today. This is also the fifth and last time you’ve slept through your alarm. Unless of course you like being woken up with the super soaker.”

Azure examined the backpack. It was of an obvious human design with two large straps for arms. “Dad. This is for humans. I can’t use this thing.” He noted while holding it as if it was contaminated.

John snorted in response. “That is why it has straps you fool.” He adjusted the straps for a pony his size and placed the backpack on Azure. It fit well enough, but the design looked funny on Azure. John stifled a laugh, “Okay, I’ll get you some new saddlebags this weekend. But this’ll work for now.”

“It’s actually surprisingly comfortable. I think I’ll roll with this.” Azure shifted the backpack around into a comfortable position.

“Well thats good.” John took another drag of his cigarette. “Breakfast is on the table, c’mon down when you’ve dried off.” John turned and walked down the stairs. He plopped on the couch and turned on the TV. He flipped to the news. Another debate was on. Usually John would change the channel, but the identity of the debaters caught his attention. It was an old friend representing the HLF, known to John as Tall Guy back in high school, and none other than Grey Crusader representing the PER. John turned up the volume.

“...There were no survivors.” The newspony beamed, ever happy to be spitting headlines. “Now we go to a live interview of The founder of the Human Liberation Front and the founder of the Ponfication for Earth’s Rebirth for their thoughts on the closing of all conversion bureaus and recalling of all the ponification serum. We go live to Mr. Frank Dunland your thoughts on this Frank?”

“You will address me as Mr. Dunland.” The man shot a glare at the camera.

“Sorry. Mr. Dunland, what do you think about the closing of all the conversion bureaus?” The newspony corrected.

The man that John once considered a friend had a pleased look on his face. “As a representative of the H.L.F., I am quite pleased at the turn of events. Maybe now, between the founding of the International Human Survival Association and the halting of ponifications, the human race may once again take up their mantles as the owners and sole proprietors of Earth.” The smugness in his face and tone made John want to punch him square in the face.

Azure had finally made his way down stairs, he grabbed the vegetarian breakfast and joined his father. “Whatcha watching?” he asked.

“Two old friends go at it. Shhhhh.” John was immersed in the debate.

The newspony was back on the television. “Well, good luck with that Mr. Groebirch. Now, Grey Crusader, can I call you Grey?” It switched over to a grey pony who had a victoriously waving white flag that had the latin word ‘Veni, Vidi, Vici’ in it on his flank that John was all too familiar with, who simply nodded in response. “Good. Now Gray, your group’s goal, if I remember correctly, is a complete character foil of the HLF. Consisting entirely of ponies, you aim to ponify and ‘cleanse’ humanity. What are your plans now that the conversion bureaus are closed and the serum recalled?”

“Well Mr. Front Page, PER retains the ability to produce serum if we so choose. We will continue to cleanse the earth of its filth for its eventually rebirth at the hands of the goddesses.

“So am I to understand that PER still has ponification serum?” The newspony replied.

“No comment.” The reply was as simple as it was ominous.

The newspony cleared his throat. “So any last remarks?”

“Superabimus, we shall prevail!” The human exclaimed with passion. Grey just shook his head, respectfully declining.

“All right, that wraps this up.In other news the human race now stands a feeble one millio-” The newspony started, before John shut off the television. Well fuck. He cracked his neck and sighed.

He got up off the couch and grabbed his keys off the kitchen counter. “Come on son, once more to the truck-mobile. Then onwards to school.” John continued, not even bothering to check if Azure was behind him. The only confirmation he had was the sound of his hooves against the floor.

The stairs were mostly empty, except for some of the staff, who were about their various duties. The pair went down at a moderate pace reaching the lobby in two and a half minutes. He walked outside and was greeted by a rare sight, an overcast sky. John noted the occasion but kept moving to his truck.

He hit the unlock button on his truck fob, to which the truck chirped in response. They covered the rest of the short distance and John opened the driver’s door. Sitting down he leaned over and opened the door for Azure. “Hop in kiddo, I got candy.”

Azure chuckled at poor joke, “You’re so silly.” Then jumped into the car. “So where are we going?” The young pony asked.

“I told you, you’re going to school.” John replied while turned the keys in the ignition and the engine roared to life.

“Well, duh. But where? Is it down the block? Other side of town? Whats the school called? Give me something to work with here.” Azure snapped.

John put the truck in drive and started down the street. “Its about three miles from here, it’s called Valencia Park, which is where I went when I was your age. Its a nice little place.” He explained as the truck moved down the empty street, garnering looks from the various ponies on the sidewalk. For the first time. John didn’t mind it.

The truck was silent, but only for a moment when Azure asked a troubled question, “What if none of the other ponies like me?”

John had expected this. He recalled a speech his own father gave him long ago, whenever he needed advice. “Well boy-o, I’m going to give a speech that is an old Norris family tradition, passed down from father to son. Every generation adding to it. One day, you will tell it to your son and add your own bit. Here goes,” John cleared his throat.

“If they don’ like you, that’s their own damn problem. You’re you. That’ all ya are and all ya can be. You can either embrace it, run from it, or fight it. You can also kill yourself, but if ya do that I’ll bring ya back to kill you again. Don’t be afraid to get into a scrap, but try words first for god’s sake. If it does come to a fight, be sure to win, or failing that, take it like a man and don’t give up till he’s done. Don’t go around starting shit neither, nobody likes an asshole who goes around starting shit. Its okay to be afraid. Stand on your own two feet. It’s not okay to let fear stop you. Being afraid and going on in spite of that is the definition of courage. As for recreational drugs, if you got to do it, don’t let it get in the way of life. If you love someone, go for it, disregard what others may say. Love is rare enough and precious in all forms. Don’t abuse the one’s you-”

“Dad.” Azure interrupted.

“What is it?”

“I’m going to school. Not moving out.”

John shrugged, “Tradition dictates I say the whole thing. Almost done anyways. Now where was I? Ah yes. Don’t abuse the ones you love. One last thing, never ever betray those loyal to you. There. You were that close. That betrayal bit was mine.” John hit himself on the chest at the mention of his contribution, obviously proud.

“So what purpose does that speech serve besides killing time and advice?” Azure asked, sounding a little short.

“Well you forgot about being nervous for starters, and second adding to that speech is the step to manhood in this family my little pegasus. Hold onto your ass!” John spun the wheel all the way to the left, throwing Azure against the door and causing the tires to squeal.

“Holy hay!” Azure exclaimed while pressed firmly against the door. The truck pulled into the old school and into one of the many available parking spots.

“We’re here.” The human stated simply.

“I noticed.” Azure retorted while regaining composure. Azure looked out the window, all sorts of ponies his age were going in through the gate. His wings fluttered out and promptly returned flush. “Hey... Can you walk me to my classroom?”

John pondered for a moment and then agreed, “Sure, why the fuck not?” He turned off the engine and threw open his door as the truck shuddered to a halt. He slammed his door, moved around the front and opened Azure’s door. The pegasus hopped out onto the cool blacktop. John threw the door closed.

“C’mon kiddo, it’s this way.” John took the lead, going through the chain link gate. “Now you are in room twenty, which if I remember correctly is...” John hesitated a took a moment to familiarize himself with his old campus. “This way?” he pointed down the hall and to the right from where they stood. He double checked mentally. “Yeah. This way. Follow me.” John once again took point motioning for Azure to follow.

He moved down the hallway and to right. A few doors down was room twenty’s propped open green door. John went into the room first, followed by Azure. The room had about fifteen desks and a teacher’s desk. A majority of the seats were taken. John was surprised to see a multitude of adult ponies in the classroom. He turned to the white board which had ‘BRING YOUR FATHER TO SCHOOL!!!’ Fuck.

“Excuse me, but are you Mr. Wind?” The teacher, a yellow earth pony with a picture of chalkboard on her flank asked.

“Uh... no. I’m John Norris.” John corrected.

“Oh, but I thought you were Azure Wind’s father.”

“I am Azure’s father.” John was confused for moment then it clicked. “This is obviously some sort of big cultural misunderstanding. I am John Norris, thats a human name, My son is a pony, so he has a pony last name in place of a hereditary one.”

“Oh, I see. Well Mr. Norris, you can have a seat back there by Forest Mint. We will begin momentarily. Azure, why don’t you introduce yourself?” The teacher motioned towards the front.

Azure looked to his father, who just shrugged and took a seat in the back. Azure shifted around a little bit. He swallowed then gave a shaky introduction, “H-hi, I’m Azure Wind. I live with my dad.”

The entire class spoke in unison, “Hi Azure Wind!” The teacher instructed Azure to take a seat, Azure complied sitting next to a deep green unicorn filly with a lighter mane of the same color. The filly shot him a bright smile which he returned weakly. If John didn't know better he'd say Azure was blushing slightly.

“John is that you?” Called an all too familiar voice.

John turned to see his old friend, Cream Baker, better known as Grindah. “No shit. What are you doing here broseph?” He beamed.

“The twins are mine.” He motioned toward two identical looking earth pony fillys.

‘No shit, you never told me.”

“You never asked, now shhh. It begins.”

The teacher walked to the front of the class and cleared her throat. The room fell silent and the teacher spoke, “Hello class, for the visitors and new folk, I’m Miss Shale Quarry I was born and a raised on a rock farm. I teach this class. Today is ‘Bring your father to school’ day. We will be having your fathers talk about what they do.” The teacher proceeded to take down a list of the other fathers names, John’s being the last. She called the first up.

A very serious looking white unicorn with vanilla folder cutie mark stepped up to the front of the class. “Hello, I am Dawn Filer.” The deep green filly next to Azure acknowledged her father with a wave. “I am an accountant. I work with numbers, organize files, handle payrolls and do various other work to keep businesses running. Anypony have any questions?” The class was dead silent. Forest Mint shuffled in her chair and her father was a bit flustered.

Shale Quarry called up the next one, An orange earth pony that looked like he could crush boulders with a half hearted buck, in fact that was his cutie mark. “Ah’m Stonebreaker. Ah work construction.” The earth pony drawled in a southern accent. “Questions?” Two hooves shot up. “You.” Stonebreaker pointed at a young orange pegasus.

“What do you do in construction?” The pegasus asked.

“Ah usually haul around beams and clear land fer development. Ah do what’s required of me though.” He answered. “Next.”

The question came from Forest Mint whom John noticed Azure was just a little shy from full on staring at. John enjoyed an inward laugh at the sight. “What kind of things do you build?”

“All sorts o’ things, playgrounds, bakeries, houses... Whatever needs built really.” He paused. “Anypony else got a question?” The class didn’t respond. “Okay then. Guess I’ll take a seat.” The earth pony moved slowly to a seat in the back. There were only three ponies left then it was John’s turn.

The next one called up to the whiteboard was a Pegasus wearing a flight suit. “Hi!” He was bursting with energy, “I’m Blitz! I’m the captain of the local weather team!” The hooves of all four pegasi in the class instantly shot up. “Yes?” He pointed at Azure. This should be interesting.

“Exactly what does your job entail given your leadership position versus a casual member of the weather team?” Azure asked.

The well spoken question caught Blitz by surprise, obviously whatever he rehearsed did not entail such a question. “Uhhh, I mostly just either receive orders and give or pass them on to the weather team. I usually just pass on the orders from the mayor though...” The other hooves went down. Heh.

The leader of the weather team walked back to the chair set up in the back, murmuring something about ‘a tough crowd.’ Shale Quarry called up the next father, a unicorn with a yellow coat and orange mane walked up to the front of the class. “Hello, I’m Aquis. I’m a firefighter at station two.” Once again a small collection of hooves shot into the air, Azure’s among them. “Yes?” He pointed at a pure white Unicorn filly.

“Um, how many fires have you put out?” She asked nervously.

“I’ve been involved in twelve large fires since arriving here from Equestria.” He answered.”Next question?” He asked openly. The next one came from jet black pegasus colt.

“Have you saved anypony? Like from a fire?” He asked.

The firepony looked lost in thought for a moment before he answered, “Three times. The last one was here. The other two back in Equestria. I... don’t really like talking about it...” There was a small awkward silence before Aquis spoke up once more, “Alright, one more question then.” He pointed at Azure, “Kid with the interesting questions.”

“Um, yes. I have two questions. First off is the origins of your name, is it a derivation of aqua for water, or does it come from the greek mythos slash zodiac sign of Aquarius which means water carrier?” Aquis was about to respond when Azure shot of the next question. “Also, you said you originate from Equestria. Why, may I ask, did you leave to come here?” Azure finished.

The orange maned Unicorn coughed twice into his hoof, “Um, I just like the way it sounds. I wasn’t aware that there were lines to be drawn. As for why I came out here, well, I’ve been here for two months and been involved in twelve fires. Back in Equestria I was only involved in one fire in the ten years I’ve worked there as a firepony. I was needed here more.” He answered solemnly.

“Okay, can we have the next father up here? Mister Cream Baker?” The teacher spoke quickly interjecting the downcast looking firepony.

“Hi, I’m Cream Baker and I run a baked goods shop called Top Goods. Are there any questions?” Grindah beamed. Only one hoof raised, one of the earth pony twins in the class. “Of course you would ask a question. Proceed.”

“When are you going to teach me how to cook daddy?” The filly asked.

“This isn’t the time sweetie, we can talk about this at home.”

“But daddy-” The young filly whined.

“No buts, last time you set the kitchen on fire. Your special talent is not cooking.” Grindah rubbed his face with his hoof. “Anypony else?” Silence. “Okay then. John, it’s your turn now.” He said while walking back to the seats.

Before John could get up, Shale Quarry spoke up, “We have a very special guest today as you all know, we have a human in class today!” She turned to face John. “Mr. Norris? If you’d please?” She motioned towards the chalk board.

John got up to his feet and made his way to the front of the class. He stood before a room of fourteen young ponies and six of their fathers. He cracked his neck from side to side, yawned, then stated, “Hello, I am John Norris. I used to play the stock markets way back when and became obscenely rich. I am now retired. Questions?” Thirteen hooves shot up. Shit. “From left to right, you first.” He pointed a beige earth filly.

“How do fingers work?” The young pony asked.

John was taken a little aback by the question. “Um. I do not really know how to explain it... I just use them.” He wriggled his fingers to make his point.

The next question came from a unicorn filly. “What’s it like being soooo tall?”

John laughed a little, “I’m not that tall by human standards, not by a long shot. I’ve seen plenty taller than myself. Next question?”

It came from a jet black pegasus “Just how rich are you anyways?’

John coughed dryly “Ummm... I have about a few billion bits.” The looks of envy elicited from the response were absolute. There was a short moment of silence. “So, how’s about that there next question, eh?”

“My daddy says humans are inherently evil. Are you evil?” Forest Mint asked with genuine curiosity.

“Uhhh... Nooo...” John was little weirded out by the question. “Some humans are no doubt, but then again, so are some ponies. Now to you, the honey colored earth pony.”

“Um, yes. So what do you do retired being so young and rich?” She asked a bit nervously.

“Whatever I want really. I usually just kick back with my son. I have nothing stopping me or making me do anything.” He replied. “Next question?”

The next two in line, cream colored earth fillies, counted off to each other silently then spoke in unison, “What’s meat taste like?!” they shouted.

John grew a little scared at the nature of the question. Only Grindah’s kids... “W-well, it’s kinda bad unless you cook it. Then its pretty kick ass.”

An eager looking pegasus spat out the next question, “Can humans fly?”

“Not without a machine.” This seemed to make the pegasus sad. Okay? “Next question?”

“Do humans really have fangs?” The unicorn asked. John opened his mouth and pointed to his canines in response.

“Are you a member of the HLF?” A Unicorn colt asked.

“No. Never ask me that again. Just because I’m human doesn't mean I’m a bad guy. I never hurt anyone on purpose.” John glared at the unicorn colt, who sunk down a little in his chair. “Next question.”

“Uh, uhm, yes, Why didn’t you get ponified?” A unicorn filly asked.

John paused for a moment. “Well, that’s... very personal. I’m sorry to say.” He spoke a bit nervously. The filly looked sad, John rubbed his arm, “Next question?”

A pegasus pony with a mane and tail the washed form light blue to pure white asked John’s his next question.“So what was life like before ponies came?”

“Now that's a good question.’ John admitted, “What’s your name kid?”

“Wind Rapids.”

“Well, Rapids, let me tell you of the time before contact.” John cleared his throat. “Once upon a time there was something not too unlike peace, yes there were wars and murders and thievery and all sorts of corruption. But there was relatively little. The air could be a bit sour, the food a bit nasty, but it was life. I grew up around humans and thought nothing of it, for that was all there really was. My dad was a cruel and bitter remnant of the war on terror.My mom was a sweet thing, a bit too soft spoken though. Life went on. Then AI’s came about, I was there as an investor when the first one was ‘born’. Within eighteen months the job market was shit. Crime was high. War was approaching faster everyday.” John paused for effect. “Then something happened. You lot showed up. Promising happiness and health and a paradise, all we had to do was become you. That’s more or less a brief look at things.” John shrugged on the last line. The class seemed taken aback. “So, last question then.”

It was an earth pony filly, “Do you have a cutie mark?”

John noticed she lacked hers, “Humans don’t get cutie marks.”

“Then how do know what your special talent is?” The filly looked a mix between sad and confused.

John shrugged for what felt like the hundredth time that day. “We just do if we ever figure it out. Any more questions?” The class seemed to have their thirst satiated.

The teacher instructed John to move to the back of the class. He sat down and reclined in the seat. It was revealed that it was a short day today, due to some Equestrian holy day. John didn’t pay attention to what it was exactly. The teacher assigned some chapters in a book and released them shortly after. John walked over to Azure as he bid Forest mint goodbye. John motioned for Azure to follow him. The pair headed out the classroom door, “So, what’d you think of school Azure?” John asked of the young pony.

Azure seemed to dwell on it for a moment.before answering, “It seems alright, this was my first day though, one occurrence does not make a pattern. So I can’t really judge.” John opened both of the truck doors and hopped in the driver’s seat as Azure did the same into the passengers.

John started the truck and slyly posed a question, “So... Azure... Anypony catch your fancy?” Azure’s normally blue face was bright red. He started down the road to the apartment. “Aha! I knew it! You like what’s-her-face!”

“Forest Mint.” Azure corrected.

“Heh. Take it easy kiddo, I think she likes you too.” John leaned into his seat, reclining.

The young pegasus seemed to light up, “R-really? You think so?”

“If she doesn't she’s batshit insane. Crazier than your ol’ dad.” He smirked. “Why don’t you invite her and the rest of your class to your birthday party this Saturday. So how about it?” John pulled into his parking spot at the complex.

“Alright.” Azure agreed. They got out of the truck and headed inside to the penthouse condo they shared.

__________________________________________________________________NOTES:

I know what John’s pony form is going to be, as well as how Azure gets his cutie mark and what it is now. No word on John’s though. Scratch that. Best part, some of you know how he looks but don’t know you know!

Town is Fullerton, California. It may or may not have changed its name in the fic due to ponies. Deal with it.

Cultural misunderstandings should be more common eh?

What in the fuck is THAT? Is that CANON SHIPPING? In MY AAF?! But HOW?

So we have Azure, Forest, Two unnamed Pegasi colts, one filly, earth pony twins three more earth ponies. then four unicorns (not including forest)

I made a seating chart for ya’ll at the end. enjoy. I murdered myself over it. FOR YOU.

One for the Road.

AKA: A Horrible Fic by Krass McWriter

It was late as the monitor lit the room. The cigarette smoke danced through soft light. The page simply displayed two billion four hundred and thirty five million . Crasher, as he was known, stared at it periodically for weeks, afraid to refresh it and see the numbers plummet further. He opened a new tab and brought up a news website. Black Horizon, his favorite band got ponified. The last great metal band. He went back to to page with the numbers and hit refresh. It had gone down further than he thought. The page told him that the total human population of the earth was two billion flat. “Where is the hate in this world?” Crasher murmured to himself. “Mankind is losing its hate. Its unfathomable rage is being drained. The horrors and pain its bore witness too are going. This is unacceptable.”

Crasher decided it was time to get the band back together, after a few phone calls and a hour, He had his old group of friends back together. ‘It has come to my attention that there are no longer any musicians preaching to the masses that they should hate their neighbor and the whole rotting world. I propose we fix that.” He explained once more, as he had over the phone.

“How do you aim to do that.” Called a wild looking man from the back.

“Thats simple Cardinal. We’re going to make a band. It will contain all the hate and rage and pain of the human race.”

“Well thats fine and dandy, but where would we even play?” Cardinal shot.

“Ive already lined up a gig the local house of blues. They’ve been short bands and we have a spot when we want it.” Crasher said with a smug smile. “So who's with me?” It was unanimous, on that day in that odd hour, the last great metal band was born.

----------------------------------ONE-MONTH-OF-PRACTICE-LATER-----------------------------------------

Crasher burst into the room where the other band members were relaxing. “All right guys. we’re ready. We need a name though, lets hear some ideas.”He announced to the room.

There was a short period of silence until Breaker spoke up, “How about The Pauper’s Pride?”

“Thats stupid and you should feel stupid for saying that. Next!” Crasher said blunty.

This time it was Eights who opened his word hole. “I got an idea.”

“Now thats something.” Titan chimed in.

“Ladies please!” Crasher intervened. “You were saying Eights?”

“Yeah, how about something that deals with hard ship? Like Broken Homes and Broken Minds?” Eights finished.

“Better, but not quite. Anything to add Cardinal?”

“No.”

Long moments past by before a fantastic idea struck Crasher. “I’ve got it. Five Years of Broken Glass.”

“I like it.”

“Kick-ass.”

“Sounds like we have a name.”

“Excellent, lets get ready Gigs in a week.

___________________________AT_THE_GIG_________________________________

The curtains parted, in front of him was a mixed crowd of humans an some ponies. Crasher grabbed the mic, “All right all you mother fuckers! We are here to bring back all the violence an death an sorrow and pain that used to be metal music. I am Crasher an Ill be on the bass guitar and lead vocals. On our rhythm guitar is the sexually sensational Cardinal. We have Titan on the lead guitar over there, and on drums and back up vocals is Eights! We are Five Years of Broken Glass and this song is Man vs Beast vs Self!” The music started and the mosh pit opened up immediately. Once their time was up, they packed up and got off the stage.

“You guys were amazing!”

Crasher turned to the sound. “Huh? Oh yeah, thanks. Just trying to bring back all the hate that seems lacking in music now a days. It used to be you kill some ones entire family and rape them repeatedly when your angry, now its you don’t give them your secret carrot cake recipe.”

“Yeah. Hey, I have revenue that would love to have you, maybe even endorse you given you message, give it a call.” The man handed him a business card that read simply Christopher Hall, HLF HQ with a phone number to contact him at.

____________________________________________LATER__________________________

*riiiiiiiiing* *riiiiiiiiing* *riiiii-* “Hello, you’ve reached the HLF HQ. This is Christopher Hall speaking. How may I help you?”

“Uh, this is Crasher from Five Years of Broken Glass, you said you had a gig for us, and maybe an endorsement?”

“Oh yes, I showed a video of your performance to the boss. He’d love to have you!”

“All right, when and where?” Crasher took down the details.

_______________________________________HLF HQ GIG.____________________________

“Alright, sound checks done.” Eights informed Crasher. Crasher ackknowledged this and went to check in with Hall. He was pleased. Some good humans that can truly appreciate his music, his rage. people who have themselves been through five years of broken glass. To hell and back. Fellow members of his dying race. He had the weirdest boner.

He sent a message to Hall stating that they were ready. Then he plopped down in a comfy chair that was behind stage and chilled until the show started.

Some time passed and he was informed that that it was time to go on stage. He introduced the band. Then, they put all the rage they had for the world on blast. The crowd went mad, as id the band. Kindred spirits, wanting nothing more than mankind’s hate to live on.

The show ended. They packed and mingled with the HLF members. The leader approached them and offered endorsement. They accepted readily.

_____________________________________________________OVER TIME_______________

The band played more and more gigs, were in shows, on TV, interviewed. They produced an album followed by a second and third one each spread out by a year. They became a sensation, a phenomenon, and over time, a movement.

They even had pony fans, growing in number as the human population plumetted. Then the band broke up. Conflicting goals and interests, they said. They announced that they would do one last concert, entitled “One For The Road: A goodbye from us to you.

_________________________The One for The Road Concert.___________________________

The heavy curtain separated the crowd from the band. Crasher looked back from his spot at the band he’s been together with for the last four years. “Alright, lets do this.” He set the curtain on fire. The band started, opening with the song the opened with all those years ago in the house of blues, as it burned away. The screaming, the shouting, the crowd was wild.

As the band was nearing the end of the concert, Crasher made an announcement, “Its been real guys, all the hate we spread, the rage we’ve caused, the five riots we started.” The crowd cheered at the mention of the riots, they lead to many pony deaths and burning of conversion bureaus. “Yes, yes. Its been a fun four years. I want to leave you with a parting gift, one last new song.” The crowed erupted again “This one is called One for The Road!” The band started, for the first time in their history, slowly.The tune was bittersweet.

The song came to an end, the band took a bow. Crasher heard a whistling noise as he was about to walk away. Looking the source he uttered his last words as a human, “Fuck!” Escaped from his mouth as a ponification potion hit him square in the chest. Thirteen bottles of potion flooded the stage, all the members were hit as well as some of the crowd. Crasher blacked out.

A brilliant white pony with wings and a horn came into view. It was wearing some sort of crown. Crasher didn’t recognize the area. everything seemed off. He realized he must be dreaming. Looking back to the intimidating figure. Then its smiled at him an he felt... warm? Everything started fading, as it disappeared from view, he swore he heard it say ‘You are forgiven, You can rest now’ before it faded out of view.

______________________________________A New Life_______________________________

Crasher awoke to a strange sensation. He tried wiggling his fingers an toes but they wouldn’t respond. He snapped open his eyes, there was a stone gray muzzle in his view. He was in the ruins of the stage, none of the other band members were anywhere to be seen. Something more was off. He felt perfectly fine, in fact better than fine. For the first time for years he felt happy, no, elated, like a weight was taken off his chest. He started laughing, he felt wonderful. “I need a new name... Crasher is dead. From now on I shall be Bass Treble. I... I need to spread this feeling, this joy.” He picked up his guitar an slung it over his back. “Where is the love in this world?” He asked himself, laughing, as he walked off to a new life.

Both my radio clock and my AI unit battle over who gets to wake me up; my AI unit gives a small shot of adrenaline and endorphins to spur my body into motion while the radio automatically tunes into the local country station. I stumble out of bed and meander my way to the dresser that the radio is sitting on, my mind unsure as to whether the creaking I hear is the foot-smoothed boards beneath me or my old bones groaning in protest.

After what seems like an eternity I reach the radio and mash the snooze button until the discordant warbles of a talentless hack stop ringing in my ears; nothing gets me out of bed faster than the all-consuming hatred I harbour for country music. After silencing the banshee wailing I open the drawers to the mahogany dresser, pulling out some comfortable slacks and a white undershirt, its pits stained yellow from years of neglect and me being too frivolous to buy stain-releaser for it. It’s strictly for house-wear anyways, so it’s not like I have to worry about someone chastising me about its state. I open another drawer and pull out some plaid socks, briefly entertaining the idea of doing ‘the hop’ to get them on before letting common sense take over.

I take a seat at the foot of my bed and begin to smother my feet in the sock’s warm embrace while I bring up some basic AI routines.

“Good mornin’ guvnor. Did yeh have yer forty winks?” The AI inquired with a cockney accent.

“I don’t know, you tell me. After all, you’re the one who was monitoring my melatonin levels,” I reply gruffly before adding “Oh, and switch to a British accent. I’m tired of talking to some street urchin.”

“Of course sir. Would you be interested in today’s news?” it asked as it took a dignified approach to speech.

“Give me the highlights,” I answer dismissively; there’s always the off chance of something intelligent slipping through the cracks, but nevertheless I mentally brace myself for the inevitable deluge of end-of-the-world drivel.

“Well, much to the chagrin of football fans the Superbowl has been delayed for a week since the Texas biodome was cracked in the last tornado. Officials don't know what hit it but even considering that the tornado was a category seven they think whatever damaged the dome had to be at least a freight car.”

“I don't care about football anymore Augs. There hasn't been a decent player in Texas since Howard quit anyways.” I finish pulling on my socks, the process taking an unusually long time due to the fact I put the left one on inside-out, and start heading downstairs.

“I shall keep that in mind, sir. Perhaps you would be more interested in the current deployment of the U.N. Army?”

“Sure, why not?” I answer as I reach the kitchen and pour myself some orange juice; the stuff nearly doubled in price when they had to grow it in hydroponic greenhouses and it tastes half as good but I'll be damned if I don't get my morning OJ.

This time, instead of reciting the words from an article himself, he taps into an archived data stream and plays it. A typical mellow female newscaster voice begins to echo in my head, a carefully controlled neutral pitch that belies the delicately spun words designed to elicit the most marketable type of emotion; outrage. “I’m here with U.S. Secretary of Defence and Chairman of the U.N. Peacekeeping Forces, General Brigantys, today to discuss the current evacuation efforts of the British Isles. General?”

A harsh and gravely voice now fills my skull, its relative uniqueness providing a stark contrast to the de-facto reporter-speak. “I am pleased to announce that we are, in a fortuitous change of pace, ahead of schedule and should be evacuating the last of the survivors within the next week, barring those who refuse assistance and work crews who are attempting to retrieve crucial and or hazardous materials.”

“Just about every available ship and crew capable of making the trip between Britain and the U.S. has been recruited, some might even say shanghaied, into helping the effort. This is possibly the largest rescue operation ever launched in human history, but that begs the question as to just how effective it has been. Just what kind of numbers are we looking at General?

“While I hate to be the bearer of bad news I am afraid to say that only a tenth of Britain’s population will be successfully rescued, meaning that we are looking at around half a million individuals.”

“And this is with over a thousand ships constantly making the trip to deliver supplies and rescue victims. General, could you tell our listeners just how this all came to be?”

“Well, I’m sure most of them have already heard about the flooding caused by the polar ice caps melting. However, the main problem stemmed from mass panicking as major cities were flooded. We here at the Peacekeeping forces have a simple rule; five minutes without air, five days without water, five weeks without food, and five months without proper shelter. These points in time represent, very roughly, how long a normal human can survive without the aforementioned, and we hit the second one alarmingly fast.”

“So you’re saying that it was a lack of water that cost so many souls their lives?”

“It was certainly one of the main contributing factors, yes. The rising sea water contaminated many fresh water wells and lakes and it should be mentioned that it takes a surprisingly small amount of salt to make water unfit for consumption. However, most people didn’t live long enough to die of thirst.”

“Could you elaborate for us?”

“Well, the initial tidal waves, storm surges and hurricanes destroyed most major elements of Britain’s infrastructure, cutting off power to almost the entire country. This caused mass panicking and riots which by themselves probably caused thousands of deaths. Soon most major cities were flooded; both with water and people trying to reach higher ground, and without power the government wasn’t able to concert their forces. It was then, when Britain’s populace was stuck outside in massive gridlocks and the government, lacking a way to warn its citizens, that another hurricane swept in.’

“How horrible,” the news anchor exclaimed, although the way she said it suggested that it was said more out of professional reflexes then actual sympathy, a theory that she proved for me when she asked “Just how many died that day?”

“We believe that in the first week almost half the population died, and as high as a quarter in that one day. After that those who didn’t have a fresh water supply quickly followed and those who did weren’t exactly willing to share and share alike.”

“Are you saying that people willingly let others die just to hoard their water?”

“Yes. However, you have to remember that they had no way of knowing that a rescue operation was already underway and it is only natural that they would protect such a valuable resource.”

“Thank you for clarifying that issue General. I take it the rest died from thirst and hunger?”

“Thirst certainly; we found many who had grown so desperate they drank the salt water. Hunger didn’t become an issue for a bit longer and by then the first aid ships had reached the coast. The last rule, regarding shelter, became more of an issue due to the chaotic weather and a very significant number of the dead showed signs of hypothermia.”

“Thank you for answering those questions for us General. Do you have time for a few more?”

“I think I can squeeze in a few more minutes.”

“Much appreciated. This is something more then a few of you opponents have asked; why Britain?”

“There are several reasons for that. Firstly, the U.S. has long enjoyed a mutually beneficial relationship with Britain, both as an ally in war and as trade partners. Since the U.S. was already organizing an aid fleet we here at the U.N. decided it would be a good idea to concert our efforts with the U.S. Navy.”

“And your dual standing as the U.S. Secretary of Defence and Chairman of the U.N. didn’t influence your decision?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Could I ask you to enlighten our viewers as to why this wasn’t the case? Why didn’t you go to France, Africa or commit additional ships to the current operation for evacuating the population of South America?”

“It was a matter of logistics; we could save three British civilians, two French citizens, or one African. I am, of course, merely making an example and I couldn’t say as to how many we would rescue, but I’m sure you get the point.”

“Why wouldn’t you have been able to save as many of them?”

“As I said; logistics. Our ships are currently stationed in the northern hemisphere since the storms are, at least so far, relatively mild to those in the southern hemisphere. Most of them are stationed around either Alaska, to bring Russian refugees onto North American soil, or New Brunswick and Newfoundland in Canada. We plotted and estimated travel time for our ships to make it to any number of other countries and the British Isles simply presented a far more attainable target. I also feel it prudent to mention that even with the considerably more manageable weather up there we still lost many ships and crews to storms, a number that would have undoubtedly been far higher if we had gone for more southerly countries.”

“And what about the South America operation?”

“We’re already pulling our ships out of there. Refugees looking for transport have dropped off dramatically and the weather makes for dangerous waters on the best of days.”

“Now that the British Isles and South America evacuations are wrapping up will you be dedicating your ships to other rescue operations?”

“No. The storms have made naval travel prohibitively dangerous and our we’re being forced to dip into our emergency stockpiles of fuel, fuel that can be used to much better ends here on home soil. Aerial rescue of VIPs will continue for a few more months until we’ve exhausted the fuel supply we’ve set aside for them, the storms become too large to travel through or we simply run out of people to save.”

“Thank you very much for your time General. Before you leave I’d like to ask one more question.”

“It depends on what it is. If I can answer it I will.”

“What do you say to the allegations that you and the U.N. are focusing on rescuing first-world, rich and or educated individuals over the general populace?”

“That’s an excellent question. Let me evade you,” Brigantys replies as he gives a fake-sounding laugh, his jest seeming to imply that he thinks little of the query. “Let me ask *you* something for once; if the world was ending and you could choose one person to live with you, would you choose your scullery maid or a university graduate?”

“Well, I’d say I’d want someone who was smart.”

“It seems like we think along similar lines Miss… Why, I’m afraid I didn’t get your name.”

“I’m actually a Misses, but you can just call me Sella.”

“Ah, yes. As I was saying, it seems we think along the same lines Sella. Now then, I’m afraid my time is up…”

“Again, thank you for giving up your valuable time to enlighten us General.”

“It was my pleasure. Have a good day Sella.”

“You too General.” The rustling sound of a headpiece being taken off briefly comes over the recording; you know money’s tight when they don’t even bother cutting out ambient noise. “To those who joined us halfway through that was General Brigantys, Secretary of U.S. Defence and Chairman of the U.N. Peacekeeping Forces, offering his views about the progress of various rescue operations around the world. We’ll be talking to former pop sensation Justin Bieber in our ‘Where are they now’ segment after these messages.” An ad jingle starts up for a supposedly waterproof sealant but, fortuitously for my sanity, Augs cuts the signal before it worms its way into my brain to fester.

“Did you find that informative, sir?” he implored; while he was an AI he still had a basic personality and wanted, as any human in his position would, me to commend his selection.

I’m in a better mood after my sub-par orange juice, but I’m still far from generous. I decide to fall back on the tried-and-true reaction of not really having a reaction, AKA indifference.

“It was fine. Still too end-of-the-world for me but at least it was a sensible debate for once,” I reply.

“I aim to please, sir,” comes Augs reply.

Just then a little light appears in my peripheral vision, meaning that my chipset just received a message from the wi-net.

“Sir, you have just received a communiqué from an individual going by the name of Colonel Hastings,” Augs helpfully informs me as I roll my eyes; I’m not quite senile enough to forget the message I just got.

“Although you’ve probably already forgotten why you’re annoyed at me, sir,” Augs pipes in.

“I don’t remember giving you permission to intercept my thoughts Augs,” I growl.

“You never turned off your AI Recorder when you went to sleep. Don’t worry though sir, I deleted that dream you had; it certainly wouldn’t do for someone of station to see THAT,” the AI chided lightly.

Despite myself I chuckle softly and reply with “Well, why didn’t you tell me I left it on when I woke up?”

“Because you didn’t ask, sir,” he stated matter-of-factly. “However, if you feel strongly about it I can turn off the recording and delete this session.”

“No, no, it’s fine. Still, I wish you hadn’t deleted that dream. If it really was that racy it might have been worth watching.”

“I can still recover it if you wish, sir.” I give an affirmative, take a seat and watch my dream for the next five minutes.

I finally decide I can’t watch anymore. “Augs?”

“Yes, sir?”

“Destroy this in whatever your digital equivalent of fire is…”

“Yes?” Augs replies hesitantly, knowing that this tone of voice meant I wasn’t done yet.

“And then burn it again for good measure,” I finish with… well, finality.

“I shall do all in my power to annihilate it from this plane of reality, sir.”

“You do that. Now, what about that e-mail?” I intone as I open it up to answer the question myself.

A warning message pops up that looks like it’s hovering over the bare wooden table, although I know that in reality it’s literally just my mind seeing things.

“I’m afraid that the encryption on the message will not allow it to be displayed unless I am shut down, sir.” Augs says, answering the question that I had yet to ask.

“Can you decrypt it yourself?” I enquire; in this day and age it’s generally a bad idea to open a message without having your AI acting as a firewall, no matter who it’s coming from.

Possibly, although I have never seen this type of encryption before… I could do a quick scan and see if I can crack it if you don’t mind waiting, sir.” I give him permission to do so and patiently wait a few minutes before he returns from his task. “It’s very thorough and I can’t find a reference point anywhere for it, meaning that it’s completely new. Despite that if I was to be given a few days I’m sure I could crack it enough to check for malicious programs.”

I nod in reply, an automatic action that takes place even though there isn’t anyone to see it. “You can poke around in it later Augs. For now just shut yourself down; I’ll wake you up and fill you in on what the message has to say after I’m done.” He quickly complies and the omniscient feeling of someone reading over my shoulder disappears with him. My chipset quickly locks down, largely shutting itself from the outside world and, more importantly, outside threats.

Of course, there’s always the off chance that I’ve downloaded a Trojan, although I inwardly note that the odds of a bespectacled zit-faced hacker having the time and expertise to write a completely new code script that can stump my technically-illegal AI just for shits’n’giggles is nigh-impossible.

With a hint of trepidation I open the message and find my fears to be groundless when a middle-aged man, complete with a decorated breast suit covered with a myriad of colourful badges and pins, materializes in front of me. “Ah, hello General Harth. I trust you are in good health?” the man inquires.

It takes me a second to realize that it was not, in fact, a message but rather a live stream. A small part of me panics, thinking that my chipset wasn’t as walled off as I thought, before I realize that the signal is coming over one of the few secured channels that always remain open. I quickly gather my wits and reply with “Err, yes, or at least as good as one as old as I can be. I’m sorry for the delay in replying; I thought this was just an E-mail and had my AI check it for viruses.”

He gives a short laugh before answering back. “Don’t worry General, I have plenty of things to keep me occupied, such as testing out our new software encryption. Speaking of which, how did you AI fair against it?”

“He quickly gave up on it.” I don’t mention that I was the one who had told him give up on it for the time being and that I expected him to have it cracked by the end of the week.

“Seems like those techies know what they’re doing after all. But enough with the idle chit-chat, I’m sure your itching to know just what it is that I’m contacting an illustrious General such as yourself about.”

The first thing I think about is that I’m not a General anymore, beyond honorary titles at least, and the second is that the only itching I have is the one I have a prescription cream for. I decide to indulge him anyways.

“I must admit that I’m curious as to why you’re calling me, yes.” I answer truthfully.

“Well, I’m afraid that even over this private line I can’t tell you much but once you get here I shall be able to brief you in person.”

“And where is ‘here’ exactly?” I press.

A smirk dashes across his face. “Why, the Large Hadron Collider, of course,” comes his answer, the casualness of the way he says it sounding as if he’s reciting the time of day.

I narrow my eyes at the unexpected revelation. “That’s in Sweden,” I state, trying to hide my confusion as I do so.

“Ah, at least some of my fellow Americans know how to read a map still. Yes, it’s in Sweden, and you’ll be taking a sub-orbital flight from base forty-three to get here. I’ll save you the time of looking it up yourself and give you the co-ordinates. I hope to see you soon,” he concludes as he prepares to disconnect.

“Wait!” I demand. “Just how do I know that this isn’t some kind of joke?”

The Colonel sits back down, his face briefly flashing a bemused grin. “Of course. I’ll send you the orders, direct from the President himself…” he begins anew as a fresh piece of mail pops up in my peripheral vision, “…and, of course, you may feel free to contact base forty-three beforehand. In fact, I recommend it since if weather gets too rough there they may send you to a different station to catch the flight. I trust that answers your questions General. Have a pleasant trip.” And with that the man disappeared, to be replaced by my modest kitchen.

I give a loud sigh. Today is going to be a long one.

I drain the pulpy remains of my orange juice before bringing Augs back up, my body giving an involuntary shiver as the feeling of iced liquid mercury flows over my brain. “Did you manage to record that or do I have to play second-hand messenger?” I ask him as I unceremoniously dump the last few vestiges of liquid from the cup into the tepid sink water.

“No sir, that won’t be necessary. You might want to bring up the fact that his oh-so-special encryption doesn’t block passive programs,” he replies, the sarcasm in his voice evident, although I’m sure his unusual outburst is mostly due to the fact that he had been brushed off as being some mere civilian model; for an artificial construct he was quite proud. “I managed to get a good look at it when he was streaming you and I’ve pushed my estimated original estimates for decrypting it up to a few hours, and that’s with me only dedicating twenty percent of my cycles to it.”

“He did seem a bit too smug about it. I’ll enjoy bringing him down a peg Augs.”

“The pleasure is all mine, sir. Now then, about how you’re getting there…” he began.

“I’ll leave it up to you to figure out the best way, although I want you to place a preference on above-land routes and to make sure that base forty-three has favourable weather conditions,” I interrupt him as I give him his commands. I could have easily done it all mentally, of course, but my years as a Sergeant had instilled the benefits of vocalization into me.

“Of course sir. I take it you’ll be freshening up while I’m doing so?”

I pause for a moment to sniff my armpit and immediately regret it as my nose attempts to recede into my nasal cavity. “Yeah, I think I’m going to be going for a shower fir…”

My answer is waylaid by Augs’ giving off a little ping and declaring “Finished sir.”

“…That was fast.” I answer, a littler perturbed that he had completed the task I had set out for him so quickly. “What’s the route?” I ask as I head back up the stairs to the master bathroom’s shower.

“We’ll be going overland on Highway 103 until we reach the Teleth mountain range, at which point we’ll be going down into Tunnel M30 due to the mountain pass being blocked by a recent avalanche. After that it’ll be a short drive to the base. Total travel time will be around two-and-a-half hours,” he answers clinically.

“Good work Augs. You can take the next fifteen for yourself,” I say as I open the door to the bathroom and flick on the lights and fan. The room is quickly flooded with the warm yellow glow of the LED array above the sink as the fan starts to hum.

“I think I’ll go see weather AI is up to. She’s been rather depressed since that storm front hit Toronto,” Augs explains as he fades away again, only to return a moment later with “Oh, and sir, do you wish for me to keep the recorder active?”

“Might as well, in case I think of anything in the shower. Turn off visual recording though, for obvious reasons.”

“Indeed, sir,” and with that he vacated my mind again, this time not immediately returning. I turn the knob on the shower, years of practice and experience guiding my hand to the sweet spot where I didn’t get cooked like a lobster or go into stage-three hypothermia. I shed my clothes and step into the shower, the hot water feeling like burning needles puncturing my skin before my body acclimates to the difference in temperature. I soon settle into the pleasurably painful sensation of scalding water running down me, the rivulets draining from my hair in tiny arcing waterfalls.

I enjoy the relaxing effect for a minute before I fall into the usual routine; another quick rinse of my hair followed by a small rub of shampoo, left to ferment on my scalp as I attack my skin with a rough brush, before I let the nozzle’s rain wash it all off. I shut off the flow and step out of the shower, the pea-soup thick steam being eaten by the happily chugging fan. I grab a towel and dry myself off, leaving one of the corners to wipe down the cloudy mirror.

Soon a weathered and wrinkled face greets me, its gritty shadow calling for trimming while the thin grey wisps on top demand another round of Rogaine. A slightly crooked nose, eventually not taking to the constant resetting, also requests that I pluck it unless I want to look like a walrus. Above and to the sides of the aforementioned lie a pair of eyes, a lifetime of hardships and work hidden in their turquoise depths. The only thing that doesn’t look like it’s been at the wrong end of Murphy’s Law are the straight white teeth.

It should be mentioned that they’re dentures.

Going into the shower feels like it lifts years off my life, and looking in the mirror after I’m done makes me realize just how old I am. I experimentally flex my arm and regain a touch of my self-appreciation; at least they still have a hint of the toned muscle that had carried me through my trials and tribulations.

A few minutes later I’ve finished shaving, the smooth and clean-cut look achieved with a simple barber’s straight-edge, a humble blade of metal that not even hundreds of years of technological advancement can match. I exit the bathroom, flicking off the lights and fan as I make my way to the bedroom. This time, instead of delving into the drawers for clothes, I open up the adjacent closet and fish out some more becoming textiles. In short order I’m dressed in a simple button-up shirt and comfortable slacks. I then proceed to pull out a travel case and fill it with a generous number of assorted clothing; I highly doubt I’m going over to Sweden for a quick jaunt before getting home in time to catch the evening news.

The case is filled to the brim within a few minutes, barring the last inch or so. Into this cavity I deposit my ceremonial suit, its fabric protected by a vacuum-sealed plastic sheath that lightly crinkles as I fold it into the case. The gold-coloured trim catches the light for a second, making the chevrons briefly stand out from the dull olive green that the rest of the suit was dyed. Beside it I place the small container that holds all of my medals, pins and badges, each one patiently waiting to be affixed to my suit when the time comes for me to don it.

I zip the case up and lock it. A few minutes of tracking down various knick-knacks like my toothbrush and antacid pills before putting them into the side pockets just about wraps up any packing I have to do.

Everything except my most prized possession, that is.

I go to my bedside drawer and open it, pulling out an unambiguous box from its depths. It looks like a hundred-and-fifty year old wooden box, due to the fact that it is.

Or, at least it is on the outside.

The inside, on the other hand, is a titanium-wrought alloy, capable of taking almost anything head-on except for a small warhead. I dig a tiny key out from underneath my mattress and open up the box, revealing an ancient long-barrel six-chamber magnum. It had been carried through our family for nearly seven generations and it, unlike me, didn’t look like it had aged a day. The gun came with commitments, after all; clean it every month, wax and buffer it every three, open it up every year and brush out every mote of dust and remove every sign of rust. You did all three of those if you took it out and if you travelled with it you sure as hell didn’t tuck it into your waistline. Then, if you ever shot it, you did all three twice over for every time that it sang its siren song. Above all of those though, there was one rule that, no matter what, you followed.

You never, ever shot first.

I take the magnum out and lovingly place it on the drawer before reaching into the box and removing the holster and six .44 calibre shells. I take the magnum again and release the chamber, causing it to fall to the side, and delicately place each shell into their respective hole. I snap it back together, give a quick spin and holster it before wrapping the belt around my waist. I hitch up my pants and make a few final adjustments to the belt’s tightness before grabbing the suitcase and heading downstairs, mentally compiling a checklist as I go.

Clothes? Check.

Suit? Check.

Toiletries and other materials? Check.

Family heirloom? I give a light pat to the bulge on my right side. Check.

AI?

“My apologies sir. I am five seconds behind the agreed upon meeting time.”

Check.

I reach the entryway and put on an old windbreaker, its surface worn and marred from years of hard use, and open the door, letting a slight chill seep into the house.

“Sir, aren’t you forgetting something?” Augs asks innocently.

“I don’t believe so…” comes my unsure answer.

“Well, I’m sure you’ll remember anything soon enough,” he replies haughtily.

I shrug my shoulders and take a step out onto the deck, my feet tingling slightly as they make contact with the cold, unyielding concrete steps.

Wait, my feet?

I look down and notice that I’m lacking socks and shoes, to which Augs remarks “Told you so.”

I roll my eyes and head back into the house, put on a pair of socks again, go back to the entryway, which had grown quite cold on account of me leaving the door open, and don a pair of boots. A quick cursory check reveals that I almost left my suitcase behind and, after grabbing it, head to my car. I open the trunk and, after ensuring that my combat boots are safely stowed away, give a primal grunt as I lift the suitcase into it. The door falls down, a faint click signalling that the latch is caught tight. I climb into the car, start the engine and leave my house to dwindle in the rear-view mirror.

I shortly exit the small suburban complex that I live in and join the main highway, the light traffic even in the morning “rush” making for an easy drive. Most people take the bus to a subway station these days due to the prohibitively high taxes on owning a personal vehicle. As always though, there are exceptions, like the few individuals who are rich and privileged, emergency response personnel or people like me who have a special government pass. Within a few minutes I’m navigating the concrete jungle of the downtown complex, glass and steel monoliths that stretch to pierce the heavens rising above me and, even further above them, a carapace-like dome that protects them from the ravages of an indignant Mother Earth’s wrath. Right now the outside world is fairly benign, or at least it is in relation to what it normally is, with several low-flying clouds whose dark mass promise cleansing rain and possibly purifying lightning. A few rays of sunlight peak through the curtain of condensation, a brief reminder of the way things use to be as the photons bounce off of the mirrored windows, reflecting, dispersing, illuminating and, all too soon, disappearing.

I hope that whatever’s so important that they’re flying me all the way to Sweden will let me see the life-giving star more often.

After half-an-hour of driving through the modern metropolis I break free from its claustrophobic confines, the gleaming iron-wrought towers and scum-filled back alleys becoming nothing more then a faintly-remembered memory. I slow down at the exit checkpoint where I flash my ID at a lone border guard. He snaps to attention and opens the gate without question and, after returning the salute and offering my thanks, leave the relative safety of the biodome.

Only empty swathes of pancake-flat plains and the asphalt road greet me out on the barren wasteland. Special strains of grass, bio-engineered to be immune to almost any disease and possessing roots that not only could re-grow the entire plant if cut but were capable of grounding the grass against up to a Class-8 tornado, were the only things that grew out here. They were invasive and weed-like, designed to quickly and efficiently remove the indigenous plant life so that their binding roots could hold the earth together in one piece; without the hardy grass the tornados and storms would literally tear the ground apart. No thought had gone into aesthetics or other uses; not even a cows four stomachs could digest it and each one was nigh-indistinguishable from the next, a simple muddy-brown-and-sage-green colouration making it look as if I was looking at a perfectly flat, if sickly, sea. They waved, shuddered and undulated in the moderate wind, making wave-esque patterns that were almost calming in their own unnatural way.

My car sped past them silently, its electric engine whisper-quiet. While electric cars still didn’t have the range of a pre-melt gas vehicle they could still go for quite a distance as long as they weren’t pushed too far past their specifications, accelerated in a single smooth motion and, as already mentioned, made no more noise then the tires kissing the road and the rush of displaced wind. Even if the mountain pass hadn’t been snowed in I would’ve taken the tunnel; weather was unpredictable down on the plains and downright chaotic up on the peaks, not to mention the fact that the electric engine wasn’t designed to be used on steep inclines.

It was a simple Japanese Toyota, five years old and the penultimate rendition of the Driviode line before a massive earthquake tore the country apart. They might have persevered even through the utter destruction that it had caused if the tsunami hadn’t hit immediately afterwards, a simple one-two punch and the world’s premier technology leader, in more ways then one, sunk beneath the waves. I’d taken good care of her, as I did with most of my personal objects, but also as a sort of post-humorous sign of respect to the once-great nation, and it certainly showed. The vanilla interior was spotless and devoid of stains or marks while the seats still, barring the impression of my back on the drivers side, looked like they had just left the factory, their cream upholstery unmarred by scratches or abrasions. In return she had diligently carried my weary ass all over the country with nary a peep or hint of discontent and I couldn’t help but feel a twang of anxiety at leaving her at the military complex while I travelled abroad without her. Still, she’d be in good hands and would be waiting patiently for my return, biding her time until I flicked her engine on.

She may have not been a gas guzzler, but I still liked to imagine her purring when she first started up.

A few drops of rain pattered down onto the windshield before being whisked away by the wind. The car was also quite aerodynamic and easily shed the stiff breeze that blew against it, a faint trail of displaced water sliding around the invisible barrier of air. Still, I turned the wipers onto their intermediate setting to brush off any stray droplets. The road was arrow-straight and devoid of any other vehicles, as was to be expected, and if it hadn’t been for the rain I would’ve pushed the car a little harder. As it was I was travelling at a decent click of 110 Km/hr. I smiled at the metric numbers, still not believing that it had taken the government so long to switch over to the infinitely easier multiples-of-ten system. Then I frown as I think about how it was another thing the industry had delayed until it was far too late to solve the problem…

“You’re getting philosophical again sir. Would you like me to take over? We both know how… erratic your driving gets when you ponder about such things,” Augs states. I’m inclined to agree with him on both counts and surrender control of the car to the slave circuit before resuming my navel gazing. When you’re as old and well-travelled as I am you tend to look back on the world, but much to my dismay nobody had ever issued me a pair of rose-tinted reading glasses. I had seen the best and worst of humanity in my years as a serving man for the army. I’d watched heroes who braved the fires of war to save their comrades, men who had stood their ground against the inexorable march of the enemy, teens who had cradled their guns and prayed to the god they had never had a reason to call upon before, cowards who had abandoned both duty and country as they ran away, and the monsters who had killed each of the indiscriminately.

And then there were the ones like me, the ones who ordered them to kill or be killed as they clashed with their foe, the ones who crushed any thoughts of desertion from their minds with the threat of firing squad, the ones who gave them a gun so that they would have something to believe in, the ones who told them to hold the lines against impossible odds, the ones who chose the most photogenic to become that week’s heroes. I dedicated my life to serving my country, and to do it I made those under my command give up theirs with the hope that they would make the enemy do the same.

After all, the point of war wasn’t to die for your country, but rather to make them die for theirs.

And yet I ask myself, was it really all worth it? The government said we were going in to free a downtrodden populace, and the industry came out with a couple million barrels of oil. No one ever talked about how a new regime had been placed that was more open to Western trade. The government told us to provide supplies for disaster victims, and the industry proudly declared how they were donating relief funds and materials. Nobody remembered how they stayed in the country after the disaster was averted and clear-cut the rainforest with the materials they had brought in, the aid money somehow finding its way into the hands of rich land owners. The government commanded that the armed forces put its best efforts to cleaning up an oil spill, and the industry was more then happy to help fix their minor blunder. People just stopped caring after the fourth incident.

Indeed, wherever we went, industry was sure to follow, like Mary’s unwanted black sheep. Those of us who knew better though realized we weren’t leading them, they were pushing us. Lobbyists, grants, promises and backroom deals, those were what got the politicians their campaign money, their support from the working populace, their votes. And when one of them wanted to change things, to give the reins back to the people, they were quickly squashed. Slander in the newspaper, frivolous lawsuits, seeds of paranoia planted among the populace, these were the favoured tools of the pin-striped suits.

I knew because I had been on the receiving end once. They didn’t take kindly to somebody cutting the bottom line out from out from underneath them, as I had found out when I tried to hand control of the oil fields of Saudi Arabia back to the indigenous population. Nor did they care for well-meaning companies that tried to infringe on the power market by building solar or wind farms. Every idea that removed the middleman was crushed and tossed aside.

The push for electric car development nearly put President Fritz out of office. There was no money to be made with electric cars; no moving gears or whirring gaskets to replace when they got worn out, no oil changes and no transmission to repair. My Toyota had never visited the shop and the only time it got off of its wheels was when I changed the tires. Every official test showed that a tiered transport system of long-distance bullet trains and short-range personal vehicles was not only cheaper and more viable to the average consumer but also increased efficiency and greatly reduced travel times. But the official tests were neutered, cut and pasted back together with a tweak here and an omission there. In the end they boiled a complex and deep-seated sociological problem into a simple statement; sure, there might be a few benefits to that, but in the end, it’s what the consumer wants, right?

And nobody knew the consumer base better then they did. People didn’t want to have a shorter travel time; they wanted to be on the move. Who cared if the trip took twice as long if you had to wait in a terminal for half an hour? Who wanted to drive a vehicle that was free to any user if they could drive the one they had paid their hard-earned cash for? Who wanted a car that barely crept past 120Km/hr, even though there weren’t any roads with a higher speed limit?

Nobody, that’s who.

At least, according to the industry. They said that the buyer wanted to drive now, that the consumer wanted to have that pink slip in their hand that said “This car is yours”, that the purchaser wanted to set their own limits.

Both sides of the debate were impassioned and full of their own reasoning’s and counter-reasoning’s, but in the end the incumbent President was riding the coat tails of a successful war, a revitalization of the economy and a landslide victory over the previous Republican President who had been trying to re-secure the Oval Office. He took his momentum and steamrolled the bill through the senate and within the year one of the largest manufacturing shifts in modern history took place, because what America does the rest of the world is sure to follow. The idealists and forward-thinkers called it the beginning of a new era, an age where you could order a bagel in San Francisco, ride the train from Seattle and arrive in time for it to have cooled off enough to eat. Going to visit your family in Canada from Florida would be but pennies on the dime in relation to gas or airfare. Everything seemed to be going great. All of the major cities had been interconnected in a country-wide web of vacuum-sealed plasteel tubing that travelled across the ground where it could and burrowed its way through mountains where it couldn’t, millions of publicly-available electric cars were produced and shipped and it seemed as if the civilian population was warming up to the idea.

Perhaps they warmed up a little too much, because that was when the melt happened.

Everything was thrown into chaos. Japan, the main manufacturer and leader on the production methods of electric cars, collapsed and oil to fuel the existing automobile population became too dangerous to ship across open water. Contact was lost with almost all small island nations and Hawaii practically became a ghost island after everyone was evacuated from it with Britain soon to follow in its footsteps. France, Spain and the other coastal European countries were beleaguered by near-constant hurricanes that made escape impossible. China devolved into anarchy that destroyed the country while North Korea’s population disappeared into their cave systems, never to be seen again. African countries succumbed to simultaneous droughts and flooding that soon led to almost the entire population starving to death while the Middle East was torn asunder by massive sand storms. Russia sent refugees on whatever derelict vessels they could scrounge up to escape to Alaska while shoring up their defences as they tried to deactivate their nuclear arsenal; no one knew how well the finicky and typically poorly-built weapons would react to the sudden geological shift and, more importantly, to keep unscrupulous raiders from looting the doomsday bombs. South America quickly stepped up their typical civil war routine; not even what some were calling Armageddon could deter the drug gangs and black market cartels.

Apparently Australia was doing fairly well, but when you live in a country where practically every second animal can kill you tend to be better at survival.

Production shifted yet again, this time to making giant plasteel domes over population centres. The decision to seal the train with the plasteel turned out to be a gift from whatever god or gods that were trying to destroy us. Massive stores that had been saved for expanding the tunnel network were repurposed to create a honeycomb-like shield against the storms and every city tried to get their own share. Debates raged and, in a rare turn of events, some of the major decisions were hammered out quite quickly, or at least for the political world they were. Costal cities were to be abandoned and their surviving populations lodged inland at prefab camps. Any man or woman who was in condition to help and had the knowledge to do so was given priority. Towns were reduced to the dozen or so stalwarts who insisted on staying despite the risks and any population centres that were located in deserts, badlands or other inhospitable environments were cleared out.

Some say that Las Vegas still lights up the night sky and the ring of one-armed bandits can be heard over the howl of the desert.

Next up were which cities would be the most viable to protect, for even with the stockpiles there was only enough to cover several major metropolis’. The debates ended pretty quickly when Betty rolled into town though. She started up as a Category 8 hurricane at the Eastern seaboard, originating around Mexico and moved North from there. She wouldn’t be so special now but at the time she was the first of her kind. By the time she reached Texas she had shed her moisture and was putting her new diet plan’s benefits into action as a Category 10 tornado. Any city that she crossed was utterly laid waste to and whenever she came upon a large enough body of water she’d briefly become a meandering hurricane again. The scientists called her a perpetual motion storm, the effects of her air pressure practically creating the perfect conditions for her to be entirely self-sufficient. It wasn’t until she had annihilated a full quarter of the potential refugee cities that she passed into the cold northern regions of Canada and finally dissipated.

If one good thing came from the horror that she visited on North America, it was that the options for which cities to reinforce became far easier to pick from. Anything within a few thousand kilometres of her warpath were stricken from the record in case any more like her came through, and more certainly did; several times the plans were redrawn as more came up to lay waste to the countryside. In the end it was decided that there would be a total of ten cities that would be sheltered, each housing up to ten million occupants, not that any of them reached those numbers.

It was probably the most hotly debated topic for the survival of the human race on the Western hemisphere; who would be saved? Massive crackdowns were launched. Violent offenders were ‘released’ into the savage wilds, along with the homeless, immigrants and uneducated. There would be no room for dead weight in this broken world. Graduates of advanced post-secondary schooling and talented blue-collar workers were given high preference while those that made up the white-collar and non-essential workforce were slowly drained. Any riots were quickly put down with lethal force, any protests broken up by tear gas and nightsticks, any disapproving individuals added to the long lines that filed out of the domes confines.

I always hated the close-minded individuals that called it the end of America in hushed whispers. It was the end of the world, and all they cared about was owning their own car.

“What is the point of surviving if you are not yourself anymore?”

Sarve Poleit

From his personal memoirs, President of Nothing

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USER Harth, Wesk logged on

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Shortcut command line accepted. Loading AI Recordings

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WARNING. Internal calendar has failed due to extended power loss. Results will not display in chronological order. Select which AI Recording to examine. [1/2/3/4/5]

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Retrieving

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Retrieval successful. View AI Recording?

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AI Recording initialized

AI recording, entry #960

Entry added by ADMINISTRATOR Harth, Xco

Date: October 13th, 2065

Time: 12:05, -03:00 GMT

Recording: Personal thoughts

The wind was certainly something else. It whipped and winded its way through the parade grounds and I couldn’t help but think about how my son would have deemed it to be a particularly blustery one, as his favourite book would have put it. It brought a sharp chill that wormed its way into my bones, easily penetrating the ceremonial suit that I wore, as well as offering an ill omen to another dark winter. Fortunately, the storm front that the wind rode from was still several hours away, at least according to the Wi-Net, and so we would hopefully have the process wrapped up before the rain arrived.

Before me was an assembly of what were now the world’s best soldiers, probably numbering into the high hundreds. Male or female, old and young, spies, assassins, tacticians or just plain army grunts; it didn’t matter what they had been before, all that mattered was that they could prove that they could hold onto what made them men or women, what made them human.

As cynical as it may sound, I knew that there probably wasn’t that many of them.

“Men and women of the world, welcome to your graduation ceremony!” I announce into the microphone that was planted on the podium in front of me, the audience answering in kind with a raucous cheer and enthusiastic fist pumping. For a few seconds these soldiers, who had been ground into automaton-like war machines, were allowed one last moment of individuality and just simply enjoy being a human. Had the wind not been so strong they would have probably thrown their berets into the air as well. I wait a few more seconds for the cheering to die down before I continue with “Today marks the end of an era and the start of a new beginning, one which you shall be the forerunners of. You have trained your minds and bodies to peak performance and your dedication has shown that we, as humans, are still capable of achieving greatness! As you step through the portal to the new world remember that no matter what you are on the outside you will still be yourselves on the inside; a testament to humanity till the end!”

I’m over the hump now. I’ve just lied to almost a thousand men and women that have sweated tears and cried blood for their country, their world, and chances are less then half of them will even remember where they were born by dawn.

“Do not let the words of the weak dissuade you from your chosen path, for what they do not understand frightens them. You shall walk where those who believe in angels fear to tread and, at the end, you shall stand, a beacon, beckoning to those who follow in your wake!” More cheering.

Do they not know that they give their applause to their reaper?

“I will not keep you from your future much longer, for as an old dog of the military I myself know that actions speak louder then words. But, before I release you, I offer these nuggets of wisdom,” I announce as my voice drops a couple of octaves, a simple adjustment that nevertheless adds the weight of the world to my words. “First, always be alert; things are not always what they seem to be. Second, remember that you are but a rock in life’s river; you cannot fight it, but neither should you let it sweep you away. Let it flow around you, let it smooth your rough edges and etch its lessons on your core. Finally, and I have said this already but it bears repeating, do not forget what made you human and keeps you human, no matter how life changes around you,” I conclude, my piece spoken, although I don’t feel as if I’ve spoken my peace. I give them an obligatory salute. The thunder of pounding feet reverberates throughout the grounds as those gathered stomp their feet and return the salute in perfect synchrocity.

As I walk off of the wooden stage I hear the beginnings of the assembly instructions. I listen in, although I already know them off by heart; five gates, each to support no more then two-hundred people, and each to be manned by one MP at the entrance. On the other side there was to be one human interviewer, one human representative and two Equestrian representatives; one of whom was a native and the other a turned human.

I’m standing in for the interviewer at gate 4.

It had been difficult for me to get a position as one; the politicians had told me I was too busy to bother playing greeter for a bunch of jarheads, I’d told them to stuff it, although I had been less polite in my wording. They stepped down pretty quickly, the spineless cowards.

Besides, I owed an old friend a favour.

I walked past the MP guarding the gate, a sharp young man by the name of Ron, and gave him a nod as I walked by. I didn’t see as much as I heard his hand coming up to meet his helmet as he saluted. Normally I would have told him to be at ease, but right now I had too much on my mind; I barely even noticed the transition from Earth to whatever the Equestrians called their planet as I stepped through the portal. My memory told me that I would have seen a bright white flash followed by a faint buzzing noise.

It also told me that I probably hadn’t missed out on much by not paying attention.

I stepped out of the portal, my eyes momentarily squinting as they adjusted from the overcast day to the bright lights of the “greeting” room. It was coloured a clean and sterile white with nothing but a few stools to accentuate the spartan surroundings. It was probably the only place in all of Equestria that shared a likeness to a human building; unlike the plane that Earth existed on, in which muted and subdued colours were the order of the day in construction, Equestrian buildings were almost always a bright and vibrant shade, usually heavily borrowing from the warm colour spectrum. In fact, even the plain white of the room still looked a little off, and the well-initiated or exceptionally observant could see that the surrounding world almost seemed as if it had been drawn with pastels.

I take a cursory look at those in wait with me; to my right stood the native Equestrian, a garishly coloured green-and-yellow pegasus mare, who seemed a little out of sorts in the unfamiliar room. Directly in front of me was the human representative, who I exchanged a knowing glance with. The human-turned-Equestrian was sitting on his haunches to my left, his coat a bland and unusually-normal shade of brown, the only distinguishing feature on it being what could have passed as an old sheriff’s star that marked his flanks.

No words are spoken between us, and if there were, what would we talk about? The economy? Earth is crumbling around us while Equestria is about to go into a massive boom. The weather? It would just be depressing to compare our regular super-cell storms and smog-filled skies to the heavily regulated Equestria horizon. Our respective populations? That’s what all those soldiers outside are for; so that there won’t be a human race to talk about.

Or at least, that’s what will come to pass if everything goes according to plan.

Really, all there is to do is try to get comfortable, a feat that is amazingly hard in my itchy uniform, and wait. I fail spectacularly on the first count and the second one, thankfully, is short lived.

The portal itself is relatively ubiquitous. The gate almost completely blends into the white-washed wall, the only mark of its existence being a ripple that flows from the center as if someone was dropping rocks into a sideways pond. Contrary to popular science fiction there are no bright heavenly lights blossoming from it, no elaborate machinery sustaining it, and, much to the disappointment of Lovecraftians, no ominous chanting emanating from it. Now, when someone steps through it…

A bright light appears and a dusty red earth pony appears.

…Well, the truth of the matter is that isn’t very interesting either, barring the… colourful results that the majority of humans elicit. Human walks in, and ninety-nine-point-eight percent of the time a pony walks out.

Simple, effective, the two holy grails of modern technology that, ironically enough, had very little to do with the magically-made hole that has ripped a tear into the very fabric of space and time a few feet behind me. According to the techies an exceptionally talented magic user can open one of these holes and have it stable enough for beings to cross through mostly unscathed, the exception, as previously stated, being the majority of humans. In fact, the only problem to bridging into any number of alternate realities is the sheer astronomical amount of luck required to not only bridge into a reality that doesn’t immediately destroy matter but also land on habitable planet, a chance so small that they had a ten to the power of a negative number so large that it went across three pages

It’s probably worth mentioning that number was based off of only one positive result and chances were it was a fluke, not the law of averages evening out.

Fortunately for the Equestrians their magic is capable of extending past the portal and, more importantly, doesn’t implode, spontaneously combust or otherwise produce amazingly lethal results when it encounters non-existence. According to my original briefing they just happened to find us one day, copied down the components and variants of the spell, and walked in on the Large Hadron Collider crew to introduce themselves the following morning.

Personally, I like to think that they had just finished the morning newspaper and a stale bagel before, of course, thoroughly brushing their teeth, just in case we looked in their mouths.

I stand at attention and, mustering all of my authority, bark “Earth pony! What is your name, country of birth and the name of your leader?” I stare down at the thing, its three-foot frame barely rising up to my waistline, although if you count the height of its sunset-orange mane it might reach the top of my gut.

He looks around for a few moments, seemingly in a daze, until his eyes rest on the letter-like tattoo that’s plastered on his rear. “My name is Dawn Runner and I was… er…” More hesitation, this time as his brain fills the sudden gap in his history with new memories brought from some unknown source, although I would bet good money on it being magic. “I’m from… Coltsdale! Yeah. And I serve Celestia, the bringer of the Sun and Luna, the bearer of the Moon.”

I give a non-committal grunt, flex my head towards the Equestrian representative, and blandly reply with “Well, get a move on.” He looks over to where I motioned and, noticing the Pegasus beckoning him, clops over happily. She pushes the handless door open with her muzzle before stepping out of the way to let him through. He flashes her a big toothy grin and waltzes on through, my last sight of him composed of his ass swinging in synch with something that most likely had no tune.

I look down at the clipboard that had been lying discreetly on my stool, a plain black pen thoughtfully shoved in between the pages so it wouldn’t fall out. I pick it up and, with a disenchanted sigh, mark an X beside Donovan Reat’s name while the others in the room follow suit, with exception going to the pegasus who was happily putting a checkmark on his face. I couldn’t help but notice the human-turned-stallion was having a difficult time keeping the pen steady in his teeth as he made his mark; I don’t know how anyone or anything could ever get used to not having opposable thumbs after living with them for their entire life.

Oh well. He’s going to have plenty of time to practice making X’s before we’re through.

First one was a washout and I mentally add that fact to my list of bad omens; it’s gotten pretty long as of late. According to the short dossier beside his name he was born in Oklahoma in 2025, enlisted in the army to fund his college, decided he liked it and eventually joined the SEALS. He survived several covert operations and had a near perfect mission success ratio. Ten years he had been the best of the best before he had been asked to join the Equestrian Reserve Initiative and, most likely sensing a chance to secure an early semi-retirement as a member of their royal guard, signed up. He had almost certainly been educated in several advanced fields as well as received extensive training against various methods of both psychological and physical torture. He had completed the training to become an Equestrian soldier with flying colours and would have most likely been on the fast track to becoming an officer.

Now all of that counted for jack shit.

A brain with an IQ of a genius and the ability to resist unimaginable cruelty hadn’t saved him from “Joining the herd”, as it were. When a human walks through the portal their body is assaulted with the magic that inhabits Equestria. Except in a few rare cases like mine it results in the permanent transformation from human to pony. The other part of the transformation is, to a degree, less random.

Any human who crosses the threshold is bombarded with the underlying magic, a magic so powerful that not only does it change the physical, but also the mental. A human can hold onto their original memories and personality, given enough strength of character; however, and I can speak from personal experience, the desire to give in is overwhelming. Submit, the magic says, give in and you shall be granted eternal happiness in a veritable paradise, although it should be mentioned that just about anything in comparison to Earth now looks like paradise. It doesn’t just speak to you, it sings, it weaves a tapestry so beautiful it makes you cry, it tells tall tales that make you laugh, its siren song so effluent that you want to sing in a duet with it forever.

And to hold onto yourself you have to tear it all down.

You shut your ears, you rip apart the art and set it aflame, it screams in pain as you assert yourself over it and the entire time your doing the deed it asks” Why? WHY? We only want to love you, to share our bounty with you so that you may too know our peace! Why? WHY?”

That, though, is the root of the problem. It is akin to a honeydew plant, sweet to smell yet when the fly is caught in its sticky grasp there is no escape, no quarter, until it has sucked every last bit of life from it. It offers you its gifts and all you have to do is become its slave. You must subscribe to *its* peace.

I don’t know why he gave in, and I’ll never know. Perhaps its offer was simply so extravagant he couldn’t refuse, or, conversely, it promised a basic life, carefree and idyllic. After all, spending half of your waking life being trained to assassinate, sabotage, and squeeze information from other human beings takes a toll on even the most hardened killer. The promise of a clean slate, of a mind unfettered with the worries of the world, is a very tempting offer.

Perhaps using soldiers wasn’t the best of ideas. Everything is 20/20 in hindsight, as the saying goes.

The portal reacts again, this time a cobalt unicorn with a magenta tail and mane appearing. Same routine as before; name, place of birth, leader.

“I was born in Hoofington by the name of Night Write, sir. My allegiance belongs to the night’s mistress, Luna.” His voice is formal, his posture erect and his eyes, for one who has lost himself, unusually bright. Judging from his mannerisms and his name I gauge him to be a scholar, a theory that is supported by the pen on his flank. I flick my head toward the pegasus and, after giving me a quick bow, moves to the now-open door. He gives the mare a curt nod of thanks for holding the door open for him, which she returns with a flutter of her eyes.

That’s zero-to-two for the visiting team now.

They know what they’re getting into of course; we’re not so callous as to not let them know what it is that they were going up against, although we may have downplayed the inherent risks in our seminars. Still, these were trained professionals; we thought they wouldn’t have a problem with the change from the practicum to the practical. Early estimates had put the success rate at ninety percent and even after more was discovered about the portal’s effects there was still an estimated eighty-five percent chance of retention of mental facilities.

I’d told them that we should have done a small test group first, that we had no large-group statistics to compare or contrast. ‘No, it’ll be fine’ they’d answered, and now here we were, far too along to stop the process without causing mass speculation and paranoia into just how pervasive the magic was to humans.

Still, we’re only two out of two-hundred into the deal, a mere one percent, and I find myself hoping that my early fears are groundless.

Then, as if fate itself is laughing in my face, the third subject, another earth pony who’s painted a pristine white, complete with an emblem of a pair of scissors on the usual location, steps through and whinnies loudly. I ask the questions and I get the answers that I would have preferred not hearing. The score now stands at three-oh.

Sometimes, I hate it when I’m right.

I snap out of my reverie when the gate fluctuates again, a black pegasus appearing from its depths. It wobbles around unsteadily for a few seconds, although that’s usually a good sign. The fact that it’s lacking the marking on its flank is an even better one. “Pegasus pony! What is your name, country of birth and the name of your leader?” I intone.

It clumsily raises a hoof up to its head, although it quickly goes back down when it almost falls over onto its side. “Sir! My designation is Petty Officer Grade Two, codename ‘Dark Days’ and my birth name is Daniel Telth. I was born in the Northwest Territories in Canada and I serve under Prime Minister Jeanne.” I snatch a quick look at his dossier; everything checks out. Found a love for flying when his father took him out ice fishing, joined the Canadian Air Force at age twenty-five, proved his mettle in several aerial engagements and bombing runs. Figures he’d become a pegasus. Even his codename already fit the noun-adjective format that the Equestrians seemed to love so much, although he would probably have to change it to something less inflammatory.

I let a thin smile crease my weathered face.

“Welcome to Equestria soldier, and congratulations on your successful passage through the gate. If you follow this stallion here…” I gesture towards the brown colt, “…you will be shown to your quarters where the second phase of your instruction will begin.” He rolls his eyes at the mention of more training but still looks more or less pleased with himself for his success.

He begins walking over to the door before he stops and, with what was most likely a great amount of difficulty, cranes his neck to look at me and asks “Are the others that were before me in there?”

Damnit, he just had to go and ruin the mood, didn’t he?

“I’m afraid not,” I answer truthfully. His gaze continues to bore into my head, his face telling me that he knew there was more to it then that. I break eye contact before I continue with “I’m sure it was just a rocky start. You will have plenty of others joining you in there soon enough.” He blinks a few times, trying to discern the truth from my statuesque expression, before giving up and wordlessly moving through the door. As the closes the door behind the pegasus I give another salute, the only answer to it being a sad look from the brown colt.

At least I get to put a checkmark beside a face now. I only wish I could do it with as much gumption as the pegasus.

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ADMINISTRATOR Harth, Xco, has set bookmarks into the recording. Would you like to utilize these? [Y/N]

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Bookmarks activated. Resuming AI Recording

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And so it went. We made it through the first fifty with little in the way of distractions. A violet unicorn with a flashy gold mane brought out some water, which I greedily quaffed in the hopes that it would stave off the encroaching heat; my suit was beginning to plaster to my skin from all of the sweat. On the bright side, the human-pony intellect ratio increased to about one-and-a-half ponies to every human in the guise of a horse. Turned out the beginning really was just a stroke of bad luck, although the success percentage was still far below the original projections.

It was number sixty-eight that posed a problem, which is to say that he didn’t cause the problem but was the center of it when sixty-nine came through. It began benignly enough, I asked the rote questions and we had another bonafied human-pony in our midst. No, the problem arose when he asked whether his brother, the one before him, was waiting for him in Brown’s room. A sense of despair and regret hung in the room for a few tense moments before Brown shook his head and pointed towards the Pegasus's door. He muttered something that passed for thanks before he went past the petrified Pegasus and disappeared behind the closing door. She had been chipper for the entire time up until this point, and now it was as if someone had reached into her chest and ripped out her heart. She pushed open the door too and disappeared into the hallway beyond. A few seconds passed before a gruff looking unicorn took her place.

I inwardly swore. I screamed and frothed at the mouth in my minds eye at the unfairness of it all. This was why such a heavy preference had been given to single men and women who had little to no family left. If he was lucky his brother would at least remember him, although it would be an entirely different set of memories and experiences. If he didn’t then all he would get would be a blank stare as thirty years of sibling rivalry and brotherly bonding was for naught. There was still a way for him to re-enter his brother’s life, although it would involve him sacrificing himself as well to the magic. The magic filled any holes in a turned one’s memory and, if his brother also joined the stream, it would bring them together once again.

Live in regret, or die and be reborn, never to know what lengths you were willing to go to in order to save the ones you love.

The portal only changes a person once and, if you deny its temptations, it leaves you alone forevermore; to truly join the magic after that you have to be exposed to its pure essence. However, this is easy to do since every time a person walks through a portal for the first time a massive amount of waste magic is given off. For the most part this semi-fuel is reserved for casting the most powerful of magic but, when a human or human-turned-pony is exposed to it, it immediately brings them into the stream. Not even I or the other humans who have managed to keep their shape when crossing the portal can fight its power and, when exposed to enough at once, it can outright kill a man before absorbing them completely into the stream.

I’ve seen it happen once, about a year ago, if memory serves. A man who still heard the clarion call of the magic beckoning him finally snapped. No one had been able to stop him before he reached into one of the vats that held the essence and suddenly evaporated, his entire being drawn into the magic. I asked one of the unicorns about what it was supposed to be like in the stream the following morning and, after she pressed me on why I would want to know, told me that some of the most accomplished magicians had gone into the stream and returned. According to them it was a place of pure bliss, where you just simply existed until you were reincarnated from the stream as a pony to begin life anew.

I found the whole reincarnation theory to be a bit far fetched myself but, then again, three-foot-high talking ponies.

The next several dozen passed with no incidents, although the tone in the room was decidedly more sombre after the two brothers had passed through. Number one-hundred thirty-seven changed that. He walked out of the portal, perhaps a little hairier then normal, but was nevertheless a real flesh-and-blood human. The human representative positively glowed at this revelation; he had been quite lonely for the last two hours. I walked up and shook the hand of a very confused man who had most likely been assuming he was going to come out a quadruped. “You are a very lucky man, Corporal Jensin,” I explain as he tries to grasp the situation. “Over there you’ll find a Mr… hmm, what was your name again?” I ask the other human.

“Luceyenkov,” he answers, his voice tinged by a slight Russian accent. “Come here Corporal, we have much to discuss,” he commands as he opens the door behind him, the only one in the room that was complete with a regular handle. The man named Jensin obliges and soon the two have disappeared behind the shutting door. I marvelled at just how surprised he had been; he hadn’t said a single word while he had been in the room.

I can appreciate a strong silent type.

The white hospital-style room had been chosen for two reasons; the calming effect it had on those who entered it, and the ease of seeing where blood landed.

Seeing another human briefly buoys my spirits, although they quickly fall when number one-hundred sixty-three comes through kicking and screaming, his body flailing, his eyes wild and his mouth frothing. There’s no mistaking the symptoms; I start to reach for my tranquilizer before a loud crack echoes through the room. I look over to where it originated from and see a man dressed in black swat gear, a smoking pistol aimed at the head of the dead pegasus. He puts another hole into it for good measure before disappearing into the recessed door that had been secreted in the corner. A unicorn that looks like its seen things that even grown men would balk at appears and efficiently cleans up the mess; crimson blood is wiped away with a cloth, the body levitated and taken away by another unicorn while the first one covers up the smell of copper and gunpowder with a quick spell. Then, as suddenly as they had appeared, they vanish, their work done. I notice that the low calibre bullets hadn’t even made it out the other side of the pegasus’ skull to mar the pristine tile.

Poor bastard had split. A roughly one-in-a-million chance had killed him long before the bullet found his brain. A split occurred when a persons mind rejected the stream, like a sort of mental allergic reaction, and then tried to take on parts of both. Technically, he was still alive when he was shot but there was nothing in his head that resembled cohesive thought. At first they had tried to bring splits back but that had quickly been abandoned when a lobotomy revealed that their brain had, quite literally, fried. After that standard procedure was to terminate the afflicted. Officially it was called a mercy killing, but those in the know simply said “They put it down” or “They put it to sleep”. When I had asked one of them why they used euphemisms from a vet’s they he blithely replied with “’Cause they’re not human anymore.”

I nearly got suspended from the program when I broke his arm in a full-nelson.

I was a little shaken but, having seen it happen before I quickly regained my composure. The unicorn looked a fair bit more shocked but he forced himself back together while brown stood impassively, his sheriff star mark hinting that he had probably seen executions before. At least my fellow human had been spared the spectacle since he was still in the back talking to Jensin; chances were he wasn’t going to be needed back anyways.

Then the next inductee walked through the gate and we carried on as if nothing had ever happened.

The last part went by in a blur for me; greet, question, send them on their way. I just couldn’t bring myself to care anymore and at this point I just wanted to reach two-hundred and finish the day off with a tall glass of what passed for alcohol in Equestria. At least it came by quickly.

A cobalt unicorn with a shield as his mark appears. Last one just had to be one of them, didn’t it? “Pegasus pony! What is your name, country of birth and the name of your leader?”

“My name is Stormfront, ambassador! I hail from Stalliongrad and my life belongs to the eternal sun goddess Celestia!” and then, as if to punctuate this point, he stuck a pose that, while probably impressive for a pony, looked a little ridiculous from my perspective.

The unicorn was about to call out to him before I held up a hand and demanded “Leave us be. I’ll send him to you shortly.” The unicorn looked uncertain for a moment before shrugging its shoulders and exiting the room. The human greeter still hadn’t returned and brown had left shortly after when Stormfront had begun his spiel. The room was empty save for me and the freshly-minted pegasus. I check the hidden doors to make sure no one is hiding behind them and then put down a silencer, a simple device that creates a cone where sound couldn’t escape from, and move forward.

And embrace the pegasus around its neck.

“God damnit Zack. I was supposed to greet you, to welcome you here. I lied to hundreds of people, I even watched one of them die, in the last three hours and now you’ve gone and buggered it all up your stupid git,” I bemoan softly. The pegasus just stands there, unmoving. “You and me, we were going to tour this place together. We were going to hit up every single god damn bar and see just how many new and exciting ways we could get piss drunk, and right at the end you give up on it all…” I finish my tirade. I have more to say but I’m afraid if I keep going I’ll break do…

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, just skip to the part where you kiss me and bring me back to my senses or whatever contrived bullshit they entertain here.” I pull back in surprise and shock to see a pair of bright and intelligent eyes above a stupid smirk of satisfaction.

“Zack? Zack!” I move in to give him an earnest hug. “You son-of-a-bitch, you actually had me going there for a moment!” I retreat again as I give him a half-hearted throttling.

He breaks away easily and laughs. “Ha! And there I was thinking you were supposed to be the stone-cold one.”

“Humph, I would have figured it out anyways. And besides, there’s a difference between showing your emotions and feeling them.” I stand back up as I feel a bit of my old life flowing from him and coming to me, the life of being two friends who had grown up beside each other, had a double marriage with our respective wife’s, and the inevitable drifting apart as our children and jobs had taken us our separate ways.

“So, how are you, old codger?” asked the fifty-eight year old, although he looked a gooddegree younger after his transformation; from what I’d heard ponies could apparently live up to a be more then a hundred-fifty years old.

“Better then you, young grasshopper,” I answer as I think about my golden-years age of fifty-nine. Despite our mere one-year age difference we still joked about it, and he never let me forget the fact that I was statistically more likely to die first either.

“You know, now that I have an unnaturally long lifespan I’m far more likely to outlive you now,” He boasted.

Yep, definitely Zack.

“Anyways, what was with the whole strike-a-pose thing?” I inquire.

“Oh, you mean… this?” he answers as he does it again.

I laugh and rub my eyebrow in exasperation. “I swear, you think rainbows sprout from your ass.”

“And now that I’m a pegasus I can probably do that too,” he answers chidingly. I roll my eyes as he begins to whip his tail around in figure eights. “Hey, I think I’m getting the hang of th…” his bragging is interrupted by his tail coming up to whip him in the eye. At his point I’m laughing so hard I have to hold onto the near stool to keep my balance as he furiously blinks to get the fibres out of his eye.

“So, how’d you do it?” I ask after I’ve wiped the tears from my eyes.

“Do what?”

“Well, you walked in here like you’d had four legs your entire life, spouted the Celestia nonsense, and even managed to have the tattoo on your ass.”

“Well, the walking part was easy; I just imagined I was crawling. I was worried you guys might have noticed how stiff my legs were but I guess I managed to pass that off as lock-step. As for the whole I-swear-allegiance-to-the-sun thing, I watched a couple of videos of other Equestrian soldiers doing the same thing and just went from there.”

“And the mark?”

“That just happened. You know how they’re supposed to reflect your talent or whatever, right?” I give an affirmative nod before he continues, “Well, after I left the army I got a job as a security officer for a big tech firm, as you know. Pretty boring stuff but hey, bills to pay and kids to send through college. Then you told me that the head honcho here was looking for a private entourage of fresh blood and I guess the powers that be decided that the mark on my ass meant I should watch out for hers.”

“Okay then, but what about the wife and the kids? I hope you got their approval before you came here.”

“We’ve seen the adverts and, after we all talked about it, we decided as a family that we’d go through the process. They’re going to wait for that breakthrough that you told us about though, you know, the one where they won’t have to worry about that ‘stream’ thing or whatever stealing their souls. Oh and on that topic, that was pretty intense. I’m glad you were waiting for me,” he says as he shuffles his hooves absentmindedly.

“What’re you talking about? I mean, sure, the numbers weren’t that great but I knew you at least had it in you.”

“Really? Then what was with the whole confessional thing?” I open my mouth to reply before he interrupts me with “Don’t answer that, let’s just say it was a rhetorical question. I really mean it though, I’m glad you were on the other side waiting for me, that thought gave me something to hold onto.” He flashes another smirk at me.

I wonder… I wonder if the brother who had gone first would have made it through if he had been the second instead, if he could have known his sibling was waiting for him on the other side.

Zack notices my unease and, as only close friends can do, made it worse. “Oh, are you thinking about the guy who died?’

I give a defeated sigh as the day’s trials catch up to me again. “No, he split. The guard had to do a mercy kill, but at least he didn’t have to live with his pain for very long. The thing that really got to me was… well, there were two brothers…” I explained the circumstances of the situation to him as he listened with an uncharacteristic amount of reverence.

After I’d finished we stood there for a few moments in a sort of prayer before he broke the silence with “Damn. I didn’t know or else I wouldn’t have…”

“It’s fine, just forget it, there’s nothing we can do,” I cut in before I bring up my AI’s clock. “Jesus, we’ve been here talking for the last fifteen minute and they’re probably waiting for you right now. You should get going before they get suspicious,” I explain to him hastily.

“Crap! I almost forgot about that. Time to pony up I guess,” he tries to joke as he gives a false smile for my benefit. “Where can I meet you?”

“Catch me in the mess hall at seven. There are directions to it in just about every hallway,” I elaborate as I shut down my silencer and pick up my coat and clipboard. He gives me a wink before pushing his way through the door that the unicorn left out of while I head off to my room to freshen up.

There’ll be plenty of time later tooooo catch up on the pass and dwown the preseenennt with a safdaxcsdfabrandyawofchsssssssssssss……………

Attempting to retrieve AI Recording files

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WARNING. Remaining portion of file is corrupted. Please initiate a memory recover t[END]

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Process terminating

“The “Purists” called them monsters.

That’s wrong; they are mere animals.

I am the monster.”

General Harth

From his “suicide” note

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Initializing

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WARNING. GUI system bootstrap process corrupted. Switching to backup command line bootstrap.

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Initialization successful

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Examining battery status

WARNING. Battery at 3% charge. Recommend immediate charging

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Solar charge sequence activated

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WARNING. Possible malfunctions detected. Perform diagnostics scan? [Y/N]

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Performing diagnostics scan

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WARNING. Memory core has been damaged/formatted. Data loss at 97%. Attempt recovery? [Y/N]

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WARNING. This system is for use by ADMINISTRATOR Harth, Xco or members of direct bloodline only, as specified by ADMINISTRATOR Harth, Xco. Submit to ocular scan and/or DNA testing or system shutdown will occur.

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System shutdown in 30 seconds

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Initializing ocular scan

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Analyzing

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Ocular scan inconclusive

WARNING. System shut down in 20 seconds

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Initializing DNA testing

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Testing: Blood sample

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15% match found

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27% match found

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34% match found

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41% match found

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WARNING. 55% match required for full system acc…

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Override sequence activated. Enter override passcode

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WARNING. System shut down in 10 seconds

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WARNING. System shut down in 5 sec[ENTER]

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Analyzing override

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Override accepted

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Please enter USERNAME

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…[T]….[H]..[ENTER]

Welcome USER Harth, Wesk. Enter command

..[R].………[E]…[C]…[O].[V]…

…[E]…[R]….[ENTER]

Attempting recovery of memory banks

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Recovery process complete

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WARNING. Memory core has been damaged/formatted. Data loss at 93%. Reattempt recovery? [Y/N]

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Process terminated. Enter new command.

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.[R]……..[Y]…[ENTER]

Searching/Retrieving memory banks

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Search interrupted. Reinitiate search? [Y/N]

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Analyzing search results

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Results analyzed. Partitions: 1[+1] – Documents: 124[+10234] – Sound Files: 430[+7] – Video Files: 75[+23] – AI Recordings: 5[+1] – Unknown/Corrupted: 231345[+342529]

Examine search results? [Y/N]

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Which partition? [1/2]

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Override USER access denied. 55% DNA match required for partition 2. Access a different partition? [Y/N]

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Which partition? [1/2]

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Access granted. Select a file path to examine. [D/S/V/AI]

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Retrieving AI Recordings

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Retrieval successful. Examine AI Recordings? [Y/N]

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WARNING. Internal calendar has failed due to extended power loss. Attempt Wi-Net calendar sync? [Y/N]

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WARNING. Results will not display in chronological order. Continue? [Y/N]

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Select which AI Recording to examine. [1/2/3/4/5]

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Retrieving

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Retrieval successful. View AI Recording?

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AI Recording initialized

AI recording, entry #1029

Entry added by ADMINISTRATOR Harth, Xco

Date: January 24th, 2067

Time: 17:34, -06:00 GMT, Daylight savings in effect

Recording: Personal thoughts

A bitter laugh, born from the broken mind of a cynic and psychopath, escapes my lungs. I feel as if I am but a lost soul trapped in the body of a different man. The tears do not come, yet a heavy weight lies on my heart, the regret tears me apart.

Dear god, I was only playing my part.

It’s not the death toll that matters, but rather the principal of it. We… I… I saved hundreds of thousands, even millions, of lives.

Whether they wanted it or not.

There’s still a few million people left on Earth, a seemingly large number that pales in comparison to the few billion that were here but three years ago. But it isn’t the number that matters, for that is easy to dismiss as a statistic. It could just as easily be a million fish or a million trees; no one would have truly cared about those. Before the sun rises again I will have ended millions of lives. Some would call me a saviour, others a zealot with a skewered sense of justice, and I can live with that. I draw the line when they compare me to murderers like Stalin, Hitler or Mao though.

Then again, they didn’t wipe humanity off the face of the Earth either.

Man will persevere though, but on a new world. We may never reach the status or prominence of our forefathers but, in due time, we will rise again. Billions were led to the most unlikely of salvations, yet only a few thousand made the trip as a member of the human race. It is those few that shall be the ancestors of the trailblazers that reclaim Earth once she has recovered. The rest of the saved will forget Earth ever existed and, to them, humans will fade into legend, then myth, then obscurity.

And so will my exploits.

In my hands I hold a switch. It is but a stick hanging out of a box, so innocuous and plain that if someone else picked this up off the ground tomorrow they would think it belonged to some child’s toy. There are no hash marks on the side, no label that decries the power it wields, no lock to keep the curious at arms length. Yet, in the span of a second of me throwing it, the face of the Earth will be fated to change forever. Can one man be trusted with this kind of power?

Can one man live with himself after using the power he was entrusted with?

To think about it more would drive me to madness; to do it would accomplish that even faster.

Then that settles it. No use delaying the inevitable. I shall lose myself either way, and they shall send someone else to do the honours in my stead if I don’t finish my task. At the very least, if I do it myself, I will save at least one more from my fate.

I pull it down. There is no resistance, no clunk as gears shift, no warning klaxon, no lights to flash, it gives no outward sign that anything happened. Yet my heart bleeds, my soul cries out and my body trembles, and I know that what has been done cannot be taken back. An invisible clock ticks away above the head of every person still on Earth, and when it reaches midnight they will fall asleep, never to wake up. It strikes me as being cruelly impersonal; I can’t help but feel that it should be my duty to at least look into the eyes of the people I am have condemned.

I am no judge, there is no jury, but I have been labelled the executioner.

Today I have absolved mankind’s debts. I have given a bankrupt civilization another chance. For years we have written our past with the red ink of a deficit.

Now I pen the conclusion in the crimson of blood.

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AI Recording ended

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Process terminated

Warning: This story is an Alternate Universe take on the Conversion Bureau, and by chapter 9 changes completely from what you may expect a Conversion Bureau story to be like. Only read if you feel that won’t bother you.

The Conversion Bureau: Fragments of Regret

Based on the original fanfiction: "The Conversion Bureau" by Blaze

With Hints of the spin-off fics "Sidelines" and "Midnight's Tale"

Prelude:

Twilight Sparkle walked down the deserted street of the human town in silence. Too much was happening way too fast, and NONE of it made any sense. Today had been particularly stressful, which is why she was taking this walk in the first place. Though she hadn't done it in a while, she had picked up the habit of taking a walk down a random street to think whenever the mood suited her. It seemed she had been doing this more and more as a way to think without her friends or a dozen other ponies interrupting her.

She frowned only slightly at all the empty buildings and homes she saw as she walked by them. She recalled a rather interesting talk she had over a meal with one particular human about this. He was a good human. One of the ones that had gotten her into the habit of taking these thinking walks in the first place.

Him, like many others she had met, had not wanted to become a pony. They had wanted to remain human. Fix the mistakes they made. Save their dying race. While it sounded very noble, she just wasn't sure if such a thing could even be done. Eventually the borders of Equestria would be expanded, and there was just no current way for a human to be able to survive it's magical environment. Would those humans who chose to remain as they were simply die out once the borders became too wide spread for them to avoid?

Then there was the Human Liberation Front. How would they act when they realized that the very thing they have been after would be their destruction? Everything they had been doing recently would have been all in vain...

She sighed as she came to rest for a bit in what the humans called an elementary school. It was usually a point of interest for Twilight so see just how different something was in the human world compared to their own classification of the same thing in Equestria. Despite the day she had been having, she still marveled at a few of the more key differences. The jungle gym was of particular interest. Ponies of course would be unable to use such a thing given it's design, so there was no equal to it in their schools. Only humans, with their different limbs were able to use such a thing.

For in much the same manner monkeys would swing from tree branches, the humans would do much the same with something on the jungle gyms called, ironically, monkey bars. These bars were essentially raised metal bars in which the humans could swing from using their hands. From what she had read up on humans, she knew that these things were a fairly popular item for human children to play on.

She did however, have to shudder a bit at the choice of design this one had. Looking like a long winding snake complete with a replica snake head at the end. It's closed mouth grinning at her eerily.

A sudden shiver up her spine temporarily broke her from her thoughts. At first she thought it was just her aversion to snakes, but as the feeling seemed to stay with her, she realized it was 'That'. Quickly looking around, she used her magic to attempt to sense anyone or pony around. Not surprisingly, she came up with nothing. It was usually how these things went.

They had been rather small at first. The feelings and the number of ponies affected. So small that none of them had hardly talked of it or even paid it any mind at all. As time in the human world went on though, the feelings had slowly become a bit more common... A bit more fierce. She shuddered again. Like always this feeling reminded her of the EverFree forest in a very BAD way.

It was always the same feeling. A slight chill upon one's back. A low sense of dread, and anxiety. The feeling as if something was just... WATCHING you. Most ponies, herself included, tried to just ignore it. There was no reasonable explanation for the feeling or why one even got it. There was also never anything that came of it other then a feeling of uneasiness for a few moments after it passed.

It simply must be the stress of being in the human world, she told herself as she always did. What else could it be? She only wished the feeling hadn't become so strong lately. But how could she expect anything less after what...

She let the sentence trail off in her mind, subconsciously shutting her eyes tightly as if that would keep her from seeing the memories. It had been the worse thing to happen at the Ponification center. The first incident had been the hardest for Twilight. That human had been her friend. She still didn't understand why it had to happen, or why it was STILL happening. The Human Liberation Front had gone too far this time. It only aggravated her further that not only could they find virtually no info on just why the HLF was doing this, but even less on exactly HOW they were doing it! So many tests and security measures had been taken, but it had kept happening. There just was no way they could do what they had, so how? How in Celestia were they pulling it off?!

The forced walk down memory lane had her so occupied that she didn't register the noise until it had sounded twice. Startled, she brought up an invisible magic shield around her body. A trick she had to learn in case the humans were trying to use some of their projectile weaponry against her. At the same time she cursed herself for letting her guard down so much. There were many humans who were kind and understanding, but there were still many more that were not. The humans who thought the ponies were invaders, monsters. or simply things whose only purpose was to be killed in order to insure the human race's survival.

She heard it again. A strange creaking noise. Metal creaking to be exact. She scanned the area with both her eyes and magic. Desperate to find the cause. The report from the pegasi scouts this morning had confirmed that no hostile humans were detected in the city, but that didn't mean there wasn't the possibility they had missed a few.

The "feeling" was as strong as ever right now, making the task all the more difficult for her to perform. She tried summing up all the willpower she could to stay focused. There was no way she was going to be taken upon because of a silly feeling of stress-

That's when she heard it. A soft menacing whisper. It was cliché to a fault. Like what one would hear in any ghost story told around a camp fire. But here it was very real, and very much terrifying. She darted her eyes around frantically now. Something was wrong here. Something was very VERY wrong.

The very shadows around her seemed to be moving. Before she could dismiss the thing to an hallucination she found that her eyes were not playing tricks on her. The shadows WERE moving. One, two... then three... There was something unworldly about them. The last time she had seen anything like this was when she had fought Nightmare Moon so very long ago...

As the shadows danced around her, she was only able to watch them in stunned silence. They danced like this for but a few seconds before descending upon the jungle gym. One shadow rising up from the construct to greet them. In a flurry of movements they began to merge and change. Acting as if they were made of rubber, the shadows stretched and wrapped around the snake construct. They took upon a substance much like what the humans called sandwich wrap, pulling and tightening themselves, whatever they were really, around it until finally enveloping the head.

Then the real horror began.

She watched, still much to frozen by fear and her mind reeling at the very impossibility of what it was beholding. She watched as the 'snake' slowly started to move as if it were alivel. The bars bending as if they were rubber themselves, though by the horrible creak of the bending metal proved such a theory otherwise. The material was still very much the same as it had always been. Only now it was moving in a way it was never meant to.

The snake's head slowly lifted itself off the ground, dragging some of the body with it. The bars that had just recently been embedded in the earth, leaked dirt like water as it rose.

Still she watched as these bars on both sides, bent and fused together, forming a rather crude but effective body for the snake. The thing now resembling a huge metal snake all the more visibly.

Ever so slowly did the face of the snake turn to LOOK at Twilight. For try as she might, she couldn't describe the action it was performing as anything else. Finally the snakes mouth opened, her mind only briefly wondered how as the mouth hadn't been designed to do that. This was followed by a loud and menacing hiss. It was this hiss that finally allowed Twilight to do something other than stand frozen in her fear.

She screamed.

Chapter 1: Arrival

Two Months Earlier:

"Now just calm down James. It'll all be over before you know it you'll see..." The young adult with reddish hair was saying nervously to himself. Reaching into the bag at his side, he shakily withdrew a bottle of water and a few pills of Tylenol. It was getting worse and the doctors didn't know why. This could be his only hope. He reminded himself this as he took the medicine, but the feeling of reassurance would not come. This place still scared him immensely.

Gathering up the last of his nerves, he began to walk forward, barely letting out a breath as he passed through the doors into the Ponification center. He tugged at the Devil May Cry messenger bag, rather nervously, as he walked up to the receptionist desk. By this point he had seen many ponies up close and personal, therefore it caught him completely off guard to find a small purple and green dragon working the keyboard to the computer at the desk. Attempting to collect himself quickly, he snuck a glance at the name plate on the desk. Upon seeing the name written, he raised an eyebrow.

"I hardly think your name is Pinkie Pie" He said simply. The dragon stopped what he was doing to look at him oddly for but a few seconds before he seemed to catch on.

"Aw dang it," The dragon said turning the name plate to face him. Sure enough, the name Pinkie Pie was printed upon it in large pink letters.

"I told Twilight I need my own name plate, why do I keep forgetting to take this one off the desk when I'm stationed here anyway?" Annoyed at himself, the dragon took the plate and threw it into a draw before turning back to James.

"The name's Spike! Nice to meet you!" The small dragon said as extending his hand out. James carefully took and shook it, feeling silly that he was afraid of hurting the thing. He was sure that even a baby dragon couldn't be wounded so easily.

"I can only GUESS why you are here," Spike continued with a bit of a chuckle, "Not many reasons why humans would come here." James was only able nod in a dumb fashion, as he tried to crack a smile that wasn't a nervous one. He was pretty certain he failed.

"Y-yeah I'm here to become a-a... pony..." He felt his stomach tighten. It had been quite a while ago when these centers had opened up, allowing any humans who wished for it to become ponies. He had heard all the usual talk. Knew that the ponies meant no real harm to anyone. He also knew all about the fact that becoming a pony would mean a second chance for humans. The ability to enter a whole new world for them to explore and settle upon. In essence make a new claim to life. He knew very well that what he was here to do was in no means a bad thing at all.

So why on earth couldn't he shake the feeling that he was making a TERRIBLE mistake?

"Whoa, relax guy!" Spike had said, drawing James out of his daze. "You have nothing to be worried about. I've not seen anyone yet regret being a Pony! Course I think you'd probably have more fun being a dragon." He stopped to strike a dashing pose, attempting to look as magnificent as he could. The effect was only ruined slightly, mostly due to the fact that Spike was just a baby Dragon.

At least James was pretty sure the thing had to be a baby if he was THIS small. The pose did manage to do the trick Spike had probably been going for, as James felt himself relax a bit inwardly at the silliness of the whole thing. He managed to calm his jitters even despite the awe he was feeling at seeing a real live dragon!

"Heh, I don't suppose I could sign up for that instead?" He managed to joke. Some of the nervousness he had been feeling had drained from his body. Leaving him feeling rather relived.

"Nah, no such luck, I doubt the other dragons would want more being made that way anyhow. But I think being a pony could be just as good. My friend Twilight is the best, and who wouldn't want to be able to use magic? Or even fly?"

James could tell by the tone of Spike's voice and expression that he couldn't wait to fly himself. While researching Equestria James had seen a few pictures of the land that included one showcasing a dragon flying in the background. Given that, he assumed dragons must grow their wings later in their life cycle given Spike here had none...

Unless of course Spike was a breed of dragon that didn't get wings... James had to stop himself in mid thought. If he kept letting his mind wander like that, then he might never get through this. The decision had already been made. He couldn't let himself delay it any longer.

"So uh..." He began, attempting to steer the conversation back on the topic of him getting ponified. Unfortunately it was at that moment Spike seemed to get a good look at his messenger bag.

"Devil May Cry?! Oh man that series is awesome!" He said climbing onto the desk for a better look then his chair provided. (Which James saw had apparently been modified to allow Spike to be this high. He briefly wondered how Spike had gotten up into the chair in the first place, but Spike was rattling on) "I've played em all! The seventh was by FAR the best, but The third and Fourth were pretty good too. They seemed to kinda loose something with the way they went about five and six though, and don't get me STARTED on the second one-"

"Whoa whoa whoa," James said holding up his hands to stop Spike from prattling on. There was a bit too much going on for him to wrap his head around, so he started with the first question that was currently on his mind.

"You play videogames?"

"Oh of course! It's one of the best things you humans ever created!"

"So you can actually play them?"

"Of course dude! Unlike the ponies -I- have thumbs!" He demonstrated this by holding his hands up to prove his point. "I even write letters for all my friends, so in the way of hands I'm just like you!"

James couldn't help but find himself a bit speechless at this revelation. Of course Spike could do things like that. He had even seen him typing away at the computer when he had walked in. He guessed he had just been so use to ponies running these things that he didn't take into account meeting with something other then a pony.

"Huh I guess you're right," He said in a way that admitted he hadn't been thinking straight, though he doubted anyone could blame him. Talking ponies had been FAR from the norm not THAT long ago.

"What do you play?" He asked Spike. Now he was curious.

"Oh action games mostly. I tried playing a few of those things you call R-P-Gs, but I didn't like how you would fight dragons all the time. That one series called Breath of Fire was excellent however! (James couldn't help but grin at that) I use to play a few puzzle type games, but Twilight made me stop after a uh... columns incident..."

"You were LICKING the screen Spike." A Purple unicorn pony said from their right rather suddenly. James visibly jumped at the sudden intrusion. He hadn't even heard her walk up! Or would that be trot up?

"Oh I'm sorry, it wasn't my intention to scare you," The unicorn said with a bow of her head. James on the other hand, wasn't able to respond for several seconds as he looked the pony over.

When the ponies had first come to them with the offer, he had been one of the many who had been unsure of the whole thing. Even after more and more people got the conversion, and with all the news articles assuring the public that it was safe. He still wasn't sure about it. Not even the many ponies, formally human, that he talked to about it. All telling him it felt like the best thing they had ever done could convince him it was something he would ever want to do.

But... Recent events had forced his hand...

He mulled this over for the few seconds it took in his head, at least until he realized he had forgotten to give her any type of response.

"Oh uh, no problem. Just startled me is all..." He gave a rather nervous laugh while he rubbed the back of his head with his hand. It was something he had seen in many an anime and had subconsciously picked up the habit.

"Well I'm glad to meet you at any rate." She said with another head bow before turning to Spike, "So who's your new friend here?"

"Uh, I never actually got his name..." Spike said sheepishly while tossing a look at James.

"It's James, James Fowler." He said with a bow. He got a funny thought at that moment and decided to try his luck. Turning to Spike he said, "Think you can handle introducing me to the lady Spike?" The gamble paid off.. While Spike did glare at him, it was clear to anyone watching that it was friendly in nature.

"Ha ha," He said before pointing to the Unicorn, "This here is Twilight Sparkle, the friend I just mentioned. I guess you could also say she's my employer."

"Oh Spike, you know I think of you as much more then just an assistant," The unicorn pony said with a laugh, "Anyway it seems that you two were having fun.

"You bet! This guy's a gamer! Very much my kinda guy!" For some reason, James felt himself blushing at this compliment.

"Oh THOSE things, "She said with a sigh, "Well you two would get along, what with how much you play them all the time. I just don't get the appeal of them myself" Twilight shook her head to illustrate her point.

"Hey! I've been very good at not playing them during work!" Spike protested, Twilight just rolled her eyes.

"That's because you kept pestering me about trying to get them to work properly in our home that I finally had to agree to looking into it! That is IF you carried out your duties at the center properly." She shot back. Then with a smug expression she continued, "Which I don't think includes chatting away about them instead of taking down the latest volunteer's name."

"Yeah yeah, keep your shirt on." Spike said as he began typing away at the computer, having just used one of the human expressions he had grown fond of.

"I don't WEAR a shirt Spike! None of us do!" Twilight said exasperated. James could clearly see from the gleam in Spike's eye that he said that to intentionally annoy Twilight. He couldn't help but laugh, feeling much better about being here then he had ever thought possible.

"Sorry, sorry!" He said as he forced himself to calm down at the odd look Twilight was giving him. "But it's obvious you two have been together for a while. It's... It's just nice to see I guess."

Thankfully, Twilight seemed to understand his meaning as she gave a knowledgeable nod. After a few minutes, Spike had finished with whatever typing he had been doing on the computer.

"Okay James, got you all set up in the database. All that's left is to show you around and you'll be all set!"

"Wait really?" James said with a bit of a confused expression. "But all you had was my name. Don't you need anything else?"

"Like what?" Twilight asked him. Her face did not betray that this wasn't the first time she had shared a conversation like this with a new comer.

"Uh... I- I don't know! But it seems like there should be SOMETHING!" He said throwing his arms up in the air to elaborate.

"How about what your favorite party refreshments are!?" A voice said from directly beside him. The owner was another pony. This one was pink with a mane that was only a slightly different shade of pink from the body. The very aura she gave off was a clear indication that she was way to energetic for her own good.

Her manner of appearing was so sudden though, that James found himself responding before his brain could even register what had just happened or what he was doing.

"Well I like cookies, and ice cream, gotta go with Mountain Deee-WHA! WHERE DID YOU COME FROM!?" Upon having his brain come to speed, he had leaped violently to his side, nearly crashing into the wall in the process. Did ALL ponies just suddenly pop up out of nowhere like this!?

"Well once LOOOOOOOOONG ago, since my mommy and daddy loved each other very muc-MFFFFFFFF!!!" She began before an Orange pony wearing a cowboy hat stopped her by shoving an apple into her mouth.

"Not the time sugercube, ain't what he meant by that anyway!" The new comer said with a sigh. James didn't miss the southern drawl to her speech, but at the moment he was just glad to note that he had actually heard this one walk, or rather clomp, up

"Things sure are getting a bit lively round here," The orange one continued, this time speaking to Twilight.

"Indeed, thanks for your help AJ."

James noticed the orange pony nod her head. He couldn't help but wonder what AJ actually stood for, as he doubted that could be her name, anymore then he thought Spike could be called Pinkie Pie.

In fact if he had to wager, he'd say that name belonged to the 'Poof' pony who was currently enjoying her apple. The name certainly seemed to fit her perfectly.

"Anyway with the rate all these interruptions are going, it'll be midnight before I'm able to show James here to his room." Twilight then turned her attention to the human himself,

"Okay yes there is more, but we can handle that in your dorm room. Now, shall I show you around a bit? I was just passing by the desk anyway, so it'll be no trouble."

James nodded before turning to the two new ponies.

"Well uh, it was nice meeting you er..."

"Oh shucks where are my manners?" The Pony AJ said while taking his hand before shaking it rather vigorously. So much to the point that he was afraid it wouldn't stop moving after she let go.

"The name's Applejack! I'm sure as hay we'll catch each other again."

James nodded about to give his own name before realizing that Twilight had pretty much already had. He was also right about his arm not stopping and had to use his other one to still it.

"That there jittery miss jitterson is Pinkie Pie. Y'all be hearing much more of her." Applejack finished pointing to the Pink pony who had since finished her apple and was now jumping up and down seeming excited that she was being talked about. James could only look at her dumbly. Did she EVER stop moving? He was getting tired just from watching her.

"She does the loudspeaker announcements," Twilight said upon seeing the confused expression he begun to give her. Not wanting to waste any more time, she began to trot down the hallway.

"This way please"

James fell into step behind her. Finding it easier then the thought it would to keep up with her. He had thought that with four legs she'd easily be able to outdistance him. Then he realized that he couldn't have been the first person she'd show around like this and had most likely gotten use to moving at a slower pace to accommodate humans like him.

Turning a corner, they reached a set of double doors, (Which James took note had no knobs or bars so the ponies could easily push them open, which is exactly what Twilight did) As they walked through them, he caught the last few exchanges of dialog back at the desk.

"Sorry it took long as it did Spike." He heard Applejack say.

"Yeah that took SOOOOO long! But now I'm back and ready to take over the desky spot again!" Pinkie Pie's voice said next, "But wait! where is my name plate! Oh no! What if someone stole it? Oooo! Or what if it's hiding! I bet it's a prize in one of those cereal boxes the humans have in their stores!"

"It's in the desk where I always put it!" Spike's annoyed reply was the last thing he heard before the doors swung back shut. Amazingly, cutting off the noise.

* * *

"Well here are the dorms. Guess that concludes the little tour." Twilight said as they walked down a hallway that reminded James much of the hotels he'd been in for anime conventions. She continued trotting, leading him to a room marked 1408 before stopping.

"This will be your room for the next week or so," She went on, "Announcements for ponification are always in the morning. You're free to travel around the center as much as you want. Provided you stay out of the areas for Authorized Personal only of course." James nodded absently, only paying enough attention to somewhat grasp the information she was giving him. In the meantime, he was staring at his room number rather nervously.

"There will be a seminar in a couple of hours regarding the... ponification process- are you okay?" She had finally asked, seeing the odd expression upon his face.

"There... there aren't any paintings of ships in here are there? The heater and air conditioner don't need work right?"

"What? No! Why on Equestria would you ask that?" James felt like pointing out they were on earth, not Equestria, but he was already feeling sheepish at the reason for his increased nervousness. The ordeal he was to face had already been making him nervous, not to mention frightened to all hell. So in no way was the room number really helping matters. He kind of wondered if it was a bad omen.

"Well it's just uh... there was this movie... uh you know I'm just being silly. I'm sure it'll be fine." He managed to stammer out, turning his attention away from the door to Twilight. Doing his best to calm his jittery nerves again, he gave her a half hearted smile.

"Um... okay. If you say so," Twilight said, deciding to drop the subject, "Here are the forms you'll need to fill out. You can hand them in to me after the seminar. In fact, I'm actually the speaker for it!"

"Oh! Well that means I'll have a friendly face to look forward to!" He said relieved, then realizing how that might be taken, "Uh not that the others uh...er..." Twilight just laughed.

"Relax James, you aren't the first person to have the jitters upon coming here. There was this one guy named Martin, but I'm going on a tangent. Just relax. We're all here to help you, and there is nothing to fear about becoming a pony."

"Th-that's right!" Squeaked a voice to their left. Turning to see who had just spoken, they saw a small girl that couldn't have been any older then twelve, peeking out from her room. As they looked her way, she seemed to want to dash back into that room, but had gathered up her courage to remain as she was.

"Well hello there, I'm surprised to see you around the dorm rooms at this time. Most ponies- er or people are out and about right now." Twilight said in the gentlest voice she could muster. James could see the expertise in her tone as she spoke to the young girl. Even he couldn't be afraid of someone (or pony) who spoke like that. Twilight must have had a lot of practice on some particularly shy people...

"My-My sister wanted me to join her in the gardens, but I was feeling sleepy so I stayed an' took a nap." She squeaked out. James had to smile at the girl. In her arms she held what appeared to be a stuffed panda bear. He could see that she must love the thing a lot, judging by how worn the toy appeared.

She was a very cute child. Blond hair, blue eyes. Wearing the cutest blue dress. He briefly found himself wondering what she might have looked like all grown up. But since she was here that'd never happen. She'd be a pony long before she was even in high school. It seemed a bit of a shame somehow... Though he couldn't help but think that thought could be considered a little weird...

"B-but anyway!" She had turned her words back to James, "My-My sister? Yeah she's a pony now. She said it dunna hurt. She says she's happy to be one."

"You sound like you trust your sister very much." James said in a gentle manner himself. He couldn't do it the same way Twilight did, but it appeared that the girl could sense his nervousness. He didn't know it, but that was the entire reason she had decided to speak to him in the first place.

"I do! I do!" She said rather enthusiastically. "I trust her thiiiiiiiis much. (She stretched out her hands and arms as far as they'd go to demonstrate) I can't wait to join her!"

"I'm sure she can't either. In fact I bet she's even waiting for you now. To join her in the gardens. I bet that'd make her very happy! Why not go find her now that you're awake?" He said smiling. The girl nodded happily and proceeded to make her way down the hallway, almost leaving it before turning back around.

"Oh! I'm Rose! Who're you mister?" She called back.

"I'm James! It was very nice to meet you Rose!" He called back waving. Rose gave a small curtsey before she ran off, disappearing from sight. He figured Twilight must have already met the girl since they didn't exchange names as well.

"Wow, so young, and so much more courage then I have..." He let slip before realizing what he had said.

"You really ARE nervous about this aren't you?" Twilight asked him softly. She had said it gently attempting to calm his nerves like she did the girl. Though he appreciated the effort, he wasn't sure he'd ever feel completely calm with any of this. He only hoped the ponfication brought him the peace he was longing for...

"Yes... very much." Came his quiet reply.

"If... if you need to talk sometime. I might be able to..." Twilight offered softly. She wasn't exactly sure how to go about this. James merely smiled at her though.

"I think I just need some time to settle in that's all. If I'm still feeling this anxious after your seminar, I'll seek you out okay? Except I have to seek you out anyway to give you the papers..." He said suddenly realizing how silly it had been to say that. Twilight stifled a giggle.

"Sounds good. You just fill those out and get back to me okay? And try not to worry. We've never had anyone hate being a pony." With that she turned and left. Leaving James alone to his thoughts.

"I just wish the price wasn't so high..." He said quietly to himself before entering his room.

Ironically, neither him nor Twilight actually knew the price all the new ponies were paying, and it'd be a long time before they did...

* * *

"Afternoon, everyone. I'm Twilight Sparkle, and I'll be talking to you all for the next twenty minutes. Now, I'm almost positive all of you are here because you want to become a pony. This is a fact. You don't come here because you don't want to be a pony, unless someone forced you at gunpoint, but then I'd have to worry about how they got that past security."

Everyone in the room laughed at the joke, the mood in the room lightening. James sitting among them. After being left alone, he had plowed through the paper work, surprised at just how extensive the questions were. Though it did concern him a bit that he hadn't see any of the usual legal mumbo jumbo you'd usually find in such forms. Part of him was worried about that, but he had to admit that part of him was glad he didn't have to read through any of the stuff.

He had been passing the time by playing his old school 3DS when the announcement for the seminar had blared over the intercom. Putting his system away, he headed for where it was held, and thus here he was, with a whole room full of strangers. Thus he took quick notice that Rose wasn't with them. He guessed she had already heard all this before.

Meanwhile, Twilight continued her speech, "I do admit that while I don't fully understand your reasoning behind your choice to become a pony, considering I was born one myself, I can understand what we have been facing in the past few years. There have been many humans who have brought your world to shambles. Whether it be through the greed of some of your large corporations, or the horrible health habits many other humans have displayed."

She proceeded to unfurl a map by using her magic, pointing out the isle of Equestria as she did. James couldn't believe how tiny the land mass looked on a map. Yet he was certain it seemed so much larger when you were finally there...

"Ponykind faces overpopulation, in ways that the tiny isle of Equestria simply can't deal with forever. That's why we moved into your towns and cities. I'm sure you all know about this already, but what you probably haven't heard is why we're doing this. Why you are here today, sitting in this cramped room with sweaty, tired people just waiting for me to shut the hay up."

Again the room chuckled at her humor. Twilight was visibly pleased with the reactions, though she tried not to show it. Ever since she had a talk with a human named Michael, she had realized just how terrifying her speech could seem to some of the humans. Upon realizing that, she had worked extra hard at revamping it, attempting to put a calming spin on it. The safer people felt, the less likely they were to regret their decision and leave before the process was done. She wanted to save these people. The ones who weren't part of the problem. She didn't want them to be part of that dying world any longer..

"Our plan is to ponify as many as are willing, the sooner the better. We only hope that in time, it'll be all of you. Please do not be concerned of the change. You'll get used to our culture, our food, and our lack of thumbs. Trust me, it's easier than it looks. Because humans can't handle the magic radiating from Equestrian borders, becoming a pony is crucial to expanding the peaceful, friendly aura that surrounds Equestria every day of every month of every year. All we want to do is help you adjust before it's too late for your world. Thank you."

While the entire room applauded, Twilight couldn't help but notice that while James was smiling, he wasn't clapping as loud as the others. It wasn't hard to tell that something was on his mind. Perhaps the ending of the speech still felt to much like an invasion threat? She'd have to ask his opinion when he turned in the papers. She waited paitently as one by one the people filed out of the room, finally leaving only the two of them left. At last, James got up from his seat to hand her the finished documents.

"Nice speech Twilight." He said as he handed her the papers. She smiled while using her magic to levitate them out of his hand and into a pouch on one of the saddlebags she was wearing. This action actually startled James a bit, as he hadn't been expecting her to take the papers from him in such a way. Amazed by this simple feat of magic, he stood there transfixed. He had no doubt that to her it was nothing out of the ordinary, but to him it was simply mesmerizing.

"Thank you James, uh you... you didn't think it sounded like an invasion declaration did you?" James blinked.

"What? Uh no, not really why? Has that happened?"

"Let's just say that my old speech had some... wrinkles to iron out. So have you settled in yet?"

"Uh, I-I guess so." He sighed. Twilight hated to keep prying but it was clear that SOMETHING was bothering this boy. For whatever reason she just couldn't stop herself from trying to help the guy. Maybe it was because of how her friends had helped her out when she had been new to Ponyville. His way of carrying himself, did remind her slightly of how she felt back then...

"Look... James. Please, I know something is bothering you. I can promise you that anything you say won't leave this room. I don't know what may be bothering you, but I don't want you to feel pressured into becoming a pony or anything like that. So is there any way you can talk to me about what's bugging you?"

She could see him wrestling with the emotions he was feeling while he stood there. He seemed to greatly consider it, but with a sigh he shook his head.

"It's nothing you need to worry about. I'm not here because of peer pressure or anything like that. I just have some... uneasy feelings about all of this that's all."

Twilight was a pretty smart pony, and could easily tell he was keeping something big from her. While this did irritate her that he was remaining tight lipped, really what could she do? If he didn't want to talk about it, she had no choice but to respect his wishes.

"Well, if there ever is anything, you know where to find me." Twilight said before using her magic to shuffle and store all her papers, including James', into her saddle bags. Again James watched with awe as the papers floated around with a faint purplish glow. It made him really hope he became a unicorn. That just might make all this worth it...

"You seem to be a fan of magic." She teased, in hopes of getting him to relax a little more. By what she could tell, it worked.

"How can I not be? You're whole life you are told that magic doesn't exist, only to have that very thing shown to you first hand like this? It's just amazing! I've wanted to witness real honest magic since I was just a little boy! Who'd have ever thought I'd get to see it in my lifetime..."

Twilight had to giggle at how old James sounded when he said that.

"You still have a lot of life left you know. You look rather young for a human." James nodded.

"I'm am, only twenty-one since a couple of months ago but..." He almost slapped his hand over his mouth. As it was he grew deathly silent, and his expression turned grim. How could he have almost blurt it out like that!?

"I've found that no one ends a sentence that way unless they have something horrible to reveal..." Twilight said softly, "James please. What is it?"

He sighed He knew he'd be unable to hide it forever, and though Twilight seemed like a good person- er pony. He didn't want to regret having told her later. Frankly he didn't want anyone to know if he could help it. Besides, how did you go telling some one in Twilight's position that you were only here because it might be the only hope you have left?

"I... I can't..." His voice barely a whisper. "Give me time... Maybe... Maybe later but I just can't right now..."

Twilight regarded him for several minutes. He was avoiding eye contact with her. Part of her wanted to scream at him for this. He was obviously hiding something important. That much was certain. Whatever it was, it had him scared. Really scared. It almost made her wonder if this human was safe to be around. She knew very well what creatures would do when cornered and humans were no exception to that rule.

Still... Looking at him as he was, especially judging him by the behavior he had so far displayed. It was too hard to imagine him causing any deliberate harm to others. Whatever was bothering him appeared to be a rather deep and personal issue for him. Despite his reluctance to talk, she decided to try one last means of gaining any sort of information.

"James... do you want to become a pony?" Her voice barely above a whisper itself. James gave her a look that reminded her of her friend Fluttershy oh so much... Then gulping, he shook his head no.

"It's... It's not really that it's..." He sighed again before he continued, "Complicated. But I can tell you this Twilight. I'm here because I chose to come here. I chose to become a pony. I can promise you that."

Twilight just remained silent after his words. That hadn't been the answer she wanted. He was being deliberately vague, and it was annoying her a bit more then she thought it would. Yet at the same time she really couldn't blame him. After all, it wasn't like she told HER friends everything, even with all the time they had known one another. Even then, they were her FRIENDS. Ponies she would see often and knew well. To this guy she was just some unicorn pony asking uncomfortable questions. She probably would have kept her distance herself.

Even so, she wished she knew what was up. How could she possibly help him if she couldn't even grasp the problem proper?

"I'm sorry." He said quietly. She sighed.

"No I'm sorry James. I'm pushing you too hard for information on something that really doesn't have anything to do with me. Forget I asked anything." She gave him a smile, before deciding to change the subject.

"So, have you given any thought as to what pony you'd like to become?" James' reaction was to shrug.

"Not really... Okay no, maybe that's a bit of a lie. I think I'd enjoy becoming a unicorn or a pegasus pony. To fly? To use magic? Either one would be fantastic! Er... No offense to any Earth Ponies, but if I'm going to become a pony. I'd like one of those benefits." His eyes wandered to her horn, before he glanced away with a blush. She had seen him do it though.

"Why do I have a feeling you'd like to be a unicorn pony the most?" Her mouth a huge grin. This just caused him to blush even darker. A fact he tried to hide, rather unsuccessfully, with a 'yawn'

"Well... it would be pretty cool." He admitted, "Anyway, I think I'm going to go take a nap. Maybe it'll calm my nerves..."

She nodded while watching him get up and make his way to the doors. As she watched him go, she couldn't help but mull over any possible way to help him out. She knew that that he was putting on a brave face to cover up something. She also had an idea of how draining that had to be on him. If only there was someway she could keep his mind distracted on other things-

That's when a rather random thought entered her head. She was certain he'd not be opposed to the idea the other one HAD been trying his best to do his work properly...

"Hay James!" She called out just as he was about to leave the room. James stopped in mid stride to turn back toward her. His hand resting on the door.

"Yes?" He asked.

"I think Spike could use someone to talk about games with. Not too many people around here who seem to share his tastes. You seem to be one though. Think you can keep him busy for a while tonight?" The smile James gave her was bigger then anything she had seen him give since he had arrived earlier that day.

"I think that would be pretty awesome. It's been a while since I've had a good gamer chat!" Then with that, he was out the door and down the hall.

Notes:

I’ve done my best to proof read, and have a couple of people helping me out by reading through it as well. With that said however, this doc is liable to change at any time as I make any corrections pointed out to me.

Also I don’t consider this fic canon with the original fic, or the two spin-off fics I reference. I suppose you could consider it more of an ‘Alternate Take’ on the concept.

Tibits:

-When Twilight mentions having a meal with a human over the topic of the empty streets, it’s a reference to the spin-off Fic ‘Sidelines’ My favorite of the spin-off fics, and what inspired me to write my own. The fic is mentioned again when Twilight talks about having changed up her speech.

-Twilight mentions there was this guy named ‘Martin’ who was also nervous about taking the ponification process. This is a reference to ‘Midnight’s Tale’, another spin-off fic I really love.

Yes I realize I mention there are hints to both fics at the start of this, but I thought it’d be neat to point out when I gave nods to them. ^_^

Course neither of those Authors know I was writing this, so I hope they don’t mind. ^^; You won’t ever see the actual characters from those fics in this one of course.

Chapter 2: Encounters

"Come on! Just a few more!" Spike said while watching James eat some tater tots with a fierce intensity.

"No! You already took about half from me! Go get your own!" James responded while keeping a close eye on Spike's movements.

"But that's way over THERE" Spike said, indicating the serving counter at the other end of the room. He sat silent for a few moments before his voice took on a bargaining tone.

"I'll give you some of these!"

"I don't want any of your hay fries Spike."

"Well, seems you two are getting along nicely." Twilight said as she trotted up to their table. Levitating a tray of food in front of her with her magic as she did so. James blinked a bit at what appeared to be a flower sandwich on her tray, before remembering that she was a pony.

It was a few hours later, and time for dinner, since Spike had come to hang out with James. Spike had been rather surprised that Twilight had even given him the opportunity to do so. He was understandably skeptical of the whole thing at first, especially since all he really knew about James, was that he played some of the videogames Spike himself liked. But in the end decided time off from work, was time off from work.

It didn't take long before Spike found himself glad he had accepted the request. For it turned out that James was big on a lot of the retro games that he was a fan of.

You could find people who liked a lot of the modern gaming stuff just fine, but one who was a true fan of the old stuff was incredibly rare. Even more so, someone who liked the same types as you. So to Spike, James was the perfect companion for his time off. James on the other hand was just glad for a distraction.

Still by watching them now, you'd never have guessed that they had only just met that morning.

"Twi! You should hear about this guys game collection! He has a copies of the Bust a Groove Games! Those things are super hard to find!" James couldn't help but feel embarrassed with Spike telling Twilight all about his nerdy collection. Twilight being who she was though, didn't seem to be interested.

"I'll take your word for it Spike." She replied as she took a seat next to them.

"I didn't think I'd see you here." James said, hoping to cut off any future remarks about his gaming habits. While he did have a big collection, he didn't like to brag about it. It wasn't helping him either, when he thought about how it was another thing he'd soon have to give up...

"Why's that?" Twilight said between bites of her food.

"Well, you have a really important role here right? I dunno I guess you'd all have your own dining room or something."

"Oh not at all. Actually if anything that would be even stranger, when every other pony is out here.." Twilight said before levitating up a cup to her mouth so she could drink from it. He couldn't quite make out what was in it, but he did pick up the faint scent of tea leaves...

"Besides, A pony has simply GOT to socialize! Why, it'd be a nightmare to be cooped up back there all day! Talk about the wasted opportunities for mingling!" Spoke a new voice James was quickly able to identify belonging to a white unicorn pony with a purple mane. He couldn't remember seeing a more radiant pony before. The very air seemed to glow with her elegance.

Okay yeah, he hadn't met many other unicorn ponies in his time, with Twilight being the only one he really talked to. But the one that stood before him now? He had a feeling he could search both earth and Equestria twice over and never again find one so graceful.

"Oh dear me, I'm so sorry to intrude upon your conversation, but I saw my good friend Twilight here and couldn't help but eavesdrop. Please forgive me." The pony said as she set her own plate of food down besides Twilight's. James couldn't help but be a bit startled when she lifted her front left to bend it as if it were an arm, placing her hoof against her chest like an arm. Straightened her throat in a very professional manner she went on.

"I am Rarity. Very pleased to meet your acquaintance." He was so put off at the utter weirdness of being at a dinner table with two ponies, (and a baby dragon) that it took him a moment to realize she was waiting for him to introduce himself back.

"Oh! Um..." He said while trying his best to look composed. (He was sure he failed) "I'm James. Uh, Pleased to meet you Lady Rarity." Despite his attempts to compose himself having made her smile in amusement. His way of speech did just the opposite.

"Well, Lady Rarity! I can see you were brought up with some fine manners. You'll make a fine pony indeed I do say!" He knew it was a compliment, but frowned at the exchange. Thankfully, that was something he wouldn't have to deal with for a few days more at most.

Turning his thoughts instead to the way Rarity spoke, he took special notice at just how high class she seemed to carry herself. He didn't really think this was a bad thing, or that she was a bad pony or anything. But there was just something to her mannerisms that made him wonder if he could put up with her for any extended amount of time...

It was also about this time that he noticed Spike had remained strangely quiet during all this. Glancing over at his companion, he was greeted to the sight of Spike giving Rarity the biggest goo-goo eyes he had ever seen. This caused him to roll his own eyes with a grin. On the bright side of course, this meant he could eat his tater tots in peace.

"Good evening Rarity, Everything checking out for tomorrow's ponification?" Twilight asked as Rarity ate. James was once again astonished at this pony. Even her way of EATING was elegant.

"No problems at all Twilight. Come tomorrow morning we'll have another happy pony on the grounds." The words caught James' attention immediately. All he knew about the process to becoming a pony, was what everyone else knew. Even with so many having already been converted, the amount of information on the actual process was extremely limited. About all anyone knew, was that you drank something, and then there was some needle. After that, in about ten or so minutes, you got a pony.

"So uh..." He paused, not certain if they'd give him an answer, but after catching the comforting look from Twilight, he decided to press on.

"How, well if you don't mind my asking that is, does this 'thing' work? Ponification I mean..." He didn't even try to keep the nervousness from his voice. That was a battle he was destined to loose.

"Dear me." Rarity said giving Twilight a grin, "Kind of reminds you of someone right there doesn't he?" Twilight had to almost bite her tongue to keep from laughing. James just looked confused.

"Oh don't you mind that," Twilight began, brushing the comment of Rarity's aside, "I'm sure you've already heard from many the basics. As they'd tell you, we give you a cup of some powerful general anesthetic."

"That helps you go to sleep so you can start the uh... gene manipulation?" James asked, interrupting.

"Well not exactly. You see, the base plate of the gene therapy is in the anesthetic. This is basically what turns you into a pony based on your DNA. Though even I am not sure exactly how it works. But somehow it finds which type of pony you're best suited for, and well 'makes' you that pony." As Twilight spoke, James was going over this in his head. Nodding to show he understood at various points.

Rarity, meanwhile, was just watching the two of them talk while she ate. Deeming it unnecessary for her to join in.

"But you said that just had the base plate. So does that mean you need a catalyst to get it started?" James asked.

"Well close," Twilight said nodding, "A catalyst usually is something you add to a chemical reaction to increase it's reactor rate, but usually ends without any permanent changes. Obviously that wouldn't work in this case. You do have the right idea though. We inject into you the reaction chemical shortly after you've drank the anesthetic. It's this that begins the actual change into a pony. With that done, it's just a short wait and well... You're a pony." James let this all sink in, after she spoke. He still had a few questions that needed asking.

"So, there uh... hasn't ever been any failures have there?" He asked first. The question caused Rarity to scoff.

"Heavens no! Don't you even worry about such a thing! We've taken every precaution to insure that that volunteers such as yourself, have nothing to worry about! Why, not once in the entire time of these centers being opened, has there EVER been anything like that! Certainly not here, and especially not on MY watch!"

Despite the way she said it, the speech did manage to calm his nerves rather well. He was really pleased to see that she took such pride in her work. James didn't doubt for a second that she did all she could to make sure there was no danger.

"Oh yeah that reminds me," He said, a random thought coming to the front of his mind, "Does it really only take about ten or so minutes? Maybe it's just me, but I always felt something like that would take longer." He didn't know why, but Twilight gave the oddest smile just then. It was almost like she had a very similar conversation before...

Twilight actually found it rather ironic. While James didn't have the book smarts of the other guy, the set up of this conversation was almost identical. It was even during dinner like that time.

"That's where the magic comes in." She said, watching James' eyes light up. She was beginning to find the way he brightened up like that at the mention of magic rather cute.

"Oh... so I guess that boosts it or something. Is that all it does?" He asked. Twilight just smiled.

"What else would it do?"

This caused James to blink

"Huh, guess I didn't really think about that..." He said with a sheepish look.

"Don't be embarrassed my dear, it was a perfectly fine question to ask," Rarity said jumping back into the conversation. Spike's only additions on the other hand were an occasional mumble of 'Rarity'. If the white unicorn heard him, she didn't let on.

"Well I suppose you could say it helps calm new ponies down a bit so they can get use to their new bodies. A bit of a calming spin to it you could say." That caught James' ear.

"It affects the mind?" The panic in his voice rising.

"Not at all!" Twilight quickly countered, seeing his concern. "It's to aid in the numbing feeling of the anesthetic. A way to keep the mind at ease you could say. While I have to admit that I wouldn't know for sure, I have a feeling that finding yourself in a new body could be rather... surprising. Even if you are expecting it." Though James did seem to relax a bit when she told him this, the look of panic didn't leave his face.

There just seemed to be a puzzle piece missing in all this. You become a pony and not once, did anyone EVER feel regret about it. That just didn't add up. Yet he also didn't believe that Twilight and Rarity were lying to him. Sure he didn't know them that well, but he was usually pretty good at these things.

That basically only left the possibility that they themselves didn't know if the process did anything more then what was advertised. But if they didn't know, then there wasn't much of a chance of him discovering it. If there was anything to discover at all.

Only thing he could do was hope he was just being paranoid. Which given his current mindset, was probably the case. After all, when he had talked to people he had known personally before they became ponies. He never did see anything to suggest they were different. They were just... happier is all.

However, there was one question he figured they did have the answer to, and it was the most important question he had to ask.

"I've heard that some people with problems like bad eyesight, or weak bones and such, don't have any of these problems carry over to their pony form. Is that true?"

"Is it ever!" Rarity said with a smile, "Why many have thanked me personally for it, even though I'm not the one to blame for it. It's the scientists who created the process that should get the credit. Though I must admit, it's nice to be appreciated." James rolled his eyes.

"Indeed, it's part of the gene manipulation." Twilight added. James nodded, feeling the jittery feeling in the pit of his stomach growing stronger, while some of the nervousness he had been feeling had dropped away. If the process really could do all that...

It just might do it for him to!

"Well It's been a pleasure to meet you James, but I must get back to work now. Are you coming Twilight? We still have to go over our current stock." Rarity said, while using her magic to dump the leftovers of her meal into the trash nearby.

Twilight blinked at Rarity's words. She had forgotten all about that task. She was a bit reluctant to leave James like this. The conversation seemed to have really effected him somehow. Given how he had been speaking earlier, she wondered if he was really 'okay' right now.

In the end she realized that if anything was amiss, Spike was with him, and would most certainly tell her if he was having any problems. With that in mind, she was able to focus on the task that lay before her..

"Oh right," She said picking up her now empty tray with her magic.

"I'll see you around James! Take care of Spike tonight alright?" James nodded in response.

"Yes, and I'll make sure to make your time for ponification as stress free as possible. So don't you worry!" Rarity's offer made him smile. It felt a bit forced, but she didn't seem to notice. He really was glad that she would help him out like that. But still, it would have been so much better if he had never needed to enter that room at all...

With that, the two unicorn ponies walked away from the table, Twilight glancing back every so often to insure that James wasn't about to freak out. She still didn't trust the look he had been giving, but she couldn't see any signs of distress upon his face.

When they had finally left the room, he felt his body begin to shake. Gritting his teeth, he took a swig from his Mountain Dew. For whatever reason the stuff always managed to calm his nerves. The exact knowledge of how the process worked still unnerved him just a little. That missing piece bugging him no matter how many times he tried to convince himself that he was just imagining things.

They were all fine, He reminded himself again. No one you spoke to after ponification ever seemed different, and you heard what they said about it fixing medical problems. Okay maybe no doctor can locate the cause, but it's still a better shot then most...

Spike, who had still been in his love struck daze, finally took this moment to return to his senses.

"Huh Rarity? Oh I guess she left..." He said sounding a bit disappointed. It didn't last that long though.

"Anyway back to business!" He turned to James while cupping his hands together. "PLEASE! Please let me have some!"

"Ugh! I give up! Take them!" James said pushing his plate over to Spike. The dragon let out a 'whoop' before he began to chow down. James just sighed. He had lost his appetite anyway...

* * *

Later in the evening, long after lights out, found James outside his room. He had been trying to wrestle a beverage from a vending machine in near pitch darkness, while at the same time trying not to make so much noise that it woke the dead.

It was no surprise he couldn't sleep. How could he? Here he was in the one place he had never wanted to be. That freaking room number wasn't helping matters either. He nearly jumped out of his skin when Spike had come to hang out earlier. In fact, the baby dragon was the only reason he had even managed to relax in the first place...

At last he managed to grab what appeared to be a container of chocolate milk. Least that was the best he could make it out in this darkness. Whatever it was, he just hoped it didn't have caffeine in it. Much as he wouldn't mind calming his nerves with a Mountain Dew or something right now, he also didn't want to be wide eyed awake for the rest of the damn night.

Leaning up against the wall with a sigh, he half heartedly flicked the stopper of the bottle in his hand. Not applying nearly enough force to actually open it.

Why had he come here? His entire family had been only too happy to ditch this world in favor of a new one. One with lush forests, beautiful fields, better neighbors, access to real honest to goodness magic. All in all it should be a dream come true right? So why couldn't he be happy that he was allowed to join in on all that?

He knew the answer of course. But with things as they were. What choice did he really have?

"J-James?" Came a very quiet whisper from the darkness. He was actually glad he hadn't opened his drink yet, for the three feet he suddenly jumped at that would have spilt it for certain.

"W-who's there? Are you a ghost? I'm warning you I have the Camera Obscura!" He whispered back, trying to catch a glimpse of anything that might look like a specter. Course the threat was a bluff, he had no such thing. Especially since that item only existed in one of his retro games. He was also sure that if it was a ghost he was dealing with, it'd call his bluff easily. But hey, it was past midnight and he was frightened. One couldn't blame him for his mind not being fully functional.

The false bravado was actually met with giggling. It was then that his eyes finally focused enough to notice Rose opening the door to her room before stepping out. Her panda still clutched tightly in her arms.

"I'm no ghost silly." She said in a quiet whisper. James was too busy trying to stop his jack hammering heart to laugh it off with her. Instead he asked what anyone else would.

"Rose? Why are you up at this hour?"

"I-I couldn't sleep..." She whispered, as her eyes drifted to the floor. The laughter from her voice had vanished as suddenly as it had appeared.

"Oh..." It was all he could muster in response. After a few more seconds of silence, Rose spoke again.

"Did you have a bad dream?" She asked as she looked back up at him. He nodded.

"Yeah. I did. Did you?"

"Sorta..."

"Oh..."

Silence again..

"What was it about?" Came her voice a few minutes later.

"I can't remember. Can you remember yours?"

"Uh-huh..."

"... Care to talk about it?"

"Uh-uh"

"Oh..."

Again the with the silence. He mentally cursed himself. What was he suppose to say?

"So... You must really like that Panda Bear." This time he spoke first. She smiled while giving him a nod.

"Yep! His name is Bamboo! My sister gave him to me."

"You're sister must be an awesome person then."

"Yep!"

She fell silent yet again. This was becoming frustrating.

"Are you afraid of becoming a pony?" She asked suddenly. By now he was far to tired to jump, so he merely looked at her in surprise. He could see she was scared. He thought it was because she wasn't use to talking to him yet, or her bad dream.

Could it be because she was also scared of becoming a pony?

"Are you?" He asked.

"I asked you first!"

She got him there.

"Yes..." He said quietly. By this time he had finally popped open his drink and took a swig. Yuck! It wasn't chocolate milk! It was green tea! How did he confuse the two?!

"Really? But why?" She asked in that innocent way only a child could. He regarded her for several moments while trying to figure out how to answer her. How could he possibly portray to her exactly what had him so scared about this? How could he possibly make her understand the reason he had to go through with it anyway?

"Well... what if I'm not happy as a pony?" He said at last. It was the best he could do without lying, and he just didn't want to lie to this girl.

"But, my sister says no one ISN'T happy as a pony!"

"Oh? Then why are YOU afraid?"

"I..." She stopped speaking. Her very posture was that of nervousness. He noticed her clutch Bamboo even tighter. Apparently this gave her the strength to continue.

"I'm afraid I won't become the one I want..." He couldn't help but raise an eyebrow.

"Which pony do you want to become?"

"A... a pegasus like my sister. I want to be able to fly along side her in the sky... To fly..." She looked up at the ceiling, as if she was imagining just that. Despite her age, he could see the longing in her eyes. It was like the ceiling wasn't even there and all she could see was the vast star lit sky.

For some reason, the thought of this had never occurred to him. Did people become ponies they were unhappy with? It was pretty clear by the girl's expression that she probably wouldn't be happy as any earth bound pony. What if she didn't get a pegasus?

Surprising even himself, he felt the need to help this girl. There was no way he was going to calm down, but if he could help her...

"That sounds nice. I'm sure that'll be what happens."

"But how can you know for sure?!" She asked. He was surprised she remembered to keep her voice down. These rooms must be very well insulated considering no one else had come out yet. Either that or everyone were really heavy sleepers.

"Well I don't," He admitted, "But you're sister is one right? You're both related, so I'd say you have a pretty good chance."

"That's what my sister said, but you still don't know..." She sulked. He could see this was really bothering her. But what could he really say? Far as he saw, you didn't know what pony you'd become until you became it. Still, his heart reached out to this girl.

"Did she say she'd mind you being a different pony?"

"Course not!" Rose said looking straight at him, "She said it'd be fine no matter what pony I become!"

"Then I'd say you have nothing to worry about." He had a feeling she wouldn't accept that though.

"But I WANT to be a pegasus!" She stamped her foot in indignation, causing James to nearly bite his tongue in order to keep himself from laughing. She had done it just as quietly as she was doing everything else so not to wake anyone. The resulting image was just too cute and silly.

"Tell you what, if you don't become a pegasus pony, I'll personally find a way to get you into the sky when I become a pony!" He said. This time it was her who seemed surprised.

"You will? But how?"

"Well if I become a unicorn I'll find a spell that'll give you wings!"

"But what if you don't become a unicorn?"

"Well if I'm a pegsus, I'll find a spell that'll give you MY wings!" She gasped.

"But won't you miss them?"

"It'd be worth it to get you to fly with your sister."

"But what if-"

"If I'm an earth pony, I'll run all around Equestria, looking for a way to get you wings. So don't give up hope okay? And don't be scared. Otherwise you'll make me scared!" He said giving her the warmest smile he could. Finally she smiled back.

"You'll be scared anyway." She raised her hands above her head to make fake 'wooo' sounds. His smiled faded.

"Ha ha. Go to bed."

"Fine fraidy cat James!" She said sticking her tongue out at him. Before quietly making her way back to her room. Just before the door closed behind her, she turned back to him and whispered in the best spooky voice she could muster:

"Don't let the thing in the closet get you!" He responded by trying to splash her with some of his green tea. She giggled, ducking into the room long before he could even arch his arm back.

Feeling better then he had all day, he ditched the green tea, got an actual chocolate milk, before proceeding back into his own room for sleep.

But not before confirming that he didn't have a closet...

Tibits:

If you didn’t know, the 1408 thing is a joke about the movie with the same name. Also the Camera Obscura is a reference to the videogame Series “Fatal Frame”

Last of all, the human Twilight talks about having a similar conversation with during dinner is a reference to one of the Sidelines chapters again. Yeah, I kinda reference that one a lot...

Chapter 3: Inspired

"La! La! La la la La! Isn't that song cool!? I heard it from this thing the humans call a cartoon! It was about these little blue people, but oh I didn't finish the so-"

"Get ON with it Pinkie!" Came Twilight's voice over the loudspeaker. James looked around his room groggily. He had been in this room for a full night. Way more then an hour. He was safe. Not that he really expected anything to happen. Why did he even have to have SEEN that movie? This was all because his sister was such an fan of old films!

"Oh right! Sorry! Anyway the special for the cafeteria today is lasagna! And Veggie lasagna for you Pony folks! Oh! I love veggie lasagna! The humans do make some great foods! And their drinks! There is this stuff called 'Mountain Dew' but Twilight says I shouldn't drink any-"

"PINKIE!" Twilight's voice shouted again. This time James could hear Applejack's voice joining in. He smiled. This actually wasn't that bad a way to start the morning really. Looking around his room he could see where Spike had fallen asleep after their impromptu gaming night. It still kind of surprised him that Spike even had a 3DS. Given how old the system was.

According to Spike, one of the earlier ponified humans had brought it to pass time. When they left, they had apparently just left the system behind. It made sense. Not like they could use it anymore. Apparently this happened a lot, and because of it, Spike was able to get all sorts of neat little things for free.

"Oh right! Sorry! I'm just so happy today! (James was sure he wasn't the only person to think that Pinkie was probably happy EVERY day.) Last of all, could a Mr. Matthew Chambers come to the Ponification room? It's time to get ponified! Thank you ALL and have a super duper day!" The loudspeaker finally buzzed out. James actually found that fact to be rather sad. Listening to Pinkie Pie had been rather fun.

Before he had time to do anything else, a commotion sounded outside his door. Taking a peek, he found that he certainly wasn't alone in his hallway. Not by a long shot. Nearly every other door had cracked open to reveal people of all types and ages stealing their own peeks at the man strolling past them. Many cheering him as he went by.

James noted that Rose had only opened her door by a small crack. However, it widened when she noticed him. Smiling faintly, she gave him a quick wave. He winked to show he was okay and waved back. He wasn't sure why, but this seemed to make her happier.

Matthew on the other hand, for it had be him who was passing by, had just made his way to the end of the hall. He was a large man, almost resembling a lumberjack. Least to James' eyes he did.

The man had a full beard which matched the color of his hear perfectly. The guy was even wearing a red and black checkered shirt along with a pair of worn blue jeans. Even his boots were black! The man turned one last time to his fellow humans to wave, before disappearing.

Unable to help himself, he waited for the man to come back. Before long Spike had joined him, asking if he could ride on James' shoulders. To which he obliged and picked the little dragon up. They stood waiting for what seemed like a good fifteen minutes. (Which Spike informed him was usually how long these things took) Before they heard the tell tale sign of hooves clomping against the floor.

Slowly around the corner came a pony, seemingly trying to keep itself walking steadily. James could only imagine the difficulties of trying to learn how to walk on all fours when you were so use to doing it on two. The pony was unmistakably Matthew. While his coat was a pastel red, he had kept his black beard, which now matched a black mane. Upon his flank James could just make out a picture of a axe.

Huh... James thought to himself. The guy really HAD been a lumberjack. He thought for sure the look was a bit to obvious for that to be the truth. How about that? He kept his musings to himself of course. Content on watching the new pony make his way back to his room. But not before he asked him a question. He already knew the answer, but he still had to ask. So when he finally saw an opportunity to approach the pony. He took it.

"Hey uh...It still okay to call you Matthew?" He asked first. Thinking on it, he never really gave any thought before to how one went about getting a new name. Did they come up with one before hand? Did they mull over it afterward?

"That name will do fer now." Came Matthew's gruff reply. Even his voice gave off the distinction of lumberjack, though James couldn't quite place the accent.

"I reckon it'll take me a spell to come up with a new un. You wanting to know how it feels I gather? All the other folks do."

James nodded his head sheepishly. Matthew laughed. It was odd seeing a pony with a full beard laugh. Then again it was odd seeing a pony with a full beard...

"Don't go getting all embarrassed son! Shoot, I asked the same darn thing to a couple new foals meself. Don't hurt none. I can tell you that much. In fact I'd darn say I feel mighty good. Reckon better then I've ever felt! I bet my betsy you'll feel just the same son. Just relax. Ain't nutthing to be 'fraid of." He gave another laugh before trotting on by. James had a feeling that if the pony hadn't been so intent on not falling down, he'd have slapped his back with a hoof.

As James watched the new pony walk away he felt a shiver run up his spine, coupled with a small sense of dread. He brushed it off almost as quickly as it came. Guess there just wasn't any possibility of peace of mind for him. All the vouchers in the world saying he'd be fine still couldn't shake his uncertainty he supposed.

He never even noticed that Spike, among many of the humans, had felt the same shiver...

* * *

"No way man! Wind Waker was a far better game then Twilight Princess!" Spike was saying to James as he rode upon his shoulders while they walked. Upon asking if Spike had to get back to work, he had replied that he'd have a few more hours to spare. So he and James had decided to hang out a little while longer.

"What? Wind Waker was crap! How can you even SAY it's better then Twilight Princess!? I mean you can change into this awesome looking wolf! How is that not the coolest thing ever!?" James countered as they walked toward the gardens. It was a few hours after James had seen his first 'just ponified' pony. James' mind still mulling over the pony's reaction to having just become one. The new pony had said that it felt better then he had ever imagined it could. There clearly weren't any regrets in the pony's mind.

Rose had also talked to him a bit afterward. Telling him rather excitedly that her turn was coming REAL soon. She was absolutely overjoyed at that fact. James could only feel fear. That just meant one more person before him on the list had been removed...

Shortly after that , he and Spike had grabbed a quick breakfast before they decided to go check out the gardens. Spike being his personal guide. It wasn't long before the two had picked up their conversations from last night and had once more begun to prattle on about videogames. Which is how they found themselves in their current discussion.

"Okay yeah that was neat, but in Wind Waker it really felt like you had this entire world to explore! AND you were sailing! I've always wanted to go sailing but Twilight and I don't live by any bodies of water large enough..."

"Look Spike, your desire to sail aside, the world of Wind Waker was half assed! Yeah you've got all those islands, but only need to go to like what? Five? Besides sailing was the worst thing about the game! Hey let's just WATCH our character slowly move across the map for an hour before we finally get to play the game again!"

"But it was calming. Even Twilight thought so!"

"Twilight played a videogame!?" James exclaimed. Sure his interactions with her hadn't been many, but he just couldn't see that happening.

"Well no, she can't really use the controller unless she used her magic. But she saw me playing it, and told me so herself when I told her what I was doing!"

"I see. I still think the sailing is crap though."

"You're just pissy because of the graphics!"

James was about to argue further when a voice interrupted them both.

"Geeze you two! Not even Gilda and I ever argued THAT loudly!" It was a voice that James had never heard before, which told him that he was most likely about to meet yet another pony. Mainly because the voice came from above and he couldn't think of that many humans who could fly. He also figured it to be a girl, by the sounds of it.

With a quick look up he saw his theory confirmed catching the sight of a blue pegasus pony. Looking her over, she gave him the impression that she was a bit of a tomboy (tompony?) by the way she held herself. But that wasn't what really caught his eye. It wasn't even the fact that her mane and tail were literally the colors of a rainbow. What got him was the fact she appeared to be standing on a cloud...

"Sup Rainbow Dash!" Spike called up, "How are you managing to do that? I thought the clouds around here didn't work the same way they do in Equestria."

"Seems that enough magic has leaked out to allow this occasionally. They still don't last all that long though." As if to prove her point, the cloud suddenly stopped being solid under her hooves. Resulting in her sinking through it. Before the cloud could even reach half way up her legs though, she flapped her wings. Bringing her afloat once more.

"I'm surprised to see you out and about Spike. Twilight let you off her lease today?" Rainbow Dash quipped, drawing a glare from Spike.

"Ha ha, I happen to have the morning off. Besides I checked in with her before we came out here. Seems she was heading out on one of those walks she takes."

"What? That egghead! I told her it can be dangerous out there! She should at least let me scout the area for her!" Rainbow Dash looked annoyed, but James had a feeling that wasn't the full reason she was giving.

"Not just so you can get out of the center grounds for some flying?" James didn't miss the snark in Spike's voice. It was then he remembered who Rainbow Dash WAS.

Spike had actually told him about all of his friends last night. (Though he had prattled on entirely too long about Rarity, even despite the fact James actually had met her already...) This particular one supposedly was rarely seen NOT flying. Rainbow Dash, meanwhile had ignored him. She had the look about her as if to fly away before changing topics rather suddenly.

"Oh hay! You must be that human named James." Rainbow Dash suddenly called down to them, looking directly AT James. Seemed for the moment her need to go 'find' Twilight had been forgotten. James, on the other hand, was baffled. He hadn't realized his name had been getting around. Come to think of it. Why had his name gotten around!?

"Uh yes, but how do you know that?" He asked rather bluntly.

"Ehh, there aren't too many people around here who share the same interests as Spike, or who Twilight gets along with. All of us friends of her know of you by now." She didn't seem phased but the bluntness of his question at all. In fact while she was talking to him, she had flipped her body over as if to lay down in the very air. Though her wings were still flapping to keep her airborne, he wondered if it took her any effort for her to do that.

"Huh, guess I'm famous." He said before looking back up. She really did make flying look easy. He couldn't help but dream about doing that himself. Rising over the trees, whooshing through the clouds...

"Hey Uh Rainbow Dash?" James said slowly. He was still getting use to addressing ponies, and the fact this one could fly wasn't helping matters.

"Spike was telling me a bit about his friends last night, and I remember something he told me about you. Says you're the fastest thing I could ever hope to see!" At that Rainbow Dash perked up, suddenly standing (In the air somehow) at attention, and looking rather pleased with herself.

"Well I don't like to BRAG or anything. (James rolled his eyes at this as her tone was saying the exact opposite.) But I am rather awesome when it comes to speed!" As she said this she lifted one of her hooves in a way that allowed her to touch her chest with it. Frankly James was rather taken aback that a pony could DO such a thing. Course by this point he really shouldn't be surprised, these were 'magical' ponies after all...

"Hey Rainbow, why not give him a quick show? It's always better to see then to hear!" Spike said from his shoulder position. Rainbow nodded.

"Gotta agree with you there Spike! Hold on to your hats, because this is going to blow your mind!" She said before 'dashing' away.

James probably would have grabbed his hat had he been wearing one. The sheer speed and ability she was displaying was mind boggling. To think something so small could do all this! If it wasn't for the fact that she seemed to leave a bit of a rainbow trail behind her, he wasn't sure he'd even be able to keep up with what she was doing!

"Yes Yes, I'm amazing I know. I'm more then happy to sign autographs!" She said finally coming to stop in roughly the same spot she started. As she spoke she slowly drifted down the to ground to stand upon it.

"So James, what do you think of my amazing skills?" It was clear by her face that she was eagerly awaiting him to praise her.

"I'd say I'd give my left arm to see you race a blue hedgehog!" Came his reply. The look Rainbow gave them upon hearing that was priceless. Both him and Spike couldn't help but collapse in a fit of laughter.

"I don't get it." Rainbow was saying, clearly distressed that she wasn't in on the joke. "Hedgehogs aren't even blue! And how would I find one? I doubt even Fluttershy keeps any!"

"D-Don't worry about it!" James finally managed while fighting back laughter. Spike had managed to recover a lot quicker them him though.

"It's a gamer thing, you wouldn't get it." Rainbow finally got that it was a joke she simply had to learn too much about to get and dropped the subject.

"Okay fine, but seriously what did you think?"

"Honestly, I say if I become a pegasus pony, I'm going to have to beg you to teach me how to fly! That was the most coolest thing ever!" He exclaimed. The look of pride on Rainbow Dash's face couldn't have gotten any larger. Though to his surprise she seemed to be blushing.

"Well, I AM a good flyer. IIIIII suPOSE I could give you some lessons. IF you become a pegasus that is." James nodded. For the first time he actually wasn't feeling all that bad about his fate. Though he still wished he had been given a choice about it...

"Anyway, I really do think I should go find Twilight. I'm sure she's had enough 'alone time' by now. Besides, I could use a good flight around the city. It's too cramped in here." Rainbow said. He could see what she meant. He hadn't really been paying that much attention to them before, but the sky was littered with dozens of multicolored pegasus ponies, flying this way and that above them. He was surprised Rainbow Dash had even managed to pull off her aero stunts.

"See you around Dash," James said, his eyes catching sight of someone off in the distance, "There's someone I'd like to say hello to myself." Rainbow followed his gaze to see Rose off in the distance who was riding another one of the magical ponies. This one was a pleasant pink in coat and sported a fiery red mane.

"Oh you know Rose?" She said simply. James' eyebrows raised.

"You know her?" Dash shook her head.

"Not really, but I know the pony she's with. You may have noticed that she's a pegasus. I had to teach her how to fly." James actually hadn't noticed, but now that it had been pointed out to him he could see the wings tucked just under Rose's legs. Could this be the sister he had kept hearing about? He also wondered if Rose had ever ridden this pegasus or another, while they were in flight? Despite how much Rose wanted to be a pegasus, he couldn't quite picture her doing that though.

"Wing Berry, that's her name, is actually rather well known with the little kids who come here. It's why she stays here, ya know to help with them. Though right now she hasn't done much else other then hang with her sister Rose there. But I guess you can't really blame her. Anyway, I'm out. See you around guys!" With that Rainbow was off, zipping out of sight before either of them could even wave goodbye.

"Dang, doesn't stick around long does she?" He said to Spike. Spike nodded.

"Yeah, she's kinda like that. You'll get use to it." He replied. James nodded back as he made his way over to where Rose was with her sister. He was glad for Rainbow unintentionally answering his questions. Not only did he get confirmation on Wing Berry being Rose's sister, But she had also told him just why Rose's sister was still at the center, even after becoming a pony.

"James! James! Over here!" Rose began to shout the second she noticed them coming. She began to wave frantically with her one free arm, the other clutching her stuffed panda. She began to wave so frantically in fact that it nearly made her fall off her perch. He couldn't help but laugh a the display. Didn't she realize that's why he was walking toward them in the first place? Once he got close enough to make out some more details, he noticed that Rose's sister already had her cutie mark as well. It was a picture of three strawberries set in a type of pyramid design.

He knew that a cutie mark meant that particular pony had found the task they were best suited for. But what did that mean for her? Wing Berry was best suited to growing Strawberries? Somehow he would have thought she'd be an earth pony for that...

"Hiya Rose, how are you doing?" Spike called from behind James. Rose looked startled for all of a second before she noticed him on James' shoulders.

"Oh hello Mr. Dragon! I'm fine today how about you?" James couldn't help but whisper to Spike about that.

"Mr. Dragon?" Spike sighed before whispering back.

"I've TOLD her to call me Spike, but she keeps going back to Mr. Dragon. I've pretty much given up." James' lips cracked into a smile.

"I'm doing well, are you enjoying some playtime with your sister here?" Spike responded to Rose after the whispered exchange.

"Oh yes! My sis says that as a special treat for today. She's going to take me out for ice cream later!"

"Well that sounds pretty awesome. What's the occasion?" James being the one to ask the question this time. Glad that Rose was having a good time. Every other time he had talked to her she had been frightened for the duration. So he was rather enjoying this rare moment of her being bold.

"Why it's only the best thing that could happen!" Wing Berry said in a voice that sounded like honey. Making him easily see why the kids would like her. Her personality just seemed to have that spin to it, "Tomorrow is my little sister's turn! So I wanted to celebrate a bit early. Oh dear me! I've forgotten to introduce myself! The name is Wing Berry. I must thank you for being such a friend to Rose here!"

"Uh well, I'm not sure how much of a friend I've been. We've only really talked on a couple of separate occasions..." He said a bit nervously. He wasn't really use to being thanked for such things.

"Oh no! You've been a bigger help then you realize! Why she'd do nothing all morning but talk about you! Seems you promised to help her with something mighty big, though she won't tell me what it is!" This caused Rose to blush.

"S-sis!" She said trying to hide her face with her hands.

"Oh dear! There I go blabbing away again! Oh my friend Shimmer Stardust is always telling me I need to watch what I say! You just never mind little old me."

"It's okay Rose. I meant what I said. Believe it or not you've actually helped me too!" James said as he tried to mimic Twilights way of speaking to her again. He still didn't think he was pulling it off correctly. Though it did seem to work well enough, causing her to peek her face out from behind her hands.

"I... I helped you?" She said in a whisper. James nodded warmly.

"You did. Our talk last night really helped me calm down!" He gave her another smile which she returned. Which seconds later took on a more mischievous nature to it.

"Still think I'm a ghost?"

"Shut up!" He said trying to ignore the questioning eyes of Spike, who had leaned forward at that. His reaction caused Rose to giggle, nearly causing her to drop Bamboo. He half wondered how she was holding on to him and still remaining on ponyback. Especially with how much she kept moving about.

"Will... will you be watching me tomorrow?" She asked changing the topic rather suddenly. She was holding Bamboo tightly to her chest with one arm as she asked this. Her gaze seemingly on the ground.

He was unable to help but marvel at just how adorable she looked like that. It made him long a bit for his own sister. Even if she was his older sister. (He rather liked the almost 'older brother' feel he was getting with Rose) It'd still be nice to have someone familiar to see him through the process. The thought made him cringe mentally for a moment. Was that how his sister had felt?

That though aside, he just couldn't imagine letting Rose go through this alone. Even though he knew her sister would be right there waiting for her as well, there was just no way he could say no.

"Sure it's a promise! You can bet I'll be one of the first to greet your new pony form!" He said while sticking his chest out. Rose beamed at his response.

"Yay!" She said throwing up her arms in cheer. Both James and Wing Berry couldn't help but join in. Even Spike gave a quick cheer.

"Say, we were on our way to meet my friend Fluttershy. Ya wanna come?" She asked, back to the energetic version of her from earlier. It was a lot of fun seeing her like that.

"Oh you know Fluttershy too?" Spike called. By this point James wasn't surprised about who Spike knew. Vague memories of Spike talking about that pony as well during their conversations last night, coming to his mind.

"Sorta, I only met her yesterday, but I like her." Came Rose's reply.

"Well I think it's time for me to join the ranks of those who know Fluttershy. That fine by you Spike?" James asked trying unsuccessfully to turn his head toward the little dragon. It was pretty hard to look at someone who's riding on your shoulders.

"Heck no problems here, besides, it'd be rude to turn down an invitation given by lady Rose!" Rose blushed at Spike's compliment. With a laugh the group was soon on their way, Wing Berry and Rose idly chatting to themselves. Spike had fallen into silence for a bit, for whatever reason. It didn't bother James as it allowed the thing that had been clawing at the back of his mind to finally come to the forefront.

He had been fighting the feeling of shock ever since Wing Berry had mentioned that tomorrow was Rose's day. That meant this was the last day she was ever going to spend as a human.

The thought hit him hard. He hadn't really known too many people who got ponified, or at least those that he had personally seen directly afterward.

Sure he had a few friends who had gone through the process, as well as his family, but most of them became so busy after becoming ponies that the best he had been able to do to was communicate with them via holo-phone.

While it was weird to see a pony talking to him instead of his mom, dad, sister, or even his best bud from high school. It wasn't like he was THERE to see them personally. A holograph of a person wasn't exactly the same thing in his mind.

They had all begged him to join them of course, and he had felt terrible each time he had declined the offer to attend. But he was just never able to work up the nerve to go. The ponification camps scared him. They STILL scared him. Everything in this place had been scaring him just about since he had arrived.

It was why he was so glad he had met people like Rose, Spike, and Twilight. They had given him the strength he needed to stay and go through with this. Rose especially after the talk they had last night.

He mentally sent up a silent prayer that she became a pegasus.

"James Hey! Equestria to James! Come in James!" Spike had been saying. Making James realize just how deep into thought he had let himself fall.

"We're on EARTH Spike. That should be earth to me. Now what is it anyway?" He had half expected Spike to comment about his correction, but instead Spike seemed to be bothered by something.

"Just to warn you... You remember what I said about Fluttershy right?"

* * *

James actually HAD forgotten what Spike had said about Fluttershy until he had brought it up. So the meeting with said pegasus pony went about as well as anyone who knew her would expect.

James had tried to introduce himself, only to have her shy away from him, driving it rather painfully home, just why she had 'shy' in her name.

In the end he took to saying as little as possible to her, as not to frighten the poor thing. While she did seem to warm up to him little by little, he had been wanting an excuse to talk to Wing Berry anyway. So when both Spike and Rose had become so engrossed in talking to Fluttershy about a baby bunny she had found, he took his chance. It turned out she had wanted to talk with him as well.

"So, you think she'll be fine tomorrow?" He asked, while watching Rose. It was strange how someone you had just met, could have such an impact on your life.

When he had woken up last night, even with his condition, he had been seriously contemplating leaving the center and the ponification behind.

But Rose had stopped him. Her talk had given him the resolve to go through with it all. There would be many times after, where he'd wonder what may have been had she never engaged him in that conversation.

"Oh I'm sure she'll be fine. She's a lot stronger then she thinks. But still... I'm worried."

"Well that's only natural." He said with a shrug. "I was worried about my sister, and she's like six years older then me." But Wing Berry shook her head.

"It's not just that. I'm worried her dream won't come true. I've told her I won't mind any sort of pony she becomes, but still..." He could see in her eyes that she was worried. Up until that point he hadn't realized just how serious Rose must be to become a Pegasus.

"I think you know which one she wants to become, but did she tell you why?" She asked turning her head toward him. He nodded his head only slightly.

"I might. She said it was because you were a pegasus, and she wanted to be able to fly with you." She nodded at this.

"Well that is part of it. But it's not the full reason. The real reason is that she just wants to fly period."

"But, can't you just take her up right now? As you are?" She shook her head sadly.

"She wants to fly on her own. Without anypony's help. She tries to be so brave sometimes and say that she'll be okay if she doesn't become a pegasus pony, but well... I know better. Some of the questions she's asked. The way she looks when she gazes up at that sky..." Wing Berry stopped to gaze up at the sky herself, almost looking as if she was about to take off into it. But she held her ground, tearing her eyes away from the vast blueness.

"I really do have to thank you, you know." She said before he had a chance to say anything himself.

"For promising her that thing?" She nodded once more.

"While I still don't know what it was you promised, no don't tell me, I can tell you that the simple fact you made the promise meant a lot to her. I don't think she really expects you to go through with it, but I know she's glad you cared enough to offer."

James remained quiet. He really couldn't think of anything to say to that. He had meant what he said though.

If he could find a way to help her fly he'd do it. It was just the way he was. In a way the promise to Rose was a promise to himself. That he'd see his own way through this.

His thoughts drifted back to his bag, and what lay in it. He had to see his way through this...

"Rose!" Wing Berry suddenly called, causing all present to look her way. In a few moments more, Rose had bounded over to her sister.

"Time to go?" She asked looking disappointed. Wing Berry nodded sadly.

"I'm afraid so. I've got to get back to work, but I'll be off to take you for that ice cream! You can bet on that!"

Rose smiled, but she still looked sad.

"So, want a ride back?" Wing Berry asked, turning her backside toward her sister while keeping her head and face still looking at Rose. James actually felt a bit envious at the ability to do that. Guess that was another pro to becoming a pony he could look forward to.

"Actually, I'd like to walk back with James, if that's okay..." Rose replied shyly. James wondered who was really related here. Rose and Wing Berry, or Rose and Fluttershy.

"I don't mind if he doesn't," Came Wing Berry's reply. Somehow she didn't seem to shocked at this. Though James certainly did. Why would she want to walk back with him?

"Heck you can even stay a while longer if he's with you. Whadda say James? Will you protect my sister like a true knight?" The smile in her eyes was unmistakable.

"I-I don't know about a knight, but I'll definitely watch over her!" He said with a stammer. He was getting awfully tired of everyone poking fun at him...

"Great! See ya later sis!" Wing Berry said before taking to they sky. James noticed Rose watching her with longing. He hoped his prayer for her was heard...

"So, what do you want to do? Did you want to stay and chat a bit more?" He asked, but Rose shook her head.

"Actually I think Fluttershy is about to leave as well. It's time for the feeding right?" She said turning back toward the yellow pegasus pony. Fluttershy nodded.

"Oh yes!" Fluttershy said in the most 'un-shy' voice he had heard her speak in the entire time. Though her voice was still very soft and withdrawn. He was beginning to wonder if she was even capable of speaking louder.

"It'll be lunch time soon and I simply must get the food ready for all the animals." She went on. It seemed the only time she wasn't completely wary around other people was when animals were involved.

They said their goodbyes and began to head toward the center. James figured since it was so close to lunch, and Spike probably had some work to do anyway, they should go ahead and get back to the center anyway. Spike of course, wasn't too thrilled to end the fun, but admitted that if he wanted any shot at getting the game stuff set up back in Equestria, he had to keep up with his duties.

Rose, on the other hand, remained quiet for the entire trip. While he had a feeling she had wanted to say something to him, he figured since Spike was riding on his shoulders, she probably wouldn't say it until he was out of ear shot.

Once they had finally made their way back to the receptionist desk in the center and dropped off Spike, did Rose confirm his suspicions. Sure enough, soon as they were alone in the hallway, she whispered up to him.

"I'll tell you now" He was confused at what she meant and told her as much, causing her to elaborate.

"My nightmare. I-I'll tell you now... if you want..." Her voice was such a perfect imitation of Fluttershy's just then that it wasn't funny.

"Only if you want to." He replied quietly.

"I do."

"Then I promise to listen." She nodded and lead him off to a side area where it was less likely for anyone to bother them, before she continued.

"I-I was a pony. In the nightmare I mean. I dunno what type, but I was one. I was high. Real high. I jumped so I could fly but..."

"You couldn't?" James guessed. She flinched, but nodded. He regretted speaking the end of the dream out loud, but had been unable to stop himself.

"You know it was just a dream. You'll fly. I meant it when I said I'd help you." His face had taken on a look of determination. This little girl was going to face something he himself wanted to run screaming in the other direction from. He'd move mountains if it meant helping her.

"I-I know. I'm just..." She clutched Bamboo tightly to her chest again. Sometimes he wondered if she'd pop the poor things stuffed head off.

"I'm scared too." He said. Guessing her reason. "I'm very scared, but thanks to you, I'm ready to become a pony." She looked up wide eyed.

"Me?" She squeaked. He nodded.

"You inspire me Rose. You have such a beautiful dream. It makes me want to help you, and because of that I'm ready." He watched as her mouth slowly broke into a shy smile.

"You'll make a great pony" She said.

"And you'll make a lovely pegasus. Don't doubt yourself." She nodded before she ran off to her room. As he watched her go, he couldn't help but want to do just a little bit more for her. This was going to be her last day as a human after all, and he didn't want her facing the process tomorrow doubting her dream. But just how would he...

A sudden idea cut his thought short. It'd take a bit of alteration, and some major planning. But it could work. It could definitely work. He'd have to ask a favor of a certain pony though...

It was just after lunch as James stood outside the room Twilight used to give her speech to all the new volunteers who had come to be ponified. Twilight had just finished up her latest seminar. He moved to one side as the group began to leave the room. Patiently, he waited for each and everyone of them to leave, before entering the room himself. before Twilight had a chance to leave herself. She was understandably surprised to see him.

"James? Is there something wrong? What brings you here?" She asked. His hand went to the back of his head again. Recreating the nervous pose he had used before.

"Well..."He said shyly, "I was wondering if you could help me with something..."

Tibits:

The song Pinkie Pie is singing is the song the Smurfs sing.

I have no idea why I have the Lumberjack Pony talk like that. It just kinda happened...

‘The Blue Hedgehog’ comment. Obviously James wants to see Rainbow Dash race Sonic the Hedgehog. Heck I want to see that!

Yes “Shimmer Stardust” is the same pony as mentioned in Sidelines. Did I mention I REALLY love that story?

Chapter 4: Rose

"Will this work?" Twilight asked while showing him a small lot that looked like it had been meant for private parking. After James had told Twilight his plan, she had enlisted the aid of Spike before all three of them had began looking for a spot to host it. Wing Berry was in charge of making sure Rose made it there when they were ready.

"We converted this center from an old clinic. This was apparently where the hospital higher ups would park their cars. Obviously, now that the place is run by us ponies, there is no need for it as we don't drive cars."

She waved a hoof around the area. It was actually a rather well placed spot. The lot was surrounded by three walls belonging to a section of the center. Making it look like a square chunk had been cut out of the building before people built new walls around the cut. It was also away from the gardens, it's one open side facing a small field, meaning that not too many people came this way anymore. The road leading up to the place having long been run down due to disuse. He vaguely wondered just how old the original clinic was.

"This'll work perfectly!" He said giving it one last look over before reaching into his bag. Fishing around for a bit, he brought out what he considered his second most valued possession: A holocomputer. They had actually lost a good ten minutes of time with Spike when James had begun to talk of his plan just because of this little device. Spike wanting to hear all about it before they could move on.

Holocomputers were small little circular devices that resembled, what James had read in history class, things people called 'portable CD players' way back in the day.

Instead of playing music though, this thing would display, not ONLY a holographic High Res screen, but a state of the art, 'touch' capable holographic keyboard in which order to type with. (Actually you just pressed your fingers to thin air, but the computer could read the positioning and access the proper keys as you 'pressed' them. It took quite a bit of practice to get use to.)

The thing was actually one of the last things humans had created in the name of 'science' before the whole pony craze had begun. Production and upgrades for the devices had stopped soon afterward when most in charge of such tasks realized they simply wouldn't need such things anymore when they became ponies. Therefore only two types of people tended to have one of these. The incredibly rich, or the incredibly lucky. James was the latter.

"So that's the song you plan to play?" Spike asked as he watched James bring up the file on screen. As all media players did now a days, it displayed many of the song's details. Including the full lyrics.

"Yep, I just hope she likes it."

"Well I doubt she's going to enjoy the beginning part. The boy reaches out? You know that she's a girl right?"

"Ha ha," James said typing away at the computer, "That's where a little bit of human magic is called for!" Activating a particular program. He changed all lyrics referring to a 'boy' and changed them to 'girl' along with any other problem lines. The program analyzed the new words, then analyzed the voice. It would process this and then make the appropriate corrections. When it was all done, the song would play with the new lyrics added in, altering even the voice so it sounded like the original singer was singing the new lyrics. Playing it back just to make sure, James was pleased to find it had done the job perfectly.

"Wow that's amazing! You humans think up the neatest things!" Spike said marveling at what the program had just done.

"Thanks, but we've still got stuff to do. This'll run the program fine, but I still need to boost the sound. I also wish I had a microphone or two..."

"HERE you are!" Shouted a peppy voice out of no where. He recognized that voice...

Turning toward it, they saw Pinkie Pie trotting up while hauling a cart carrying some large speakers, a sub-woofer, and even a few microphones. The equipment was pretty old, but it looked like it would have no problems doing the job he needed.

"Oh! Oh! I didn't tell anyone about this so the news wouldn't reach and frighten her, but I can't WAIT to see the look on Rose's face when she gets here! Putting on a concert for her should be as much fun as throwing a party!" Pinkie Pie was saying while jumping up and down.

"Awesome. Thanks for the equipment and thanks for not spreading the word around. I hate to think what Rose would do if there was a crowd for this." He said nodding before, "Oh and can I ask you a question?"

"Of coursy soon to be horsey!" She said happily her eyes wide and staring right at him. He took a deep breath.

"How in the WORLD do you know what we are doing!? Only people...ponies... Dragons... Whatever! Only ones I told were Twilight and Spike and they've been with me the entire time! Not even Wild Berry knows exactly what we're doing! So...so.. What the hay!?" His arms had been flailing around the entire time he had been speaking. Pinkie Pie just gave him the biggest smile in response.

"Why that's simple! My Pinkie Senses told me!"

"Pinkie Senses?" He asked. Twilight was quick to interject.

"Ugh, trust me James you don't want to get into that."

"Uh... if you say so..." James said feeling uneasy about the look Twilight had on her face. In the end he decided to just keep his mouth shut and begin setting everything up.

It didn't take them long to do so. Once they had everything plugged up correctly, a few quick sound tests and they were ready for Showtime! He didn't know how exactly, but Twilight had used her magic to take care of signaling Wing Berry.

"So why did she choose Wing Berry as her name anyway, do you know?" He asked Spike as they waited for Rose to get there. Before Spike could even move his lips, they were interrupted by the pink 'poof' again as she seemed to pop up directly between them at that exact moment. James took pride in managing not to leap out of his seat this time.

"Oh! Oh! I know! It's because she's so sweet to the children, and she likes strawberries, and she had wings! So she wanted to call herself 'The winged strawberry!" Oh but that was too long, so she went with Wing Berry! And since she liked strawberries so much, that's what made her cutie mark!" She said giving James that overly excited look of hers.

"Yeah I doubt that's what it was." Spike said finally. James had to agree. Pinkie Pie didn't seem to mind their disbelief in the least though.

"So are you going to be all DJ like Scratch? Huh huh?" James wanted to mention that he had no idea who Scratch WAS but she had kept going, "Can I be the DJ? Huh? Huh? Huh? I'll be all DJ Pon Pinkie!" She clapped her front hooves together as if they were hands.

The expression James gave her was as deadpan as one could get.

"Yeah... There is no way in hell you are touching this computer."

"Okie Dokie Loki!" She said bounding away. James could only stair in a stumped stupor after her.

"Does she EVER have any other emotion?"

"Even Twilight wouldn't attempt to research THAT." Spike replied.

"Here we are!" Wing Berry said at that moment, a rather jittery Rose riding upon her back. Upon seeing James, Twilight, and Spike she began to wave in the same manner he had seen her do that morning. Once more almost falling over due to her trying to do this while still holding Bamboo.

"I'm here! I'm here!" She called! Impatiently waiting for her sister to stop so she could get off. She paused only long enough to hand Wing Berry the panda.

"You'll take good care of Bamboo right?" Wing Berry laughed.

"Of course sis, now go see what it is James has for you!" Rose nodded and rushed over to where James was sitting with Twilight and Spike. Pinkie Pie had gone off to the side to stay out of the way. Munching on a big bucket of popcorn as she did. James decided it wasn't worth asking where she had gotten it.

"What is it!? What is it!?" She said bouncing up and down just like Pinkie Pie would. It was weird how many unintentional impressions she could do of the ponies...

"My dear lady Rose," James began handing her a microphone, before picking up a second one afterward. "In honor of your last day as a human I wanted to teach you a song that I think represents your dream very well. Sing it whenever you feel in doubt, and always remember that all of us are here to help you achieve it!"

Twilight was quite impressed with how James was pulling all this off. Despite it being obvious that he had been having his own second thoughts about the ponification process, he was going out of his way to make this little girl feel ready. Twilight oddly found herself hoping he'd become a unicorn pony. She just had a feeling he'd be well suited to the magic one could wield.

"And to help you sing this song. Our very own Twilight Sparkle!" James said setting the microphone upon a little stand in front of the purple unicorn pony. Twilight hadn't really been listening that well, so it took her a few seconds to register what he had just said.

"Wait, WHAT!?" She exclaimed backing up. "Why me!?"

"Well the song is sung by a girl. I can't sing it. I'm a boy. So is Spike, so that leaves only you."

"What? How is that logical. Pinkie Pie is over there and so is Wing Berry who are both girls as well! Besides, Pinkie Pie loves to sing!" Twilight said in her 'lecturing' voice. Pinkie Pie just shook her head at that.

"Oh No no no no no! I can't sing it Twilight! I can only sing my OWN songs. That means it's up to YOU to sing this one!" Twilight just stared at Pinkie Blankly.

"How does that even make sense?! Fine Wing Berry is Rose's sister, so she can-" Twilight didn't get to finish when Wing Berry's voice drifted over from the side lines.

"I can't do it, I'm taking care of Bamboo!" She said with a smirk. Twilight's eye twitched.

"You both are TRAITORS!" She shouted. It was at this point that Rose played her own card.

"P-please Twilight? I'd like it if you sang with me..." Twilight looked down into those big blue pleading eyes. This entire thing reminded her of the young filly Applebloom, and her first time in Ponyville just a little too much. Slumping her shoulders in defeat like she had that time, she gave her answer:

"...Fine" Rose cheered, while the rest gave knowing smirks. Twilight made a mental note to hurt them all later.

"So what do I do?" She said plopping down in front of the microphone James had set up.

"It's simple. I'll start the song, and the words will appear on the screen coming from the right side like this." James demonstrated how the words would scroll, and how they should sing them as they passed the center line. Once he was certain both Twilight and Rose understood. He began the song. The sound of a guitar blazed into life, played in such a way as to confirm it's pop song style.

Everyone could hear the female singer softly sing the word 'Amazing' Before the lyrics began to appear from the right, Twilight and Rose quickly trying to break into song at the proper cue.

As the first lines blazed from the speaker, both of them began to sing. Though neither were able to match the pitch quite right, and both had to stumble over a couple of words in order to match up with the song's timing and rhythm.

I wanna find it

What I've been searching

Despite Twilight's aversion to singing it, she tried her best to match the vocal pitch of the singer. Rose following suit. The next line they sang sounded a bit better then the first, but it was clear they still hadn't gotten the rhythm of the song just yet.

The Girl reaches out to the sky

James had to smile as Rose actually reached her hand out into they sky as she sang that line. He had a feeling she'd get into it like that. He was also glad the program didn't glitch, as that was one of the lines he had to alter the original lyrics to.

She prays she'll get it

No doubt she'll make it

James could see both Rose and Twilight really begin to get into it now, their voices matching the pitch almost perfectly. It had been a cruel joke to toss Twilight into this like that, but Spike had been telling him of her 'habits' and both had figured she could stand to have a little fun.

All of her goals and desires....

Twilight didn't want to admit it, but she was having fun. After all the work she had to do around here, she supposed it was worth taking a break every now and then for something other then just one of her walks...

She also couldn't help but want to cheer this small girl on. Sure she had seen a ton of human children come through here. But was glad that for once, she was making a bigger difference for this one, then she ever had a chance to before.

The sky above you! Is waiting for you!

To take the first step and break out!

Once the next verse of the song began to play, both her and Rose were in full singer mode. Their voices matching the flow and pitch perfectly. Rose had even begun to dance to the best of her ability. As they sang on, their voices merged into one, ringing out across the area like thunder.

When you fly in the sky!

Simply Divine!

You're Dreaming!

Leave your worries behind!

Cuz' that's Imagination!

Can you feel it tonight?

The fire inside?

It's Burning!

All you got to do is break on through!

To make your wishes all come true!

Amazing!!!

It was quite a sight seeing both Twilight and Rose dance around in their little area while singing. Any notions of the 'reasons' given by others on why they couldn't sing must have been forgotten by Twilight since at this moment, the other four watching had decided to join in themselves, without her even seeming to notice.

Little did they realize the small crowd of other ponies and humans that had slowly begun to gather at the one open end of the lot. All having heard the impromptu show that was being performed...

So you might be hurting

Down low your feeling

Have faith within all, will be okay!

That sky above you!

She'll always save you!

So never give up on yourself!

When you fly in the sky!

Simply divine!

You're dreaming!

Leave your worries behind!

Cuz' that's Imagination!

Can you feel it tonight?

The fire inside?

It's burning!

All you got to do is break on through!

To make your wishes all come true!

Amazing!!!

None except Pinkie Pie, had been ready for it, but an entire crowd had formed around the small band of performers when the next line of the song began. Behind them, being projected on the wall, were the lyrics for all to see. In which the entire assembly decided to join in on, startling those singing. Both Rose and Twilight looked a bit embarrassed. (Meanwhile James was trying to figure out how Pinkie Pie had managed to get his computer to DO that, as he could tell by her smug expression it HAD to be her) But both quickly got over it, joining back in with a smile.

Rose kept on going. Lost in the wonder of it all. Over head, Rainbow Dash had somehow convinced a small group of pegasai ponies to begin pulling off tricks.

Nearly all the voices in the crowd sang out as one:

Anyday!

Anytime!

You can reach out to the sky!

Spread your wings!

Catch that light!

Say it now!

"I'm gonna be Myself!"

I know you'll make it!

No doubt you'll make it!

Be a little brave now!

It's time to take on

Your Dream!

When you fly in the sky...

You're dreaming!

Leave your worries behind!

Cuz' that's Imagination!

Can you feel it tonight?

The fire inside?

It's Burning!

All you gotta do is break on through!

To make your wishes all come true!

Amazing!!!

Amazing....

Upon the songs completion, the crowd broke out into a large cheer. Now that the excitement of the moment had worn off a little, the embarrassment Rose and Twilight had brushed off earlier caught back up with them. They were good sports however, and gave their bows. James walked up to them both after that, pleased to see they were having fun.

"So, you up for another song? Seems a shame to end the party so soon." He said pointing to the crowd who seemed eager for more music. Twilight just shook her head in awe.

"I suppose we have no choice. But this time YOU are going to sing it!"

* * *

Just over an hour later, James decided that enough was enough, and shut the party down. The entire time Pinkie Pie had somehow managed to produce not only snacks such as cupcakes, cookies, and various other candies. But all sorts of drinks, party hats, and even a balloon for each and every pony and/or person there. One quick look from Twilight though, told James this was another one of those things he didn't want to know about.

Rose had spent the entire thing having a blast, and as soon as the show was over she had asked if she could get her a copy of the first song of the show. Thankfully for James, she had a thumb audio player and was able to connect to his holocomputer wirelessly to receive the file upon it. Soon, everyone and pony else were leaving, with Rose's older sister, Wing Berry, waiting for her off to one side. Before the girl ran off to join her, she pulled James aside for one last conversation.

"Thank you James. I know I'm going to fly now! Even if I don't become a pegasus, I'm sure I'll find a way! So promise me you'll come with me! When we are both ponies, you'll come with me instead of on your own. Promise!" She looked more serious about this then James had seen her look about anything before. With a nod, he extended his hand to her.

"You have my word Lady Rose, and that is something I shall never break!" She smiled as she took his hand and shook it.

Nothing more was said as nothing more was needed. Rose waved goodbye before she ran off to her sister. More ready for tomorrow then she ever had...

"Wait a minute Pinkie! You were singing that song from that cartoon on the loud speaker just this morning! That wasn't your song!" James heard Twilight scream suddenly. The timing and tone was just to perfect, and he found himself on the floor laughing.

Tidbits:

The song is a modified version of the opening song for Grandia 3. “In the Sky” English Version of course.

Bamboo is actually based on a stuffed panda I own myself. Er... somewhere in my closet...

Actually Pinkie Pie is dead on (Mostly) about why Wing Berry is called as she is, and has that as a cutie mark. She never wanted to call herself “The Winged Strawberry” though...

Holo-Computers. I honestly can see this sorta thing happening in the future.

No even I don’t know where Pinkie Pie got all that stuff, and I don’t intend to ask her...

Chapter 5: Confiding

It was later that night as James typed away at the keyboard of his holocomputer. He had tried to get some sleep, but it had become painfully apparent that it just wasn't going to happen any time soon. It was funny. He wasn't even the one GETTING ponified tomorrow morning, and yet he still couldn't calm himself down. James couldn't even imagine how Rose herself might be feeling. He only hoped she was actually asleep and not lounging awake all night like he was.

Well there was nothing anyone could do about it all now. She'd find what she'd become tomorrow. Just like he'd eventually find out what he'd become later this week.

What he'd become...

"Knock Knock." Came a soft voice from outside his door before it slowly pushed open to reveal Twilight Sparkle. James found it rather cute that she had her eyes closed.

"I'm sorry to intrude, but I happened to be out and about and saw you were up. Are you decent?" He chuckled.

"Yeah I'm decent. You can come in too by the way." She seemed to blush a bit at her lack of composer, before trotting in. Letting the door swing shut behind her.

"I wanted to thank you for earlier." She said. James couldn't help but raise a teasing eyebrow.

"Oh? I figured you'd want to kill me after I got you to sing like that." She coughed.

"Well yes that was rather sudden, but I do have to admit that it was quite fun." She smiled, remembering all the times her friends would drag her out of the library back at home in order to 'make' her have fun. She supposed this time wasn't any different from those.

"Well I'm glad to hear you don't hate me. I'm sure Rose is thankful for your help to. Have you spoken with her yet?" Twilight shook her head.

"I can do that tomorrow morning. We're all ready for her in Ponification. Oh I so do hope she becomes a pegasus. I almost thought about trying to use my magic to try and make it happen. No telling what THAT might have done." James shuddered.

"Yeah I'm kinda glad you talked yourself out of that. I also don't doubt that Rarity would have a fit if she had heard that." Twilight grimaced at the thought.

"I don't even want to think about it. She's very vocal about how she wants things run in there..."

Silence fell between them for several minutes after that. It was Twilight who finally broke it.

"So what are you doing up this late anyway?" James grinned at her question

"Well I suppose I could ask you the same question. Or do you usually go for walks at-" He checked the computer clock. "One in the morning? Is it really that late?"

He attempted to pull out and open his cell phone, only to have the thing fall out of his hands and bounce across the bed. Just before it could drop onto the floor however, Twilight's magic caught it and lifted it back to his hands.

While he had seen her perform magic many times now, this was the first time he was about to actually touch something she had been moving. As he plucked it from it's spot in mid air, he could swear he felt a tingle go up his arms. James chalked it up the late hour and his own imagination.

"I doubt I'll ever get use to that..." He said, the previous conversation forgotten. Twilight didn't pursue it.

"Well being you'll be living in Equestria for a while with a lot of other unicorn ponies, I'd say you'd have to get use to it eventually." She gave him a grin, "Besides, there is still a good chance you'll be a unicorn stallion yourself!"

James' eyes took a bit of a dreamy glaze to them at that thought.

"To be able to use magic... I suppose Rainbow Dash would be disappointed though. I told her I'd beg her to teach me to fly if I became a pegasus."

"Ouch, she WILL be disappointed. She loves to teach new foals how to fly." Then noticing the guilty look that came upon James' face she added: "But she'll get over it once one of the other new pegasus foals ask her. She always does."

"Well, I guess I can't do anything till I've transformed anyway..." He said leaning his back against the wall. The curiosity of what he'd become was actually beginning to get to him. A small part of him was even looking forward to becoming a pony. Yet he still couldn't ignore the other much LARGER part...

Still, it's a start... He thought to himself. If he was able to keep thoughts like that up, he should finally be able to get over this anxiety he'd been feeling. Or so he hoped.

Almost as if that was a cue, his headache flared up at that moment. Grabbing his head, he blindly reached next to him for his bag. Trying in vain to find the Tylenol he kept there.

"Are you alright? What's going on? What should I do?" He heard Twilight call out in a panic. If he hadn't been in so much pain he would have found it cute.

"I'll be fine. It's just a headache. Been getting them a lot lately. I Just need to wait for the worst of it to pass. Though if possible, I could use a drink to wash these pills down with." He had finally managed to find the said pills and had been dumping a few tablets into his open palm while saying that. Twilight still seemed a bit panicked but quickly came to her senses.

"Right, something to drink. Oh cupcakes! If only I had brought my saddles! I'm sure I had some cider in there! Isn't there a vending machine out here?" James heard her say as she left the room.

Cupcakes? He thought as he watched her go. What kind of expression was that? He had a feeling it wasn't her who got her saying that, but one of her friends. He had similar things happen with him and his friends after all...

Before he had a chance to follow that thought any further though, Twilight came trotting back in. Levitating a bottle of Apple Juice with her horn as she did so. With another push of her magic, the bottle quickly floated across the room to him.

"There wasn't any water in the vending machine, just soda mostly, but I read it's not good to take medicine with that. I think apple juice is okay, but I can't recall exactly. Oh why didn't I read more books on this?"

"Twilight, it's fine! It's fine!" James said as he took the bottle of juice. His voice was a mixture of laughter due to the situation, and pain due to his headache. But at this point he was use to latter.

With few quick motions he had popped the pills into his mouth and swallowed them with the aid of the apple juice. The effects were instant, nearly eliminating his headache completely. He could still feel a dull buzzing like pain around the area, but he had long since gotten use to that.

"It's amazing how fast these things work today." He said while putting the rest of the Tylenol away. "I remember my grand dad telling me how it could take an hour just for it to kick in..." Twilight didn't respond though. Instead opting to hook on to something he had said earlier.

"You said you've been getting those a lot lately. Do you know why?"

James fell silent. Try as he might, he couldn't think of any way out of this conversation. So finally, he gave up. He still didn't want to talk about it. But after everything that had happened today, he felt he owed her.

With a defeated sigh, he began to speak.

"You remember when you asked me if I wanted to be a pony?" He said first. His eyes fixed on the holo keyboard unmoving. If he was to have the strength to say this, he wouldn't be able to look at her.

"I do." Was all she said in response. James nodded and steeled his nerves. His eyes closed.

This was it. There was no turning back now.

"I wasn't lying when I said I came here by my own choice. But to be honest with you? Becoming a pony is the LAST thing I had ever wanted to do." He hadn't opened his eyes yet, so he couldn't see the confused expression on Twilight's face.

"I... I don't understand, then why come here? Why become a pony if you really don't want to?" She knew she should be encouraging him to go through with the process. She really did, but just couldn't ignore her wild curiosity. Even stranger, she just couldn't bring herself to force him. Something in her had become scared of hurting him...

"I found it ironic that you said in your seminar 'You don't come here if you don't want to become a pony'. I found it real funny, because that's exactly what I did. I came here to become a pony, and I don't even want to."

"Don't worry," He said before she could say anything. Reaching over to pick up his bag, he began to rummage through it while he talked, "I'm going to tell you. I know I'm being difficult right now in answering your questions. I'm sorry about that. I kinda ramble a bit when I'm this nervous. Way to off set the feeling I suppose. Ah here we go. What do you see Twilight?"

In his hands he held a large sandwich bag full of various headache medicines. Twilight was shocked. She had never seen so many pills on one person before. But why would he have so many?

Her eyes widened.

"You... You wouldn't" James scoffed.

"Please Twilight, I'd think you'd know me a bit better then THAT. I know we've only known each other for a couple of days now, but do I look like that type of guy who'd take that way out? The cowards way?" He had finally looked at her. His expression was that of someone not only hurt, but disappointed.

Twilight slightly hung her head in shame. If anything, everything he had done for Rose proved that he wasn't someone who'd take their own life like that.. She shouldn't have jumped to conclusions.

"Sorry, this is just hard for me to talk about..." James said with a sigh. His eyes had fallen back upon his keyboard.

"So..." She said after a few minutes of silence had passed.

"So why do I have all these right?" She nodded, and even though he couldn't see her do it, he knew she had.

"The headaches started to flare a few months ago. I can't really tell you when. Most of my friends and all of my family had already become ponies by that time. So none of them knew about it. At first I didn't know what was going on, well I STILL don't know what's going on, but what I meant was that I just tried to ignore it. Chalking it up to the stress of having everyone I know walk out of my life."

He paused, giving her a chance to ask any questions. She only had one.

"Do you hate the idea of people becoming ponies?" He shook his head.

"No, if I had, I doubt I could have done that for Rose. I think it's a great offer really. I'm happy so many people are enjoying their new lives. Even I think it'd be neat to be a pony for a little bit. Just not... Well..."

"Just not...forever?" Twilight finished. He nodded sadly.

"And the headaches are what caused you to change your mind?" He nodded again.

"Why?" This time James sighed.

"I went to the doctor's. Obvious I know, but anyway they couldn't tell me anything. Nor could the next one, nor the next one..." Absentmindedly wringing his hands together, he took a breath. Here we go..

"Every doctor I went to said I checked out fine. That there was nothing wrong with me. Every test proved negative. Far as anyone was concerned? I wasn't in any trouble." James shook his head at the memories before he continued.

"However... The headaches weren't going away. In fact, they were only getting worse. Unbearable even. I was going mad. I couldn't figure out what was happening to me or why. That's when I realized I had only one resort left. The only thing that might possibly get rid of this ailment..."

Twilight's eyes widened. Everything finally falling into place.

"The gene manipulation. That's why you asked about it curing ailments like poor eye sight. Because you think it'll stop these headaches of yours!

"Bingo. Give the lady a prize." He said dully.

"You really don't want to become a pony do you?" James tensed at that. His feelings finally escaping the wall he had built around them.

"Twilight I'm scared." His voice was quivering. Tears were already threatening to escape from his eyes.

"I'm scared of what will happen to me. To who I am."

"But, the process..." He cut her off, not angrily, but with a sigh.

"I know. I know I'm being silly. I'll still be the same up here" He tapped his head.

"And in here." He tapped his chest over his heart.

"Nothing important about me will be changed. Just my body. But..." He couldn't fight it any longer, the tears escaped.

"Damn it, why can't I have a choice of just being who I am now? What's so WRONG with that? I LIKE being a human! Why can't I stay a human, and everyone else just do what they want? Becoming a pony is what makes them happy, I get that, and I want them to have that. But being in this body makes ME happy. Why god couldn't I just be allowed to KEEP that!?" He pounded the bed in frustration while weeping bitterly. He couldn't believe he was telling this to Twilight, even more then he could believe he was acting in such a way. But he had kept it in for so long. It had just felt so good to finally let it all go...

Twilight just stood there stunned. She could almost feel tears forming in her own eyes. She struggled for something to say. Anything to say.

"But you don't know that these headaches will continue! You could stay a human! You could still live a long life! Maybe we have a remedy in Equestria that could cure your headaches... maybe..." She trailed off. She had been making a promise she couldn't keep. The entire reason for this whole center was to get humans ready to go to Equestria as ponies. They HAD to be ponies, because they couldn't survive the magic found there otherwise. Giving him something made from Equestria plants could do more harm then good for all they knew.

It seemed this knowledge wasn't lost on James, as his next words were:

"I doubt that would work. The whole purpose of these ponifications are for us to survive the magic in Equestria right? I've thought about this long and hard Twilight. I thought of just letting this thing kill me. Die in the body I love." He stopped talking abruptly. Before Twilight finally had to finally finish his thought for him.

"But you decided not to..." He nodded.

"I honestly don't know if this thing will kill me. But with the way it's been getting worse, I seriously have my doubts that it won't. Much as I don't want to become a pony. I don't want to leave my friends and family with a corpse." James looked up at her with that.

"I'm no good to anyone dead Twi." he said, using her nickname without even realizing it.

"I don't want to die Twilight. It's the one selfish thing I think ever human and pony are allowed to feel. I also don't want to be a burden to my friends and family anymore. I wasn't there for any of their ponification processes. The centers simply scared me too much. They all said it was fine of course, but I still feel ashamed. I guess that's what made me want to help Rose so much, now that I think about it. I wasn't there for so many people, I just couldn't live with the thought of not being there for her."

James looked wishfully up at the ceiling. As if he could see through it into the stars.

"I want to help more people like I did with her. If becoming a pony is the means to do that, then so be it."

Twilight was rather amazed at this human. She had never, not in all her time at the center, could have dreamed she'd meet someone in his situation. Most people who came here had always wanted to become ponies, or had finally decided to do it for a friend, or to reunite with a wife. But in the end they had been given a choice. If they had wished for it, they could have walked out the door. Lived as a human for a little while longer...

Twilight felt she was being silly in a way. If the planet was truly to be covered in the magic of Equestria someday, all the humans would have to become Ponies. There was no guarantee that they'd find a 'work around' for that in time. It was, after all, why they had opened these centers in the first place. She just never expected to meet someone like him so soon.

"You're very brave James." Twilight said quietly.

"Thanks, but I don't feel that way." He said in response. The silence came back, but this time she couldn't think of a way to break it. She was about ready to take her leave when he spoke back up.

"Thank you for everything else too." He said. Twilight could only stare in response. What did he mean?

"If not for you being my greeter, I doubt I'd have mustered up the courage to stay here beyond the first night. Thank you for helping me calm my rattled nerves..."

"But I didn't do anything!" She protested. James smiled. What was more is that it was an actual smile. She had almost begun to think he had lost the ability, so she couldn't believe how happy she felt o see him do that.

"Even though you didn't know who I was, or what I was hiding. You offered to help me. You went out of your way not only to lend an ear on many occasion, but you were only too eager to help me in anyway you could. You told me everything I wanted to know at dinner, you aided me in setting up Rose's concert. You even came to check up on me this late at night." She blushed. She didn't want to admit that she had been this worried about a random volunteer. But the mysteries he had kept around him had kept her curiosity active. Even now she couldn't help but be worried. Even though he had finally laid his cards upon the table, there was just something about him she couldn't shake.

"When I... become a pony. Promise that we'll be friends?" James said suddenly, his voice sounding meek. He couldn't believe he had just said that. His face flushed red, making him want to burry it in his hands. But he stood his ground. Out of everypony he had met here. He realized that he didn't want his time in the center to be the only time he ever saw Twilight. Both her and Spike had become so important to him so fast. How strange life could be sometimes.

Twilight looked startled for a few seconds before she managed a smile herself. It was the best one she felt she had all night.

"Why wait till then?" She said suddenly. James looked up startled.

"After everything we've gone through over the last couple of days, and the conversation we just had? I'd say we became those already. But Let's make it official!". She stuck her hoof out in the same manner AppleJack had when he had first gotten there.

"Friends?" Twilight said with a grin. James stood dumbly for a few seconds before cracking a grin of his own.

"I guess you're right! Friends!" He said taking her hoof and shaking it.

"I'm glad I met you Twilight." He added with a blush.

"And I'm glad I met you James." She returned. She didn't know why, but this entire thing made her feel a bit funny. She had probably been up for much too long, that's all.

"Well I suppose it's time we got some sleep. Which reminds me. Do you want a room where the possibility of someone's dead daughter won't talk to you?" Twilight almost felt bad for saying that. For the second she had, James nearly leaped out of his skin.

"What!?" He said looking around in panic before his mind caught up with him. He blushed in embarrassment before throwing his pillow at her.

"That was mean Twilight! Do you have any idea how much the room number has been messing with me!? Here I am dealing with a situation like this, and I get stuck in the EVIL room! Also I thought you didn't know about that movie!" Twilight laughed, picking the pillow back up with her magic, and placing it back where it belonged.

"Actually I got a bit curious at what you had said when I asked you about the room so I finally got around to looking it up on that hypernet of yours. Can't say I blame you for feeling that way. I only wish I knew sooner. I can move you to a new room you know." James just shook his head.

"Too late now, I've already spent a night in it. If it was going to kill me it would have done so. I'm just glad it doesn't have a closet."

Twilight looked at him strangely.

"Er don't worry about it. Anyway, I should REALLY get some sleep now. After all, I don't want to break my promise to Rose in the morning!" Twilight nodded before bidding him a good night. James shut down his Holocomputer. Then got ready for bed. His mind began to recall everything that he had just been through the last couple of days while he attempted to drift off.

When he had first arrived, he had only been hoping to keep his nerve long enough to go through with the process. Having planned on staying holed up in his room the entire time. Instead, he had made friends with not only a baby dragon, but a unicorn pony, A young girl about to become a pony herself, and had even set up an impromptu concert for an entire crowd of people! If this was just being at the center, how was his life as a pony going to be like? Thought James supposed he'd have to find out which one he'd become first...

His awareness was beginning to fade. He WAS pretty tired after all. But he still couldn't help but wonder which of the three he'd get. Would he become an earth pony like Pinkie Pie and Applejack? James couldn't say he really liked that idea even now, but it was a possibility. But what if he became a pegasus like Rainbow Dash pr Wing Berry? Once more he desperately hoped that Rose would be among them when his time finally came.

But then there was the chance that he'd become an unicorn pony like his new friend Twilight. Mulling it over he still couldn't decide if he liked the idea of being a pegasus with the ability to fly, or the idea of being a unicorn with the power to use magic, more. A unicorn or a pegasus. Those were the two he really wanted to be...

"It's too bad I can't be both..."

* * *

Despite the long hours of the previous night, James managed to keep his promise to Rose. There he was, up and waiting by his door before Pinkie Pie had even managed to turn on the loud speaker. This time she mimicked the bell chime often heard the animes James had watched in the past.

He briefly wondered which one she must have watched the previous day. Guessing that to be the reason she was doing such a thing this time.

Sure enough, the first thing she mentioned was having heard the bell in an anime. She was told to get on with the announcements before divulging any details though, much to his disappointment.

"Anyway," She was saying, "You'll never guess what's for breakfast! PANCAKES! I like waffles myself, but pancakes are nummy tummy yummy as well! Oh and for the rest of the day we have that chicken lo' mien stuff again. I keep forgetting to ask what that is... Anyway for the Pony folk we have carrots and a Daffodil garden salad with ceaser dressing! Delicious! Now for the moment you've ALLLLLLLLL been waiting for! ANOTHER SONG!"

"PINKIE!" He could hear what had to be every other pony in the background shout.

"Only joking! It's time for today's pony graduate! Rose Miller! Come on down! Thank you! Thank you! I'll be here all week folks!" The speaker went dead then, cutting her off rather suddenly. James' vote was that Applejack had intervened.

Meanwhile Rose and crept out of her room. Smiling only when she saw James already waiting for her.

"Hiya kiddo!" He said with a smile. He noticed that today, instead of all their neighbors coming out and hollering up a storm, they were being very quiet as they came out of their rooms. Apparently her shyness was well known to everyone in the hall. Actually, James was rather glad to see this. It was really nice that everyone was showing such courtesy to her.

"G-good morning James. You kept your promise!" Rose said before giving him a hug. This caught him a bit off guard, but after a few seconds, and the many urging looks of his neighbors, he returned it.

"I told you Lady Rose. I'd never break my word." James said after she had stepped away again. The embarrassment on her face was unmistakable.

"Where's Bamboo?" He asked, noticing that for once she hadn't been clutching the stuffed toy to her chest.

"Sis is looking after him."

"He's not going with you?" She shook her head.

"I'll be fine. I'm not afraid anymore!" She declared proudly. James could hardly believe this was the same girl he had seen comfort him upon his first hour here.

"Go ahead then! I'll be right here waiting to cheer you on okay?" He said softly. He couldn't be sure, but James had a feeling he had finally managed to copy the way Twilight had spoken to her.

Rose nodded. While she hadn't spoken a word, her smile told him all he needed to know. With one last curtsey, she disappeared around the corner again. The last time she ever would as a human.

James felt he had never truly understood the phrase: "Minutes seem like hours" till that very moment. Every moment he stood there, waiting to see what kind of pony would walk around the corner was aggravating.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, he could hear the very faint clip clop of hooves upon the center's floor. He could feel his breath catch in his throat. James couldn't tell if she was walking in a depressed manner, or just a careful manner. No one had dared to speak a word. All eagerly awaiting for her to walk into view.

Slowly, and carefully A small female pony came trotting into view. Wobbly, but determined to stay up right. There was no mistaking that she was anyone other than Rose. James could tell from the very first glimpse of her.

She still had that shy, yet bold feel to her. Only now it belonged to a pony instead of a human. Her coat had become a pure white. Though her mane seemed to have a similar style to her old hair. It's color had become a deep red.

Just like a rose.

She was the cutest, most elegant little pony he had seen during his entire time there. She took a few more steps, arriving just at the edge of the hallway. There in the center she looked at all the neighbors gathered there to greet her. Then, turning her gaze to look straight at James. She smiled a most triumphant smile.

From her sides stretched out two magnificent white wings.

She had become a Pegasus.

The entire hall exploded into cheers, not a single person being able to contain themselves any longer. Even though Rose looked really embarrassed, she didn't run or shy away. Instead she made her way to James. Her eyes shining like stars.

"H-Hi" She said once she had gotten right in front of him. It was a bit jarring to hear her voice come from this little pony he saw before him. But he knew with out a doubt that it was Rose. The same Rose he had spent so much time with these last couple of days...

"Congratulations. Rose." James said Softly. He was truly happy for her. Her dream had come true. She could fly now. Fly all on her own.

"Thank you... James." She said with a blush. James was smiling, but he had to ask the question that had been on his mind.

"How does it feel?"

"It feels... REALLY weird." She said before beginning to giggle. James couldn't help but smile.

"How... how do I look?" She asked finally. He had a feeling that she had been dying to ask that question since the moment she had become a pony.

"Wonderful Rose. When I become a pony I hope I look as cool as you do right now." The smile Rose had on her face just then warmed his very heart. She spoke again:

"James... Thank you for believing in me. I can fly now. Just like I always wanted." He nodded.

"I never doubted for a moment that you'd fly Rose. No matter what may have been, I knew that you'd find a way."

"You'll find a way too." She said with a smile. The expression she wore was serious. Making her appear so much older and wiser then any twelve year old had any right to.

"You'll find a way to make your dream come true!" James hugged her then, fighting back his tears once more.

"I'll believe. If you believe then so will I" The rest of the hall had come up to give her their own congratulations at that time. Rose did her best not to shy away, and thanked each person politely. (If not quietly) Finally her sister Wing Berry, who had been waiting with Bamboo at the door of their room ever since Rose had left it, came up to nuzzle her new ponified sister.

Once the excitement had finally died down, the people began going about their usual business. Rose, as predicted, wanted to go outside right away to try out her wings. Wing Berry suggested she learn who to USE them first. But in the end, both James and Wing Berry knew that she wouldn't settle down until she had at least attempted to use them.

As the sisters began to walk toward one of the exits, Rose stopped to yell back at James. The very same way she had the first time they met.

"You... you promise to play with me again right? You promise that you won't stop being my friend right?"

James straightened himself up as best he could, before giving her the most gentlemanly bow he could muster.

"I give you my word Lady Rose. And that is something I can never break!." Rose gave him one last smile before trotting away with her sister. All the while testing out her ability to move her new wings. Ever so eager to use them to fly...

"That settles it." James said as he watched her leave. "I'm ready. If a girl like that can come out of this just fine. Then I have nothing to fear."

He felt the shiver and sense of dread upon his body again, but paid it little mind.

"Remnants of an old wound..." He said to himself silently. No one noticed how the shadows seemed to dance as if alive. Slithering off into the distance...

Tidbits:

“Never guess what’s for breakfast. PANCAKES!” I tried to resist doing that. I really REALLY tried. I’m sorry. XD

Chapter 6: Decision

"Good morning James. Enjoying it I hope?" Twilight asked him as she walked up with a stack of pancakes that matched his own. (Well for the exception that his had parts cut out of the stack for his consumption).

"It's a pretty good morning." James replied with a smile. It had only been about an hour or so after Rose's transformation into a pegasus pony. After doing his morning clean up, he had made his way to the cafeteria for some breakfast. James was half surprised to see it really HAD been pancakes on the menu. He had sort of assumed Pinkie was just being random. A trait she seemed particularly skilled at.

Twilight sat across from him, the same way she had during their dinner two nights ago. Using her magic, she lifted a small mug of syrup to pour across her pancakes. Then, now manipulating a fork with her magic, she began to eat. James couldn't help but find himself enjoying the simple act of seeing her do that. Feeling once more, a pang in his heart at his inability to use magic.

"Rose made a very pretty pegasus." Twilight said in between bites of her food. James nodded happily. If he had been forced to tell the truth, he had been more than a little worried at what might have happened, had she come out of there as anything else. Thankfully, that was one thing he'd never have to worry about again. Now he just had to wait out the other thing...

"I have a feeling she's going to be an amazing flyer..." He said staring off into space, his eyes becoming unfocused. James couldn't wait to see her fly. Hopefully he'd end up in the same area of Equestria that Rose did. Though, there were two others he had decided to attempt to become neighbors of first and foremost.

"Hey Twilight. When I go to Equestria... Think there's any chance of me ending up where you'll be? Er you know, so I know I'll be in a place with friends..." He didn't understand why, but the question was making him blush. Why did it feel so weird to ask that suddenly? Twilight thankfully, only smiled warmly.

"I'll be sure to send in a request that you're transferred to Ponyville. I actually run the library there. I'm sure Spike will enjoy having you there as well!"

James nodded as he ate his pancakes. It wouldn't be so bad at all, living in a quiet little town. Though he was certain it'd take a bit of getting use to living in a town full of nothing but ponies, but then again, he was certain it'd take a bit of getting use to BEING a pony himself.

Long as Twilight and Spike were near by though, he'd manage. He'd have plenty of time to seek out where his family ended up, and maybe even find a few of his older friends. James was also looking forward to seeing if Twilight went through with trying to get those gaming systems, along with a TV, installed there. Chance of him never playing them again or not, that he had to see.

"Cool," He said finally. "Can't wait."

"Do you really mean that?" Twilight asked hesitantly. James nodded, his face determined.

"I still wish there was another way," He began, setting his fork down, "But after everything that has happened these last couple of days, I'm ready. About as ready as I'm ever going to be."

"No more regrets?" It seemed like she was getting at something. His curiosity tickled, and he began to regard her a bit more carefully.

"None that'll hold me back." James quickly elaborated at the look she gave him after he said that. "Twilight, I'm always going to have some small regret about this. It's just the way things are. But like I said. I'm ready. Only thing I want now, is to just get it over with." He said with a steady nod before taking a swig of his Mountain Dew.

"Then how about tomorrow morning?" Twilight asked flatly. James nearly spit out his soda.

"W-what!?" He asked startled, "But I thought you had a week's wait!"

"Normally you do," Twilight said nodding, "But given your situation, I wanted to see about bumping you up a bit. It won't really affect anything. Just the person who was going to be ponified tomorrow waits an extra day that's all. My great organization skills have already sorted it all out. I just... wanted to hear your opinion first. It is YOUR ponification of course."

James had to take a moment to digest all this. Tomorrow morning. If he really wanted to, he could have this all over and done with after just one more day. All the anxiety, and fear he'd been feeling. The headaches. They could all be gone by tomorrow. He just had to say one word.

But it'd also meant it would possibly be the last time he could play a videogame, or type on his computer. James also didn't know anything about what kind of music they listened to in Equestria. What did they do for fun? All the doubt and questions he had been having about the process, ran through his mind again. Should he go for it? He'd have to eventually right? Why not sooner? After all, he did just say he wanted to get it all over with...

Up from the very recesses of his memory came a particularly old one of him and his sister playing by a lake one summer. He had wanted to wade slowly into the water, but his sister had just grabbed him and jumped straight in without warning. The water had been FREEZING ice, but it wasn't long before his body had adjusted to it. Still he remembered what he had shouted at her for that.

"Miranda! Why did you do that!?" James remembered giving her the deadliest look he could muster, but his sister had just looked at him with that big sisterly smile of hers.

"Listen bro, there's two ways of doing these kinda things. Either by wading in slowly, and missing out on all the possible fun. Or, you can jump right in and feel the thrill of it all!"

James smiled the memory faded back away...

I wonder what you are doing now sis?

"Let's do it." He replied, confident in his answer. Twilight Sparkle merely nodded, promising to make the schedule adjustments right after breakfast.

* * *

"Can't you just take one of those busses or something?" Spike asked, while James fiddled in his pockets for his key chain. It had only been an hour or two after he had arranged with Twilight for his ponification to happen the following morning.

In the meantime, he had decided to take care of a few last minute details. After telling Twilight that he'd be off the center grounds for most of the day. While she had no problems with this, and well it wasn't like it was uncommon, she did ask that he take Spike along with him. In order to keep him company. Least that's the excuse she had given him, but James figured it was just her way of keeping an eye on him. Spike on the other hand, was just glad for more time off.

For the moment, they were currently at a storage unit complex. Thankfully located a little ways across the street and down the block from the Conversion Bureau itself. Two days ago James had ridden over here and rented a storage unit for the vehicle that he had rode upon. James knew he could have just ridden the thing into the parking lot for the center, but that just wasn't safe enough for what he had stored away in here.

"What busses? After a majority of the city became ponies, busses stopped running." James had since found his key chain, but now was having trouble finding the right key to the unit's lock. He cursed under his breath as another key failed. Why couldn't he remember which one it was, and WHY did he have so many of these keys in the first place?! If there was anything he wasn't going to miss about being a human, this was one of them!

"Then rent a car or something. Anything so I don't have to sit in that baby carrier!" Spike was referring to the backpack style baby carrier. Which the entire purpose of the thine was to do just that: Carry a baby on one's back. It had been the only way Twilight would allow Spike to ride along with James after he had told her what he rode.

"I don't want to wear the stupid thing either Spike! That's why I keep suggesting you just stay here and I call you via phone when I get there! You don't actually HAVE to be present!"

"And miss out on seeing all those games you're going to give me? No way! Besides, if I don't go, I'd have to work. I'd rather skip that." Much as James hated to admit it, he couldn't argue with that fact.

"Anyway, that's why I just say rent a car! Besides what's so great about riding a motorbike anyway?" Spike said with crossed arms.

Meanwhile James finally found the correct key for the lock to the storage unit With a big smile upon his face as he got ready to reveal what lie inside as he unlocked the unit. His holocomputer was a valued possession indeed. But it was nothing compared to what he had placed in here.

"Look Spike I can't rent a car, I'd have to wait till I aged four more years, and I'm becoming a Pony tomorrow okay? Besides, I think you'll like THIS particular motorbike..."

The door slide up easily, allowing the sun to poor into the small room. It illuminated the bright red motorbike perfectly.

Spike didn't know a lot about human motorcycles, but even he could tell it wasn't your typical street bike. The thing seemed designed for only one person for one thing. It also had what appeared to be two giant mufflers on each side of the rear tire. Finally the foremost thing he noticed, since it was just about staring right at him, was the design on the front of the tire guard for the front tire. A seemingly three dimensional face, though it appeared more of a mask, then a real face. The effect was rather odd to look at.

Spike couldn't help but feel he had SEEN this somewhere before. Not only that but recently as well. James only stood there smirking as Spike furrowed his brow. He could just recall seeing something like this a couple of nights ago. He had been playing the 3DS port of Devil May Cry 3 with James-

Spike's eyes widened.

"You have a replica of Lady's motorbike from Devil May Cry 3?!?" He exclaimed rather shocked. The grin James gave him couldn't have gotten any wider.

"Isn't it freaking cool!?!" James exclaimed with glee, "And it works almost exactly like how it does in the game too!"

He was walking all around the bike as he tried to show it off. It wasn't easy to find someone in this day and age that not only KNEW what the bike was modeled after, but was a big enough fan of the series to really understand the awesomeness factor of this thing. Therefore James was determined to get all he could out of it.

"See these?" James said as he gently kicked one of the things Spike had mistaken for mufflers, "Hyper Fuel thrusters! Okay, yeah it's not Nitro like in the game, least I think it's Nitro it used in the game, but that's because the game was made before we discovered hyper fuel! Course you aren't legally suppose modify you vehicles to utilize hyper fuel like this so I rarely use them. Though the cops have been rather lax lately with all the people leaving to be ponies, so maybe I should rev em up a bit today? Anyway, I mostly just have it run on plain old gas, which is kinda hard to come by now, but you'd be surprised at the places that still sell it! Also-" He probably would have gone on forever if Spike hadn't stopped him then.

"Wait wait wait!" Spike said, managing to bring James out of his fanboyish prattling, "How did you even GET something like this?" James beamed at being asked that. Spike was half afraid he was going to go off on another fanboy prattle, but it appeared James had managed to get a hold of himself.

"I got lucky to have pretty much the coolest uncle one could ever ask for. He gave this to me for my sixteenth birthday, well after I got my license to drive one anyway. See, he knew how much I liked the game Devil May Cry 3 at the time, and had this done for me."

"Wait, I don't know that much about human money, but wouldn't that have cost a fortune?" Spike said raising an eyebrow in suspicion. "So what, this uncle of yours was loaded or something?"

"Oh no Uncle Jack wasn't rich or anything, he just had a really good connection. He had this friend named Michael, guy is crazy smart. I mean the guy's a physics instructor! But anyway my Uncle got him to help him put the bike together since they're best friends and all. Michael told me later that he was happy to do it. Not surprising given the stories Uncle Jack tells me about Michael's car. In the end, I guess you could say the bike's a present from both of them."

"Wow you ARE lucky if you know someone who can do THIS." Spike said with a whistle.

"I know..." James said looking off into the distance. The last James had heard from Uncle Jack was when he had given James the news that he was going to be ponified. James hadn't heard or seen anything from him since. It had been even longer since he had seen anything of his uncle's friend Michael for that matter.

Some life event had happened to Michael, that his uncle didn't like talking about. James had only met the guy a couple of times, but recalled he was an all around, fun to be around, kind of guy. If James ever ran into his uncle, he'd have to ask how everything was...

"Okay, I guess I'll put up with the baby carrier if we get to ride THIS." Spike said, drawing James out of his thoughts. He had a feeling Spike would have changed his mind upon seeing the bike.

After making sure it was still ready for road use, James helped Spike into his 'seat' before placing him on his back. Then it was a simple act of putting his helmet on, and they were ready to get going.

James grabbed the one key he had made sure he'd always know. It was the only one with a 'flame picture' mold after all. Placing it into the ignition, he turned it. Smiling warmly at the sound of the engine purring to life.

This is the last day I'll ever get to take you for a spin, James thought to himself as he patted the handlebars. May as well make it worth it!

"You know Spike..." James began. He knew he was unable to keep the evil grin from his face, so was rather glad Spike couldn't see his expression just then. "With all the ponified people, this town is mostly empty. To the point that the cops aren't really... Punishing little crimes if they don't hurt no one..."

It was clear from Spikes voice that he didn't like the way James was talking.

"Uh, so what are you saying?"

The grin on James' face only grew that much wider.

"What I'm 'saying' is..." He engaged the throttle and raced out of the unit in a mad dash. Waiting only long enough to make it to the road before he continued the sentence. "HANG ON TO YOUR LIFE PARTNER!"

James slammed the trigger to the hyper fuel thrusters, causing the bike to peel away like a bat out of hell. Laughing like a loon the entire time.

Spike meanwhile, was screaming his lungs out.

* * *

Hours later they drove back to the center. Having learned from Twilight that morning that he could store his bike in a storage unit on the center grounds. James didn't bother going back to his old one.

They had spent a good part of the afternoon just riding the bike around, especially enjoying the thrill of using the hyper fuel thrusters. James had been right in his statement about the 'lax' in police work as well. If any had seen what they had been doing, none of them had cared enough to bother stopping them.

"Okay that was the COOLEST thing ever!" Spike said, after James had brought the bike to a halt. While James had caught Spike off guard at first, The little dragon had quickly warmed up to the style of the ride. Once Spike had un-strapped himself and gotten back down to the ground, he decided to add something else:

"I still think you should have tried to make that jump."

"Spike that ditch was like twenty feet wide and there was no ramp!"

"So Hyper boost it! (Hyper boost is what Spike had come to call it when James used the thrusters) You would have made it easy! Didn't you tell me that the entire reason you were driving like that, was because you may never get another shot at it? Well when are you ever going to be able to do something like that jump again!?"

"If we had crashed I wouldn't be able to do ANYTHING ever again!" James shot back, "and the POINT of the drive wasn't just to drive, but so I could tell the storage unit by my old house where to mail all my stuff too!"

That was yet another thing he'd have to owe Twilight. She had said he could send all of his stuff to the library in Ponville, until they found him his own place to stay in the town. James wondered if he'd ever be able to repay Twilight after everything was said and done.

"There you two are!" A familiar voice called to them from the sky. James may have only heard that voice once before, but there was no mistaking it for anypony other than Rainbow Dash. He looked just in time to see her land on a concrete table in the grass a few feet from them.

"I thought that was you two. You're still the loudest arguers I've heard this side of the planet!" Spike's eyes narrowed.

"What do you want Rainbow Dash?" He asked with a sigh.

"Hey I didn't have to come find you, ya know!" Rainbow Dash said, obviously not missing the tone in Spike's voice. "Only reason I'm here at all is because Twilight asked me to come find you two! Or maybe you don't want the invitation!" She turned her head to the side in indifference.

"Invitation?" James asked before Spike could say anything more.

"Yeah, Twilight says that Wing Berry and Rose Feather, oh that's what Rose is calling herself now, are having a picnic and she invited the two of you! I was invited too of course, but I've got important flying patrols to perform!" Spike's eyes narrowed again

"Uh huh." He said in monotone.

"Hey we've all got important jobs to do here!" Rainbow said playing it cool, "I'm just trying to be like everypony else and do mine!" The look on Spike's face remained unchanged.

"So what Twilight was telling me about that unicorn pony, Midnight Shadow I belive? Being here on a mission from Princess Luna, has nothing to do with it?" Rainbow Dash tried to look indifferent at that, but James could see the slightest bit of a blush on her cheeks.

"Oh he's in town? I hadn't heard. Maybe I'll see him on my patrol." She tried, and failed, to say nonchalantly.

James' expression joined Spike's perfectly.

"Uh huh." They both said flatly.

"Fine, think that if you want!" Rainbow said with a huff, "In the meantime I've got some serious speed to achieve!" Before either of them could blink, Rainbow Dash had spread her wings and dashed away into the sky, leaving her rainbow trail behind her. James had to admit he was impressed. He really would have to ask her to teach him to fly if he ended up a pegasus like Rose. Rainbow's way of flying was just to wicked!

"So she likes this Midnight fellow?" James asked as they made their way to the center. He certainly hoped someone knew where Twilight was, since Rainbow had left before telling them WHERE the picnic was.

"Yeah, he's a great fellow too. Gave me some of his computer games, though he didn't have nearly as many as you do! It was mostly newer stuff as well." James had been smiling at Spike's words before something the dragon said finally registered in his brain.

"Wait, he had computer games? How did he play them?" Spike just rolled his eyes.

"When he was a human of course!" That caused James stop dead in his tracks.

"Wait, what? Rainbow likes a pony that was a human?!" The look Spike gave him was a questioning one.

"Yeah so? Don't tell me you didn't think that could happen. They ARE both ponies now you know."

James thought about this as they walked. In fact he hadn't thought all that much about it. If he really thought about it, it wasn't like the only relationships that could happen with former humans would be with other former humans. It only made sense that now they were ponies, the other ponies that had been born that way might find them attractive and vice versa...

For some reason, James suddenly found himself wondering if Twilight had ever fallen for a former human like that...

And why did he want to be a pony all of a sudden?

* * *

"That's very impressive Rose!" James told her, while watching the new pegasus hover around the picnic area. Just managing a good six or so feet from the ground. Rose would wobble a lot from time to time, but she was doing far better then James had ever expected. Especially since she had only gotten wings mere hours ago.

James doubted she'd ever be able to give Rainbow Dash a challenge, but as he watched her hover about, he couldn't help but feel that she truly did look like she belonged in the sky. He certainly couldn't wait to see her when had been flying long enough for it to feel natural to her. He had a feeling she'd be one of the most graceful flyers of them all one day..

Thankfully the picnic they had been invited to, hadn't quite started yet. Twilight having to take care of some more paperwork stuff before she'd be able to join them. So neither James nor Spike had missed out on any food.

In the meantime, the other attendees were setting things up. James and Spike had actually arrived, just as Wing Berry and Fluttershy, who had also been invited, were setting up the cloth. It seemed Rarity had also been invited. She had not to surprisingly, (Even to James who had only met her once before) had set up a beach lounging chair. Complete with an umbrella and small table. The entire thing set up off to the side of the site.

James did a rather exaggerated double take when he noticed that Rarity was in fact sitting in the chair, UPON HER BACK. Just like a human would. She even had her two front legs and hooves tucked behind her head like a human would. James couldn't help but feel that should be painful given their build. Yet she seemed perfectly fine as she sat there, complete with a straw beach hat and pink rimmed sunglasses.

For ponies, they either kept getting into positions, or moving in a way that he felt they just shouldn't be able to, given how they looked. James made a mental vow to seriously test this himself when HE became a pony.

"You really think so? I've been practicing all morning!" Rose cried happily. She came to rest upon the ground once more looking rather tired. Despite the fact she was panting and sweaty, James couldn't recall a time in the last couple of days where she seemed to glow so brightly.

I may be giving up a lot by becoming a pony. He thought while smiling at her, But this moment right here will be worth all of it.

"You bet she has!" Wing Berry said with a laugh, "Why if I hadn't forced her to take a fast break for breakfast, I doubt she would have eaten!" James groaned slightly. Did she HAVE to say that sentence that way?

"Oh, that reminds me," James said turning to Rose, "I heard from Rainbow Dash that you're calling yourself Rose Feather now. I think that's a great name! It's very pretty!" This made Rose blush.

"T-thank you..." She said, her meekness showing through again.

"Yeah she said she wanted something that would allow you to still call her Rose. Since she thought her name sounded so pretty when you said it!" Wing Berry added with a smile. Rose's blush deepened.

"S-Sis! Don't say things like that!" She said, while attempting to hide her face with her new hooves. (This didn't seem all that easy by what he could see. Apparently there were some things hands would always be better at.)

This caused everyone, except Rose of course, to have a good laugh. Even Spike, who had been voluntarily catering to any of Rarity's 'wishes' since they had arrived there, managed a chuckle. Even James was able to laugh despite the odd burning in his cheeks...

As they waited for the food. (It was suppose to arrive with Twilight.) James was thankful to find a small water cooler packed with drinks, had apparently been brought earlier. Grabbing an Apple Juice (There weren't any Mountain Dews, much to his disappointment) James reached into his pockets to pull out what he hoped to be his final dose of Tylenol ever. Rose's expression quickly changed to that of worry she saw him take the pills.

"James? You're not sick are you?" She had pranced over and had already begun looking him over before James had even had the chance to swallow.

As luck would have it, he was unable to say anything afterward as well since Fluttershy joined Rose in her examinations almost instantly after Rose had spoken.

"Oh dear! It's not serious is it? Do you maybe need some rest? Whenever one of my animal friends gets sick, I feed them a some warm soup. Should I see about getting you some soup to eat? The food isn't here yet, so I'm sure I can arrange it!" Fluttershy said, as she placed a hoof upon his forehead to check his temperature.

"N-no! I'm not sick! I'm fine! Really!": James stammered as meekly as Rose might have. All the other times he had tried to talk to Fluttershy, she had always flinched away from him. So this sudden boldness of hers had caught him completely off guard.

"It's just to take the edge off my headaches that's all! I'm not sick! I promise!" James finally managed to shout while under the examination of both pegasai. This seemed to calm them down, as both Fluttershy and Rose relaxed after he said that.

"Oh that's good, I simply couldn't bear it if there was a sick creature around. Uh, not that I think humans are weird creatures or anything, it's just since I'm a pony, I well..." James had managed to collect enough of his composer, thanks to seeing her stumble over her words, to finally talk normally himself again.

" No offense taken Fluttershy. Thank you for worrying about me. I'll be sure to let you know if I ever get sick alright?" Fluttershy smiled sweetly.

"And I promise to help you get better if you ever do. I like helping my friends get better." James mentally blinked at that. Did she actually consider him a friend? He thought she was scared stiff of him.

"Me too! Me too!" Rose began saying while she jumped around him. "I'll do all I can to help you get better too James!"

"Thanks Rose," He said ruffling the part of her mane atop her head. She struggled a bit to get away, but didn't really seem to mind that much. Wing Berry in the meantime, had been wondering about something James had said.

"You said 'headaches'. These common or something?" James nodded slowly, trying to find the best way to put everything, without worrying anyone.

"Yeah, they've been a bit worse then usual. "He said in the most offhand manner he could muster, "I wouldn't worry though. I've been having headaches since I was a child."

Course back then they were only a dull annoyance, not the knife piercing agony they had become since a few months ago. No reason to tell them that though. With luck it'd all be over tomorrow morning anyway.

"Well I wouldn't worry about that too much deary," Rarity said, having finally joined in on the conversation. Her words ironically not only seemed to back up his own thoughts, but put to rest any concerns they may have been feeling.

"Tomorrow morning you'll be a pony, and I'm willing to bet all those nasty health problems will be a thing of the past! You'll be a new man, or is that stallion? Well, you get what I'm applying I'm sure."

"You're becoming a pony tomorrow!?" Rose said with a shocked look. James guessed she hadn't been informed.

"That's right!" He said with another smile, "So don't worry about me! Tomorrow morning, we'll both be ponies and you can show me all the cool things that come with it!" She seemed to like this idea very much given how excitedly she was nodding.

"Sure thing! I can't wait to see what you become!"

Neither can I...He thought to himself.

The sound of a cart being pulled caught their attention, breaking up the conversation. Coming up a hill from the direction of the center James could make out the pony Applejack pulling a large cart of food. Though what was IN the cart he wasn't able to make out just yet. James was actually rather surprised at how easily AJ was pulling the thing. It honestly looked like she didn't even notice that she was pulling one, and while he couldn't' tell what was in it, the thing looked packed. Trotting along side her was Twilight, whom Rose ran up to greet.

"Why hello there My Little Pony," Twilight said with a smile as Rose ran up, "Are you ready for this picnic?" Rose had wanted to ramble on about how well she could fly, but was polite enough to hold back so she could answer.

"Sure am! I'm hungry!" She said jumping up and down like Pinkie Pie would. It was a real treat seeing her true colors displayed like that. James couldn't believe how much happier she seemed as a pony.

"I have to second that!" James said in response to Rose's comment, "I'm starved!"

"Well I'm mighty glad ta hear that sugercube!" Applejack said as she brought the cart to a stop next to their picnic cloth.

"We've got quite the feast for ya'll!" Applejack had leaped into the cart as she said that, somehow not messing any of the food up as she did so. In turn, the food had also somehow been stacked in such a way, that none of the it had smashed or flaked onto any of the other foods in the cart.

As Applejack dove around in the cart, she began to name the many dishes piled there, throwing them out and onto the cloth with crazy precision. Not a single dish landed upside down, or on top of another. James briefly wondered if this was some sort of earth pony magic.

"Yes siree! What we have here is the best that Apple Aches has to offer! We've got Apple Pies, Apple Fritters, Apple Tarts, Apple Dumplings, Apple Crisp, Apple Crumblers, Aaaaaaaand Apple Brown Betty! Er, the desert. Not my aunt Betty." James had thought he had gotten use to the strange behaviors of the ponies around him. But had forgotten about the fact he hadn't spent much time around Applejack yet. Looking over all the apple dishes he began to wonder just how he should act.

"Looks... delicious..." He finally decided to say, noticing the swell of pride in AppleJack's eyes when he did.

It was a good thing he liked apples...

* * *

It was starting to get late in the evening when James began to pull his motorbike back out of it's new home in one of the center's storage units. Despite lunch consisting almost entirely of apple products. (Twilight and Wing Berry had managed to get a few non-apple things added to the menu, and for whatever reason Fluttershy had a bushel of carrots.) The tastes and preparation of each apple dish had been so expertly crafted, that he could hardly tell he was eating the same fruit in every dish.

The rest of his day after that had gone pretty lazily, but that was just the way he wanted it. He hung out some more with all his new friends, watched Rose learn to fly a bit more, and had a nice little gaming session with Spike. Spanning a few different games. (They had originally planned to play nothing but Bloody Roar 5 on their 3DS' but after Spike kept being the crap out of him by only playing the character that became a dragon, James decided to move on to a different game.)

James had even found time to have a cup of tea, (Well coco for him. He despised the taste of tea) with Twilight. All in all he felt he had a pretty eventful day.

But there was still one thing he wanted to do before his time as a human came to an end. Something he knew he'd never get to do again afterward.

"I'd have to conclude that you aren't running away, so what ARE you up to?" Came Twilight's voice from behind him, as he got ready to ride his bike. James stopped from putting on his helmet so he could turn and answer her.

"There's this place I want to eat tonight. At one last time before I'm a pony." He replied.

It was a half truth, but James didn't want to tell her the real reason he was doing this. It was why he hadn't even invited Spike along after all.

"You do know you can still eat at any place around here AFTER you become a pony right? If you're worried about humans like the ones in the HLF," James knew she was talking about the Human Liberation Front. A group of people who were dead set on remaining human, who saw this entire ordeal as a takeover or something.

James, frankly, thought they were nuts. Sure he didn't want to be a pony, but that didn't mean those who DID should be denied. Twilight, not being able to read his mind of course, simply continued with what she was saying:

"I wouldn't worry about them. We've had pegasai ponies patrolling the city for any sights of their activity. You'd be perfectly safe!"

"Oh I know, but it's more of a treat kinda deal. Able to eat there later or not, I figured it's my last night as a human. Why not ya know?" Twilight thought about this before nodding.

"I see, well just be careful for me okay? I wouldn't want you to get hurt the night before you became a pony. I mean, I know you are apprehensive about the process, or were rather, sorry. But I have to say. I'm a bit excited! I can't wait to see which one you become!" James had thought he'd still feel some of the dread that he usually did at becoming a pony. Though he did still have some of his old regrets, even now. James was beginning to realize that he was more looking forward to tomorrow then he'd have thought.

Besides, there had been something else nagging at the back of his mind ever since earlier this day...

"Hey... Twilight..." James said slowly, making sure she was listening before he went on, "I heard from Spike that Rainbow has a bit of a, uh... 'liking' of a Pony that use to be human..."

"Oh you must mean Midnight Shadow. Yeah she was a bit disappointed when he didn't become a pegasus, but his rainbowish mane and tail still seemed to interest her. I don't know too much about her 'liking' him, but I guess it wouldn't be a stretch." Twilight said. It was clear by her tone that she had probably never given it much thought. So James asked the next question on his mind.

"So does that mean this kinda thing happens a lot? Like humans who become ponies... Any of them ever get into a relationship with any natural ponies?"

"Well yes, I suppose there have been a few instances. Why do you ask?" Twilight had tilted her head at him, clearly becoming interested. James could only blush in embarrassment at her questioning look.

"J-just curios is all! Anyway, I'd better get going before the place closes! See ya!" He said before plopping on his helmet and zipping off. Twilight had been too stunned by his sudden eagerness to depart for her to say anything more. So instead, she had simply watched him ride away.

What an interesting human, Twilight thought to herself as she turned to walk back toward the center. She really hoped he became a unicorn. She bet he'd be pretty handsome one too...

"That's odd..." She said to herself, while stopping dead in her tracks. "Where did THAT thought come from?"

* * *

A while later, James had finally found a place that would serve his goal.

He still felt bad about it of course. Especially with all he had learned about the ponies, and their way of life from all his new pony friends.

But this was just something he enjoyed doing, and it really was the last time he'd ever get to do it. James just hoped none of them ever found out about this. He couldn't imagine how he'd face Twilight, let ALONE Fluttershy...

Parking his bike in one of the empty parking spots for the restaurant. James walked into Long Horn Steakhouse, and ordered the largest steak they had.

Tidbits:

Okay this ‘Sidelines’ reference is one that’s probably going to get a Penalty card called on me. ^^;

-Yes the ‘Uncle Jack’ with a friend Michael, is indeed the same Jack and Michael from Sidelines. I really pondered about not doing that, as I’m pretty much connecting James to a character from that fic, but in the end I figured this is basically an ‘Alternate Universe’ kinda deal anyway, and just said screw it.

I already knew this wouldn’t be ‘In Cannon’ with either the original fic, or Sidelines. So hopefully the author of Sidelines won’t kill me if they ever read this. ^^;

But dang it, I wanted James to have that motorcycle, and it was just too perfect!

-Midnight Shadow. This is indeed the same Midnight Shadow from ‘Midnight’s Tale’ :P I was even able to give a reason for him being in town thanks to my having finished reading the story. ^_^

-The line Applejack says with the food is pretty much word for word, what she says in Ticket Master. I thought it’d be cute...

-Bloody Roar 5. God I wish.

-Also, I forgot to mention this last chapter. The comment Twilight makes about some people not wanting to become ponies, but giving in for reasons like ‘Reuniting with a wife’ is a loose reference to ‘The Conversion Bureau: Pride’